00:00
I'm extremely fortunate grateful that uh the universe God
00:04
life art has given me a green light to cross the street and I
00:10
done my work so that I can stick around.
00:19
Let's begin the way we do with everyone, please, with your
00:21
name and your nationality.
00:23
Uh My name is Antonio Jail.
00:26
A um a Mexican from Mexico.
00:28
Where, where were you born in Mexico?
00:30
I was born in Tijuana, Tijuana Baja California.
00:33
And you live in Mexico until um until I was 14, I grew up in an
00:38
orphanage over there and then I came over to reconnect with
00:43
uh family that they said I had over here.
00:47
So I went and searched my family.
00:49
Let's go back before you came over.
00:51
What, what are some of your earliest childhood memories?
00:56
Uh They're not too good.
00:59
Um I remember lots of kids, everybody.
01:02
Um some fighting with one another, others playing others
01:07
A little sad, not, not too happy.
01:10
Maybe someone crying over there are, are your earliest memories
01:13
from uh the orphanage there?
01:16
Yeah, I spent 10 years there so they prevail, they're the strongest
01:21
I mean, and what and what was life like for you there.
01:25
Um, it was, uh, I mean, now that now as an adult I can, I can have
01:31
an opinion on it when I was living.
01:33
It, it just felt strange but it was quite, uh, I guess, uh, lonely
01:40
It was, um, hard to get attention, you know, even from the other
01:45
ones around you, the kids, the ones that have been there longest
01:48
they, they just, they beat you up, you know, to tough you up
01:52
and then the new ones, you would try to comfort them because
01:56
they were going through the same thing.
01:57
You just had gone through yourself.
02:00
So it was, um, just, um, it was learning, learning to, to cope
02:06
with, you know, the craziness.
02:10
It was all, it was all boys.
02:11
I mean, no, no girls, just boys.
02:14
I would imagine it would be tough to make friends in that kind
02:16
of environment where you don't know who's coming, who's going
02:21
It was, it was hard to make friends because first you come in
02:24
and, you know, as I said, it's a normal, normal reaction.
02:27
The ones that have been there long, they gonna beat you up,
02:29
make fun of you, blah, blah, blah.
02:31
You know, that's how they cope with their issue.
02:35
And so you're not becoming friends with them and then the youngest
02:39
ones that come in, they're not in a position to make friends
02:43
they're just asking for their mama and papa and na na, so I
02:47
I'm not, yeah, I mean, I, I, to this day I have no connection
02:51
to anyone from the orphanage and there was about 300 kids there
02:55
I would imagine many of them are incarcerated.
02:58
Uh, maybe not no longer with us.
03:02
Um, because at 18 they just, you're out, here's $100 and out
03:09
out where, you know, so, you know, II, I, yeah, I don't have
03:14
any friends come there.
03:17
But I don't, my brother who was there too.
03:20
So I guess was your brother the same period?
03:23
He was there at the same period where a year apart and he was
03:27
my older brother and he was there too.
03:29
So, but we, we drifted because she ended up crying all the time
03:34
and I didn't like that, you know.
03:36
So I, I ended up being the opposite.
03:40
I tough myself up and so I coped with it.
03:43
And so he went over there with the cried babies and I went over
03:45
here with the tough boys, you know, but we were all on the same
03:51
Sounds like it's uh a hell of a place to learn both ends, both
03:55
compassion and the need to, to toughen up.
03:58
No, it was a very tough place to try to find that balance of,
04:02
of you gotta toughen up or, and, and find the compassion for
04:06
those who are, I guess suffering.
04:09
You know, the new ones, you know, you could always see the pain
04:11
and the same feelings you went through when there was a new
04:14
kid that just came in.
04:15
The new guy, you know, uh, I took on the role of defending them
04:20
So I ended up fighting with the other kids because I didn't
04:23
like how they would.
04:24
I know it's just a, a defense mechanism for them as well.
04:28
Just, you know how they, how they were coping with their pain
04:30
to make fun of the other.
04:32
Uh But, you know, I ended up getting into a lot of fights for
04:35
trying to stop trying to stop that.
04:38
Perhaps I've been doing this too long.
04:40
But, but I see, I see certain parallels to the, the immigrant
04:45
journey in what you went through there.
04:48
You know, that's uh uh very vulnerable.
04:51
Uh You gotta toughen up very quickly.
04:54
Uh You gotta, you gotta look out for yourself, but at the same
04:58
time, you gotta be very compassionate to others that are going
05:01
through the same thing you are.
05:03
Yes, I mean, it's, it's very similar to what immigrants have
05:06
to deal with because they come into a new place and they don't
05:09
know anyone, no one knows them.
05:11
And you know, people beat you up, if not physically, verbally
05:15
or by the way, they treat you socially, you're not accepted
05:18
you know, that, that takes a toll on a person.
05:21
And so the immigrant has to fight real hard to, for a sense of
05:25
identity, a sense of pride.
05:27
Um But at the same time being surrounded by, you know, your
05:32
your compadres, you know, your, your fellow immigrants
05:36
were going through the same thing and, and you constantly
05:39
see their pain and, and it's hard.
05:42
You gotta, because you gotta toughen up.
05:43
It's like, look, uh we gotta get up tomorrow morning and go
05:45
to work and fight one more time and then you see your friends
05:51
in pain because of they, they left loved ones, kids wives and
05:56
the struggle can be very difficult, you know, to get up every
05:59
morning and get beat up verbally or physically.
06:04
It's, it's a tough situation.
06:05
You know what I mean?
06:06
And they're just trying to work, they're just trying to work
06:08
That's all they want.
06:08
You know, that's, people can criticize them all they want
06:12
but you have to respect and admire the fight in them.
06:19
Most people would give up.
06:21
They get up, they go through rivers, mountains walls.
06:26
I'll take the $6 an hour, 14, 16 hours a day picking fruit or
06:35
That's, that, that, that, that I think that should be.
06:39
There's a sense of admiration and respect.
06:42
Most people won't do that.
06:43
Can't do that and they do it.
06:47
And with no safety net now many people think, oh, they come
06:51
here to take uh social services and, uh, no, no, no.
06:58
So, no, no, no safety net.
07:00
And, and it's been my experience that they do it year in and
07:02
year out and I, you could hear one complaint have yet to one
07:08
immigrants don't complain too much.
07:10
They don't complain.
07:11
And they, they're not out there asking for pocket change.
07:15
They actually sell you something.
07:17
If it's not fruit, it's a blanket or a, or a little piggy bank
07:21
or, or something they created, I don't know, a guitar with
07:25
Or, or they sing you a song or, or they clean your window, uh
07:29
the, your, of the car, you know, can I clean the window?
07:32
Can I get, they offer a service in return for, you know, money
07:37
Not, not just give me money because I have nowhere to go.
07:42
Here's what I can offer you.
07:45
Would you pay me for it?
07:46
I mean, it's, it's, it's a struggle.
07:48
It's quite a tough life that they do that they have to, um, live
07:52
And what was your immigrant journey?
07:55
Tell me how you found out that you were coming to the US.
07:58
Um, well, I reconnected with my biological mother and then
08:04
I found out I had relatives in the States.
08:06
And so I said, well, I, maybe I should go visit them.
08:09
Who are these people?
08:11
Um, and how did you get, uh, she came back?
08:15
10 years later to see if we were still there.
08:17
We were, uh, yeah, she, I, I guess, you know, it was out of necessity
08:23
that she put her kids and her finish.
08:24
You know, it's not because she had some addiction to something
08:28
or it was just financial reasons.
08:30
And 10 years later, a half sister of hers offered help and said
08:34
you know, let's go and see if they're there and they can stay
08:37
with me or I can help.
08:39
So we were still there.
08:40
And so we're like, we're connecting with these people and
08:43
then uh we ended up staying with her half sister.
08:46
Wait, hang on a second.
08:52
So you're in the orphanage.
08:53
You've never met your mom before.
08:56
Obviously, you don't, at least you don't remember.
08:59
And how did you get worried that your mom's there that she's
09:01
coming for you guys?
09:03
Well, when we went in, my brother was five, I was four.
09:06
So, so we did the first, the first early years we lived with
09:11
mom and dad, but that is, it was too early.
09:14
We were there at four or 5, 10 years later.
09:18
After that, my mother and a and a half sister of hers came, came
09:23
back to see if we're still there.
09:25
A lot of kids get adopted.
09:26
But uh but we didn't because we made a pact.
09:29
Me and my brother, we were two.
09:31
Nobody wants two for one.
09:34
Uh, I like him but wait, he comes.
09:39
So, we were still there and they asked us if we wanted to come
09:43
with them and, you know, I mean, the answer is obvious.
09:46
Um, but it wasn't a very clean transition.
09:49
It was quite a messy and we're meeting people.
09:53
And our, you know, our behavior, attitudes that me and my brother
09:57
have, it's so not easy to deal with, but I don't know, what would
10:03
And so it wasn't a good, um, I guess coming together and we would
10:09
stay with relatives but not, not for very long.
10:12
Eventually we ended up with my mother again, but she couldn't
10:18
You know, that was why we were there.
10:20
So I, we just ended up on our own again.
10:24
Uh, um, and I was here and I thought, well, I stay here.
10:30
Well, where else am I gonna go?
10:34
Uh, you were, you were in school at the time?
10:36
I later they put me in school, um, in junior high, which was
10:42
quite tough because my English was horrible and my, uh, attitude
10:50
So I was always getting in trouble.
10:52
Um, and I didn't do very good in school.
10:54
It was very hard to, I mean, I'm new.
10:57
Everybody speaks English.
10:58
I speak horrible English.
11:00
So everyone makes fun of me.
11:02
I don't know how to deal with.
11:03
All these people, there's girls around which I never seen
11:06
There was no girls, just the nuns and they didn't look like
11:09
So dude, that is such a recipe for disaster.
11:13
I mean, switching schools at that age is tough just going from
11:16
Santa Monica to West Hollywood in high school is tough, you
11:20
know, to go with the language issue.
11:22
The fact that you, you know, you didn't grow up around girls
11:25
and your orphanage, you didn't, that's, that's like putting
11:28
you on a different plane.
11:30
It was, it was, it was, it was quite, quite difficult that I
11:33
couldn't hang in school because my only defense mechanism
11:38
because I didn't have the verbal skills was to, to fight, hit
11:42
someone and I just was trying to defend myself, you know, because
11:46
you can't beat me up all the time by making fun of me, you know
11:50
and, and so I would cope by defending myself physically and
11:55
then I would end up in the principal's office and I, I was a problem
12:00
child and then they kicked me out and, and where am I gonna go
12:06
So, um, so you were a kid out of school?
12:08
Oh, a couple of times in junior high.
12:13
Then I attended high school and the same thing happened and
12:17
I attended sports because I'm like, oh, you know, I, but I was
12:20
just trying to be long like any kid I just wanted to be long and
12:24
I didn't know where the orphans were, where the section of
12:27
Like, where are they?
12:28
There's none of those, there's the punk kids, they're smart
12:30
kids, the artsy kids, the jocks, you know there were and I was
12:37
Did you just say I should just go back?
12:39
I mean, did I miss the orphanage?
12:45
That's a, that's a good question.
12:47
Uh I think I was happy to be out but I was very confused and lost
12:57
because at least the orphanage I knew I knew I got up, I did my
13:02
They fit me then I fought with so and so and we play soccer and
13:06
blah, blah, blah and boom again, the same thing the next day
13:10
So the routine was, gave me a sense of comfort but I, I don't
13:15
know if I, if I, if I would say that I missed it, I mean, I, I was
13:19
it was just, um, it was quite a confusing time.
13:26
Um but uh somehow, uh you know, someone upstairs was watching
13:32
over me, uh because I could have ended up in, you know, the road
13:37
has many turns and I saw them all, you know, and, but I was able
13:41
to make a quick u-turn every time.
13:43
Was there anyone in particular or a group of people in particular
13:46
that you can say were partly responsible or perhaps wholly
13:50
responsible for, you know, good, good question because there
13:56
is one person and up until now it's only known to myself.
14:02
Uh her name was uh Soledad Canales.
14:07
She was a friend of my mother and she was the first person that
14:13
I could feel as a child that treated us with unconditional
14:19
compassion and love and understanding, no finger pointing
14:25
This person was so nice to us.
14:27
She's no longer with us.
14:28
She died of cancer but she never knew it.
14:32
But her impact on me was humongous just like the work that you
14:38
do with this organization, you know, uh of filming people's
14:43
Uh The impact that those stories can have on one person watching
14:50
You can't measure that and that's exactly what this person
14:56
is in her family that treated me like we were family when we
15:00
weren't in my own family.
15:03
I was a problem child.
15:05
And, but, you know, everybody has their own issues.
15:07
They have to deal with their own kids and their own marriage
15:09
and their own struggles as a human being.
15:11
So I don't blame anyone but this single person in her family
15:16
was lovely to us and I'm forever grateful.
15:21
It's amazing how you still remember her in such wonderful
15:26
So many years later, she was so nice.
15:32
Uh So, you know, she was so nice.
15:35
Um invited us in to sleep in her home even though it was on the
15:39
floor or in the garage but it wasn't in a way that you would feel
15:43
uncomfortable and she would feed us.
15:50
Then, then a big mansion with, uh, coldness around.
15:54
No, no, no, I'll take the garage with love and, and, and, and
15:59
her kids would give me, she had older kids.
16:02
I would, they would give us their clothes.
16:04
So we have cool clothes now because his, his, his clothes were
16:10
Uh, and he wasn't bitter, you know, because you see kids can
16:14
react in a certain way.
16:15
Not intentional, but it's like, oh, there's new people in
16:18
my home and I don't know who they are and now I have to treat them
16:20
like they're my family when they're not.
16:22
No, even the kids, even her kids, the girls and the guys, I didn't
16:28
sense any bitterness.
16:30
It would befriend us and give us their shirt and their pants
16:34
and like, hey, these shoes, I'm not wearing them.
16:36
You, you take them, wow, they're, they're vans, these vans
16:42
So you put on the vans and then the shirt, whatever.
16:45
You know, they, because they had cool.
16:47
And so in a nice family, we see we won't eat them, we won't eat
16:52
But it's so, so at what point did you sort of make a connection
16:55
and think that maybe acting was something, was something
16:59
How did that come about?
17:02
I think the acting and the theater and the art itself found
17:07
me because I was really lost.
17:10
I didn't know what or where or how.
17:13
I was just working like an immigrant to feed myself and put
17:18
a roof over my head.
17:20
And I would take any job and I've done them all cleaning toilets
17:23
dishwashing, whatever you pay me.
17:27
Um, but I had, I guess this sense of, uh, this need to communicate
17:34
and I, I came across the works of these great playwrights,
17:40
Arthur Miller, Tennessee Williams Chekov and reading their
17:44
And I'm like, wow, this, this in one sentence, they just, mm
17:47
there's so much power and someone invited me to the theater
17:52
and I went in my, I guess my, I was very disconnected in my disconnectedness
18:04
or my lack of a better word.
18:06
I guess my being different was celebrated and not ridicule
18:14
And I was, I, I never felt that only in the theater are your differences
18:22
It's like what you wanna know about me really?
18:27
But where I grew up, who I am, who my parents?
18:32
Wow, nobody's ever asked those questions or even seem interested
18:37
So I, I felt at home and, and then I started working and the way
18:43
people would receive the work, I had never been embraced that
18:51
And, and it was great because I was learning about myself.
18:56
But at the same time, II, I was being used to tell a message of
19:03
whatever the scripted word was whatever the text was.
19:06
So I could do it because it wasn't me.
19:12
It was a wonderful balance of like I can do all these feelings
19:16
emotions, words and I can say all those things because it
19:20
No, no, but it is you.
19:23
And it was a wonderful sort of therapy without knowing that
19:29
it was because I ended up learning about human human beings
19:35
why we do the things we do.
19:37
And I, and, and I started not taking things so personal before
19:42
any, any time somebody would give me a look or a sort of tone
19:48
It was an attack and I had to defend myself and my sense of my
19:52
my sense of identity, I would automatically respond that
19:55
Like what that I had to learn that we all have problems within
20:01
And it isn't about the person in front of you so much as it is
20:07
what's going on inside you.
20:09
But I had the theater, I had to be there to learn that, to learn
20:15
about human beings and myself and what we do and why we do it
20:20
and how and how sometimes we do things uh that we don't mean
20:27
to do, you know, but somehow it gets out of our hands and later
20:34
we have to, I guess, leave the consequences of those choices
20:38
So, uh you know, that's why I'm still here.
20:41
Art has given me a sense of identity, a profession, a life a
20:49
it's how I support myself but I never watched TV.
20:54
I didn't know what an actor was.
20:58
I, you know, I, for me it was learning about myself to communicate
21:04
with other people without being so violent.
21:08
You know, understanding myself is and understanding those
21:12
other people around me through the words of these great playwrights
21:16
using whatever is going on inside me.
21:18
But hey, I didn't write it.
21:21
And how did you, I mean, what, what you share with me is a very
21:24
deep understanding, uh which, you know, you wouldn't expect
21:29
from a kid who's been bouncing around school.
21:31
There's no one in the theater in his family.
21:33
He gets introduced to the theater, you know, the playwright
21:36
that you just mentioned.
21:37
I mean, I, you know, the very best of the best.
21:41
How did you even get introduced into the theater?
21:43
How did you even happen to stumble upon the theater?
21:47
How I was doing music because music helped me.
21:51
I just liked music even though I wasn't very good.
21:54
Nobody, no one, no one could take it away from you.
21:57
I wanted something, no one could take away from you.
22:00
No one can take music away from you.
22:02
So you lose a CD, go buy it again and then you can sit in your room
22:07
with your music and no one will take that away.
22:11
So I enjoy music so much.
22:13
Because I felt it was mine and I attempted, you know, whatever
22:17
I, I was somewhat musical and I did a, a review of, of a musical
22:23
in San Diego that somebody saw and they enjoyed it, you know
22:27
and then some guy who was a theater guy asked me to come in to
22:32
read for a play and I asked him for the music.
22:35
No, no, there's no music.
22:38
I go but I need music.
22:41
I don't, II I don't know how to do that.
22:44
But he was, he insisted, he was so persistent and invited me
22:48
to the room of a room of actors to read this play.
22:52
My reading skills were first of all horrible.
22:57
But somehow my, no, no, no, nothing, nothing, nothing.
23:00
But this guy had a good eye and, and somehow my sensibilities
23:07
as a person reading that role just, just connected.
23:10
Well, so when I ended up doing that play, there was too much
23:15
about me connected already that yeah, I had to work on technical
23:19
things but the, the, the roots were there.
23:23
So the way it was received, it was wonderful.
23:27
But then later, I mean, of course, my, my, my lack of skills
23:31
would show when I would attempt things that so I ended up looking
23:36
for conservatories where I could learn, you know, because
23:40
I wanted to learn, I'm like, well, let me learn how to do this
23:44
But it was more an interest in the interest of learning or just
23:48
Just, I was just interested in it.
23:51
Um, and eventually you're gonna hear the name Arthur Miller
23:56
And it's like, who's that?
23:59
I didn't know who they were.
24:02
Well, let me go look and I just open it and just, you can just
24:05
read a couple sentences and then you go, what?
24:09
My God, you know, and then you, you, you attempt to, to do it
24:16
and you realize that.
24:17
Hm, there's a level of skills that you need here.
24:22
Where do I get them?
24:25
I had the humanity side.
24:26
I had the sensibilities that other people can go to the best
24:29
schools in the world and they can do it technically beautiful
24:33
It's like, wow, that was great.
24:35
I don't believe a thing you're doing.
24:39
II I already had that.
24:41
I just had to learn the skills.
24:44
But again, it was for myself just to learn about myself and
24:49
And 10 years ago, 2004, I auditioned for the Geffen Playhouse
24:58
They hire me and I thought, is that a mistake?
25:03
And then there were, it was an understudy which I was studying
25:08
They know I came from an orphanage.
25:10
I'm a high school dropout.
25:11
I'm a, you know how I drop out, I'm a drop out everything.
25:18
And I was like, did it did it feel like you were conning them
25:22
Did it feel like I really don't belong here all my life more
25:25
successful people feel that actually all my life it feels
25:28
that way I feel is that, are they gonna find me out?
25:32
It actually all my life feels that way.
25:34
And that's why I, I train myself as much as I can because I, I
25:41
hold on to the craft because I don't want him to find out because
25:45
if they do at least I can go.
25:47
But II I, I've been learning, I, I, I've been searching and
25:52
and I've been testing myself.
25:54
Don't take this away from me.
25:58
I feel like I've been cunning people because in my earlier
26:02
years I, that's what, how I got jobs.
26:05
I ended up being a chef when I knew nothing about cooking.
26:08
But I had, I needed a job.
26:10
So I told him I worked there, I worked there and I give me a pan
26:14
and I put butter and smoke comes out and I look like I know what
26:17
I throw mushrooms in there.
26:19
Who, so I just throw more stuff.
26:20
So it does more noise and more smoke.
26:23
But eventually I got fired because the plates were coming
26:28
Um But no, no, I, I, you know, but you weren't afraid to give
26:31
Oh, III, I just had to, I mean, I, you know, it was a job opening
26:36
I'm gonna go try, you know?
26:38
So, and, and, and while you were learning the craft, I imagine
26:42
you were doing all kinds of odd jobs and stuff.
26:46
I had a lot of jobs, uh, uh, when I was, uh, at San Diego State
26:50
I looked like I was a student because I was in area but I actually
26:53
was a janitor at night but nobody saw me because nobody's around
26:58
So I would clean the toilets of all the, the campus, you know
27:02
Uh, but in the daytime I look cool.
27:04
Like I was one of them, you know, because I was taking some classes
27:07
But they were, there's a way to take classes there.
27:11
There's a, a different book that you can take classes, you
27:13
pay more and you're not quite a student of the university.
27:20
So, yeah, so that's what I was doing.
27:25
And I was, uh, doing a, a student body.
27:28
I mean, you're probably that age.
27:29
I was, I was like the, uh, 25 24 you know, I mean, so, yes.
27:35
No, no, I mean, I did a lot of jobs.
27:37
I, I, the, the restaurant business, you know, like a lot of
27:40
people, you know, they, that's a great industry because you
27:44
There's a lot of restaurants that you can go if you're good
27:47
if you're a good worker.
27:50
Uh, there's a lot of jobs and, um, I have found jobs there and
27:54
I got very good at that, you know.
27:55
I mean, again, iii, I grab books about wine and I, I read so much
28:01
about wine just so that I, I was trying to overcompensate for
28:04
my lack of, um, education, my lack of upbringing.
28:11
So when people would be relaxing I'd be at home reading like
28:15
eight books about every grape in the world because I didn't
28:20
want, I want them to find out, find me out, you know, and when
28:25
they did, I wanted to defend myself.
28:29
And it was another great person that gave me an opportunity
28:33
a at a restaurant when, when I was at arts because for a while
28:40
my permission to stay here had run out and I wasn't supposed
28:44
to be here, but I didn't know where to go and I couldn't get jobs
28:48
So it was very difficult.
28:49
I, so I really know what an immigrant goes through even though
28:52
some people, you know, uh the perception, I guess it would
28:56
be physically, I don't appear to be like them, but I was just
29:03
I, yeah, the same problem they have, they have, they had and
29:09
uh it was tough to, to navigate that.
29:13
And uh one wonderful person that gave me a green light even
29:18
though she knew he called me into the office.
29:23
And I said, oh, my God.
29:24
Just like you were asking.
29:25
Uh, are you, uh, are you afraid to be found out?
29:29
I was found out before other, um, I guess, um, when, when that
29:38
would come up, other times I would quit beforehand.
29:42
So I always look like I, I would look like I, I, I'm leaving.
29:46
I got better things to do.
29:48
No, I'm unemployed again because they found me out.
29:53
And, uh, II, I feel like I was running and I was at, I was like
30:01
I'm like, what do I do?
30:03
I can't go back to the orange that won't take me in.
30:07
I don't know where to go over there because I was in an orphanage
30:11
I mean, I could go, I guess I could just go to TJ and I don't know
30:17
Uh, they really don't.
30:20
And I was here and I'm like, and it's not like I was like a smart
30:24
studious person like, you know, you, you, there's a lot of
30:27
people that don't have uh I guess the legal documentation
30:30
but they have the studies.
30:33
I mean, they're very smart.
30:34
They, they're gifted people that have used school to the best
30:38
the best of their abilities and, and they have master degrees
30:42
and they're not able to practice in that field.
30:46
So I didn't have that.
30:47
I didn't have, I was in studios and I couldn't say well, No,
30:52
Um, this person called me into the office and she looked me
30:58
right in the eye and right in, right, right in the eyes and,
31:08
I had only seen it once before with Soledad Canales.
31:11
This was the second time in my life when somebody looks me right
31:14
in the eyes and tells me, don't worry about it.
31:20
I know what you're going to.
31:22
I will do what I can't, to steer it elsewhere.
31:29
I won't let it get to you as my, I'll do whatever I can to prolong
31:41
And I always couldn't believe it.
31:45
That person also doesn't know the impact that, that had in
31:50
me because two days later I was gonna pack and go to Tijuana
31:55
where, I don't know.
32:00
But that person telling me that I could come back the next day
32:06
It's, I, it's what the immigrant, it's a green light.
32:11
You know, it doesn't take that much to give somebody a green
32:18
Just give them a green light.
32:19
You know, I know, I know there's the legalities of it and the
32:23
politics of it and the, let's just put that aside.
32:28
Just be a human being for once.
32:33
And, and so I'm, I'm big on green lights.
32:35
II, I see someone I give green lights because people gave me
32:39
the green light to be here and now I'm here, the profession
32:43
I have the opportunities I have I'm so grateful and I'm for
32:47
and fortunate, but it would have never happened if it wasn't
32:55
for those key people that had given me green lights for me to
33:01
You know, immigrants take a beating, they take a beating people
33:05
Look, look, look at them and, and, and there's a look of not
33:12
hate but not of love, not of compassion.
33:18
That's a human being right there.
33:21
That right, there was somebody's child at one point now, they're
33:25
an adult and look at them, they're just trying to make a living
33:29
That's all they're doing.
33:33
They have the same feelings you have, they love, they need
33:38
they laugh, maybe not as often as you, but they do laugh sometimes
33:47
And yeah, you know, one of the things that we, we, we struggle
33:59
with and this is just a part of the, the history of our country
34:04
You'll see one immigrant wave come in.
34:06
They inevitably are met with a lot of resistance.
34:09
But then as they begin to assimilate their Children or their
34:13
grandchildren disassociate from that experience and become
34:17
the oppressors of the next immigrant waiter, you know, so
34:22
part of what we're trying to do with this project is how do we
34:25
How do we keep the Children and grandchildren of Latino immigrants
34:31
from being those people a generation or two from now?
34:37
It's a difficult difficult task.
34:39
But I think your project I think is the Immigrant Archive project
34:45
it's making steps towards that end result because a lot of
34:51
kids don't even speak the language.
34:55
They forget the language.
34:58
I don't blame them that much because they're, they're also
35:00
trying to defend themselves.
35:02
They're trying to be long, you know, they, they, they have
35:05
the name, you know, because, you know, they go to school and
35:08
there's a point, the finger pointing and they're ridiculing
35:10
and so you wanna, you know, speak English and, but the language
35:15
is important to, to, to, to stay connected to that compassion
35:20
It's so important, you know.
35:22
Uh because too often we lose sight of the fact that we're blessed
35:29
by so many breaks or we're cursed by so many breaks.
35:34
I, I sense that, that, that your Children and their Children
35:38
will have it far easier than you've had it.
35:42
I look at my own daughters, they've lived their life that doesn't
35:46
begin to look anything like the life I've led and is the equivalent
35:50
of living on another planet compared to their grandparents
35:54
Uh But it all has to go back to that.
35:57
They need to understand that they came from that, you know
36:01
and that they need to be thankful for the sacrifices of so
36:06
And it's when we lose sight of it and we think that everybody
36:08
else, you know, lives in Beverly Hills or drive a fancy car
36:12
or take vacations whenever they want.
36:15
Uh, or, or because they do drive a fancy car or live in a fancy
36:19
home, the assumption that they always had or that they're
36:23
better than someone that doesn't drive a fancy car or, you
36:27
know, because everybody's entitled to those things.
36:30
If you work for them, if, if you work for them.
36:33
Some people, they, they were born into it and that's ok.
36:37
But a lot of people have worked for it very hard and they deserve
36:41
those things too if they want them.
36:42
I mean, they're not important, you know, they're just, but
36:46
it's, but, but it's important that, that, that, that credit
36:49
and respect be given to the work that went into acquiring that
36:53
and not having the Children or grandchildren take it for granted
36:57
I understand that a lot of work and sacrifice wouldn't be getting
37:01
That's, that's how I feel.
37:03
I, I guess that the responsibility of the parents, you know
37:06
I, I, it's a big responsibility because there will be resistance
37:10
from the kids normal.
37:12
They're growing up, they want their own sense of identity
37:14
Cool kids, blah, blah, blah.
37:17
It's, I mean, right now I speak to my little girl only in Spanish
37:21
because I tell her that I don't speak English.
37:24
That's my only way of doing it.
37:26
And when she wants something, she has to force herself to ask
37:30
me in Spanish because I go, uh, Papa don't, don't, don't speak
37:34
I'm sorry, Mama, because she's already losing it.
37:40
But if she goes to school all English.
37:45
So, but then she hears me speak English and goes papa.
37:50
I heard you speak English.
37:54
Oh, my God, I'm learning.
37:55
So it's, it's, it's a big responsibility of us to, to let our
37:59
Children know that there was a struggle before them.
38:03
So they understand what immigrants go through.
38:09
You know, the, the sacrifices that they made so that they can
38:13
have a better life, which they will, you know, my Children
38:16
will have a better life.
38:18
But I hope they, they also retain a sense of compassion and
38:24
understanding for the new people who come the new immigrants
38:28
I don't want them standing on the other side of the street with
38:31
the banners saying, well, I'm an American citizen.
38:35
What are you doing here?
38:36
Get it like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa daddy
38:40
wasn't an American citizen, you know, I was damned so be careful
38:46
So, so it's a tough job, you know, it's uh but this, this, these
38:50
stories that you capture with this wonderful project which
38:56
the feeling I got when I was first introduced to it at this dinner
39:01
I was in the back of the room and my mouth was open.
39:05
I was like, how cool is that?
39:11
Because we need role models.
39:13
We need people like ourselves up there so that we can in turn
39:19
feel like we can do that too, you know, and we also need that
39:25
not just for us as a community, but we also need that to show
39:29
those who aren't members of our community that we're just
39:31
like them, that we're no different.
39:33
We have the same dreams and aspirations.
39:36
We have the same love of family.
39:37
We have the same struggle.
39:39
We may look a little different.
39:40
We may sound a little different.
39:42
We may be a little louder.
39:43
Yeah, it's the same.
39:45
We want the same, we want to happiness, we want peace, we want
39:50
to, you know, give our Children a good life and we wanna enjoy
39:54
You know, life is short.
39:55
We'll be out of here soon.
39:56
All of us, you know, we just have to leave it.
40:00
Yeah, we need to be more compassionate to, to, to those who
40:04
are different, you know, those who are different than us.
40:06
You know, because sometimes even our own race will discriminate
40:10
against our own race because they're darker than us.
40:15
They're shorter than us.
40:16
They're not educated.
40:18
It's like, you know, we do the same.
40:20
It's just a, it's a cycle, you know, I mean, it's part of the
40:23
human condition that needs to be exercise, I think.
40:29
And I think uh art, it's a tool that can do that.
40:33
Art, art does that like music, music is universal.
40:37
Like music can open doors, art can open doors, the theater
40:42
and music and, and, and all those things.
40:45
Art has a way of bringing people's, of all backgrounds and
40:54
Art is, I think it's a beautiful thing.
40:57
It, it, it's, it's been for me and, and my best friends are people
41:04
of the theater, not because I know them so long or because we
41:08
hang out all the time.
41:09
It's the compassion that they have for humanity.
41:15
People who are artistic or, or, or their eyes are open to art
41:20
and they, they have a sense of.
41:26
It's, it's a, it's a, it's a beautiful thing.
41:29
It's a, you know, but to be exposed to that because many people
41:32
So most people are not.
41:35
So, for me, the key was that I was able to be exposed to them whether
41:42
by accident or however it happened, it happened because most
41:46
people are not, a lot of immigrants have no idea, no idea.
41:54
They don't know anything.
41:55
And there's no time for that.
41:58
There, it's time people are working two full time jobs but
42:02
you can spend money to go to the theater as important as it is
42:05
But it's not, you know, you gotta feed, you gotta feed your
42:12
But getting back to your point about, about, about art, um
42:16
it's what makes us human.
42:19
It's what separates us from the rest of the animals.
42:21
The other animals can't create art.
42:23
That's what makes us human.
42:24
You know, and sometimes it gets defunded and they don't take
42:27
And, you know, it's, it's, it's looked upon as something frivolous
42:31
Uh, and it's at the very core of our humanity.
42:34
I mean, art and even when it's bad it's good because not all
42:39
I mean, it's so subjective but what it is is a form of expression
42:43
That person is learning to express themselves.
42:45
These are the beginning steps.
42:48
It's like learning to speak.
42:49
So when you're hungry, you know, it's like it doesn't have
42:52
to be the best meal.
42:53
But if you're hungry it's still ok, it's good.
42:58
I mean, it's, it's, you're right.
43:00
I mean, art is not available to everyone because people have
43:02
to work and feed their families.
43:04
Uh, but the more we can make it available to them, it enriches
43:10
Um, it helps you learn to express yourself in ways that you're
43:18
So because of your story because of the life you live.
43:24
You know, I mean, you know, I mean, I mean, those people have
43:30
I mean, just, just ask a couple questions if, if, if they're
43:33
willing to answer them.
43:36
I mean, you just go, wait, you left your whole family to come
43:43
here and sell oranges.
43:48
And how long did it take you?
43:49
02 weeks, two weeks, my God, I mean, and, and where did you sleep
43:59
And just, just, just, and, and, and, but they, but they still
44:04
My God, the strength in these people to get up and do it.
44:10
And that's another reason why we started the project.
44:13
We also felt that mainstream America could really learn rather
44:20
than, rather than, rather than vilifying us.
44:24
If they could take a page from our playbook, you know, they
44:28
can see how in one generation a family comes over.
44:32
Father sells oranges on a street corner and his kid winds up
44:36
graduating from law school and wanders on every block.
44:40
You have to go very far.
44:41
I guarantee you, you can find some guys that are busy, you know
44:45
uh uh maintaining the grounds here whose kids are in a very
44:49
good college right now.
44:51
You know, and you don't see that too often in mainstream America
44:54
where family will make that exponentially jump in one generation
44:59
So they need to learn from us.
45:00
I think the country needs to learn from us.
45:01
That's a very good point.
45:03
In one generation, the, the change that happens is huge.
45:08
This person is willing to take three jobs and, and walk and
45:12
and ride a bicycle to work and, and, and not have any leisure
45:17
activities for them so that their kids can have a better life
45:21
And then those kids graduate from some of the best schools
45:26
But if these kids were not given that opportunity.
45:29
That would have never happened.
45:31
You judge them as dumb kids.
45:34
All they need is the opportunity to read the books just like
45:38
And there you will realize they're not dumb at all.
45:41
They're, I mean, yeah.
45:44
In one generation, the differences that can happen, which
45:47
which speaks volumes of the immigrant and speaks volumes
45:54
This is one of the few countries where that can happen.
45:56
And that's the reason why we're such AAA magnet for so many
46:04
I think it could only happen in this country.
46:05
I think I can, I mean, again, I'm no politician.
46:07
I don't have the data to say it, you know, factually, but I think
46:11
it can only happen here because it happens all the time.
46:15
You know, uh in other countries is not as easy, is not here.
46:22
Yes, you will struggle and you will work very hard and you will
46:25
endure very bad times.
46:30
But there is light at the end of the tunnel because there's
46:33
a lot of examples of many successful people who their parents
46:37
were immigrants and had nothing but they worked so hard so
46:42
that their Children would have an opportunity.
46:44
And now they're, these Children are pillars of society.
46:49
If they're not judges, they're great attorneys, they're
46:52
great professors, they're great artists.
46:55
They, they, they, they have a lot to offer to humanity, to society
47:01
and we would have never seen that if you don't give them that
47:04
So this country provides, you know, those channels, those
47:11
avenues, it will be hard, but you have to endure it and you will
47:16
succeed, you will succeed.
47:18
I mean, you know, I love the United States for allowing me to
47:22
stay even though they didn't want me at first.
47:28
You know, I had to do a lot of work and, you know, and eventually
47:31
like, just let him stay, he's not gonna go anywhere.
47:37
He said, look, he's not stealing, you know, he's, you know
47:40
he is fine, let him stay, you know, looking, looking back
47:44
uh what would you say you the proudest of uh Yeah, it is, it
47:57
is a tough question because I, I don't know, there's many sides
48:05
to that, but I will have to say that my proudest accomplishments
48:22
or feelings come from being a AAA father to my Children to give
48:34
them that love and compassion that I so wanted myself.
48:39
But I, it wasn't around.
48:41
I didn't and I could have just turned the other way and been
48:45
a bitter kid and, and because no one gave it to me, then I'm not
48:48
gonna give it to anyone and just be a dead be that and just, you
48:51
know, because it's an, it, it's what you expect.
48:54
It's what happens is it's that chain reaction and it continues
48:57
on and I I, and, and it takes awareness for you to be able to,
49:02
to change it and say, wait, I can do that.
49:06
I can do the opposite.
49:08
And, and so my Children to, to love my Children to, to just,
49:16
I mean, II, I think I get my wife makes fun of me because I, I just
49:22
I'm always hugging and kissing my little girl and I just go
49:26
II, I just, why not, why not?
49:29
You know, why, you know, I know one day she's gonna push me off
49:36
You know, because, you know, but being given the opportunity
49:40
to be a father to me is my biggest challenge and the biggest
49:46
struggle because I have struggle also.
49:47
I would, you know, my own little demons inside that I have to
49:52
like, quiet down and go.
49:56
Um, I'm overcompensating for what wasn't around because
50:03
I, I know what it was like to be a child and, and, and needing
50:08
some sort of sense of, uh, just compassion, love.
50:14
I mean, or someone patting you on the back and I think I would
50:18
have done really good in school if I had someone who would have
50:21
asked me for my grades.
50:22
Can I see your grades?
50:25
Or, or, you know, I play sports and, and no one ever came.
50:30
So I eventually quit because I was doing it because I wanted
50:33
someone to come and tell me you're good.
50:37
You know, so I know one's coming.
50:41
Uh So, you know, my proudest moment is, is being a dad and, and
50:49
loving my child and making sure that she grows, grows up to
50:53
be a AAA strong, smart, loving, fun, compassionate human
51:02
being that will help others when she's able to.
51:13
It make you wait for it, but they give it to you.
51:17
It doesn't always happen.
51:19
No, no, it doesn't happen.
51:22
You know, they, they gave it to me.
51:24
I have to lie a lot of times but sometimes you have to lie.
51:29
I look, I don't want to but you're making me lie.
51:37
Um, no, I'm very fortunate.
51:39
I'm extremely, I mean, I was in an orphanage in te for 10 years
51:43
I didn't even think I'm, I, I, I'd be around after 18.
51:47
I mean, I didn't want to turn 18.
51:49
Everybody wants to turn 18.
51:50
I didn't want to because they're gonna give me $100 and tell
51:52
me to leave, leave where, you know, so I didn't wanna turn 18
51:59
But then, um, so no, I'm extremely fortunate grateful that
52:03
uh the universe God, life art has given me a green light to cross
52:09
the street and I done my work so that I can stick around and what's
52:16
What's, what's, what's, and you've done film, you've done
52:19
television, you've done stage, seem like stage is a real thing
52:25
It's wonderful because the writing is so much better.
52:28
Uh One of my proudest moment was doing uh uh the Seagull uh checkout
52:32
playing Constantine, which is this kid who, who, who has this
52:37
grand idea, but he can't communicate it.
52:40
Nobody understands him.
52:42
So, you know, it was beautiful but a beautiful experience
52:45
Um But I, I enjoy my job, whether it's TV, film stage, you know
52:52
after all, it is a job.
52:54
You know, it's not always a wonderful day at the office.
52:59
Sometimes people think it is.
53:00
No, no, no, sometimes it isn't.
53:05
That's how I provide for my family.
53:07
So, you know, uh even jobs that, um, I'm not too crazy about
53:12
I will accept, uh what's next for me.
53:14
There's a couple of things up in the air, you know, a couple
53:16
of projects that they need to materialize.
53:19
They spend a lot of time in the air.
53:20
You know, it's like, uh, you know, things change so much in
53:23
this, in this profession that you don't know.
53:25
But I love that too.
53:26
I like, I like the uncertainty.
53:28
I lived in uncertainty all my childhood that I hated it, then
53:36
There was nothing I knew for sure whether I was gonna eat or
53:40
sleep or whatever and I hated it.
53:43
I just needed something certain and that, well, the music
53:46
was certain I could go home to my CD, my Javier Solis Jose Jose
53:52
Oh Jose Jose, what I, oh am I am?
53:57
II, I love that man.
53:59
The, the pain in his voice and the way he, he sang those songs
54:04
I mean, my God, he is a beast.
54:10
It's unbelievable what he, what he went through.
54:12
You know, the people that took away from him and abused him
54:17
He was living in the back of an abandoned car with and somebody
54:23
saved him and then he met the nurse and to be, but he's given
54:29
us so much joy, joy, so much joy and love and that man deserves
54:34
oh, he's oh my God, Jose.
54:39
I mean to listen to him and I would listen to him for hours, I
54:44
mean hours, the same song.
54:55
Everything I, his music used to give me even though I could
55:00
sense a pain in his voice.
55:02
And then it would give me some sort of comfort because I, my
55:09
I have my C DS, my, my and I have every single one of them.
55:14
So, so, you know, back to my point that the uncertainty I didn't
55:18
have then I now relish it as an adult because it means so much
55:27
You know, every time you step into a role, it's supposed to
55:31
be the, the feeling is supposed to be for the first time.
55:34
So the uncertainty has to exist, you know, if it feels like
55:38
you know, some mechanical thing that's like, no, no, no.
55:40
This person is going through this the first time.
55:44
You know, even though you do it for many takes don't lose the
55:46
first time feeling because that's what people are gonna identify
55:50
That uncertainty of what will happen.
55:53
Or what will you say next?
55:55
Even though, you know, but you don't know that it's, it's,
55:59
uh now that uncertainty, I, I, I, I hold it dearly.
56:09
If you could give a piece of advice, if you could speak directly
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to a 10 year old boy just arriving in the US for the first time
56:21
knowing what, you know.
56:22
Now, what would you say to that boy?
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The first thing I would do is whatever it would take to make
56:35
Even if I have to get on my head or whatever, I have to act like
56:41
a clown or whatever.
56:42
I wanna see that child smile, a genuine smile.
56:46
So that's the first thing I wanna do once he smiles.
56:53
II, I don't know if his parents would let me, I would hug him
56:57
if not just high five.
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I want to feel that connection with him and I want him to feel
57:05
it with me as a human being.
57:07
Even though we don't know each other right now, we're sharing
57:10
each other's lives even though it might be 20 seconds.
57:13
This moment might mean a lot to you or may not.
57:16
I don't know, but I'll do what I can so that it has an impact in
57:24
II, I don't, um, consider myself, uh, an expert on anything
57:38
So I, I'm not sure what I would say to him because my life is not
57:47
I'm still in the ring and I'm, I'm taking some punches and I'm
57:52
But the bell, nobody's rang the bell yet.
57:55
So I don't know what I could say to him.
57:59
What do you wish they would have said to you upon arrival?
58:01
What do you wish you would have known?
58:03
What do you wish you would have known then that perhaps, you
58:06
know, now an older smarter version of you more seasoned version
58:10
of you or like that little boy to know, I wish somebody would
58:16
have told me we like you, we like we like it when you're around
58:27
So come around more often, just feeling welcomed, just, just
58:33
the green light, just, just opening the door so that you feel
58:38
like you belong, you know, so I guess I would tell that child
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you know, you are someone you may not know who you are now.
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But I hope that one day you do know that you are someone what
58:55
I don't know but you are someone that has to count for something
59:01
The rest is up to you whatever your aspirations become as an
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adult sports, um school, uh art.
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I don't know, but never forget that you are someone and you
59:17
can make an impact on the life of others.
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