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All the Boys I've Loved Before

Laura
From StickyRicky69 to stinky feet, Laura hits nothing but net.
Show transcript
00:03
Hey guys, my name is Laura and I once dated a guy called Sticky
00:07
Ricky 69.
00:08
This is TM I, with Laura.
00:09
My mom has always been my best friend ever since I was little
00:12
Anything she told me I followed to a T so when I was growing up
00:16
when I was going through puberty, I started liking boys,
00:19
but I was very, very shy.
00:21
And so my mom told me and I was like three months.
00:30
She's like SCT porque significa morality.
00:35
And I was like, yes, that makes sense.
00:37
Thank you mom for the curried advice.
00:38
Guess what?
00:39
It wasn't good advice because no one stayed for more than three
00:42
days at first.
00:43
They'd be like, hey, Laura, do you want to be my girlfriend
00:45
And I was like, yeah, I want to be your girlfriend.
00:48
But guess what?
00:48
You need to wait three months before he kissed me.
00:50
Is that cool with you?
00:51
And they were like, oh, yeah, I guess three days later, hey
00:53
Laura, this isn't working out and I'd be like, I thought you
00:57
liked me.
00:57
I thought you were ok with waiting for three months to kiss
01:00
me.
01:00
I'd be like, Yeah.
01:01
No, my pants are on fire and I have an erection.
01:04
I don't know what little boys went through because no one stayed
01:06
for longer than three days.
01:08
Also.
01:08
I told them that they couldn't kiss me, hug me, touch me.
01:10
Anyway.
01:11
When I was a tiny, little bit older I got a little more confidence
01:15
but not in real life.
01:16
I was a freaky girl on a IA, I was a messaging thing that people
01:21
use, used to communicate with their friends.
01:23
And so I met this guy online whose name was Sticky Ricky 69.
01:27
And I was like, yes, I want that in my life and my name was single
01:32
Chama 989.
01:33
And so we knew each other from school.
01:35
We had seen each other, but we would never talk in person.
01:38
It was always online and he'd be like, oh your ass looks so good
01:41
today.
01:42
I wanted to grab your ass and I was like, why didn't you Sticky
01:45
Ricky?
01:45
I was nasty.
01:46
I was saying things that 13 year old should not be saying to
01:49
16 year olds.
01:50
So anyway, we would be freaky online and then in person he did
01:55
not exist.
01:55
He was there.
01:56
But I was like, I was so shy.
01:57
I couldn't, I just couldn't talk to him.
01:59
I was so shy whenever I would see him and like I could tell he
02:02
was shy too.
02:02
Like you'd think that the 16 year old would, you know, come
02:05
up and talk to me.
02:06
He's 16 years old, but no, he was equally sweaty as me.
02:10
We would see each other in person.
02:11
So finally, online he'd be so smooth and nasty.
02:15
Be like, damn, he's so confident.
02:17
I like that.
02:17
He was not, it was all a lie that we lived in our minds.
02:20
It was great.
02:21
I grew more and I thought I had even more knowledge and this
02:24
time it was in real life.
02:25
I love to go clubbing and dancing.
02:28
My technique to flirt with guys was very easy.
02:30
I would look at them and as soon as they looked at me, I wouldn't
02:33
look.
02:34
And as soon as they weren't looking, I would look back and it
02:36
was a dance and we kept doing all night until they finally walked
02:40
away.
02:40
This is what I thought.
02:41
This is what my mom always told me.
02:43
Laura Contigo Elva.
02:47
And so I'd be like, ok, if he likes me, he'll come to me.
02:49
But that never happened because you need to let the guy know
02:52
that you like him.
02:53
You need to clue him in.
02:54
The final straw came when I got friend zoned for four years
02:57
When I was in my twenties, I was in college and there was this
02:59
guy that I really, really liked.
03:01
I'm not going to say his name, he knows who he is.
03:03
We were best friends.
03:04
We loved comedy.
03:05
They're always making each other laugh and I'm like, how does
03:07
this guy not like me?
03:08
I don't understand.
03:09
Like, I'm pretty, I'm funny what is wrong with him?
03:12
And then one night when he finally made the move, he was like
03:16
hey, Laura, he actually called me Laura.
03:18
He swears.
03:19
I actually never correct him.
03:20
That's my fault.
03:20
He was like, hey, Laura, can I rub your feet?
03:23
And I was like, why would you do that?
03:25
My feet smell.
03:26
I've had my converse all day.
03:28
They smell like popcorn and cheese and fart silly.
03:32
And he was like, oh, ok, never mind.
03:34
And in my head, I was like, why would you want to rub my feet?
03:37
Idiot.
03:39
I think back now and I'm like, you're so stupid.
03:42
He was making a move.
03:43
And then the worst part of it all was that, that same night I
03:46
slept over his house and I made him turn around when I was changing
03:49
and then I asked for an extra blanket because we were going
03:52
to sleep in the same bed.
03:53
And I was being all conservative and I'm like, in my mom's head
03:55
I'm thinking Sie 10 Mora, he's gonna make the first move.
03:58
He didn't make the first move if I would have been single child
04:01
my 99 and would have grabbed it and be done with the friend
04:04
zone.
04:04
But no, that was just me being lauda conservative because
04:07
my mom told me all of these things.
04:09
She put cockroaches in my head about waiting and being a good
04:12
girl and all this stuff, which is ok.
04:14
It's fine to be a good girl, you know, self-respect, blah,
04:16
blah, blah.
04:17
It's good.
04:18
But also like, damn, like I didn't lose my virginity until
04:21
I was 24.
04:22
And that's tm I, hey, I'm not finished if you guys like what
04:28
you're watching.
04:29
Thank you.
04:30
First of all for staying and if you guys want to see more, check
04:33
out the playlist here on my right.
04:36
I left wherever the playlist is.
04:39
I'm inside a screen so I can't tell you where it is.
04:41
But if you look for it, you will find it.