00:00
You know, coming to the United States as such a as a four year
00:04
old, there was a lot of confusion, you know, first of all, we
00:06
didn't come with my father.
00:08
So that was uh it was, there was a, there was a, an element of
00:13
heartbreak that I felt for myself.
00:15
I even felt it within the dynamic of the family.
00:18
My mom, um I remember a very drastic change in the way we lived
00:25
we lived in Medellin, Colombia in a house, you know, two floors
00:29
I had my own bedroom.
00:30
I do remember, you know, parts of my bedroom to living in a high
00:34
rise in Jersey City, New Jersey in the freezing cold.
00:37
And my sister and I used to share this bed that, you know, remember
00:41
they used to call it like a, it was like a foldable bed.
00:44
And um I just remember my mom working a lot and um I just remember
00:54
a lot of uh a lot of financial struggle those early years, just
01:01
a lot of, you know, put your head down and just go to work.
01:04
Um Yeah, it was um it was a big transition.
01:09
My grandfather who has, um, since passed.
01:11
Um, I'm gonna say now almost seven years ago and I miss him dearly
01:15
We were very good friends.
01:16
He was, uh, an old man who never felt old.
01:20
He was the life of the party.
01:21
He had moved here and he was working in the bar scene.
01:25
He owned a bar in, in, in Lower Manhattan and he was doing very
01:30
well for himself here.
01:31
He loved the hustle and the bustle of the city.
01:34
I think that I got that part of me that's, you know, like a go
01:38
getter and from him and my mom, but he instilled it in my mom
01:43
and then my mom passed it on to me.
01:44
He wanted his family here, his wife and the kids.
01:47
And I think that, uh, my, my mom was very brave.
01:54
You know, my father didn't necessarily want to come here.
01:56
They came separately, he followed her afterwards, but she
02:00
came here to, she went to move to New York City.
02:03
We landed in New York City, uh, with two little girls and then
02:08
we ended up in Jersey City and it was, I actually don't know
02:12
Those first couple of months, I'll have to ask my mom, but I
02:14
know that we were in, in New York City and not in New Jersey.
02:17
And then we made a, a very swift move over over to Jersey.
02:22
My mom is still one of the most beautiful women, women.
02:30
She um was always, I think she wanted to be an actor, wanted
02:36
She was approached at a very young age by modeling agencies
02:40
in, in, in, in Medellin.
02:41
But you know, her parents didn't allow that for her.
02:44
So she kind of was a frustrated artist.
02:48
And then, you know what we did, I actually uh got her on one of
02:53
She did uh an episode of If Loving You is wrong.
02:57
Tyler wrote in a line for her.
02:59
She's became s eligible.
03:01
So she got to in some ways live out her, her dream of being on
03:05
camera and but she lives her dreams vicariously through me
03:08
Um She's big dreamer.
03:13
If I had what my mom had, if I had that thing, I would, who knows
03:17
where I would be because she's, she's a very fearless um loves
03:23
life like she's, everything is like, yes, go do it, you can
03:28
do it, you can do it.
03:28
My dad was much, a little bit more reserved, a little bit more
03:32
Um I don't wanna say fear based but just kind of like, hey, let's
03:36
keep, let's keep things together.
03:38
You know, that this thing about being an actor, you know, come
03:41
on like, you know, who do we know in that industry?
03:44
So he was very feet on the ground.
03:47
Stay focused, go to school.
03:50
And my mom was like, yes, let's, let's take acting classes
03:53
in New York and let's go do this.
03:54
So as soon as she started seeing the inclinations in me, she
03:58
started feeding and nurturing them and I will forever be grateful
04:03
It's a good, it's a good duality of um personalities to have
04:06
in a home and, but it's up to you.
04:08
Like which one are you gonna listen to?
04:09
You need them both, but which, which direction are you gonna
04:13
lean towards the most?
04:14
Um Because you can't stay in fear, you know, and I think that
04:18
we as Latinos as immigrants in this country have a long, hard
04:23
arduous job at getting over or kind of recalibrating and wire
04:28
ourselves for success in this country.
04:32
Because success to a lot of immigrants is not, you know, let
04:35
me go there and it's let me stay afloat and let me stay in fight
04:39
Let me just be able to feed my kids.
04:40
But, you know, I wanted to evolve past that and that's what
04:44
It's, this isn't about fight or flight.
04:46
This is about thriving and doing things that we love and, and
04:51
doing it with excellence and feeling good about yourself
04:54
and creating something for your family and for yourself that
04:56
you can be proud of.
04:57
It's not just about survival.
05:00
I always identified as um the little girl who kind of didn't
05:06
belong like we just didn't belong for a really long.
05:08
Why am I getting emotional?
05:16
However, it's beautiful because I feel that waking up to that
05:24
part of me that was like, why do I feel this way is what's creating
05:29
this whole new evolution in me now?
05:31
And I'm so excited, took a long time.
05:33
But I read a statistic.
05:34
It takes that long, it takes that long.
05:38
It takes a long time to rewire conditioning, um inevitable
05:45
It's your, it's a survival instinct of our parents and of our
05:49
culture to create in us like this, you have to survive but keep
05:56
You know, don't, don't make too much noise, don't make, don't
05:59
make a splash, just behave, get good grades, do all those things
06:03
And, you know, I woke up one day I was like, that's not enough
06:07
I need to exist and live and be fully myself and, and love, love
06:13
that part of me, love the fact that, you know, I grew up in a household
06:18
that we struggled financially because that makes me, you
06:22
know, it's making me more interested in, in even the financial
06:25
world and this is all new stuff.
06:27
This is all new things that have been evolving within me in
06:29
the last, I don't know, 85 years.
06:32
And, you know, now with this business that I'm launching,
06:35
it's, it, it, it really started from asking myself those questions
06:40
and asking myself tough questions about how I felt about myself
06:44
and where those feelings came from and how I could push past
06:48
them and use those experiences to fuel something bigger for
06:53
And so, you know, for, with acting, you know, it's, it's, it's
06:57
funny that that's, that's where this whole thing starts for
07:01
me because it's already a competitive industry, whether
07:05
you're Latino or not.
07:06
I mean, I live in a world of rejection so, you know, adding to
07:11
that uh a mindset that isn't wired for success, it's like an
07:15
interesting uh mix of the why, why am I doing this?
07:20
And now I understand that I had to go through all this denial
07:23
and I had to go through all these things to create this new thing
07:26
And I love, my passion is acting and I love being in front of
07:29
the camera and I love telling stories and I um I wanna do so much
07:35
But now I feel like I finally can because I understand all the
07:40
reasons why I felt like I couldn't modern news.
07:44
My, the, the lifestyle brand for its Latino centric content
07:49
is a love letter to myself.
07:50
It's me saying yes to myself.
07:53
But also me understanding that if I felt that way and I've had
07:57
a level of success that, you know, I feel pretty happy with
08:01
And what with what I've created, I wonder what so many other
08:04
girls who are still trying to figure those same questions
08:07
out, who haven't gone to the self introspection that inevitably
08:11
will come with all those feelings, right?
08:14
And so it's a platform to ask really raw questions to um highlight
08:19
a lot of those um things inside of us that are there inevitably
08:23
by way of culture, by way of just, you know, socioeconomic
08:28
Um how do we create um thought provoking content to allow for
08:35
women to find inspiration within themselves and stop looking
08:38
outside of themselves?
08:40
Because I was always looking outside of myself, like, who
08:44
And how, who look, who, who is the person and how can I emulate
08:48
And this is reframing for me at least is that I am that and I can
08:53
look at myself and I can feel proud of myself with whatever
08:56
It doesn't, you know, this isn't about being an entertainer
08:59
This is just about um seeing ourselves differently at the
09:04
end of the day, looking in the mirror and, and it's not a, it's
09:06
not even just about body image.
09:09
It's about all the things, all the things that encompass being
09:12
a human being and feeling good about being here, feeling good
09:16
about taking up space, feeling good about um the, the the things
09:23
that you've chosen to do if you're doing good in the world,
09:25
but feeling good about what you're putting out, feeling good
09:28
about taking up space.
09:29
That that's the biggest thing is that for the longest time
09:31
I would cringe even sitting in a, in a setting like this when
09:35
people would interview me, I remember feeling like, but they're
09:38
gonna find out that I really have nothing to say.
09:41
And I'm not, why am I, you know, those were real feelings for
09:45
And now I'm starting to understand that I can, I can take up
09:48
space and I have things to say and it may not matter to everybody
09:52
but it'll matter to somebody.
09:53
And that's enough when I went to the army.
09:57
This road to being an actor, an entertainer wasn't even on
10:03
For me, it's like, OK, had I not done that?
10:07
It would have never been, probably because it's just such
10:13
a, it's such a different lifestyle.
10:15
It, it's hard to even put into words what happens to you when
10:17
you're in the military, you, you, you leave life as you know
10:21
it and you enter this other reality.
10:24
That's very real to a lot of people that are still in the military
10:27
That's why they call this civilian world and they're, they're
10:31
You know, it's, they, they, they police themselves.
10:34
It's a whole different entity from the experience that we're
10:36
having here in the civilian world.
10:38
So when I was put, when I put myself in, in that situation and
10:42
I was there and I recognized um very early on at 20 how any, how
10:49
like small little decisions impact your life and how me going
10:53
to this thing and being able to travel and doing hurricane
10:57
relief efforts in impoverished areas of El Salvador.
11:00
I realized I was like, oh my gosh, I have it going on in my civilian
11:04
It's really not that bad.
11:06
I can do something amazing with myself and I can, I can try this
11:11
Had I not been there or done that or had those really rough experience
11:16
I, I wouldn't have bet on myself and moved to New York City and
11:20
went to acting school.
11:22
As soon as I mean, I drove from Fort Bragg, North Carolina to
11:26
New York City and I enrolled in HB Studios and my mom was like
11:29
yes, and my dad was like, I do, you know what, what is happening
11:33
Um But best decision I've ever made, I um I remember doing a
11:41
lot of off off Broadway productions and I remember giving
11:45
handing out uh flyers for managers and agents to come see
11:49
me and I had this manager come see me.
11:53
He was a manager at one entertainment and their big client
11:56
at the time was um Charlize Theron.
11:58
And so when they were like, come up to the office and after a
12:02
play that I'd done, his name was Jean Louis Jamaica.
12:06
And um they're like, we're gonna, we're gonna take you on for
12:10
We're not signing you.
12:11
We're gonna take you on, we're gonna send you out to a couple
12:13
of things and the feedback that was coming back was she's very
12:17
green, but she's good.
12:19
We like her and then I booked a movie, like no extra work.
12:26
And I was like, wow, I really, I, I think I can do this.
12:30
It was Jennifer Lopez's first production from her uh New York
12:36
Rican Productions Company.
12:38
And it was a movie starring myself in a Marian and it was like
12:43
I was scared the whole time because I'm not necessarily a dancer
12:47
But I just remember going to, we filmed it in Puerto Rico and
12:50
saying this is a big break because the, the other, the only
12:55
other thing I'd done before that was a Bud Budweiser commercial
12:58
with Carlos Biz and like, uh you know, I'd done like little
13:04
independent things here and there, but nothing of this level
13:06
And that happened the first year that I, you know, fairly early
13:10
on um didn't have money for a plane ticket because this was
13:16
the thing, this was the, this is what happened.
13:18
They had already hired the actress and she ended up not working
13:23
Something happens within the production and she was no longer
13:27
doing the movie I had auditioned for it, didn't book it the
13:31
Then they reached out.
13:32
They're like, hey, would she fly herself down to Puerto Rico
13:35
uh to meet with the producers and to have a chemistry read with
13:39
the lead actor, but she has to fly herself out.
13:42
She's gotta be here like tomorrow and if, if she books it, she
13:46
can, you know, we will reimburse her and we'll fly her stuff
13:50
My mom and I putting money together, it was like $400.
13:54
We're like credit cards or like, how do we do this?
13:56
But that's how it happened.
13:58
And she and I, you know, put that got, got a plane ticket and
14:03
I mean, my mom used to sit, you know, because parking in New
14:07
York City is expensive.
14:08
It was $30 then it's like $80.
14:10
Now it's a park in a lot in New York City.
14:13
It's like, I don't know, how do people afford a car there anyway
14:16
uh, she used to just park and drive around city blocks waiting
14:21
for me and, and taking me in her, in her, you know, uh what car
14:27
It was the Hyundai, a Hyundai.
14:29
I forgot the name, but it was a Hyundai like a little mini SUV
14:32
And we just drive a downtown.
14:35
Then we're gonna go up to this next audition is here and she
14:39
would just drive around and with our dog, our golden retriever
14:43
in the car and we'd go.
14:45
And so that was a big moment for both of us and we were on this
14:50
I mean, we still are.
14:51
She's watching my baby now.
14:53
She's at home with my daughter right now as I'm here trying
14:55
to build this other dream I, we had this conversation off screen
15:01
Tony about our parents and I believe that they say that you
15:06
And I did a hell of a job picking my mom and my dad.
15:11
She's, she's an amazing, amazing woman.
15:13
She did a, she, you know, we went into debt together for a lot
15:19
of these things early on school and you know how to get from
15:22
point A to point B and she did the same thing for all of us, supported
15:28
My brother um went to West Point and she was like, got him the
15:33
interview with the, the, the congressman or whoever it was
15:39
So she's, she's a badass.
15:41
I've been very lucky to play a couple of mothers and I absolutely
15:45
have brought in her love and uh her tenacity and her strengths
15:49
into my characters, which is very admirable.
15:52
Um And that all, not all moms are, sadly, I know a lot of people
16:00
that don't have the same experience or don't have that same
16:04
uh camaraderie or dynamic with their parents.
16:07
And um so I feel very blessed but yeah, she's definitely been
16:10
someone that I've drawn a lot of inspiration from even just
16:15
Like, what would, how would mommy handle this?
16:17
How does you know, how does she, how does she transmit this
16:19
She's very positive, very spiritual.
16:23
And um and she walks me off the ledge all the time.
16:29
So, yeah, she's still doing, she's still doing her job as a
16:32
It's never ending the poor thing.
16:35
And now I understand it now with my daughter, she needs me all
16:42
Well, my daughter has completely shifted.
16:45
Um, my perspective on a lot of things.
16:48
I, I feel that her joy and her happiness to me are, are in priority
16:54
Um, you take so much attention off of yourself, you become
17:00
Um And I have a bigger responsibility now, not in terms of being
17:05
successful, but in terms of creating something that she can
17:08
be proud of and that she can look at me how I looked at my mom and
17:15
Um So she can create a life for herself, looking at me as a mirror
17:21
like I did with my mom that she's happy with that she's proud
17:26
And it's a big responsibility to be a mom.
17:29
And um I'm bringing a lot of those feelings and a lot of those
17:33
emotions into modern news.
17:35
Um Just last night, we had a conversation with some of our new
17:38
partners about and they have daughters as well.
17:42
And it's a big responsibility as a whole to say, I'm gonna try
17:47
to have this platform to create um change within the mindset
17:56
So it's a tall order.
17:57
I'm not saying I can do it alone because I can't, I can just try
18:00
and create something for my daughter that she create a space
18:05
hold a safe space for her.
18:06
So that she feels always seen that she feels always heard and
18:10
she always feels like she can come to me with um with any problem
18:16
Like I could and always was able to, with my mother and that
18:19
we would figure things out together that she would never feel
18:23
um alone or not supported or Yeah, she was my mom always used
18:29
to tell me I'm not your friend, I'm your mom.
18:32
But now it's like I was always your friend but I needed to mother
18:43
If I were to offer advice to a young Latina woman who was trying
18:48
to work in front of the camera or trying to tell stories, try
18:51
to become an entertainer in any facet that um you have to believe
18:57
you have to see yourself there.
18:58
You have to have the vision and you have to believe that you
19:02
can get there because if you don't, nobody's gonna in, nobody's
19:06
going to instill that in you that has to come from you.
19:08
Not even your mother can do that for you.
19:10
You can, can have all the support around you.
19:12
You can have all of the.
19:14
But at the end of the day when you go to bed at night, you have
19:17
to live knowing some things and knowing some things means
19:22
you have to know that this is going to come to fruition you have
19:26
to live knowing a few things at least.
19:29
And then you can build from there.
19:31
You have to love, you have to love it.
19:36
Yes, because it's, there's, there's another aspect of it
19:39
that it's like you, you have to pay your dues and you have to
19:42
go through a lot of things too.
19:44
But you have to believe that you can see, you have to see it and
19:48
you have to believe that it's gonna happen.
19:50
If you asked me 24 years ago, if I had any regrets or if I could
19:54
do have a do over or do something different.
19:57
I I'm pretty sure I would say I, I would have, I would have said
20:02
I've had a lot because I've made a lot of mistakes and I've showed
20:07
up fractured to a lot of great opportunities or not my best
20:12
self or not confident enough.
20:13
But uh I just don't live that way right now.
20:18
And in this current incarnation of me, I just feel like everything
20:21
I've done has led me here even to this chair sitting with you
20:25
And it's because of all those things.
20:30
There's no need to really change anything.
20:33
I am the proudest of this version of me that is um still coming
20:39
up with new ideas and visions and dreams and still going, I
20:45
I am proud of the way in which I've learned to love myself.
20:54
I am proud of of the questions I've asked myself the hard questions
20:58
that I've asked myself and I'm really proud of becoming a mom
21:02
really proud of being a mom.
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