00:00
I don't wanna be in a relationship where I don't feel myself
00:04
and for me to feel like myself, I have to be secure.
00:07
A would you get back with a partner that cheated on you once
00:11
you lose that trust, what are you supposed to do if the relationship
00:18
is the right relationship?
00:19
I don't think that it's work.
00:21
How are you balancing motherhood with, with work?
00:23
I wanna stay home with her and just be home and be a mom.
00:27
But who can afford that?
00:28
You know, my biggest, biggest, biggest dream is to be a mom
00:32
is to be like at home.
00:33
I have never had that feeling.
00:35
I told my husband once I was like, I'm just gonna tell your mom
00:38
at one point that maybe, maybe I just can't have kids.
00:42
Friends will come and go, guys will come and go.
00:45
But I only look at myself in the mirror and I have to wake up to
00:48
her and I have to go to bed to her.
00:49
So she's the person.
01:08
We're back with another episode of Girl.
01:10
Let me tell you and we are back with our host, guest host Chelsea
01:18
We loved your energy.
01:19
We brought you back.
01:20
Of course, I love it.
01:21
I'm here all the time whenever you need me.
01:24
I, I suck at winking.
01:26
I'm sorry, my best friend, like she does the cutest little
01:29
She does a whole little like, yeah, my winks always look like
01:31
and I can't, I look weird.
01:34
Well, we just wanna say thank you for being back here.
01:36
Honestly, let's just all wink like the camera, I think.
01:41
To the camera versus to each other because we'll be able to
01:43
say I'll start, I'll start.
01:50
00 a little, that's like a little does it.
01:54
That's what I'm saying.
01:56
I'm gonna try to channel my inner Monica.
02:00
Oh Why is it that I could do it as my friend?
02:05
But I can't do it as me an actress.
02:08
Oh dude, that's why, that's why.
02:10
All right guys, we're gonna get into what's in your feed.
02:12
This is something that we've been seeing.
02:13
These are topics that we constantly see on social media or
02:15
on our feed right now.
02:17
The big one being the new Kim Kardashian skims bra that has
02:22
the, the nipple in it.
02:24
You guys know what I'm talking about it.
02:26
It has gone completely for those of you guys who don't know
02:28
Kim Kardashian released this bra on her skins.
02:31
This video went viral and it's a bra that you can see.
02:35
Basically they had, she had like fake nipples on there.
02:38
So they're not yours but they peek through the bra.
02:41
Um just before we get into the Pros and cons right now, what
02:45
are you guys initial thoughts when you guys initial thoughts
02:48
I saw and I was honestly, I was confused.
02:51
I was like, wait, what?
02:52
Because my mom, she has always been like, if, if I'm not wearing
02:55
a bra, she's like to it to gracie and I'm like, I'm going to mom
02:58
I should I wear the shirt or not, but she's always like to,
03:01
to gracie to cover your nipples.
03:03
So I was just confused.
03:04
I didn't have any opinion yet.
03:06
But then one of my friends said it to me, it was like, thank God
03:09
I can't wait to try it because she doesn't have, oh she has nipples
03:13
but she didn't have like she doesn't have like nipples like
03:14
that like that like, so she's never cold.
03:17
So it just not, not, you know, I don't know.
03:19
So, you know, I I thought it was like, what did you like?
03:23
What did you think for you?
03:23
Did you think initially?
03:24
Oh This is something that I'm actually down to buy or I thought
03:27
like I don't need it because I ha I have it already kind of thing
03:30
I'm like, I'm sorry, but like my nipples are my nipples.
03:33
I don't need the world to see it.
03:35
Like I won't get naked for TV yet.
03:37
So like, why am I gonna wear a shirt that looks fake nipple?
03:40
Like I'm saying like, like having a body double.
03:44
II I completely agree with you 100% off that.
03:49
I was like, I would never wear this.
03:52
Like I would never buy it.
03:53
I understand the sentiment and there is a pro to this.
03:55
So like the big pro that a lot of people are pretty much arguing
03:57
online is that it's first off meant for Shock Factor.
04:00
A lot of what celebrities do is for Shock Factor.
04:04
There's the sex appeal aspect of it and it's helpful for those
04:07
that maybe have suffered from breast cancer or maybe mastectomies
04:11
or things of that nature.
04:11
It's a beautiful thing I think.
04:13
Yeah, that's, that, that completely makes sense again.
04:15
Like I haven't experienced that.
04:16
So I don't know if, if, if there was an insert where somebody
04:21
is like, if they wanted to have a bra that here, if you want this
04:24
insert, then it's supporting that community.
04:27
But like the fact that you just have it out there.
04:29
Like I'm sorry, especially because it's Kim K you just want
04:33
She wants to be talked about this is what we're, we're talking
04:36
You know what I mean?
04:36
Like she, she stays being talked about that is her job.
04:40
Her job is to keep us talking about her Kris Jenner is amazing
04:44
I, I really like the family but they are amazing business people
04:48
and look what are we doing?
04:49
We're talking about it.
04:51
But is it something that I think the majority of the US E USA
04:55
women or, or even around the world are gonna look at and be like
04:57
I want that, I don't think that the majority, I think this
05:00
is when you talk about around the world it's different because
05:02
in Europe it's very different.
05:03
You know what I mean?
05:04
Like, you don't think about like old school TV.
05:06
Like you would see girls with their nipples out.
05:08
You know what I now, like young girls, like they don't wear
05:11
bra, like, they don't, like, they don't have to, they don't
05:14
It's like, why for what?
05:18
I prefer models for young girls.
05:20
Like it just so there's a difference being a, is for support
05:24
people like I have boots and it hurts if they are not supported
05:29
But now people make it fashion and like, I'm all about freedom
05:32
People have the choice to show it or not but don't make it, like
05:37
just because you wanna be, you know what I mean?
05:41
I mean, it's not for me, I don't think it's gonna be for a lot
05:43
of girls but it might be for some girls.
05:44
I didn't even know that was like, I know it's a thing but I didn't
05:46
know it was a thing to the point of where they're gonna release
05:50
Like, but maybe that's what she's trying to do because she
05:53
She, she always, she's always on top of, she's always on top
05:56
of shit and she's always, yeah, I probably won't jump on that
06:00
Another thing that's been taking over social media, which
06:03
I don't know why I'm doing the intro for this particular.
06:12
I am disgusted by this.
06:14
So I will let you know, apparently there is a big boom right
06:18
now for period facials, which is literally getting the blood
06:23
that comes out of your body for women and people with, you know
06:26
this stuff and putting it on your face and apparently it's
06:30
like really good and packed with nutrients and it makes your
06:34
And I think this is mainly like influencers are saying this
06:36
you know what I mean?
06:37
Because dermatologists are actually saying that there's
06:40
no proven benefits and it can actually be unsafe because the
06:44
red blood cells are like pro uh inflammatory.
06:48
It may make skin worse.
06:50
But like, I feel like that's the problem with social media
06:53
Like I remember during the pandemic, everybody started drinking
06:55
bleach because that was supposedly on the phone, you know
06:59
So like the pods or whatever and like that was gonna help you
07:01
So it's like this is something that like if enough people talk
07:04
about it and say that it's good, people will do it even if it's
07:08
I mean, I have a theory that, you know, there's no, there's
07:12
pr P pr P is vampire facial where they take the blood out and
07:16
then the doctor takes the plasma in the machine in it, on your
07:22
This is the, the 399 version of it, you know, like maybe you
07:26
don't need what I'm trying to specify is there is a different
07:30
thing from the blood going in your body which is gonna actually
07:34
do something inside.
07:35
You know what I mean?
07:36
Like you have to inject or ingest and then it does its job.
07:41
You can't just wipe shit on your skin.
07:42
It's not gonna do anything.
07:44
So like this is a free 99 thing, but there's a big difference
07:48
between it getting injected to actually being able to activate
07:52
the things versus just like put it on top.
07:54
I would like filters in Instagram.
07:59
I would just like serious scientific studies on like before
08:03
I need the before and after.
08:04
Yeah, I mean, I am never gonna just jump on a trend just because
08:07
the whole entire world is doing it.
08:09
Let me just do this, it so to me and again, like, sorry if y'all
08:12
watching this and you do this, but it just sounds so like I personally
08:15
like my body can't handle it.
08:17
Like I would literally die and and then also pr P is regular
08:20
blood, not period blood.
08:22
But like, technically, if you have a partner that goes down
08:26
on you while you're on your period, then it's a period facial
08:29
So, like I would ask people that do that, like, have they seen
08:35
You know what I mean?
08:35
Because, like, I don't do that or I don't, I don't agree with
08:38
that thing, but some people might, some people like period
08:41
sex a lot, you know what I mean?
08:42
So maybe they like period oral sex, which could be the reason
08:46
why this came about in the first place.
08:48
I'm honestly we gotta wrap it up after that.
08:51
Yeah, we'll wrap it up.
08:53
Look if you guys have done it, leave a comment below.
08:55
I would love to know what kind of specifically because I facial
09:00
facial Chelsea is talking about just comment about that or
09:02
just like in general, wait, is this happening in dermatologists
09:05
Like is this happening professionally or are women just doing
09:07
it in their bathroom house?
09:09
I know I just said some crazy shit.
09:10
And so if you are into this crazy conversation, keep with us
09:14
because we have a fun episode right now.
09:16
We're gonna have Angela Johnson Reyes.
09:18
Yes, the queen herself and Melissa Marty.
09:21
And then we're talking situations.
09:25
So just stick with us, stick with us baby girl.
09:36
Bring it on baby, bring it on.
09:40
There is a glamour hot take that we need to talk about is getting
09:44
back with your ex settling.
09:48
I know like what if you get back with your ex that you were really
09:51
in love with and he wasn't ready and you broke up and then you
09:54
get back with him and that if it was like 10 years later or five
09:57
years later, it's a different thing.
09:58
But if you broke up and then get back together in a month, then
10:01
it's a little bit messy because you haven't dealt with everything
10:04
Did he take accountability?
10:05
Did he not like that gets involved?
10:09
So, if it's quickly it's settling in my mind.
10:14
If you're getting back with them right away, a lot of the times
10:17
when you break up with somebody, I think that loneliness sets
10:20
in, you start really forgetting about maybe the pain they're
10:22
causing you on the daily.
10:23
You know, all the bad things where maybe they're just not being
10:26
loyal or giving you the love and attention or speaking in your
10:28
love language or at least putting in that effort and then you
10:30
get lonely and you're like, well, I'm in bed, I'm alone.
10:33
Let me just reach back out because it's familiar because it's
10:36
something that you're comfortable with.
10:38
And then that's kind of when, I don't know, I've been in that
10:39
cycle where you're on and off for so long.
10:43
So I've been, I've stayed in relationships I think way longer
10:46
than I should have because it is that comfort of going back
10:48
to someone, even though I know they are not good at, it's hard
10:52
But you were mentioning how, like you learn to love yourself
10:54
and to choose yourself from one of your past relationships
10:57
Well, I think one of the biggest things is the relationship
11:02
And when you get lonely you forget that reason.
11:05
But, like, one of the things where my friends say I'm kind of
11:08
a robot because in my last relationship I was done and I was
11:11
And the thing for me was I realized that the person I was in love
11:16
with didn't exist anymore.
11:18
So, like, there was nothing to miss, there was nothing to be
11:21
like, if we get back together it's still gonna be there.
11:23
It was like, no, this, this person was putting on a mask playing
11:27
Like he was playing a character.
11:29
So then once I realized, oh, that wasn't him.
11:34
Then I don't miss him anymore.
11:35
But I miss that idea sometimes though I'm like, but it's not
11:40
That means you need to find a hobby.
11:42
Would you, would you get back to the partner that cheated on
11:47
I don't think I could.
11:48
You've never done that, like, in high school?
11:51
I think I, once you lose that trust, what are you supposed to
11:55
Like, now I can't trust you to be alone if I'm going out of town
11:58
like, the, every relationship to me is all based on trust
12:02
Like, once you break the trust and if you do it at the beginning
12:04
like, it's a rat for me and I don't want, I'm not a person that
12:08
I'm not that kind of girl that wants to be looking, wants to
12:10
But like, if you give me a reason, then you're creating uh uh
12:14
uh unstable foundation for me for the rest of the time.
12:18
But again, he's now making you feel uncomfortable and you
12:20
don't feel comfortable in your relationship, you don't feel
12:22
safe and your partner is supposed to make you feel safe.
12:25
I feel like if you are gonna bring, if you are gonna get back
12:27
with somebody that's hurt you, you have to make the decision
12:31
to, if you're truly gonna try it, don't bring it up all the time
12:35
I mean, you have to fully let it go or move on because if it's
12:39
something that's gonna keep lingering and you're gonna bring
12:41
it up at argument, you're gonna keep bringing in.
12:43
I used to, it's gonna, it's gonna be no, I told that to my friend
12:47
that got cheated on.
12:48
Like she finally told me after like six months or a year after
12:50
it happened and they were still together and I was like, but
12:54
if you're staying, you can't make him pay for it every day because
12:58
you're making the choice now to stay.
13:00
You're so you're putting yourself in that position.
13:02
Now, if you're unhappy with it and you wanna punish him, then
13:05
really quickly is like, if you wanna cheat and just don't be
13:08
in a relationship, like you, you're choosing to be with me
13:11
we're choosing to be in this relationship, right?
13:13
So if you wanna cheat, then don't be in this relationship,
13:16
go do your thing and then come back if you really wanna be in
13:19
a relationship and that's where it gets messy because now
13:21
it's like situationships and then like dating and casually
13:24
dating and what exactly does that mean?
13:27
And I think situations are that where, like you think you're
13:30
committed but that person and doesn't think they're committed
13:33
and they're doing their own thing.
13:34
Like, you know what I mean?
13:35
So like, what's the definition, I guess for you guys, what's
13:39
I think a situationship is that you guys are dating, you're
13:41
hooking up but you haven't had the conversation of being exclusive
13:45
So like, you can't really tell me like, you can't ask me what
13:48
I'm doing on a daily, daily basis or if I go on another date,
13:51
you have no right to tell me that I can't do it because you're
13:55
No, but I can, but I am not, I'm not allowed to ask him if he went
13:59
on a date yesterday or nothing.
14:00
I that's his business because we haven't solidified that
14:03
Do you guys feel like the reason why there's so many relationships
14:06
like modern now right now?
14:08
Because there's so many people that just don't wanna commit
14:10
is because social media I think has given us this illusion
14:14
of options of OK, the grass is greener somewhere else.
14:17
I think, I don't know, this could be controversial but a lot
14:20
of women I feel like get a lot of attention online so do men.
14:23
It's so easy to access other people that sometimes you feel
14:26
like, you know what?
14:27
I don't wanna work through these issues.
14:28
I don't actually wanna stick it out long term.
14:31
I think goes into social media, we need instant gratification
14:36
we need that instant reaction and if we don't get it then we
14:39
think there's a problem and we don't wanna work through it
14:42
when like that wasn't the norm before.
14:45
And a commitment is, is tough.
14:46
Like, it's a commitment.
14:48
Like you have to be ready for, to work together and to be there
14:52
Like I, I said that with the, my boyfriend that I was dating
14:54
I'm like, do you really wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend
14:56
It's a commitment when you can be and do what you want.
14:59
We don't have to be serious.
15:01
You made a good point on another episode where it's like they
15:04
say relationships is work and it's because both of you have
15:07
So, so the point is if you're in a situation and you know what
15:10
you wanna get things cleared up, just be honest and speak your
15:13
truth and be like, I don't say I, I want more or I want less.
15:16
So this bothered me because there's nothing worse than like
15:19
having a lump in your throat and not speaking your truth.
15:21
All right, what is the situation ship to you guys?
15:23
We're gonna be answering that.
15:24
Plus, talking to the Latina queen of comedy, Angela Johnson
15:29
re so don't go anywhere.
15:30
We'll be right back.
15:31
How are you balancing motherhood with, with work?
15:34
I wanna stay home with her and just be home and be a mom.
15:37
But who can afford that?
15:38
You know, and there are women who can and God bless you, but
15:42
a lot of women can and they gotta get back out to work.
15:49
We have a very special guest joining us on Zoom today.
15:52
The hilarious Angela Johnson.
15:55
Rey is known for her iconic character on Mad TV has garnered
15:59
a massive following of over 75 million viewers through six
16:04
successful comedy specials, including the recent say I won't
16:07
I'm approaching the age where I'm gonna start getting my
16:10
clothes the same place I get my groceries say I won't, you will
16:22
Her book, do I think I am?
16:23
Stories of Cholla Wishes and Caviar dreams was released last
16:27
year and she's set to star in prime videos, holiday comedy
16:30
Candy Cane Lane alongside Eddie Murphy and Tracy Ellis Ross
16:35
And her husband welcomed their first child Rosalie in June
16:38
And when not touring, they divide their time between Los Angeles
16:42
and Nashville with their dog Banzo.
16:49
That's so much to say.
16:52
We need to give you that.
16:53
Tell them the recipe that I just made last night on Instagram
16:56
Like tell them all the things I'm doing.
16:59
I know we had to do it for you.
17:00
We're so excited that you're here.
17:01
You're obviously iconic.
17:02
We grew up on so many of the incredible comedy skits that you'd
17:06
I mean, I'm pretty sure we all did, right?
17:09
You're my best friend.
17:10
Like we met a few times, but in my head, you're my best friend
17:12
I'm right now and just like we grew up with you, we also see that
17:16
you've grown up, you're in a completely new chapter.
17:18
I feel like of your life.
17:20
I wanna kind of talk about what that transition's been like
17:23
you know, into motherhood and everything.
17:25
Also being in the industry, being a career woman.
17:27
How has that been for you?
17:28
Especially because you said you didn't want kids for so long
17:33
So many transitions happening.
17:35
Like even right now hearing you guys say, I grew up with you
17:38
and I'm like, wait a minute, we're not the same age.
17:40
Like, you know what I mean?
17:41
Like in terms of getting into being older, transitioning
17:44
and being a mom, put them together, an old mom.
17:46
It's just a whole bunch of stuff.
17:49
No, you, you've been wild.
17:51
It's been um very, I didn't know what to expect in this motherhood
17:57
So I'm just kind of taking it one day at a time and then every
18:00
day calling my mom and asking what did you do for this?
18:03
How did you do this?
18:04
So going into that, do you feel like you are kind of your mom
18:08
Like you thought your mom was a certain type of way or you thought
18:12
And then you're like, oh my God, I'm my mom now.
18:14
Like, do you feel that I feel like my mom was more relaxed than
18:20
I think I'm more stressed out.
18:21
My mom had four kids.
18:23
She raised them by herself, but she had all her four kids by
18:26
the time she was 30 I'm having my first kid at 41.
18:29
You know what I mean?
18:30
Like we're definitely different.
18:32
She was more chill like doing all by herself and like my sister
18:36
and I, we would go cruising like when we were 1415 years old
18:40
and coming home like midnight one in the morning.
18:43
And I don't know how she did that and did not like, like sleep
18:48
How do you even do that?
18:49
Because I'm stressed out if my daughter has like a stuffy nose
18:52
I'm like, oh my God, what do I do?
18:54
Well, I think it also depends what, what kid are you out of the
18:57
Like, where do you rank?
18:59
I'm in the middle, in the middle.
19:02
But they always say that the first baby is when, I don't know
19:04
I'm not a mom yet, but they say that's like the baby that you're
19:06
the most scared about.
19:07
Like you're scared of like picking them up, putting him down
19:09
and you're really paranoid and then as time goes and you have
19:12
more Children or if you decide to have more Children, then
19:14
it gets a little bit more relaxed.
19:15
Like you're like dirt, it's fine.
19:17
They need the bacteria, just pick it up off the floor.
19:22
Like, germs, MEMS, like just live your life.
19:25
And my mom was the youngest of eight Children.
19:28
So she was the kid that was just like, go live your life.
19:31
And so I think that kind of played a part in how she parent it
19:35
I wanna know is you're obviously on social media.
19:38
Um and people tend to insert their opinions sometimes about
19:42
all aspects of life.
19:43
I'm sure motherhood is so intense, so aggressive.
19:45
So many strangers sometimes feel the need to maybe comment
19:48
on parenting styles or they think they know better.
19:50
How are you maneuvering that?
19:52
Are you getting a lot of that?
19:54
So, luckily I, I do get some, but for the most part it's people
20:00
saying like, hey, we tried this and I love that kind of information
20:04
when they come at you.
20:05
It's like you should be doing this.
20:06
That's when I'm like, skip, skip.
20:08
You know what I mean?
20:09
And then I have this one fan, she'll like every day unsolicited
20:14
Here's your daily Tuesday advice.
20:15
And I'm like, oh, I didn't ask for it, but ok, here it comes and
20:18
then like, she'll, like, send me messages and sometimes I
20:20
don't even read them.
20:21
She's like, girl, I don't got time for this today and every
20:23
now and then I'll read it and be like, oh, that was actually
20:25
Should I go back and read the ones you sent me from?
20:30
And how are you balancing motherhood with, with work?
20:34
Um, it's hard and here's the thing.
20:37
It's like, I, I wanna stay home with her and just be home and
20:42
But I have to go out on the road and travel and do my shows so that
20:46
I can afford to be home on the days when I get to be home.
20:49
You know what I mean?
20:50
So, it's like, it's part of me wanting to still be creative
20:55
But then a big part of me wanting to just be home and be a mom.
20:58
And I've heard that from so many of my friends and family members
21:01
that are just like, I wish I could just be a stay at home mom but
21:04
who can afford that, you know, and there are women who can and
21:08
God bless you, you know, more power to you, but a lot of women
21:11
can't and they gotta get back out to work.
21:13
My um I was asking my mom even just today, I'm like, how long
21:16
did you breastfeed me?
21:17
She's like only six weeks because I had to go back to work.
21:19
All my kids only got to breastfeed for six weeks because I had
21:22
And like that is, that's tough, you know, and I'm grateful
21:26
that I get to like fly away, do a show and fly right back and,
21:30
and get back in time to, you know, only miss one day of my daughter
21:36
Well, Angela, we got something called the rapid fire questions
21:39
that people comment and they ask questions and we wanna, we
21:43
wanna ask you some quick questions.
21:44
You have a little time to answer.
21:46
We're gonna answer the first one.
21:50
What animal would you describe your husband as maybe like
21:54
Like, what's something that always bumps into you?
21:56
And you're like, did you not see me right here?
21:58
You really tall giraffe?
22:00
I mean, he's tall but I'm just trying to think of something
22:02
that's just like that just bumps you and you just keep, they're
22:05
like, oh, I didn't see you there.
22:06
I just keep going about their life.
22:07
Like I feel like a giraffe, feels like lanky and like hits you
22:11
What's a phrase you feel like you say way too much?
22:16
And I mean, it in the most loving way because that's what I say
22:20
when somebody says something or does something really funny
22:24
My response is I hate you and it's like it's negative but I mean
22:29
I don't mean it negative.
22:30
I mean, it like, it depends on the way you say it.
22:33
So we, we understand that.
22:34
OK, one word to describe your new comedy special.
22:39
Who's your favorite comedian?
22:45
Well, Angela, you're so incredible.
22:47
Thank you for taking the time to talk to us all the way from Nashville
22:49
I believe is where you're at right now.
22:51
Nashville, Tennessee.
22:52
Uh where can everybody find your comedy special?
22:54
So everybody could tune in.
22:57
Look up Angela Johnson.
23:01
And it's streaming right now and share it with all your friends
23:04
and family and just laugh and have a good time.
23:11
You have money for the rest of your day.
23:13
It is me first, me, second, me third and then everything else
23:21
It's like it's the person you have to look at in the mirror as
23:24
long as I, I do what she wants and I'm honest and true to her,
23:27
everything else is gonna fall in line guys and we are back and
23:33
we are ready to welcome our next guest, Melissa Marty.
23:46
Wait, I have to do the official intro.
23:48
I have to do the official intro.
23:49
Born in Puerto Rico.
23:51
Melissa Marty is one of the most beautiful faces of Hispanic
23:53
television and certainly has one of the most noblest and most
23:56
charismatic hearts, a versatile actress, dancer and singer
24:00
She represented her hometown of God.
24:06
I knew I was gonna come outside and if I, and if I say something
24:12
my grandmother is gonna kill me because she's gonna say you're
24:14
from Maia, which I was born in Mayaguez.
24:17
But I grew up in Caguas.
24:18
I feel more that's your home.
24:20
And as you can tell I know her.
24:26
It's so fun to be here.
24:27
I'm so excited to have you here.
24:29
I feel like you have a lot to say she was like, I have opinion
24:33
Now I want to ask like, what was the tea because you walked over
24:36
here like I have to say I was listening to y'all talk about relationships
24:43
and situations and that word situation is for me.
24:46
But I have been in a relationship for 19 years.
24:50
Um, yes, you like five years old?
24:57
Um, no, we started in college.
24:58
Uh, we knew each other since high school.
25:00
We were very good friends.
25:02
I actually hooked him up with his first girlfriend.
25:04
So we were like really good friends and living so that we did
25:08
5.5 years long distance.
25:10
So I can sit here and say that I have been through anything and
25:14
everything that's probably meant to break people apart and
25:18
And there is nothing more beautiful in total honesty.
25:23
There's nothing more beautiful than being able to sit with
25:26
a person and have that longevity because there is so much and
25:32
I, and I get chills talking about it.
25:33
There is so much more intimacy and so much more grounded and
25:38
so much more security because II, I heard you at one point you
25:41
said like, oh, there's, it doesn't make you safe.
25:44
Did you have a few of those things before 1000%?
25:46
We, we broke up at one point, we broke up at one point because
25:51
we had been doing long distance for a long time and I didn't
25:54
see the end in near and I was over the distance and I didn't wanna
25:59
get on another flight and I didn't wanna have to say goodbye
26:02
And I had met another guy that I had met another guy and I got
26:08
so to say, I, I don't, I don't think I was confused because I
26:12
did break up and I did end up dating this other person and he
26:15
dated some other people too.
26:17
But it was always very clear to me that it was, it was always
26:20
a comparison, right?
26:21
So I was always comparing this guy to how my now husband Nelson
26:25
made me feel and I would always say like Nelson would never
26:28
Nelson would never speak to me like that Nelson would never
26:30
da da da, you know, and, and that, that goes to show you but allowing
26:35
yourself, I feel like I, I don't remember if it was you or you
26:38
Somebody said that now people don't wanna go through the problems
26:42
And the work I've been asked is, is being in a relationship
26:46
work if the relationship is the right relationship, I don't
26:50
think that it's work.
26:51
The work comes from you trying to keep it fresh, you trying
26:56
to keep it new, you trying to keep yourself and your partner
26:59
engaged to keep on dating type of situation, you know, like
27:04
not getting complacent and bored for like just you have to
27:08
like keep dating each other.
27:09
You have to, you have to make it fun and you have to make a new
27:12
And that's where the work is tough conversations.
27:16
You allow the person space, you allow the person space and
27:20
and the one thing that I have learned for myself in my relationship
27:23
my husband and I are very, very different human beings.
27:27
I'm very, very passion, very, like, outspoken and he's an
27:34
He doesn't like, he's like, doesn't, you know, he's like Aquarius
27:37
is like January, right?
27:38
February, he's February 6.
27:40
My boyfriend is, yeah.
27:42
So it's like they, they match very well with feisty characteristics
27:47
of, of their partner just because they're, they're, they're
27:51
easy going, you know, not to say that they're easy people though
27:57
But tell me if not, like, when he has an opinion, like he will
28:00
get it across 100% 100% he's just, I think they're smart.
28:04
I think that's right.
28:05
They don't, they don't, they don't overstress the little
28:08
stuff, you know, and that's, that's really good.
28:10
You do what you wanna do.
28:14
So I was gonna, I was saying that like my, my husband and I are
28:16
two very different people and the beauty about it is like we
28:20
will approach a situation in two completely different ways
28:24
and he allows me to be me and I allow him to be, to be him.
28:29
I don't try to change him.
28:30
I don't try to control him.
28:32
He doesn't try to control me.
28:33
He will tell me his opinion and he will call me out on, on my things
28:36
Like when he thinks like, hey, you, maybe you should see this
28:40
this other way or maybe you shouldn't have done this perspective
28:44
and allowing for, for that to exist in a relationship is very
28:47
important without taking it personal, without feeling like
28:50
the person is attacking you and knowing that they come from
28:53
It's being able to be an adult and have accountability is being
28:57
able to hear a different perspective, you know.
29:00
And I think that a lot of people growing up we had to be so defensive
29:02
or so protective that, like, we're, we're not used to that
29:06
And it's like, no, it's my way.
29:07
Oh, you don't agree with me then it's a problem.
29:09
We don't think the same.
29:10
Exactly when it's actually not the problem that actually
29:13
creates a space for growth and for, like, you know, you coming
29:18
together and, and, and truth, truth of the matter is you're
29:20
never gonna see things the same way because you're totally
29:22
different human beings with different backgrounds, with
29:25
different things that affect your opinions.
29:28
What do you have to say to women that have maybe been in long
29:30
term relationships that want that next step?
29:32
Because I know you guys had taken, we took a year, like a year
29:35
and a half, we broke up.
29:37
But you guys were dating before you guys got married, like
29:39
10 years, wasn't it?
29:41
So, personally, for you, why do you think was it because you
29:43
were in your career?
29:45
Because, you know, a lot of times people say if they don't marry
29:47
you within this amount of time, then it's not real.
29:49
Obviously your your case.
29:50
That that wasn't the case in, in my situation particularly
29:54
he, it was funny because when I went for Sara Latina, his mom
29:58
actually told him he's like, oh, she's leaving for the show
30:01
You know, I was living in Puerto Rico.
30:02
I was going to Miami and he's like, oh, I don't wanna put a ring
30:05
And I remember sitting down with him and telling him now it's
30:09
not the time to ask me to marry you because I'm not gonna say
30:12
yes and you want me to say yes, like this isn't the time I've
30:15
always known where I want to go in life.
30:18
And, and I have always known that the person that I have to be
30:23
accountable with is the girl that I see in the mirror every
30:26
Not anybody else, friends will come and go, guys will come
30:31
We love more than one person in this lifetime.
30:34
But I only look at myself in the mirror and I have to wake up to
30:37
her and I have to go to bed to her.
30:38
So she's the person that I know.
30:41
I'm like, I bless you all this talk.
30:44
Honestly, the perfect segue into our segment called Callas
30:56
What is one piece of bad life advice someone has given you?
31:01
I would say, hey, I actually saw this earlier um my mom gave
31:05
me advice to move in with my boyfriend when we had only been
31:09
together for like six months.
31:10
And her reasoning was to save money on rent.
31:13
And I'm like, why would you tell me to move in with someone within
31:16
six months to save rent?
31:18
When at the time I was making six figures, I could have done
31:20
that shit by myself.
31:21
So why are you giving me that advice?
31:22
And I still have this fight with her to this day and she's like
31:25
well, but I just wanted you to save money.
31:27
I was like, I was paying 75% of every anyway mother.
31:30
Um So that for me is bad advice.
31:33
I think everybody's gotten really bad advice.
31:34
There was one guy in particular, like in my early twenties
31:36
that was absolutely perfect.
31:39
And, and I honestly to this day, I, you know, I still think about
31:43
he was kind of like the one that got away in a, in a sense and I
31:45
had all my homegirls telling me it's too young, like you still
31:49
need to explore your options.
31:51
And yes, I'm all for in your twenties.
31:53
Like I get it, it, you know, do your thing.
31:55
But I also think if you find someone that really aligns with
31:59
you morally family values, he's, you know, gonna be there
32:02
Like you said, there's something so beautiful about having
32:04
somebody long term with you.
32:06
And I think it's lovely.
32:06
I think it's any time I see a couple that's made it through their
32:09
teenage years, into their early adult years, into their late
32:13
I think it's like the most beautiful inspiring thing.
32:16
You don't even hear that happening as much anymore because
32:18
you do change so much.
32:19
But he's that person that I'm like, I wish I had maybe put in
32:21
a little bit more of that effort with him because where is he
32:25
Um, I, I have no idea.
32:26
I want to break up with, you know, who you are?
32:33
The funny part is I don't think he knows who he is because I never
32:36
really express it to him.
32:36
And I think that's what I regret.
32:38
Will never, never really go, I'd have to go to the other side
32:42
of the country probably today.
32:44
I don't know, I haven't heard from him in forever sometimes
32:48
Um, and this actually ties into some of the bad advice that
32:52
Um, w when, when my now husband and I had broken up, like, I,
32:58
I flew cross country overnight to get broken up with because
33:02
he didn't wanna move to L A at that time.
33:04
Long story short, the long, the, the wrong advice that I've
33:07
been given is maybe not listening to your gut or having somebody
33:12
be like, like, I don't think you should do that and in your gut
33:17
you're like, yeah, no, this is what I need to do even if it doesn't
33:20
align with what other people think or like, because again
33:26
That's, that's your life.
33:27
That's, that's, that's good for you.
33:28
But it's not what I need to do.
33:30
You're gonna find a guy like him later and, like, had I not gone
33:33
gotten on that plane and gone to go, get my heart broken into
33:38
I don't think we would be where we are today.
33:40
Yeah, because it also gave me the the realization of like hold
33:46
It is me first, me, second, me third and then everything else
33:53
again, it's like it's the person you have to look at in the mirror
33:56
as long as I, I do what she wants and I'm honest and true to her
34:00
everything else is gonna fall in line guys, I'm excited.
34:04
We're gonna get another question real quick.
34:06
Do you think men should have any age limit for when they have
34:09
A lot of the times the conversation is about women and I get
34:12
it there is that biological clock aspect of it?
34:17
But with men, you don't really hear that conversation as much
34:20
You hear about who, who are those two famous people?
34:24
I wanna say, well, so what about their eighties and Al Pacino
34:27
And like, yeah, De Niro, why is, why are these men having them
34:31
What can you even pick up your child?
34:33
Like because you can't because they can't because they have
34:41
We only know about richer people, you know, that I know someone
34:46
who's Alito had, you know, he had his whole family in Mexico
34:49
and then it was like a young girl.
34:50
But, I mean, he was up there, like, in his seventies, mid seventies
34:54
having babies and think he's not rich, you know, any of that
34:57
You know, I don't, I don't know that, I think it's, hm, mm, it's
35:02
a tricky subject because I feel like yes, they can.
35:05
But also how fair is it to that child?
35:07
That's what I'm saying.
35:08
Like how fair is it to that child that maybe bring your, bring
35:14
your parents to school for show and tell and you know, that
35:21
there's a, there's a lot that goes into that.
35:24
I do fully think that having a kid is, is something that shouldn't
35:28
ever be taken lightly.
35:30
It's such a huge, huge responsibility, um, on and it should
35:35
Unfortunately, for the longest time that responsibility
35:39
has been more, more so on the women's shoulders and more so
35:43
now I feel like the guys are stepping up and wanting to be more
35:46
involved and I applaud that not to say that men haven't done
35:50
that because they have.
35:51
But it, it does need to be more of like a 5050.
35:56
And that also relies on us as women allowing them to step up
36:01
and allowing them to, maybe they're not gonna do it the way
36:04
that you would do it as a mommy or maybe they're not, but they
36:07
need to show up however they can and they need to be applauded
36:11
And, you know, because, because if every time a guy, and again
36:15
this isn't me just like throwing in the tougher guys, uh,
36:18
uh, um, but if, if every time a guy comes to do that, they're
36:21
like doing it wrong.
36:23
Like of course, they're not gonna wanna do it, of course.
36:26
But back to the conversation about older men having Children
36:29
I think it's not ethical.
36:31
And because again, think of the role that men play in somebody's
36:34
If they're that much older, do they have any energy?
36:37
Do they play, catch you?
36:39
Yeah, you can do anything with Chucky Cheese and take them
36:45
How do you deal with parents asking about when you're going
36:48
to give them grand babies?
36:50
Let me tell you ladies, you don't pick up the phone.
36:57
No, I, you know what this, this is?
37:00
That's mm, that's a tough one for me because again, I've been
37:05
with my husband for 19 years.
37:07
I've known him since we were in high school.
37:09
We've been married now for 10 and we have decided that we are
37:14
potentially not gonna have kids because we, we like our life
37:18
the way it is because we know that it takes a village and our
37:21
village is 3000 miles away in Puerto Rico.
37:24
Um because I am very career oriented because we love having
37:28
our nephews and then just getting them right back and going
37:31
home and like being in silence and all these things.
37:36
I, I think that, that you have to set bou boundaries because
37:41
at the end of the day, there's a, there's a saying in Spanish
37:43
that says, like me know Puerto Rico said, Naab lo la oao que
37:49
Like nobody knows what's in the pot except for the one that's
37:52
Um and that applies, you know, for, for us in our lives.
37:56
Like II, I live in a one bedroom apartment.
38:00
I I don't, I personally me, Melissa, I don't wanna have a child
38:03
in a one bedroom apartment.
38:04
I don't wanna have a child if I can't provide at least the minimum
38:07
what I was provided for which nowadays with inflation like
38:12
all these like I can't afford the house, my parents afforded
38:15
I with the backyard that they gave me.
38:18
Like it's, it's crazy, you know.
38:19
So all these things, that's what I'm saying, like it is such
38:21
it, it requires so much responsibility going into that and
38:25
not to say that I can't change my mind.
38:28
Who knows, who knows?
38:30
But like it, it's one of those things like they had to back off
38:35
And at at some point we were like I told my husband at once, I
38:37
was like, I'm just gonna tell your mom at one point that maybe
38:40
maybe I just can't have kids see what she reacts, see how she
38:43
reacts because nobody knows.
38:46
Like, what if that is my situation?
38:49
But what if it works?
38:50
That's the situation of many women and that needs to be respected
38:53
And you, you never know what buttons you're pushing.
38:57
But you never know what buttons you're pushing, you know,
38:59
on somebody and it, and it can, it can recap.
39:01
And for me it's totally different.
39:03
I never had much my mom, um I think it's also because I started
39:09
So like me and her are both career focused, you know, so like
39:13
for me it was like, don't this and don't, don't, don't, don't
39:17
And so I'm like, I've never felt that pressure.
39:21
On, on my end my mom definitely pressures me a lot and my situation
39:25
is different because that's, I think it would be my biggest
39:27
fulfillment in life.
39:28
I think that's like my biggest dream.
39:29
My biggest, biggest, biggest dream is to be a mom is to be like
39:34
Um So when my mom tells me, I do get like, stop like I, I get where
39:40
you're coming from but I think it's on God's time.
39:42
It's not on my time.
39:43
I just haven't found somebody that I feel like has a line with
39:47
Yeah, I feel, I feel young but my mom makes me feel like it's
39:50
the end of the world.
39:51
My mom had her first baby at 17, by my age, she had four kids,
39:54
you know, by my age she was like blown mom.
39:57
And that's the dream, you know, hopefully one day we'll, you
40:00
know, on God's time.
40:01
But I love that though.
40:02
I love that you have that, that desire and, you know, and I feel
40:06
like that's also something that we as women need to recognize
40:10
Like just because society says that oh, by a certain age, you
40:13
should have this or have that society don't pay for bills.
40:16
So like if, if and it's one of those things like I have never
40:21
I have never and, and I have friends that, that have and I, I
40:24
even last night, I was sitting in bed with my husband.
40:26
I was like, man, I don't know if maybe I'm missing out on something
40:29
he's like, but you've never had that desire to say no, like
40:34
and I told him I was like, but you're so good with kids.
40:37
He's like, yeah, but I like giving them back and it's, you know
40:40
and it's just, it's just being honest, being honest with
40:44
yourself and not, not um forgo like your desires and what you
40:48
know, to be true for you just because it works for everybody
40:51
just because that's the narrative or that's like what's happening
40:54
Yeah, like you really, I had one friend one time.
40:57
Um Tell me she's like, if you don't really, really want it,
41:02
Well, ok, after a quick break, we back with track the growth
41:05
But 1st 73% of our viewers on social voted that they are in favor
41:13
Yo, people want their, their, they, they wanna eat it and I
41:18
So, wow, I can't, I can't.
41:21
But yeah, we'll be back with track the growth after this.
41:23
What are you seeing on your timeline?
41:25
What's your algorithm looking like?
41:26
If it's just bombarded of a lot of women, it does actually affect
41:32
And they are saying studies are saying that a lot of the times
41:34
men are now becoming a little bit more numb to how beautiful
41:37
women are because of the sexualization of Instagram of social
41:41
First of all, I'm gonna just put this out there and try to find
41:44
A man that looks at you more than he looks at his phone.
41:48
Let me just start with that.
41:52
We are back before Melissa leaves.
41:54
We're gonna have a little bit of mulled wine.
41:56
Have you guys ever had mulled wine before?
41:59
I have, it's warm and spicy.
42:11
I already know I'm going to love it.
42:15
Oh That's really good.
42:17
This is my type of holiday drinker.
42:19
I feel like I feel like I need, you don't love it.
42:23
I feel like I need a fire crackling, fire crackling.
42:29
I, I'm such a sucker for all things holiday and then, and then
42:33
a good holiday movie.
42:38
It's wine, red wine, dry wine.
42:43
Brandy oranges, cinnamon sticks and mold spices.
42:50
I think the Brandy is what I don't like because tm, I, but the
42:54
only time I drank Brandy was at a high school flyer party and
42:59
I had just ate a couple noodles and I don't know how to drink
43:02
So I took a shot of it and I threw up my, you know, I don't think
43:07
there's just a little, I like that.
43:09
You know what I mean?
43:10
So I have a really interesting topic that we were kind of talking
43:13
about when we went into the green room to do our hair and makeup
43:17
This is about being in a relationship with someone or talking
43:21
The first thing that a lot of women do, I don't wanna say every
43:24
woman but a lot, what a lot of women do is see who the guy is following
43:27
Who are they kind of, what are they?
43:29
I'm not researching him, researching just like who, who he
43:32
Like, what kind of, what, well, who you're following, that's
43:37
the stuff that you're viewing and allowing into your psyche
43:40
into your mind, into your heart.
43:42
I'm, I'm following all girls and models and things like that
43:46
What would you feel?
43:47
I think we underestimate how much that can affect a person
43:51
I'm not, I'm not saying just men.
43:54
What are you seeing on your timeline?
43:55
What's your algorithm looking like?
43:57
If it's just bombarded of a lot of women all the time, half naked
44:01
half closing, that's what they're looking at all the time
44:04
So we have to also think, I know we all want to be like, no, it
44:06
doesn't matter to me, but I think it does matter and I think
44:09
it does actually affect a man day to day.
44:12
And they are saying studies are saying that a lot of the times
44:14
men are now becoming a little bit or numb to how beautiful women
44:17
are because of the sexualization of Instagram of social media
44:21
Is that something that bothers you guys?
44:23
Well, first of all, I'm gonna just put this out there and try
44:27
A man that looks at you more than he looks at his phone.
44:30
Let me just start with that second.
44:32
Like I don't, I social media is such a such an insane world,
44:39
Um I thankfully and it goes on and my husband's very much into
44:44
So that's where he spends most of his attention, not so much
44:47
on social media and when he's on social media, we're just sending
44:50
each other like cute puppy videos and shit like that, you know
44:53
Um, but I have, if it were, if it were the case because we were
44:57
talking about it just now and I have found like that his friends
45:01
sent him photos of stuff and like that maybe I don't need him
45:04
to be looking at, but I also be like, oh, who's that?
45:08
And I'll, I'll look at it too.
45:10
You know, that's what my mom says.
45:11
My mom says that when my dad checks, he, my dad would check the
45:14
young girls his whole life.
45:14
He just, he's just that kind of guy that she started checking
45:17
them out before he even so like she would walk by and she'd be
45:20
like, OK, and they would both do it together.
45:23
And that's the thing.
45:24
Like I, I can, I can very much sit here and I was a strong female
45:30
Like I like my men, my husband.
45:33
Like I can appreciate a woman's beauty.
45:35
I can look at it but I was, I was like soy and it's great and like
45:41
I am one to sit down with my and, and I, I don't wanna be in a relationship
45:46
where I don't feel like myself and for me to feel like myself
45:50
I have to be secure.
45:51
A f you have to be secure and when they see those things, it's
45:57
one of those things where it's like you have a better hair,
46:00
honey, you just look at whatever you want, but it's, you're
46:03
not gonna find better than me.
46:04
It also, again, you could look all you want.
46:06
You're not gonna do anything and knowing that that that's
46:09
the security of, do you feel like it?
46:10
Do you feel like it?
46:11
And this is just me playing devil's advocate?
46:13
Do you think, do you feel like it could open potential door
46:16
to maybe something happening?
46:17
Let's say you're going through a really tough time and you're
46:19
not securing your relationship and then all of a sudden you're
46:21
like, well, I don't want to deal with this person.
46:24
Maybe things are better over there and you're bombarded.
46:27
You know, when that's when the commitment comes in, when the
46:31
trust comes in, the honesty comes in.
46:34
I've always thought that when people cheat, when people deviate
46:39
it is because either things have not been said or they haven't
46:43
been listened to because you can be in a relationship, right
46:46
And you can, you can say to your partner, hey, this is happening
46:49
Hey, I'm feeling this and this.
46:51
I'm feeling X and Y I don't, I am not getting this from you.
46:54
And if they don't react to what you're saying, if they don't
46:57
listen, that will cause a void in that relationship, which
47:01
is what then will cause you to go looking for that somewhere
47:05
else again, not to like um, applaud.
47:10
I am not justifying, but it is an effect of a problem that has
47:17
not been solved adequately addressed.
47:19
Let's track the growth here.
47:22
We have cut outs of our beautiful faces.
47:25
You guys take some, ok, and we're gonna, we're gonna use them
47:32
I'm gonna ask some questions here.
47:33
So these are for you.
47:38
Who's the biggest rebel against societal norms?
47:42
Oh, that's a hard one.
47:44
Who, who, who, who, who I, I did me.
47:51
Ok, I'll do for you.
47:52
So you win, I think because I think you saying that, you know
47:57
you don't care about having not that you don't care about
47:59
it but like kids is not a thing.
48:00
You actually, yeah, I would say, yeah, you yourself, you know
48:03
marriage, long distance like being with somebody for 18
48:07
Like those are all things that I change my vote to.
48:12
I feel like you're living a very carefree, like secure life
48:17
So you, I take that back, I put myself up who's the most likely
48:23
to have it all figured out?
48:27
Well, I am the oldest at the table.
48:29
So let me just say that I feel like I know my life and I know what
48:34
And I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm gonna do this because you know what
48:38
we all learn and when you learn, you grow and you just keep evolving
48:42
So, hey, all of y'all I like, yeah, like I'm still trying to
48:48
figure it out but OK, well, I know it's dumb.
48:52
It's sad to see them dumb.
48:54
But we, I just wanna say I learned so much and it's so inspirational
48:58
I'm not saying that you're older like that but just more have
49:01
experienced life and is and is like a mentor, you know, to us
49:05
and has and isn't living like the traditional life, but it
49:08
still has like all their ducks in a row and is happy and like
49:11
it just showed an alternative that a lot of people like me and
49:15
Jess come from very traditional Colombian families don't
49:17
get to see very often.
49:18
So thank you for inspiring.
49:21
Thank you for coming on you so much.
49:24
Like I, the, the thing that like moves me and what has always
49:27
moved me is ever since I wanna start raise, am I?
49:30
Why is to be able to inspire people to like follow their dreams
49:34
and like dare to maybe go outside of what the box?
49:38
You know, because even a career like this in arts as an actor
49:42
isn't necessarily the first choice for parents when they
49:45
think what they want their kid to be.
49:46
But if it's in your heart, it's something that you need to do
49:49
and trusting your God and all those things like they just lead
49:52
So I always feel like when you wake up and you're doing what
49:54
you need to do, you're happy and everything else kind of falls
50:01
Where can we find you?
50:02
Where can people follow you to get information for what's
50:06
Well, I think that the place that maybe I connect the most is
50:11
I'm not really, I'm here's where my age comes in.
50:14
Like I'm not really, I'm not on Tik Tok.
50:16
I'm not on like any of the old, I'm on Instagram and that's a
50:20
I'm not to be addicted to scrolling at Mellie Marty is, is my
50:28
Well, that's it for this episode of Girl.
50:30
Let me tell you, Melissa.
50:31
Thank you so much, girl, girl, let me tell you and Chelsea thank
50:38
you so much again for being a host on.
50:42
So learned a lot and we will be back very soon for the next episode
50:46
I'm Ivanna, I'm Meli Marti.
50:49
I am Chelsea Rendon and this is girl, let me tell you I ruined
50:57
I didn't say girl long enough.
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