00:23
Hello, everyone and welcome to Laura's Corner.
00:26
I am Lauda and this is my corner in today's episode.
00:30
We're gonna talk about how I used to get whooped by my mom, my
00:34
family, my neighbors, everybody until my stepdad came along
00:38
and stopped the shenanigans.
00:40
We have a very special guest, the Cassandra Lee.
00:43
She is a singer, actress and producer and we're gonna see if
00:46
she got whooped as well.
00:49
And now it's time for an important ps A message brought to you
00:55
This is a show about comedy.
00:57
My pain and experiences are funny to me if you have been traumatized
01:02
and get easily offended.
01:03
This is not the show for you.
01:06
Bueno as some of you guys know I was born in Venezuela and there
01:10
Your kid was absolutely normal.
01:12
It probably still is everyone whooped their kids.
01:16
From your dios, your tias, your grandmas, the one person that
01:20
you think would whoop you, they whooped you too.
01:23
Neighbors would be allowed to whoop you.
01:25
So because my parents got divorced when I was like one, me and
01:28
my mom lived with her whole side of the family.
01:30
And so she told them, hey, listen, I'm gonna go to work.
01:33
But if you need to whoop, Laura go for it.
01:37
And so between me and my cousin, we were always getting work
01:39
because we like to hold it.
01:40
My family thought of the most creative ways of getting work
01:44
from the classic belt to the versatile changle to human nails
01:49
It was my grandma and my tia who would dig their long ass pointy
01:53
ass nails into my skull and I'm pretty sure I still have scars
01:57
I don't know if y'all want to zoom in and see.
01:59
Maybe not now because I little pi anyway, when I turn seven
02:02
my mom decides to move to Miami and there, I'm just like, yes
02:06
I'm not gonna get whooped anymore.
02:10
We moved in with my mom's sister and her husband and my little
02:13
cousin and guess what?
02:14
He loved to whoop me too.
02:15
In fact, he was allowed to whoop me.
02:17
My mom literally told him, oh, you know what sa just whoop her
02:21
It's totally fine by me and let me tell you my was scary as hell
02:27
I remember one time, I don't know what my cousin and I did, but
02:31
he started looking for us and me and my cousin knew that we were
02:34
gonna get whooped bad.
02:37
We were in the trenches, we were just waiting underneath the
02:40
bed and me and her were kind of holding hands and praying.
02:43
We're like, yo, Santisima don't know.
02:45
Entre and all of a sudden he grabs my cousin's leg and pulls
02:49
her under like a fucking scary ass movie.
02:51
She literally goes like this and I'm just like this because
02:56
I don't know if he knows that I'm underneath the bed too.
02:58
And all of a sudden this man grabs her upside down and he whoops
03:01
her ass so loud that it vibrated the whole entire house.
03:04
I mean at least that's how it felt because I was little and I'm
03:06
just like, oh my God, oh my God, like what am I gonna do?
03:09
So I run away as he's whooping her ass and I run and I go to another
03:13
room and I grab my teddy bear and I'm just there breathing silently
03:16
like he can't find me.
03:17
That was my teddy bear.
03:18
He can't, he can't hit me.
03:19
This bear is going to protect me.
03:22
He grabbed that Oita so fast and threw it.
03:26
And then he grabbed my leg and he whooped me and I went like this
03:28
it was that kind of whooping that your veins came out.
03:32
You're a child, your veins are not supposed to pop out but they
03:36
And so when my mom comes home, I'm like, mama meet the my big
03:40
girl and she's like, what did you do?
03:44
He whooped me, look at me.
03:46
She's like, so Julio and I'm just like at two fruit, at two a
03:53
year later, my mom meets my stepdad and she is whooping my ass
03:56
God knows for what I was.
03:59
I like to hold it a lot and he stopped her.
04:01
He goes, hey, and she's like what he goes, you don't have to
04:04
hit her Children will listen if you talk to them and he spoke
04:07
to me, he's like, hey, Laura, you're Julio a lot.
04:10
And I was like, yes, yes, I can.
04:14
Well, my step dad is the one that got everyone to stop whooping
04:17
And for that I will always be grateful.
04:21
A few years later, I'm a grown ass woman.
04:23
I'm in the dating scene and it's the first date that I have with
04:26
my now fiance and we're talking about kids and getting whooped
04:31
And I'm like, oh my gosh, I used to get whooped all the time because
04:33
I love to hold it in it.
04:35
And he's like, oh, I didn't get whooped.
04:36
My parents didn't believe in that.
04:37
And I was like, oh, I did, I definitely got whooped.
04:40
Let me tell you, I'm gonna whoop my kids too.
04:42
He's like, you shouldn't hit kids.
04:46
And I'm like, no, no, I mean, I'm, I'm not gonna really hit them
04:48
I was like, t them, you know, we continue dating miraculously
04:52
because he was definitely turned off by that and he made me
04:55
do research on child abuse and child rearing and like how hitting
05:01
When in summary, there's a lot of awareness now about not hitting
05:05
I don't know if I'm gonna hit them or not.
05:07
But Rosin Pia Sanae, maybe I'll bring out the flip flop because
05:11
it's floppy and it will hurt as much.
05:13
Anyway, let's go meet her guest and see if she got whooped as
05:16
a child or if she's gonna whoop her kids when she has them.
05:29
Welcome to my partner.
05:30
Thank you so much for you.
05:33
I love your earrings.
05:34
I try, I try, you know, it looks like you did because when I don't
05:39
you'll know I have a very important question to ask you and
05:42
everyone is dying to know.
05:44
Did you get whipped as a child?
05:51
Mi this is a judgment free zone.
05:56
So check it when I was little.
05:58
I was like five years old and um I didn't brush my teeth.
06:01
You said I'm five years old.
06:03
I was my breast teeth gonna be gone.
06:06
You know what I mean?
06:07
You know what I mean?
06:09
So I was, I was intelligent.
06:10
I was like it was gonna happen.
06:11
I was like I can just go eat.
06:13
I don't need to brush my teeth.
06:14
So then um my step mom felt my toothbrush.
06:19
You know that, that was if I had known I would have told my dad
06:22
and I was a daddy's girl.
06:23
So my dad's like Cassandra and I'm like, yes, did you brush
06:27
And I echo, I'm like, yes.
06:30
And he's like, he didn't, you know, it's dry.
06:34
So I'm gonna ask you again.
06:35
He really didn't want to whip me though.
06:37
And he's like just, just tell me, look, just tell me you didn't
06:40
All you have to do is just say that and I go, I didn't brush my
06:43
teeth, but I'm only saying that because he told me to look away
06:49
Yeah, that didn't work out because then he took a toothbrush
06:51
and just, oh he like whipped me right on my leg.
06:54
I had a welt of a toothbrush on my leg.
07:00
When he hit me, I just, I just looked at him now that we have gotten
07:07
Do you want to play a game?
07:12
The game is a little scary.
07:17
The name of this game is called, would you think about whooping
07:20
your child if you're gonna play my mom and I'm gonna be your
07:27
So I have to think about thinking to whip my child.
07:31
Which is, you got it.
07:33
But only thinking because we don't whip our Children.
07:44
Would you think about whooping me if, hey, mom, here's my report
07:50
I've been waiting to see this.
07:54
I got all Fs one D minus and ad.
07:59
No, no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't think to whip you.
08:02
I'd think to talk to you.
08:05
Would you think about whooping your 12 year old daughter?
08:09
If 12, I'm drinking and smoking and you can't do anything.
08:17
What the hell go to your pool.
08:20
I'm thinking about whooping.
08:21
You turn the camera off.
08:24
Hey mom, this is my friend Lena.
08:28
I'm not gonna go anywhere bitch.
08:30
I talked to my mom like that in front of my friends.
08:34
You're not gonna talk to this mom like that.
08:37
What you gonna do about it?
08:38
What am I gonna do about it?
08:39
We gonna dance about it.
08:40
That's what we gonna do.
08:41
Oh Get your rest of your room and you go home.
08:47
Hey mom, this is my 40 year old boyfriend and I wanna have a baby
08:52
with him and what, what you gonna do?
08:55
Uh No, you are not married.
08:58
You gonna whip me or not.
08:59
I'm whipping you and him there you have it.
09:03
So most of the time you you did?
09:06
Tell me about how you felt with this exercise?
09:09
Um, you're not my child.
09:11
No, no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't allow my child to do it.
09:17
Were you like that as a 12 year old?
09:20
Thank you so much Cassandra for coming to the show and for playing
09:24
this weird game with me.
09:26
I mean, you make a weird daughter.
09:28
Would you mind beatboxing for the Yeah, for my show.
09:32
Because I'm gonna sing.
09:41
We learned a lot about people whooping their kids like the
09:46
time she forgot to brush her teeth.
09:53
I got whooped too and it stained in my memory like my grand my
10:00
I got stains in my brain from the nails down to my grandma slid
10:09
Remember to brush your teeth.
10:11
Remember to take a shower.
10:13
So you don't get whooped and end up on the Mars show.
Series