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Hello, my name is Laura and today it will be story time.
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This is based on a real story.
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This actually happened to me.
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This is a real story when I first moved from Miami to L A two years
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I was working at a restaurant where the manager was absolutely
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So there was this guy that worked there with me, all we did was
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flirt for a really long time, all day or day, flirt, flirt,
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flirt, flirt, flirt, but he would never ask me out and I didn't
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know why one day my roommate has a guy over and I'm just like
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I am horny and I am thirsty as hell.
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I'm gonna call his ass.
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It's like one o'clock in the morning.
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I was like, do you wanna just, do you wanna come over and he'd
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be like uh yeah, sure, why not?
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I had never done that in my life.
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I always let the guy do the first move and like that's just not
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So he comes over and he's like, oh, I'm a little tipsy and I'm
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Come over to my room.
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That's how I like it.
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So he comes over and he's just going around my room touching
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my things and he's like, oh, who painted this?
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And I'm like, it's my grandpa.
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Do you want to sit here?
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Because the, that's more comfortable.
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He's like, nah, I'm good.
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It's now three o'clock in the morning.
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This man still has not touched me.
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I'm still fully dressed and I'm like, you know what?
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It's getting late, I'm gonna go to sleep.
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You can sleep on the couch, you can sleep with me.
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I don't know where you want to go.
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If you want to go home.
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I put an extra pair of pants because I was cold like I'm over
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it and I go to my bed and he cuddles next to me.
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He starts talking about deep chopra.
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He starts talking about happiness.
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He starts talking about his dad is a pastor.
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I'm like, can I ask you something?
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He's like, yeah, what's up?
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I'm like, do you not want to have sex with me?
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Is that, is that what it is?
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Do you not, do you not find me attractive?
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Because I wanna have sex with you and obviously you don't want
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to because I have two pairs of pants on right now and you haven't
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done anything for the past three hours.
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What, what the hell am I gonna call you over at one o'clock in
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So he kind of starts laughing and he gets on top of me and I think
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he's about to kiss me.
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He goes, Laura and I'm like, mom, what is it?
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Wait, what I'm kidding.
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I'm like, ok, I'm sorry, I'm a little confused.
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Are you gay or are you not gay?
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Because I think you are, It was like, oh my God, Laura.
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I can't believe you think I'm gay.
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Uh Yes, bitch, I think you are.
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Yeah, you know I've been sitting here with my two pairs of extra
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pants on with, on top of me and you still haven't touched me
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and he's like you want me to touch your boob and I'm like, yeah
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He goes like this and I was like, you're scratching my boob
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That's how I know that you've never been with a woman or maybe
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you have and they liked it when you scratch their boobs.
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I don't like it when you scratch my boob.
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Please don't scratch my breast in my head.
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The moral of the story is girls pay attention to the clues if
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a guy has been flirting with you for over eight months and he
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hasn't asked you out, he hasn't touched your boob, he hasn't
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He's probably gay or he has a girlfriend or God knows what the
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But all I know is that I'm a moron because I let this happen to
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If this has happened to any of you, please let me know in the
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comments, I will read them.
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Tell me your horrific stories or if they're funny stories
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Mine was a little horrific because I did not expect him to say
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that it could have been anything in the world, but no, he was
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gay and then he said he wasn't with it.
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It messed with my mind a lot for a long time.
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To the point where right now I, I can't tell who's gay.
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If a guy comes up to me, he starts flirting with me.
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I'll be like, oh, he's probably gay.
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He's flirting with me.
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I don't know anymore.
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And now that I'm single.
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I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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