00:00
Basically, when I was 19,
00:01
I was close to like being 200 pounds and my mom wanted
00:04
me to go run an errand for her,
00:05
so like I was getting dressed in front of my mom.
00:14
Oh, you can go run your own errands.
00:18
But that was a wake-up call I needed because legit the next
00:21
day I started working out from home.
00:29
welcome to Mi Gente Latino.
00:32
We're so happy to have you.
00:34
Yes, thank you guys for having me.
00:35
It's been like a hot minute since we had you here till
00:38
last time. I know it was like a year and a
00:41
it's, it's been a hot minute.
00:42
Yes, a lot since my little situation,
00:47
situation. Oh, have you been?
00:50
good, good. We're here just you know.
00:57
Growing, busy. Yeah,
00:58
you look amazing. I see you killing it.
01:00
You guys are both absolutely killing it.
01:02
From one Latina to another,
01:03
I'm so freaking proud of you guys.
01:05
You guys are doing the damn so much.
01:07
Likewise to you too.
01:08
We're so proud of you.
01:09
I am constantly on my TikTok.
01:11
And I'm like, Vicky's here.
01:13
Vicky's here with me,
01:14
or I'll go to a comment section 10 my God,
01:17
Victoria. I don't like it.
01:18
I'm like, I feel like it has been less than a
01:21
year and a half because I'm constantly seeing.
01:23
You will always find me in the TikTok comment section,
01:26
please. You always find me there minding minding somebody else's business
01:32
not my own, minding somebody else's.
01:35
I love that. So you recently posted on Instagram and you
01:40
wrote, Choosing myself has been the hardest and most beautiful decision
01:44
I've ever made, and I'm so glad that I did.
01:47
It hasn't always been easy,
01:48
but it's been worth it.
01:49
I hope you choose yourself too.
01:52
What does that mean?
01:54
For where you're at today and right now,
01:57
and why did you decide to choose yourself?
02:00
I was in a very toxic on and off again
02:03
five-year relationship and,
02:07
a lot of situations happen within that time.
02:10
And I always kept going back to the relationship,
02:15
and not choosing myself,
02:16
you know, I always thought of the really good moments in
02:19
the relationship and somehow,
02:21
some way I would forget about the really bad moments that would
02:25
all just like, you know,
02:27
like, oh, it's fine.
02:28
And I would just go back,
02:29
you know, because it was familiar to me,
02:31
it was comfortable and I just,
02:33
I simply didn't want to let it go,
02:34
but it got to a point where I was like.
02:39
Yeah, there's like no coming back from this and this relationship
02:43
isn't going to change and I could either stay hurting in the
02:48
relationship or I can leave and hurt.
02:51
But at least if I leave and hurt,
02:53
eventually that hurt will go away.
02:56
And you know, because If I stay in the relationship,
03:01
I already know what's going to happen.
03:02
It's just going to be a continuous cycle.
03:04
And of course it's going to hurt to leave,
03:06
but eventually one day it won't hurt anymore.
03:09
So that was when I decided to choose myself.
03:13
What was the moment that you that you said,
03:17
like, I'm done for real this time?
03:20
Like I know in like us women,
03:23
I'm done, but am I really done?
03:25
You know, and I know for me.
03:29
There was a time where I literally,
03:32
I'm done and I felt like so numb.
03:34
I'm like, and I looked at myself in the mirror and
03:37
you're fucking done. You're done.
03:40
Like, and I would just like literally,
03:41
I felt crazy. I was literally like,
03:44
You feel crazy. You feel crazy like and you're like,
03:46
like you cannot go back.
03:48
No. What was that moment for you?
03:51
Something really, really bad happened and obviously like other bad things
03:56
had happened, but it had gotten to a point where I'm
03:58
like. This is lowkey kind of embarrassing.
04:01
Like the way that you're acting is is embarrassing.
04:05
And granted, you know,
04:06
we act like this because it doesn't happen out of nowhere.
04:11
You know, like you get disrespected or like you know you
04:15
keep saying how you feel and it gets to a point where
04:17
you're just so tired of saying how you feel.
04:21
You sound like a broken record because you're you're you're You're saying
04:24
what you need to say,
04:26
but is that other person really hearing you?
04:28
Are they really taking your feelings into consideration?
04:31
In my situation, they weren't.
04:34
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to fix this.
04:35
Yes, I'm going to do X,
04:37
And it was all talk and.
04:38
It was never action.
04:42
I'm like, You're you're you're doing the most.
04:47
This is absolutely insane.
04:48
Like it's time to go.
04:53
So that's where it got to me last November.
04:58
I, I, I can't do it.
05:01
I'm going to drive myself insane.
05:04
Yeah, and that healing process,
05:06
since you made that decision,
05:08
I want to talk about the art of decentering men.
05:12
I love that. I knew you would because see,
05:15
anytime I want to think fuck men,
05:17
I'm like Victoria would agree.
05:20
I actually, I posted on my Instagram story the other day
05:24
you know, a little meme,
05:25
and it said number one man hater,
05:26
and I said, I am adding this to my bio.
05:29
I should make shirts.
05:31
I mean, but let's talk about the importance as a woman
05:34
in whatever stage of life.
05:36
I don't care. If you're a child,
05:39
yeah, it's all stages of life of decentering men,
05:42
married, single, no important.
05:45
Why is it important?
05:46
Because I feel personally that women should have their own lives,
05:50
their own money, their own everything.
05:54
I don't want to say this.
05:55
Obviously whenever I say this,
05:57
it's never to even like bash women in relationships or to bash
06:01
married women or anything like that.
06:03
And like the point of me saying decenterment is to make yourself
06:08
whole, to be in love with yourself,
06:14
We don't know what's gonna happen in the future.
06:16
We all want the best.
06:17
We all want to live,
06:18
laugh, love. We all want to love one person.
06:20
We all want to get married.
06:21
We all wanna have that beautiful family,
06:23
that's an absolute goal,
06:25
but What if one day that's not his goal anymore and you've
06:31
made your entire world the center of this man and you don't
06:34
have anything. Then what?
06:38
He doesn't care. A man can change his mind tomorrow and
06:42
leave you with nothing,
06:43
and then you're probably stuck there with two kids,
06:45
one kid, figuring it out on your own.
06:48
You get me? So that's why I always say I would
06:51
love, I, I love educated women.
06:53
I want you to get an education.
06:54
I want you to go to college.
06:56
I want you to have your own money.
06:58
I want you to hustle because.
07:01
Women should have their own.
07:03
Especially, I feel like in the Latino culture we're raised into
07:06
quick, boyfriend, when are you guys going to get married
07:09
When is he going to propose?
07:11
when's a marriage? When are you guys going to have kids
07:17
everything around them and we're so brought up to make men our
07:24
entire universe. Basta's rule.
07:27
Yes, exactly. Exactly.
07:28
It's interesting because in our culture,
07:31
like there we go from like ages like teenager to 18,
07:36
like close your legs,
07:38
be careful, 10 quiida terrespect us,
07:40
and then out of nowhere,
07:43
I I. And then suddenly you date someone and you're in
07:53
it's just that switch up is crazy and it is all this
07:56
dependency but it's always that they're around los hombres,
07:59
but it's never told the hombres act right,
08:07
No, they don't say pressure for us.
08:08
Yeah, honestly, it's a lot.
08:10
So that's why I feel like we have to take things into
08:12
our own. And you know,
08:14
build ourselves up, love ourselves,
08:18
have a relationship with ourselves outside of a,
08:20
you know, romantic relationship.
08:22
And decentering men does not mean they cannot be in your life
08:25
It just means they aren't your whole life,
08:29
your whole life. Exactly.
08:31
I feel like when people say,
08:32
Oh, decenter men or you're a number one man hero,
08:35
whatever the case is,
08:35
it's like, it's really not that.
08:37
It's to have your own,
08:39
to, how do I put this?
08:43
Hold on, I'm drawing a blank.
08:45
Damn, I lost it to have your own,
08:51
Any words come to mind?
08:56
I had it on my tongue and I lost it.
08:58
It's gonna come back.
08:58
It is at the end of the.
09:00
Wait in the, in the car.
09:05
a good, good man will let his woman shine on her
09:09
That's what I was trying to say and look at her and
09:10
be like that's that.
09:11
That's right. A real man doesn't get offended because a real
09:17
man knows the struggle of being a woman because they've seen it
09:22
time and time again,
09:22
like women getting harassed,
09:24
women being sexually harassed,
09:25
with men not taking no for an answer like.
09:28
A real man doesn't get upset when you are a man hater
09:31
because at the end of the day you're only going to love
09:33
that one man. They're probably going to join in on you
09:36
fuck the rest of us as well.
09:38
Like we're awful. My friends suck.
09:40
I think honestly a lot of,
09:41
I just had this conversation.
09:45
I feel like a lot of this is driven by the ego
09:48
of men. It's driven by the ego of men,
09:51
and that's why it channels into who they're with,
09:54
because, yeah, it's because it brings it out of them
09:56
or like or or they think that's how they're supposed to act
09:59
or whatever. Just met,
10:04
No, we were at a like a cabana situation and I
10:06
got to talking with him and He,
10:10
they, they, my friends were saying,
10:11
oh yeah, like she's a man hater,
10:12
yada yada yada, right?
10:14
let them know because I'm not,
10:16
I don't play those games.
10:18
And then I had the conversation.
10:20
do you have a girlfriend?
10:22
pretend you did. Would you leave your girlfriend around your friends
10:25
It didn't even take 0.1 seconds for him to be like
10:29
there, you just proved my point.
10:30
You will not leave your girlfriend around your own friends.
10:33
So what does that say?
10:36
there you go. Got you,
10:36
boom, I got your ass.
10:40
and a bunch of men wouldn't because they know how they are
10:44
And also like say your girlfriend's hella intoxicated or something.
10:48
What's gonna happen? Or do you have really good friends,
10:50
or do you have really shitty friends?
10:51
Yeah, and men need to be having this conversation because it's
10:55
2026 and you're too old to not be.
10:59
no, but there has to be accountability.
11:01
There has to be because we're carrying so much weight as a
11:05
society, as females,
11:06
and protecting ourselves and,
11:08
you know, going out and having pepper spray in our bag
11:12
making sure to have our location shared with at least a family
11:15
member and a friend,
11:15
because who knows if I get kidnapped and raped and whatever.
11:18
Stop putting us in these situations,
11:20
and it's not all men,
11:21
but really it is not all men,
11:23
but all men. It usually is a man.
11:27
but it's always a man.
11:28
Yeah, so I don't know.
11:30
I think it's healthy for men,
11:32
at least in anyone that I want to be seeing romantically.
11:35
I need to be able to say this freely and not be
11:41
it's not, it's not entirely you,
11:43
it's, it's the world y'all created.
11:47
hold your friends accountable too,
11:48
buddy, because have those conversations a lot.
11:50
Some men do, and then that's why I also like to
11:52
say like I, I get a lot of shit for it
11:54
OK, some men are good,
11:56
obviously, 3%. 997 you suck.
12:03
But if you're in that 3%,
12:08
you know, you got some tattoos and what else,
12:11
what else? And have you been to therapy,
12:17
normalized for the love of boys.
12:19
a lot of them do need it.
12:22
they all need it they're unfortunately men are not taught to embrace
12:27
their emotions. They're not.
12:28
The culture, the culture is you got to be a man
12:31
You have to be a man.
12:32
You have to. The push-up challenge and this and that and
12:35
then suddenly one day down the line it all explodes and after
12:39
3 breakups in they realize what the source of their problem is
12:42
it's me. I'm the problem and they deal with it and
12:45
then they settle and you know it works out and sometimes it
12:48
doesn't and it's just a cycle men don't go to therapy,
12:51
they go to the gym like that's gonna.
12:55
And as a fitness guru and fitness baddie you can do both
13:00
you can do both I do both.
13:03
You can find the time one hour a day,
13:05
not a one hour a day.
13:06
Well, some of you need one hour a day.
13:11
One hour every 2 weeks.
13:12
Like it's not, it's not that hard to picture your mental
13:15
health first. Most some of them do need their 1 hour
13:19
a day. They have a lot of suppressed feelings that they
13:27
I think it's in there and they need it out.
13:29
They do, you know what,
13:30
like, since we're all therapy friendly here,
13:32
what's something if a man is watching this and it's like,
13:36
OK. I'm going to go to therapy.
13:38
What steps should they take to actually do it,
13:40
because I feel like it's a big problem is they don't even
13:42
know where to start.
13:45
do I go to the hospital?
13:46
Google is free, number one.
13:48
Google is free. There's also like a lot of,
13:52
if you're Latino, yeah,
13:54
BetterHelp. Latinx Therapy.
13:56
My friend owns Latinx Therapy.
13:58
If you're Latino and you want a Latino therapist,
13:59
Latinx Therapy. Speaking of Latinx therapy,
14:03
the importance of having a therapist that culturally understands you.
14:08
Oh my gosh, it has changed my life.
14:11
I just saw a skit about a Puerto Rican therapist and I
14:14
have a Puerto Rican therapist.
14:15
I saw, I think I saw.
14:17
Do we have the same FYP?
14:18
I think I saw that one legit just yesterday.
14:22
Yes, we probably do.
14:24
I think so. Like that's my girl.
14:26
Like she sees me in that way,
14:28
but she also won't judge me for coming,
14:30
you know, a white therapist would be like,
14:32
You need to put boundaries,
14:33
and you do need to put that.
14:34
I had that, and she was so the,
14:36
the white therapist. She was really nice,
14:37
but I feel like it was just the surf,
14:39
very surface level, and then the,
14:41
the. This Latina therapist,
14:43
I'm going to, oh dude,
14:46
like in there, and I'm like,
14:48
Yo, I don't know if I want to revisit that memory
14:49
She goes, We're going to have to get in that
14:51
freaking memory and we're going to replay it again and again and
14:56
again until you're fucking fly.
15:00
My therapist yesterday ended the conversation with,
15:03
man, I had therapy yesterday.
15:05
and next, and next week,
15:07
I think it's time we get into your childhood.
15:08
I was like, Do you really want to go there?
15:13
How much have you had?
15:15
you're really trying to keep your job.
15:20
We're gonna be here for real,
15:22
dating,, dating therapy is like dating.
15:24
I've gone to, I've been on and off in therapy since
15:27
2020, and within this last year from April of 2025 to
15:33
now I've been consistent with it either once every week or once
15:37
every two weeks, but I've been on and off on it
15:39
since 2020. I had Two therapists prior to who I currently
15:44
have now and it's I'm like,
15:47
but like again, you don't understand like where I'm coming from
15:50
as a man and then I had another one and I'm like
15:52
I kind of liked her,
15:54
but then it just didn't like feel right and then this last
15:57
one I'm like, oh you're stuck with me forever.
15:59
Like you just, you know,
16:01
like it's. You got to figure out who works for you
16:04
and you have to cut the relationship if it's not you
16:07
to, to, to progress and also if they're not challenging
16:10
you, they're just enabling you challenging,
16:13
they need to challenge you,
16:17
No, absolutely, you know,
16:20
speaking of, you know,
16:22
like healing and, and going to therapy,
16:25
how has like the healing process looked for you like
16:29
let's keep it, let's keep it real.
16:31
Like, like how has your day been?
16:36
obviously when this all happened,
16:38
it was like early November,
16:42
and that's when I went back to having therapy like once every
16:44
week,. I from November,
16:51
Like it was, I would have good days.
16:53
I wouldn't say really,
16:54
really good days, but I would have good days and then
16:56
I had really bad days to the point where one time I
17:01
like I'm hurting so much.
17:03
I'm going to the rage room.
17:06
Yeah, yeah, I just one random like I was just
17:09
bawling my eyes out.
17:13
like I just had so much anxiety,
17:14
you know, when you have that pain in your chest.
17:16
Oh my God. So I was like,
17:19
I got to do something with this.
17:20
So I went to the rage room and I was there for
17:23
Slamming, throwing, breaking shit.
17:28
end of December, I planned my very first solo trip and
17:31
I went to Paris and I was like,
17:34
Yeah, so I went to Paris to spend New Year's there
17:37
by myself and I was like,
17:38
I just, I can't be in LA.
17:39
Like I got, get me as far away as possible from
17:42
here. So I went there and I feel like it was
17:43
truly such a good experience just to be somewhere halfway across the
17:49
world by myself, not really on my phone,
17:52
just like Figuring me out and just,
17:55
yeah, exactly, just going ghost for a little bit,
17:57
you know. I was still,
17:58
you know, on little Instagram stories and TikToks just here and
18:01
there, but like it wasn't like it's also like I wasn't
18:03
working, you get me?
18:04
It's that one week where that gray area where no one's doing
18:07
anything. So I think it was a perfect time for me
18:11
January felt really, really good.
18:19
But then I was really scared about Valentine's Day,
18:22
of course, and I was like,
18:24
I have to make plans with my friends.
18:26
Like we, we have to do something like I just can't
18:27
be home, you get me?
18:29
So when it's like situations like that,
18:31
I know that are like,
18:32
what like my therapist says like you're first,
18:34
like Christmas was not easy for me.
18:36
Yeah, Christmas was not easy for me,
18:38
which is like I'm so glad that I'm leaving for New Year's
18:40
because I can't, I don't like.
18:43
I don't want to be bawling again.
18:44
Like I was a hot mess on Christmas.
18:46
I'm like that's fucked,
18:48
you know. So she's had a lot of firsts for me
18:50
were going to be really,
18:50
really difficult, and I'm like,
18:51
I know Valentine's Day was going to be like a big trigger
18:53
for me. So I was like,
18:55
I tried to keep myself as busy as possible that day.
18:57
Mind you, when it's just situations like that,
19:00
Myself busy, but when it's other regular days,
19:03
I am that person that feels their feelings.
19:06
Like because there's no other way.
19:08
If I keep suppressing everything,
19:10
it's going to hit me later on.
19:11
Yeah, I would rather,
19:13
I've been going through it,
19:14
so why not just keep going through it.
19:16
And then after that,
19:20
I was good up until the retrograde.
19:23
I would think I was down bad,
19:25
maybe like 2 days and then I was fine.
19:28
And then this weekend it hit me again.
19:30
Yeah, and it is an up and down.
19:33
It's wave wave and I was telling my therapist yesterday,
19:35
I was like. I was just really good,
19:39
like I just felt really,
19:40
really good. Where is this coming from?
19:43
And she's like, Well,
19:43
you're gonna have, you know,
19:44
you're gonna have the end I was like bawling to her yesterday
19:47
I don't wanna have these days anymore.
19:49
And she's like, Well,
19:50
we know you don't want to have these days anymore.
19:54
She's like, but You kind of got to go through it
19:59
she's like, it's not like it was,
20:01
you weren't just like in a 6 month,
20:03
1 year relationship. She's like,
20:05
you're trying to undo 5 years.
20:07
And I'm like, Can we undo them faster?
20:14
Like I'm tired, Vicky.
20:15
In a sense, you do have to think about it as
20:17
grief. Yeah, it is grief.
20:19
Yeah, you're, I've often had this described when I was
20:21
going through it. Described to me as you're grieving someone that
20:26
but they're not alive and well in the same way that you
20:29
fell in love with them and had a deep admiration for them
20:32
So I've actually never experienced death,
20:36
grief in that grief through the way of someone has passed away
20:42
to not have that experience,
20:43
but romantic grief is,
20:45
is very similar. You're describing a process that is long and
20:49
and that in 3 years from now it's still.
20:51
You might have a little,
20:53
you know, bit of action in your life because it might
20:58
That's part of the process,
20:59
and thankfully you're verbalizing this all,
21:01
you're letting it happen,
21:02
you're not suppressing it and pretending to not be going through it
21:07
You're embracing it because that is life and it is going
21:10
to lead to a fulfilled,
21:12
more better version of yourself at the end of the day.
21:16
This has put me through the wringer,
21:19
but also. I feel like It's also bringing out a better
21:26
side to me, for sure,
21:28
as weird as that may sound,
21:30
but it's like you just know what you're no longer going to
21:33
tolerate or you know that person that you were is also gone
21:37
along with that relationship because It's just,
21:39
it doesn't exist anymore and I think that's also like part of
21:44
you know, letting go of an old version of yourself.
21:47
Of course I feel 100% is that what you're saying because I
21:50
grieved a 10 year relationship,
21:53
you know, and then now I honestly feel very You know
21:58
happy to be in the relationship that I am,
22:03
I made that move because now we can both grow separately into
22:07
the lives that we're supposed to that you're supposed to exactly,
22:11
but my future looks bright.
22:15
No, and to add to that,
22:16
I, I don't like shouting out the ex because you'll have
22:19
the ex, but like if it weren't for the heartbreak that
22:24
and I'm not giving him the credit,
22:26
but I'm giving my Myself to credit for the work I did
22:28
after that and the healing that I forced myself through and the
22:31
loneliness and the isolation and the oh my God,
22:35
I've never that would not if I wouldn't have gone through that
22:38
I would not be seated.
22:39
Correct, correct, because it puts you through uncomfortable growths and
22:43
that's what I keep trying to sell myself.
22:44
there's light at the end of the tunnel.
22:46
Like I know I still have had like good moments,
22:49
but I know like better's coming.
22:50
But you know, when you're in it,
22:53
like myself currently, it's just like.
22:58
It's a lot. It's a loss.
23:00
It's a loss. You lose,
23:02
you lose that person.
23:05
the people you've met through them,
23:07
the family members, the,
23:09
that's also a big one.
23:10
I'm not, I'm not going to be that person.
23:13
everyone mutual like I will,
23:16
and I have distanced myself,
23:18
and this is for you,
23:20
and it's no hate to at all.
23:22
It's just you. I got to go eventually.
23:25
Sure, maybe I'll come back,
23:26
but like right now to the friendships,
23:28
not the the friendships of the friendship pause that,
23:34
you know, but in the moment like I'm just like I
23:36
really have to like get myself out of the situation and make
23:39
myself better. Yeah,
23:41
that's got to be OK.
23:42
Verbalizing to your friends,
23:43
hey, don't tell me more about that,
23:45
or, hey, please unfollow,
23:47
or, hey, it's not serving me in this moment.
23:51
I need your support.
23:57
I've already thought of it everything that you're,
24:01
I've already seen it up here.
24:03
And before we move on,
24:04
I wanted to close this up and if it's OK with you
24:07
guys because I know we have another section,
24:08
but, this is very important because we want to get
24:12
your advice to women who are staying in relationships that they know
24:18
no longer serve them,
24:19
but they're in it and they just don't know how to get
24:25
And you want to know what the crazy thing is,
24:26
I, since I opened up about my breakup,
24:30
I've gotten so many DMs flooded,
24:33
flooded with that question.
24:37
And what I tell them is,
24:38
if you're asking me,
24:40
you know it's time to go.
24:41
If you're, you know,
24:42
if you're asking me,
24:43
you know it's time to go.
24:44
Also, You've been staying in it,
24:49
and just like I told you guys earlier,
24:50
it hasn't gotten any better,
24:51
right? So you might as well leave,
24:53
but also, you're not going to leave.
24:57
Until you want to leave,
24:58
till you reach your breaking point,
25:01
you can ask, because I did,
25:02
you, you can ask so many people for their advice.
25:04
You can tell me the story from start to finish.
25:07
You can, and I will always be here to hear you
25:09
out, always, because I've appreciated the people who have been
25:12
there for me and just heard me say the same thing over
25:15
and over again. But you're not going to leave until you
25:20
know you're ready to leave,
25:21
and that's not something anybody can tell you.
25:23
It's just going to click to you one day.
25:25
It's gonna be a random Tuesday.
25:27
Hey, this is no longer serving me and I have to
25:29
go, but you can ask everybody for all the advice.
25:33
At the end of the day,
25:35
When you're really, really tired,
25:37
you're gonna go. It's almost the reverse of,
25:40
you know, you telling your person what you need to change
25:43
and they're not changing it.
25:44
This is you doing what they never could,
25:47
and it is unfortunately up to the person to walk away because
25:51
no one else can be like,
25:52
hey Vicky. You're done.
25:54
It's time you're done,
25:55
because that's not my plea as a friend,
25:57
as a colleague, as a whatever.
26:00
It's not appropriate. It's not because then,
26:02
and what if, what if in 5 years you're walking down
26:05
the aisle and I was the woman who tried,
26:08
you know, like you can't interfere.
26:10
It really is up to the individual.
26:12
Listen to the advice,
26:13
but take action on it.
26:16
Yeah, it's how much,
26:17
how much more are you willing to endure?
26:19
How much more of your life are you willing to waste?
26:21
Well, we know next week you're talking about your childhood in
26:24
therapy. So we actually did want to learn about you and
26:30
your upbringing a little bit.
26:32
Well, let's start now.
26:34
So like what we're gonna do is we're actually going to just
26:36
send this to your therapist.
26:37
She's done. So how old were you when you started working
26:42
girl? I think I was 15 if I remember correctly
26:46
My very first job was.
26:49
First, at a bakery that was,
26:51
so the street that I lived on,
26:53
there was like this little corner like plaza situation and so I
26:56
worked at a bakery like yeah panaderia like a regular ass panadaria
27:01
and then after that I worked at the grocery
27:02
store right next to it as a cashier.
27:07
I worked at a panaderia too,
27:09
but it was a carniceeria too.
27:12
So it was. That was my first job.
27:13
See, the panaderria was right here and the carniceeria was right
27:15
here. It's just right next to each other.
27:17
Started working very young,
27:19
And what part of town were you growing up in?
27:22
North Hollywood, North Hollywood,
27:23
Hollywood. 0818, baby.
27:24
I'm not going nowhere.
27:27
She's a valley girl girl.
27:29
What did you spend that first paycheck on,
27:31
girl? I don't even remember.
27:35
My mom probably took my money.
27:37
My mom was my first hustler.
27:41
Your mom was always your first scammer.
27:47
You never saw that thing ever again.
27:50
And when you look at your first job and you know,
27:53
where you were at that point in your life,
27:55
what has that taught you and shaped you in the way you
27:59
are today? Honestly,
28:02
you know, I don't remember how long I stayed there for
28:04
and then right at the age of 18,
28:07
I started working 3 jobs.
28:09
That taught me to be a hustler.
28:10
That taught me to go get what I needed to,
28:15
by any means. Like if you want it,
28:16
you got to work for it.
28:17
And the reason The reason why I started having 3 jobs at
28:20
18 was because my mom was trying to get out of a
28:22
verbally abusive relationship, and she relied on this man for money
28:28
And that's that's why I keep saying like,
28:30
I want women to have their own so they don't waste years
28:34
of their lives if they need to get out.
28:35
Like everything I say,
28:36
like it's been from my own personal experience.
28:40
you know, talking out of my ass.
28:41
Like I've seen my mom go through the worst,
28:43
so I'm like, it's up to me to get her out
28:45
of this relationship. Was it up to me?
28:47
No, but I didn't want my mom to,
28:50
yeah, exactly. I didn't need her suffering anymore,
28:52
so I went and I started working as I was an ESL
28:56
tutor, tutor, I guess,
28:58
translator,, at East Valley High School as soon as
29:01
I was 18. And then after that I worked in the
29:03
afterschool program. And then on the weekends in Studio City,
29:06
I worked in this restaurant called Arts Deli.
29:12
I mean I was everywhere in the valley working.
29:15
Also, in a sense you were,
29:16
you were teaching, right?
29:21
ESL kids ESL and ESL,
29:21
I was an ESL kid too.
29:23
Spanish. My first language,
29:26
I'm. I'm not ashamed.
29:29
A lot of ESL kids are baddies though.
29:35
I did. I don't think I learned English so I probably
29:38
was like 6 years old,
29:40
yeah, I credit my English to Shakira.
29:42
Oh, so and whenever,
29:45
wherever, whenever and wherever,
29:48
I shout out Shakira,
29:52
well, talking about your past,
29:54
we actually went on a deep scroll to your Instagram page.
29:57
Oh my God, did a little digging,
29:59
yes, and we want your reactions to some pictures that we
30:03
found that are still up on our.
30:04
We went deep in there,
30:05
girl. We went deep in the trenches.
30:07
I should have deleted.
30:10
They're so cute. Oh my God.
30:12
Here's our first one.
30:14
That's my birthday that I shared with somebody because,
30:16
you know, we're Mexican and we,
30:19
did they put your head in the key.
30:22
You want to know what they probably did.
30:24
That was like there was no escaping that.
30:26
There was no escaping that escaping.
30:28
No, like I don't understand.
30:28
That's so traumatizing. It is,
30:30
dude. What? Stop throwing the kids in the cake.
30:34
How old were you turning there?
30:36
Probably like 4 or 5.
30:38
What happened? I love that you have the same car.
30:41
You have the same carita.
30:43
I feel like my face has not changed whatsoever.
30:45
I did get pale as hell.
30:47
What happened? I used to have some color,
30:49
you guys. That's my very first boot camp ever.
30:52
I'm pretty sure that's the very first one ever.
30:57
I remember like it was 2018,
31:00
if I'm not mistaken.
31:01
I had just gotten out of another relationship and I said he
31:05
didn't want me working,
31:06
which is crazy. Yeah,
31:08
girl, he was very machista.
31:10
Yeah, he wanted me to stay home and have kids,
31:12
and mind you, I had told this man on and off
31:14
again, like, I don't want kids.
31:16
And he was very much trying to pressure me to have kids
31:18
I was like 2 fucking 50 hell no.
31:22
like, teenager. So I was like,
31:27
not me and my calzones.
31:31
Oh my God, that's a transformation picture.
31:34
The one on the left,
31:37
probably my, is that your,
31:42
Yeah, that was somebody else's problem,
31:43
not my own. I see someone cut out.
31:47
Somebody else's is not like,
31:50
and then the other one is my transformation.
31:53
Wow my goodness. Remind me when your fitness journey really began
31:58
OK, so I started losing weight at 19,
32:00
but like. So basically when I was 19,
32:03
I was close to being 200 pounds and my mom wanted me
32:06
to go run an errand for her,
32:07
so like I was getting dressed in front of my mom because
32:09
mind you, we still lived in that little one bedroom,
32:13
you know, situation.
32:14
Yeah, like I had 3 jobs,
32:15
but we couldn't afford to go anywhere else.
32:20
I was changing in front of my mom,
32:21
she goes. Victoria says Gorda.
32:28
you can, you can go run your own errands.
32:30
And I, and I put my clothes back on and my
32:32
sweats or whatever, and I was like,
32:34
I'm good. Like that was like so rude,
32:36
but That was a wake up call I needed because legit the
32:40
next day I started working out from home.
32:42
I mean it did sound like it,
32:45
Mothers know how to,
32:46
yeah, they know how to get under your skin.
32:48
They know how to hurt and also like,
32:50
yeah, like inspire action exactly.
32:52
So like sure I credit my fitness career to my mom because
32:56
if it wasn't for her calling me fat,
32:58
like I wouldn't have gotten like it together,
33:00
but the. Also again didn't have any money.
33:04
you know, back then,
33:05
in the TVs we had like on demand on the
33:07
TVs. I would play the Jillian Michaels like free workouts and
33:12
all I had was a set of dumbbells and a mat and
33:14
like that's where I would do it in my,
33:17
which also leads me to like,
33:18
that's why I love my current like on-demand 30 minute workouts because
33:24
They come from somewhere,
33:25
you get me? Like it's what led me to get where
33:29
I am. Like you can do anything if you have a
33:30
set of dumbbells and you're consistent.
33:32
So yeah, that's so beautiful.
33:34
So it really just comes from you hustling,
33:37
trying to help your mom in her situation while bettering yourself because
33:41
you know, there was a wake-up call and whatever,
33:45
I, I, I didn't know and also.
33:47
So now you get to work out in some beautiful gyms and
33:50
with beautiful people in a community of so many strong women who
33:54
admire you and literally look at your page and be like,
33:57
OK, I'm going to go to the gym,
33:59
inspire me to go out there today.
34:02
You have such a beautiful,
34:03
like, like the way you express yourself and the way you
34:06
talk to people in the community,
34:07
like you have such a beautiful way of expressing.
34:09
Expressing yourself and motivating and you're honestly like very genuine and I
34:14
can tell like why people like showing up to your classes and
34:17
why people love your content.
34:19
Like it's, I'm like dude,
34:20
we love this over here.
34:23
I've always spoken the same like there's the same way like I
34:26
speak on my Instagram story,
34:27
the same way I speak to you guys,
34:28
the same way like I'll speak to my community in person like
34:33
I'm not a good actress.
34:35
So like if I'm fake on the gram and then I'm like
34:38
a complete and then yeah,
34:39
you get me, and then you meet me in person,
34:43
I don't like her vibe because you get it.
34:45
It's all energy, right?
34:46
And you could tell when people aren't,
34:48
but speaking of advice,
34:50
so you're really good with giving advice,
34:53
we have a segment we love here.
34:54
It's called Perocadaquien. So we get voicemails from me to fam
34:58
and give our advice,
35:00
but everyone perocadaquin. Hey,
35:06
what's up, migente Latino?
35:07
OK, so in college I was friends with this
35:10
guy. I mean we're kind of friends,
35:12
and I always had a crush on his girlfriend.
35:14
She was smart. She was gorgeous.
35:17
Anyways, fast forward 6 years later,
35:21
She's still gorgeous, still smart,
35:24
and she's single now,
35:25
you know, we followed each other and now we're liking each
35:27
other's stories. The vibes are right.
35:29
I'm not even friends with that guy anymore.
35:32
Is it bad for me to try and take her out?
35:35
I don't know. I feel like,
35:37
I feel like I have to do it.
35:38
Let me know what you guys think.
35:40
I don't think it's bad.
35:41
He doesn't talk to the guy anymore.
35:42
He doesn't have a relationship with him.
35:44
That's from college 6 years ago.
35:45
He doesn't owe him anything,
35:47
and that also could be how random that he re-saw her.
35:53
Yeah, so it's kind of like fate,
35:54
low key, and I think this is an opportunity that you're
35:58
not supposed to wait,
35:59
waste. It's like the universe putting you back in the right
36:08
Also it's a green flag.
36:10
He's asking, he's worried about,
36:13
about, about a friendship that he no longer has.
36:16
Like that says a lot about.
36:19
do you want to reach out back to that friend to reconnect
36:21
But also, but that would be weird,
36:24
yeah, like they're not together anymore.
36:29
If she wasn't interested,
36:30
she wouldn't have given out her information.
36:32
Like girls don't just give you their information if they're.
36:34
This is true potential wife or someone that you somebody your friend
36:38
she's liking your stories too,
36:40
so it is kind of serious,
36:43
I don't just like anybody's story.
36:44
No, you have to select,
36:46
guys. I'm an advocate.
36:48
Story liking is deep.
36:49
Yes, it's not like for my girls,
36:52
I'm gonna like all your stories.
36:54
For a guy. I am very particular whose stories I like
36:57
I'm over here outing myself.
37:00
So if you get a like from Victoria,
37:03
you know you're special.
37:04
You got the green flags in the DM.
37:08
You're in the 3% that's hard,
37:11
but yeah, thank you so much,
37:15
Vicky for you guys for having me.
37:17
Thank you. Thank you.
37:18
And where can people find you?
37:19
OK, so now my Instagram name is Victoria Loza,
37:23
but it's VIC. and then Toya Loza dropped on all platforms
37:28
She dropped. I dropped the fit chick.
37:31
I had her for 10 years.
37:32
Yeah, that was the name that I started with.
37:34
I just kind of felt like.
37:36
Kind of like stopping me from doing other things and like I
37:39
really want to go into like lifestyle and beauty and like obviously
37:42
fitness is still my number one passion but like I want to
37:44
do it all and I don't want the fit chick part to
37:48
I don't want to be in a box.
37:50
No, you are outside you're outside the box.
37:52
Also you're doing in-person classes in Burbank.
37:56
No, legit, as I was driving over here,
37:58
From you guys, give me the info because I do not
38:01
know how to work out.
38:02
I'm sorry, I'm horrible.
38:04
I have them over at Maranque studio.
38:06
It's like maybe like on Lomita.
38:08
You're going to make a left.
38:08
It's like right there,
38:10
so I do them every Saturday at 8:00 a.m. It's
38:16
full body workouts. That's it.
38:18
But I only play reggaeton.
38:20
I only played. It's a music to my ear.
38:22
It's a safe space and if you don't like it's,
38:26
no, because we're in LA.
38:28
There are so many Latinas in Los Angeles.
38:30
Tell me why every workout class I go to,
38:33
Taylor Swift. I'm just like I had to take a Pilates
38:36
class for a brand thing that I went to,
38:38
and they were trying to play.
38:39
I'm like, I'm not going to work.
38:40
Out to Taylor. I'm no offense,
38:41
Taylor, but I'm just like,
38:42
it's not, it's not the vibe.
38:44
It's, it doesn't make you want to work out.
38:45
I need something that's gonna make me want to shake my ass
38:48
Vicky will naturally.
38:49
I will do that for you.
38:51
So if you like full body workouts,
38:52
if you like to sweat,
38:53
if you like to be around like-minded women,
38:55
come check out my class.
38:57
I post the tickets every Saturday at 12 p.m. And they go
39:05
We're gonna join Vicky as well.
39:05
Oh my God, I should train all of you guys in
39:07
the studio. That would be so funny.
39:08
I love this. I love it.
39:10
Let's do it. We have a segment called Dominican Man Investigates
39:15
And he basically goes and investigates different things like it could
39:19
be a reality TV show set or just like a workout class
39:23
that might be that would be fun,
39:26
yeah, it'd be very fun.
39:28
Oh, thank you so much for joining us and with that
39:31
we do end every podcast by saying mi gente latino.
Series