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Caught Having Sex In A Car

Laura
An ode to tinted windows.
Show transcript
00:03
Hey guys, it's your girl, Laura.
00:04
I don't know if you guys noticed but I dyed my hair.
00:08
So when I was young, my mom was always like, and I was like, OK
00:17
you know, I, I could do that.
00:18
Why not?
00:19
I want someone to love me.
00:20
I wanted someone to get married to me.
00:22
So I did that except I was a senior in high school and I didn't
00:25
know how to do anything sexually other than make out.
00:28
So I had a boyfriend when I was 18 years old and we loved each
00:31
other very much and he was super patient with me.
00:33
And one day we were, you know, sitting in his car, I was sitting
00:37
on top of him.
00:38
It was very innocent.
00:39
We were both closed.
00:40
I was sitting like this in his lap but we were just like, no.
00:43
And all of a sudden like there was something in his pocket and
00:46
I was like, can you move your phone?
00:47
And I grabbed it and I'm like, it's very uncomfortable and
00:49
he's like, oh, that's not my phone, that's a dick.
00:53
And I was like, hold up, wait a minute.
00:56
I didn't do that.
00:57
I actually started crying because I had never felt a beep before
01:00
Um, it was pretty big but it was, I thought it was his phone.
01:09
God.
01:10
Anyway, after that, you know, I became accustomed to that
01:14
thing and we started getting, you know, thirstier and thirstier
01:18
We're teenagers, we're horny, we're touching each other's
01:20
body parts and we're like, oh, what is this?
01:23
Oh, that's a boob.
01:23
Oh, that's a peep.
01:24
You know, we're like, wow.
01:26
But there was no place to do it.
01:27
And it was very frustrating for us.
01:29
We couldn't do it at my parents' house because my mom was always
01:32
like, don't let a guy touch you unless you're married.
01:34
And I'm like, I'm not about that life.
01:35
We couldn't do it at his mom's house because she was 1/7 day
01:37
Adventist and she was way too religious.
01:40
And we're like, what do we do?
01:41
Thankfully, he had a car but it wasn't just any car.
01:44
It was an eclipse and every single night at 12 a.m. he would
01:48
call me and he'd be like, I think there's an eclipse tonight
01:52
and I'd be like, see, I know what that means.
01:55
So I would make sure my parents were asleep and I would sneak
01:58
out of the house and I would go meet him and we would do like,
02:00
freaky things in a car at, yeah.
02:04
So one day we were parked outside of my parents' apartment
02:07
right next to their car.
02:08
It was like 3 p.m. It was right after school and we were just
02:12
making out like, I didn't have a shirt on, he didn't have pants
02:14
on.
02:14
We were just like, we were just really going at it.
02:17
And all of a sudden my little brother, he was around five years
02:20
old at the time was walking with my grandparents and my little
02:24
brother sees the eclipse and he recognized it.
02:26
He goes hi.
02:31
And my grandparents are like, oh, yes, that is true.
02:33
That is Laura's boyfriend's car.
02:35
And so they all start walking and they're like, wow, this is
02:37
such a cool car, whatever.
02:39
And all of a sudden, Adrian looks inside the window.
02:43
He goes, Laura is in there, thank God.
02:46
His windows were tinted.
02:48
And so I look at it and I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, what do we
02:50
do?
02:50
What do we do?
02:50
So I put on my shirt and I'm like, just put your pants over your
02:54
legs and I smear my, my makeup everywhere and I rolled down
02:58
the window just a little bit and I'm like, what is it?
03:00
We're fighting and it's really intense because we might break
03:04
up.
03:04
Who knows?
03:05
We're, we're breaking up right now and they're like, ok, just
03:08
continue talking and I'm like, please thank you.
03:11
Let me tell y'all something that was the quickest thinking
03:13
I've ever done in my life.
03:15
We changed from where we made out, we went from making out in
03:18
front of my parents' apartment house to making out in a church
03:20
We just felt it was better.
03:22
Let me know if you guys were ever caught making out when you
03:24
guys were teenagers or adults because people were all freaky
03:28
Um, ok.
03:29
I'm not that freaky.