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That Time I Tried To Flirt At Church

Laura
I need to be holy for him.
Show transcript
00:00
Hey guys.
00:02
OK.
00:04
When I was 13 years old, I was invited to participate in a quinceanera
00:09
and I was really excited because I had never been a part of a
00:11
quinceanera.
00:12
I had heard so many great stories.
00:14
You meet cool people.
00:15
It's a lot of fun.
00:16
It's a lot of food.
00:17
I was like, hell, yeah, sign me up.
00:19
So I get there and it's a bunch of people that go to the same church
00:23
and they're all super sweet, super duper nice.
00:27
Then I see this guy that I really, really like and his name was
00:30
Adam.
00:31
Y'all know that's not his real name, but I have to change it
00:33
because I'm not trying to embarrass myself here more than
00:36
I already do.
00:36
So anyway, he was 17 years old and I was 13.
00:39
I know there's an age gap, don't worry about it.
00:41
So he danced really, really good.
00:43
He danced salsa.
00:45
He was Puerto Rican and I was like, damn, he looks really good
00:49
and he wasn't the most good looking guy, but he could dance
00:52
and I was like, super impressed by any guy that could dance
00:56
You know, I would go to rehearsals every Saturday and then
00:58
one day they were like, oh, you should come to our church because
01:01
they were all part of the same church.
01:03
And I was like, I mean, sure, I guess I had never really been
01:06
part of a Christian church.
01:08
I'm like, ok, so I went there, I honestly started going because
01:12
I wanted to see more of him.
01:13
But when I got there, I realized that he was the pastor's son
01:16
And I was like, oh my God, what do I do?
01:19
I am not holy enough.
01:20
I am not worthy of this boy's love.
01:23
My friends from the kings.
01:25
I would ask him, I'll be like you guys, I really, really like
01:27
him.
01:27
Like, what do I do?
01:28
And they're like, well, you can't dress slutty because you're
01:30
going to church.
01:31
What you can do is show off your shoes.
01:34
And I was like, what does that mean?
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They'd be like, ok, just wear open toed shoes because that
01:38
meant that you wanted it.
01:40
I didn't know what it was.
01:41
I was 13, but I was like, that makes total sense to me.
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I want whatever it is.
01:46
So they were like, just put open toe shoes and guys will know
01:49
what that means.
01:49
And I was like, OK, damn, I don't have high heels or open toe
01:53
shoes.
01:53
So I would just grab my mom's shoes and I would go to church with
01:56
these high heels, open toes and I'd see guys being like, oh
02:00
I know what doing.
02:02
It was weird.
02:02
I don't know why kids did that and then they started inviting
02:05
me to Bible study and everyone knows that Bible study is not
02:09
really Bible study.
02:09
Like, yeah, you talk about the Bible, you talk about Jesus
02:11
but low key.
02:12
It's like for the teens, it's like a teen's single mixer.
02:16
Like, that's where you want to flirt.
02:18
Teen Christians are just as horny as regular teens.
02:21
So on Sundays, whenever they would play those intense Christian
02:24
songs, I'd be like, ok, like I need to be holy for him.
02:28
So what I would do is I would start like and raise my hands and
02:31
really pray to Jesus and like, I would have tears coming down
02:35
my eyes because I felt the Holy Spirit also as I was doing this
02:39
I needed to see if he was looking at me because there's no point
02:41
in doing that show.
02:42
If he's not looking, that's really ratchet of me.
02:45
What are you going to do?
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I couldn't flirt with him like in church and he needed to know
02:49
that I was holy enough for him.
02:50
Little.
02:51
Did I know that he wasn't really holy.
02:53
He was really a hoe.
02:54
That's right.
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He was flirting with all little girls in church.
02:57
So one night after Bible said he goes up to me and he goes, hey
03:01
Laura, I like you and I'm like, what you mean?
03:04
Do you like me?
03:05
Like me?
03:05
Again, I was 13 years old, he was 17.
03:08
So he was like, yeah, I like you like you.
03:11
And I was like, ok, like I thought instantly he was my boyfriend
03:14
like, in my head, if someone tells you they like you, they're
03:17
your boyfriend and that's it, you start going out with them
03:19
So I was like, oh, what does that entail of?
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He's like, you're too young right now.
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But on your 15th birthday, I'll give you a kiss.
03:26
And I'm like, damn, I was like, oh wait for my 15th birthday
03:30
My 15th birthday comes and Katrina hit Florida.
03:33
So I couldn't have like a real key.
03:35
Say everything got canceled.
03:36
So we tried doing it the week after but like not a lot of people
03:40
came, he came for 10 minutes, ate food and then said see around
03:49
like um excuse kiss.
03:52
Obviously I didn't tell him that but I was so heartbroken because
03:55
I thought that I was going to have my first kiss with this guy
03:58
that I was obsessed with for a year.
04:00
I went to church for a year for a guy who didn't never really
04:03
liked me.
04:04
So the next day when I go to church after my quince, after he
04:07
broke my heart of me waiting for a damn.
04:09
Here.
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He goes to church with a girl who we had never seen before.
04:13
She wasn't holy.
04:14
She didn't put the work that I put in.
04:16
I was like, bitch Did you cry for Jesus?
04:18
No.
04:19
Did you wear open toe shoes?
04:21
No, she was wearing sneakers and she did not steal his Bible
04:26
or brought food sometimes that I would eat.
04:30
That's T I without, if you guys want more.
04:38
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04:45
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04:46
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