Hello, my name is Laura and today it will be story time.
This is based on a real story.
This actually happened to me.
This is a real story when I first moved from Miami to L A two years
I was working at a restaurant where the manager was absolutely
So there was this guy that worked there with me, all we did was
flirt for a really long time, all day or day, flirt, flirt,
flirt, flirt, flirt, but he would never ask me out and I didn't
know why one day my roommate has a guy over and I'm just like
I am horny and I am thirsty as hell.
I'm gonna call his ass.
It's like one o'clock in the morning.
I was like, do you wanna just, do you wanna come over and he'd
be like uh yeah, sure, why not?
I had never done that in my life.
I always let the guy do the first move and like that's just not
So he comes over and he's like, oh, I'm a little tipsy and I'm
Come over to my room.
That's how I like it.
So he comes over and he's just going around my room touching
my things and he's like, oh, who painted this?
And I'm like, it's my grandpa.
Do you want to sit here?
Because the, that's more comfortable.
He's like, nah, I'm good.
It's now three o'clock in the morning.
This man still has not touched me.
I'm still fully dressed and I'm like, you know what?
It's getting late, I'm gonna go to sleep.
You can sleep on the couch, you can sleep with me.
I don't know where you want to go.
If you want to go home.
I put an extra pair of pants because I was cold like I'm over
it and I go to my bed and he cuddles next to me.
He starts talking about deep chopra.
He starts talking about happiness.
He starts talking about his dad is a pastor.
I'm like, can I ask you something?
He's like, yeah, what's up?
I'm like, do you not want to have sex with me?
Is that, is that what it is?
Do you not, do you not find me attractive?
Because I wanna have sex with you and obviously you don't want
to because I have two pairs of pants on right now and you haven't
done anything for the past three hours.
What, what the hell am I gonna call you over at one o'clock in
So he kind of starts laughing and he gets on top of me and I think
he's about to kiss me.
He goes, Laura and I'm like, mom, what is it?
Wait, what I'm kidding.
I'm like, ok, I'm sorry, I'm a little confused.
Are you gay or are you not gay?
Because I think you are, It was like, oh my God, Laura.
I can't believe you think I'm gay.
Uh Yes, bitch, I think you are.
Yeah, you know I've been sitting here with my two pairs of extra
pants on with, on top of me and you still haven't touched me
and he's like you want me to touch your boob and I'm like, yeah
He goes like this and I was like, you're scratching my boob
That's how I know that you've never been with a woman or maybe
you have and they liked it when you scratch their boobs.
I don't like it when you scratch my boob.
Please don't scratch my breast in my head.
The moral of the story is girls pay attention to the clues if
a guy has been flirting with you for over eight months and he
hasn't asked you out, he hasn't touched your boob, he hasn't
He's probably gay or he has a girlfriend or God knows what the
But all I know is that I'm a moron because I let this happen to
If this has happened to any of you, please let me know in the
comments, I will read them.
Tell me your horrific stories or if they're funny stories
Mine was a little horrific because I did not expect him to say
that it could have been anything in the world, but no, he was
gay and then he said he wasn't with it.
It messed with my mind a lot for a long time.
To the point where right now I, I can't tell who's gay.
If a guy comes up to me, he starts flirting with me.
I'll be like, oh, he's probably gay.
He's flirting with me.
I don't know anymore.
And now that I'm single.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.