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Multiple Soulmates, Toxic Signs and Getting Out of Dark Places

Girl, Let Me Tell You
Comedian Glorelys Mora, actress Ivana Rojas and radio sensation Jessica Flores get into dating red flags, the downsides of going viral, love bombing, when Ivanna was jumped by 12 girls and getting out of dark places in this premiere episode.
Show transcript
00:00
Hi, everybody.
00:00
We're here at the first episode of Girl.
00:03
Let me tell you, I'm so excited.
00:06
Live here at the NGL Mitu studios in Los Angeles.
00:11
I know I've been saying I was going to move out here and I finally
00:13
did it.
00:14
I know.
00:15
Thank you.
00:15
Thank you.
00:16
This is like a home.
00:17
What do you say when you move into the house, home warming,
00:19
home warming, warming?
00:21
I don't know no words.
00:22
I don't know any words.
00:24
And you know, honestly, I think we were talking a little bit
00:27
behind the scenes about how our goals for this year and one
00:30
of my goals, I've been doing comedy for about five years now
00:32
But I'm like, I want to do a podcast.
00:34
I feel like I really want to get to get closer with my audience
00:37
and just meet new people and meet new friends.
00:39
And I think this is the perfect way for me to do that.
00:42
That's because we were feeling the same way, weren't we girl
00:46
would happen?
00:46
How would it happen?
00:47
You have no idea.
00:48
I have no idea but it happened and then a blessing.
00:51
I love it and God knows where it's going take what this is going
00:54
to go.
00:54
I love it.
00:54
I know it's going to go somewhere great because of a Pisces
00:56
Moon and I can feel things.
00:58
Ok.
00:59
I want to give him a little bit of background of who we are.
01:01
Um, I'll just give everybody an introduction.
01:03
I'm Loreli Mora.
01:04
I've never really said my full name because I'm so nervous
01:06
about people messing it up.
01:07
I know it's a Dominican name.
01:09
My mom made it up, you know how it goes.
01:11
She put two names together, but everyone will call me glory
01:14
And like I said, I've been doing stand up for five years.
01:17
I love what I do.
01:18
And I think this is a great because I feel like I'm really coming
01:21
to my womanhood and I know the direction I'm going in.
01:24
So I wanted to do a podcast especially centered around, you
01:27
know, being a woman and, and just being able to give the next
01:31
woman coming up or someone that didn't see themselves growing
01:34
up, just some guidance, seeing them in the media or just seeing
01:38
them open up about their lives and stuff like that, which is
01:40
why I'm so excited that we're on the fierce by me through platform
01:43
And because this is the place to do that, which is like being
01:46
open, raw, honest.
01:47
And especially if you're a woman that works, you're a hard
01:50
worker, you're a career woman, you want to make your own money
01:52
But you also care about love and relationships and you just
01:54
honestly want balance in your life, which is what we're all
01:57
trying to figure out.
02:02
Just saying on the west side, born and raised in law, we got
02:05
21 East coast.
02:07
We're ready beefing.
02:08
I love that.
02:09
But it's not just for women though.
02:11
I think that men can really benefit from stuff too.
02:14
You know, for sure we have both sides.
02:17
We need some empathy from the other side and feminine vibe
02:21
because I feel like when they could come together, it's a beautiful
02:23
thing when they can come together.
02:25
I'm Jessica Flores is also born and raised here in Los Angeles
02:31
and I work in the media radio hosting space.
02:35
But I don't know, I've done a little bit of everything.
02:36
I feel like we've done a little bit of everything.
02:41
Yeah.
02:41
My linkedin.
02:42
Yeah, I haven't even been on there that much to be honest.
02:44
But you know what else?
02:45
I love?
02:46
I love that.
02:46
We're all Latina but we're so I feel like for a long time growing
02:50
up Latina, I was like, that girl doesn't really look like me
02:52
I do admire her.
02:53
But so I feel like we all represent something different to
02:55
everybody.
02:56
And I really, really love that because I was telling somebody
02:59
behind the scenes like this is the first time I felt really
03:02
included in my Latini and it feels really nice that it's true
03:06
Dominican Mexican and Colombian and we're all Americans
03:10
first generation.
03:14
I love it.
03:14
Is that Spanish all a little bad.
03:18
Never mind cut away right now.
03:20
So I guess we could just get started.
03:22
Girl, let me tell you, let me tell you, I'm going to be a little
03:32
messy right now and I want to know why are you single?
03:35
Ok.
03:35
We're getting straight into it.
03:37
You want to go first?
03:38
Ok.
03:39
I will say something.
03:40
I, I'm dating somebody but I'm single until it's official
03:46
No, no, no to the title.
03:48
I feel as though you're single until somebody's like, you
03:52
know, I want you to be my girl but single, meaning what for sure
03:55
You're not seeing other people, for sure.
03:56
He's not seeing other people.
03:57
You guys have a, we haven't even spoke about that yet.
04:00
So there no, so you can't hit up anybody else.
04:02
So if somebody asks me on a date and I have even 2% of interest
04:06
I'm going to go on a date but because there's no boundaries
04:09
yet, but I want to know Ivana besides Gaia side.
04:13
Like, what are your, why do you think you're single right now
04:15
Because you beautiful woman, girl, so successful I single
04:22
because I choose to be single.
04:24
It's a, it's a, it's a choice because I know how I am.
04:26
When I do, I am in a relationship and it's just really distracting
04:30
and right now in my life, I'm 33 years old.
04:33
I'm kind of like, you know, I'm working hard and I just want
04:35
to focus and when I do like somebody and I am in a, like, it's
04:40
just so hard.
04:40
I got love hard.
04:43
It's just a little bit of a distraction.
04:45
I am.
04:46
My moon is in cancer.
04:48
So, yeah.
04:51
So I can't go, I can't give in until I'm like, ok, for sure he's
04:54
down and then I'll be like, ok, then your walls will come down
04:57
a little bit more.
04:57
Maybe my walls are majorly up.
05:00
Is it because you've been hurt in the past or maybe you guys
05:02
haven't respected the fact that you, you're a career woman
05:04
You, you're out here, you're doing your thing.
05:06
You need to put that priority.
05:07
A lot of the times I've definitely um have planned to never
05:10
fall yet.
05:11
What do you mean?
05:12
Like you tell yourself like, yeah, right when you tell the
05:15
truth, right?
05:15
When I'm the most in love and I can't control myself, I'm, I'm
05:19
out, it's gonna run right now.
05:22
It is run away, run away.
05:25
But that has taught me the most because I have like, I break
05:27
my own heart, like I literally leave and I break my heart.
05:29
And it's because talk about the glow up like at the beginning
05:33
I left because I wasn't ready to face the things that I was ready
05:36
to face my insecurities with these guys.
05:38
You know what I mean?
05:38
Like I wasn't ready to be that woman yet.
05:40
So I had to sit, look in the mirror and be like, why am I breaking
05:43
my own heart and leaving in the middle of this?
05:46
Nothing to do with him has all to do with me.
05:47
And do you feel like you're at a different place in your life
05:49
Now where if you love, you're not going to run away from it,
05:52
you going to embrace it because I had to learn to love myself
05:55
first.
05:55
You know what I mean?
05:56
And I didn't love myself when it was all these guys.
05:58
A lot of the times in your early twenties, I was, you don't love
06:01
yourself.
06:01
You don't think you do.
06:02
I think you do.
06:04
You think I did not like myself at all?
06:06
I always say it wasn't until I started stand up that I started
06:09
liking myself.
06:10
The moment I got on the stage, I was like, you know what I owned
06:14
all my insecurities and I was like, I like me now.
06:17
But before we go there, I still want to know why are you single
06:20
are a problem because you are literally, I mean, ok, well,
06:28
first off, OK, let's think about dating nowadays.
06:31
There's so many amazing people especially and I don't want
06:33
to single out a everyone's horrible.
06:36
Well, I'm, I do feel like I agree with that.
06:39
There are a lot of positive, but I will say I do think the climate
06:43
that we're in now with social media and all that keeps a lot
06:46
of people single just because loyalty is so rare.
06:49
And then add that on top of the fact that we are from L A, you're
06:51
from New York, New York, we're from hustle areas like that
06:54
Urban areas, those urban areas in the US where a lot of the times
06:59
it's about the priority is always gonna be work.
07:01
It's gonna be your job, especially for women, especially
07:03
when you're a career woman.
07:04
I found myself failing in relationships over and over again
07:07
because it came down to, well, my job comes number one because
07:11
I wasn't in a place in my life where I wanted to really actually
07:14
find my life partner.
07:15
So I feel like, yeah, I neglected myself.
07:18
I neglected a lot of those early relationships for my career
07:21
But did it make me happy at the end of the day?
07:24
No, I accomplished a lot of things but it didn't make me happy
07:29
Do you feel like you want a relationship right now?
07:32
Do you feel lonely a little bit?
07:34
I love being single.
07:37
I don't mind being alone.
07:38
I love being alone in my home and I love that piece and I wouldn't
07:43
say I'm lonely but it's nice having a man.
07:45
It's nice having a companion.
07:46
It's nice having somebody that can step in and be that everything
07:52
I mean, that's nice too.
07:53
I'm not gonna lie.
07:54
Of course, it's super nice.
07:55
But I just, I love a man that can complement your life is a beautiful
07:59
thing I think.
08:00
And that's the hard part.
08:01
They're not complimenting our lives because our lives are
08:04
complicated because I've had great guys.
08:07
I have a theory.
08:09
I love the, I have a theory about what's going on over here.
08:14
Ok.
08:14
So like as women at a young age, we're taught how to be literally
08:18
like housewife.
08:19
You have little babies in the playground.
08:21
We're taught how to take care how to love how to nurture.
08:23
Boys are taught how to like shoot guns and fight and play sports
08:27
that there is zero unless they have a father.
08:29
That's a good example of how to be a protector, provider, a
08:32
lover, all these things to a woman.
08:34
Like it's really hard for a man to know how to be a partner, for
08:38
a woman.
08:38
You know what I mean?
08:39
Like they don't get taught that.
08:40
So I think a lot of us in this day and age because we're independent
08:43
and we're kind of like becoming our own man.
08:46
A lot of us like especially us three, I feel from the energy
08:48
like we have a lot of masculinity and femininity and it's like
08:52
we're becoming our own man because a lot of the men aren't showing
08:55
up in their divine masculine.
08:57
You know what I mean?
08:58
That's what is no more, I cannot be my own man.
09:00
No more tired.
09:03
The one to hang the art.
09:04
That's so it's an apartment and not have a man that's when you
09:08
need them the most.
09:09
I need someone to hang with these curtains, but there's, there's
09:13
levels I know.
09:14
I just want to be honest, I think I'm single because I might
09:17
be a little bit of a problem.
09:19
Like I'm super hyper independent when I'm not in a relationship
09:22
When I'm in a relationship, I just get really nervous.
09:25
I need to know where you are.
09:26
I need to know what's going on.
09:28
You have transition.
09:29
That's what it is.
09:30
Thank you.
09:31
I think that's what it is.
09:34
But it's also this age of social media where it's like, I normally
09:37
I hate this narrative that women are in competition with
09:40
each other.
09:40
But, you know, sometimes you see a man following some pretty
09:43
women.
09:43
I'm like, I don't look like that and I get a little nervous any
09:47
time the follower account goes up, I'm like, are you with that
09:51
But also you see sometimes you see the guy that you like liking
09:54
pictures of girls that are maybe half naked.
09:56
But then when you dress like that, it's an issue and I'm like
09:58
well, you're liking the times that happens to me all the time
10:02
that happened to you.
10:03
I've never had that.
10:05
I don't think guys have ever tried to control what I wear, but
10:09
they're liking pictures of girls that we significantly less
10:12
I mean, if I know if I dress like that, it would definitely be
10:15
an issue for them.
10:16
Well, I went on a date, you know, I like to look, well, we are
10:18
getting to know each other.
10:19
Love the friendship so far already.
10:21
Good.
10:22
Um, when I go on dates I like to dress up.
10:24
You know, my little, like I always say, I'm going to show something
10:26
like a little bit of cleavage.
10:27
Yeah.
10:28
You know, just for me.
10:29
But I went on a date with a guy and he told me that it was attracting
10:32
too much attention to the table.
10:33
I'm like, but I saw you.
10:35
Yeah, he did.
10:36
That means this was your first date?
10:38
No, we've been together for a while.
10:40
It's complicated.
10:42
Why is he distracted?
10:44
Why is he looking at everyone else?
10:45
And not like, I don't know, but it made me feel bad because I
10:47
actually got dressed up because I wanted to look cute for him
10:49
and I was like, well, this is very oxymoronic flag but it doesn't
10:54
matter.
10:55
Moving on.
10:55
So dating, we're all single.
10:58
We're looking for new men.
10:59
First thing you look at shoes.
11:01
What does a man's shoe say?
11:02
Oh my God.
11:03
And I know it, it's not life and death but it's exact like the
11:08
second thing you see a guy's shoe, you know, whether you are
11:11
gonna give it a second look or not like, oh for me.
11:13
Yeah, like, I mean, not in a bad way.
11:15
We're not like, you know, it's not cut throat but I, I like,
11:19
that's not my vibe or that's my vibe.
11:21
You know what I mean?
11:23
It also has to do with the whole look, it's the shoe to me.
11:25
It's like the whole look like, what are you imagining how you're
11:27
looking?
11:28
But like, I mean, don't get me wrong.
11:29
I'm not that superficial but I'm just saying it does make a
11:31
difference how dirty it is, how clean they are.
11:35
Like it says a lot about somebody.
11:36
It's like having dirty nails.
11:37
Like if a guy from nails is a big deal, like hands and nails are
11:42
a big deal because if the guy's hands, the nails are jagged
11:45
with dirt underneath, like he's obviously not doing anything
11:49
That's not for a lot of things, for many reasons.
11:53
It's what I'm saying is shoes do play a part.
11:56
You know what I mean?
11:57
What kind of shoes when you're describing the shoe?
11:59
I'm getting converse is that, you know, no, I'm saying like
12:08
the guy you're clearly describing is wearing converse, but
12:11
I don't know what shoe is he wearing.
12:15
I'm just like high top converse like that.
12:18
No, no, no.
12:19
This is a good, I like a converse.
12:23
You like converse guys.
12:25
It's more like I haven't really, I was in middle school when
12:29
I was dating men that were wearing, I haven't dated a grown
12:31
man wearing, I just want to say I say this respectfully.
12:34
I haven't dated a grown man wearing Converse but you're from
12:36
New York.
12:37
I know you guys wear yours and it's Air Force ones, whites,
12:42
the black ones are not ok.
12:43
That man is a, it's just not ok.
12:46
It's not ok.
12:47
I actually did, you know, I do a bunch of comedies and this guy
12:50
was talking about how he only wears black Air Force once.
12:52
I like that makes a lot of sense.
12:53
Your whole personality is black.
12:55
That's not a good personality like that man is going to rob
12:58
you and the bank.
12:59
So now, you know, a red flag is all black flag.
13:02
I just feel like my guys, I just stay true, true.
13:04
New Yorkers.
13:05
And that's why I'm single because there's no New Yorkers here
13:09
like that.
13:10
We're in L A.
13:11
Men in L A are in New York people, the energy.
13:15
East coast, west coast energy.
13:16
I'm learning from you ladies where I'm like, wow, we're all
13:20
so strong but so different.
13:22
I have never thought I'm talking about sneakers drunk.
13:24
I want to get to know you.
13:25
But I never, the guys in, in New York there are always air force
13:28
ones.
13:29
TIMS Jordans.
13:31
What's your preference?
13:33
You like TIMS too.
13:34
Well, you know, it's like for the occasion.
13:36
Do not go on a date with me on Tim's, that's not ok.
13:39
But I don't know the politics behind the thing in New York.
13:44
The first date for New York, like a white, I guess like Clarks
13:50
right?
13:50
Those are like dress shoes.
13:52
I would never take you for a girl.
13:54
I do like a good clark.
13:55
Yeah.
13:56
I don't even know what Clarks are, is outside.
14:02
That's not my type.
14:04
What's your, what are we wearing?
14:05
Listen, if he's wearing cowboy boots that have a little bit
14:09
of dirt on them.
14:09
I've never did a man that was in the wrong.
14:15
I'm aware of this but I'm into cowboy boots and then, yeah,
14:18
air forces.
14:19
I like clinch Jordans.
14:20
That's all cool.
14:21
But cowboy boot just does it for you for me.
14:27
I don't even care if they're a little dirty.
14:28
It's what about cowboy boots that turned you on about it?
14:33
I'm really curious, I think has to do with regional and I can't
14:39
see my current, the guy that I'm in love with.
14:42
If he shows up a cowboy boots, we're going to have a conversation
14:44
See anybody from New York walking around New York in places
14:48
that's not going to be a thing or even, well, LA a little bit
14:51
because a lot of Mexican culture, you know, they're part of
14:54
the rodeos and stuff.
14:55
That's probably why you're single because there's no guys
14:58
around here wearing cowboy boots.
15:00
There's not very many PICO Rivera Rivera, they got the cowboy
15:07
boot references.
15:09
So please teach me.
15:10
What is, that is an event that happens here in L A.
15:13
It's like Mexican Banda.
15:15
Everybody's wearing cowboy boots out there.
15:16
Everybody, you know what?
15:17
I just feel like we're all super Latina.
15:20
And I think the region in which we grew up in reinforces this
15:24
is a kind of because this is what we saw growing up.
15:26
Maybe.
15:26
Did you see cowboy boots growing up?
15:28
So this theory is because I were going to my little Pueblo in
15:34
Mexico my whole life.
15:35
She's like a ranch girl.
15:37
It's a girl born in the city for me.
15:39
I'm from New York.
15:40
We all went to, for the most part public school.
15:42
Every Easter we got our refund checks.
15:44
We all got air force ones and I'm still, I think every New Yorker
15:47
is still living out that dream.
15:48
I'm reliving tax season or whatever, but I just have never
15:53
This is so interesting to me.
15:57
Where did that come from?
15:58
I can see it now.
16:00
Thank you for the, not the, not the, you know, that goes like
16:04
that.
16:05
No, I just like a nice normal cowboy boot.
16:09
Dominican, I can say do not cowboy boos, but Dominican men
16:12
love these very strong business, business class down here
16:16
and like business casual.
16:17
My question is what's more important to you, the shoe or their
16:20
sign?
16:21
Oh bitch, you got me.
16:23
What is more important?
16:25
I'm going to say something controversial to you, but I don't
16:28
know too much about sign.
16:29
So I'm going to be like, ok and that's what we're learning.
16:31
That's what we're learning.
16:31
That's where I live in the sign.
16:34
That's a really good question.
16:35
Yvonne.
16:35
I'm really curious.
16:37
This is hard.
16:38
You go first.
16:40
Their sign for sure is more important to me.
16:42
Yeah.
16:42
Yeah.
16:43
Yeah.
16:43
You have signs that are off limits.
16:45
Yeah.
16:46
I'm so sorry for anyone listening.
16:47
But I think Scorpio, I say that because don't get me wrong.
16:52
I think Scorpios are really sexy but there's something like
16:54
a little too mysterious and it's a little, I don't know who
16:58
you really are.
16:59
You know what I mean?
17:00
I don't really know where you are and then one day you just don't
17:02
talk to me.
17:02
That's the same experience I had with every Scorpio.
17:05
They're just very cut off.
17:07
If they're not down, they know it's too artistic.
17:09
They're so mysterious.
17:10
It's just too much.
17:11
It's like a personality to be like nobody really knows me a
17:14
full time job too.
17:16
I've taken it a few Scorpios.
17:18
It's the same thing.
17:19
So, what are your signs?
17:21
Signs?
17:22
No, no.
17:22
What is your actual sign?
17:23
I'm a Gemini.
17:24
Ok.
17:25
I've dated a Gemini and Gemini.
17:30
Gemini men, not women because I adore you.
17:31
You're Gemini woman and I know it's a different thing.
17:34
But the one Gemini actually I dated two Gemini men.
17:36
Are you?
17:37
Ok.
17:37
I'm still recovering and this was years ago.
17:40
No.
17:40
But yeah, I mean, Geminis look, you, you know, they have the
17:44
reputation of being a little bit, you know, there's two sides
17:48
of them, that whole thing.
17:49
That's the only thing I really know about it.
17:50
And I can say from experience, I did experience that with this
17:53
person.
17:54
Probably the craziest.
17:55
It wasn't even a relationship.
17:56
It was a situationship.
17:57
I hate to say that, but that's the truth.
17:59
We only talked for like a couple of months or whatever, craziest
18:02
whirlwind of a thing.
18:04
I don't even know what to say about.
18:05
Like, I don't have, tell me what happened.
18:07
Did he love bomb you and then completely switched up.
18:10
That's a Gemini man.
18:11
Oh my God.
18:12
You said what I what I'm going through right now.
18:14
So this person who was a Gemini man, loved bomb.
18:18
Did he say he wanted to marry you?
18:19
Oh, that's every Gemini they wanna marry you within a month
18:22
That was the first love bombing is when right at the beginning
18:26
a guy is like showering you with like I like you, I need you giving
18:31
you flowers like literally too much and a girl because we are
18:34
so sensitive.
18:34
We're in, it's amazing.
18:36
But then later it becomes like it's just fake, it's not real
18:40
fake.
18:41
And then the real selves come to the forefront when you guys
18:44
are in private and then they display a completely different
18:46
persons.
18:48
Like I'm not taking this personal, I'm talking about the one
18:53
man that I dated that happened to be Gemini.
18:55
But like I said in the three months, I don't think I've ever
18:58
been through a crazier experience in my life with a man and
19:02
he would always say, oh, I'm Gemini.
19:03
I Gemini and stuff like that.
19:04
And I'm like, oh my God.
19:06
The thing about Geminis is that I love them because they're
19:09
so fun and really passionate.
19:11
But then it could switch in the flip of like what is it?
19:14
Flip of a hat?
19:14
I'm sorry.
19:15
I don't, I don't have good point.
19:16
It switches and what I need as a Libra because I need, I need
19:22
I need a man that's really like the Libra and Gemini is supposed
19:26
to be compatible.
19:27
No, we are for females.
19:29
I love, I love Gemini feel my roommate is a Gemini like we just
19:32
vibe.
19:32
We're both air sign so we flow, we're cool.
19:35
But for some reason for a man, I need like a like an earth sign
19:39
Somebody that keeps me, the more you mature, the more you realize
19:42
the best sign to date is probably a Capricorn man because they
19:46
love money and they'll take care of you and they'll just put
19:48
up with whatever.
19:51
But yeah, I would agree.
19:52
Even though you just drag Gemini men, they are the worst sign
19:54
to date.
19:55
So I feel like I know you made it later.
19:56
We're single ladies better.
19:58
You're single.
19:59
Capricorn Capricorn Gemini.
20:02
This is a good balance.
20:03
If it's an earth sign, that's a Capricorn Torres Virgo.
20:06
He is a horrible man but he's reliable.
20:09
Yeah, he will pay the bills.
20:11
I'm letting you know.
20:12
Fire signs, Aries Leo Sagittarius love to argue if you want
20:17
to just argue with somebody.
20:18
That's your man.
20:19
A sign.
20:20
Libra Gemini and Aquarius.
20:22
If you don't want commitment and you want to be in this situation
20:24
forever having fun.
20:25
That's so where's the positive, the water signs?
20:31
That's Pisces Scorpio and Cancer.
20:34
Actually, I would say the best boyfriend is prior cancer because
20:37
they will just stay in their relationship like they'll never
20:39
break up with you because a personal thing, personal thing
20:43
You think my own experience?
20:45
I mean, a little bit anyways.
20:46
No, but I, I just hate, I hate Geminis too.
20:49
Both of the people that, the reason why I'm a comedian is because
20:52
of Scorpios and Geminis.
20:53
I hate them both.
20:54
Yeah, I hate my own sign.
20:55
Um Do you guys believe in soul mates?
20:57
Yes, I do.
20:59
And I believe we're so dumb.
21:01
I'm dumb.
21:02
Let me explain this though.
21:03
I feel like there isn't one soulmate per person.
21:06
There are so many people, so many people you could be compatible
21:09
with and have an amazing life with where you guys align on so
21:11
many things.
21:12
I think there's multiple soulmates and it's just your job
21:15
to really genuinely first off elevate as a person and then
21:18
attract somebody that meets you at that point.
21:20
You know what I mean?
21:21
Because you're only gonna attract how good of a person you
21:23
are.
21:23
Like you're only gonna, whatever wavelength you're operating
21:26
on, you're only gonna be able to attract that type of person
21:29
because you guys are gonna understand how you guys are functioning
21:31
I feel like your best friends are your soul mates.
21:33
And there are a lot of women like you think about how close we
21:36
are as women.
21:36
Like we sit, we talk about our feelings all the time and we're
21:40
there for each other.
21:41
Even if we do stupid things.
21:42
It's like unconditional love as soulmates.
21:44
That's what we also want in a man.
21:46
But it's hard to find that I would say as I get older, I realize
21:49
the most important relationships are the ones that I have
21:51
with other women.
21:52
Those are the ones that make me the happiest soulmate and everybody
21:55
that's brought trauma to my life has been a man.
21:59
So sorry this listen to play on that trauma in your life.
22:06
I feel that every relationship I've been in has been hard and
22:10
challenging, but they polish you into like the woman you're
22:12
supposed to become.
22:13
If you going through, you get heartbroken, then you will never
22:17
improve on yourself.
22:18
And you're right and that's great and we sound wonderful now
22:21
because I think all of us aren't going when you're going to
22:23
that break and you can't get off that bed.
22:25
So we're on the other side.
22:27
But like literally this time last year, I can pull up pictures
22:30
of me crying.
22:31
I have a whole folder of them on my phone.
22:33
This time last year, I will say this, I got jumped at a restaurant
22:38
12 girls.
22:38
Excuse me.
22:39
This is a real story.
22:40
I was, why did you tell us that just broken up with somebody
22:43
after a year of like really?
22:44
To a toxic thing that I never thought I at 32 years old I could
22:47
be in and then I was just like this bad vibe, energy, dark vibes
22:52
And I was at my sister's birthday, random altercation.
22:55
Nothing happened.
22:56
Our a sweater was at the table and 12 girls, I think we were in
22:59
a gang.
22:59
They were definitely like tat tat it all over.
23:01
Not that it matters but like in their neck, whatever, they
23:03
all jumped me because I, because I was trying to get the sweater
23:06
and they're like, that's not yours.
23:07
And I was in my bed for like a month concussion and I was like
23:11
over a guy over, no.
23:13
Oh this is just out of the blue.
23:14
But I was saying that this time last year, over, over like the
23:17
heartbreak and I, I feel like I attracted it even though like
23:20
I was gonna do it.
23:21
I was in a low vibrational thing that somehow I got involved
23:24
So I was this year, this time last year, I was literally in bed
23:27
sitting like just healing myself from all the toxicity that
23:30
I went through and not just that and then getting beat up by
23:33
like who does that in L A?
23:34
It's not me.
23:38
Not at 32 32 in my twenties.
23:43
This is a great way to learn more about each other.
23:45
Who here has been jumped.
23:47
You have, you've been doing girl?
23:50
Yeah.
23:51
But what it was my own fault.
23:55
Did you jump them or?
23:56
No?
23:56
No, no, no.
23:57
One thing I can appreciate is you own your shit, girl.
24:00
You own all of them.
24:01
I've grown up so much.
24:02
I'm going to be in my Jesus year like I am owning everything
24:06
I see is the best year I got jumped twice.
24:09
Oh God.
24:10
Yeah, but you don't have to go into that where I was going where
24:14
I was going with it is that you said that now we're on the other
24:16
side, right on the other side.
24:18
Like from where I was last year at this point to where I am now
24:21
it took a lot of freaking work.
24:23
Like I took a lot of, I feel like by myself and sitting and crying
24:27
and like looking in the mirror like what's going on?
24:29
Like Yvonne, like what's going on?
24:31
Why am I attracting this?
24:32
Like, why am I OK with this?
24:34
Like and staying in a relationship that I know is not for me
24:36
but like I'm trying to fix it.
24:38
It's like the resisting thing, right?
24:41
In relationships that we know are not going on.
24:44
What is it?
24:44
Because I don't know if I'm in one of those situations right
24:47
now, but I'm like, he feels like a soulmate So I think that's
24:50
the thing about the soulmate story where I'm like, I'm telling
24:52
myself this narrative.
24:53
This is my soulmate.
24:54
This is my soulmate, but I'm not completely happy.
24:57
But I feel like on the other side, if I just wait a little bit
25:00
longer, he's going to, and I've been, to be honest, I've been
25:02
waiting for two years.
25:03
I feel like he's going to get it together.
25:05
And I think that a woman's intuition is really on point.
25:08
And it takes a lot of experience though.
25:10
Your intuition, you feel like your intuition is telling you
25:12
this is my intuition is telling me 100% is my soul mate.
25:16
But my brain is like, maybe not right now.
25:20
Ok.
25:20
That's exactly what it is.
25:21
Is it not right now because of you or because of, because of
25:24
him.
25:24
But also maybe sometimes, you know, we have things happening
25:26
for us and we don't like, I could never really be in a relationship
25:29
I'm bi, you have a humble in New York.
25:33
I'm, it's my new personality.
25:35
I'm bi coasts and yeah, I'm working, I'm doing stand up, I'm
25:40
out every single night and maybe God or the universe, whatever
25:43
you believe in doesn't want me to be in a relationship.
25:45
And I just, I want to be with this person, but I like it doesn't
25:48
even make sense right now.
25:49
What I've learned is if you have to force something or if there's
25:52
any resistance or you're not feeling good.
25:54
It's just not the time you have to really respect divine timing
25:59
Like that's how I feel.
26:00
And it takes a while to learn that because you like, if you get
26:03
heartbroken your ego is like, what the fuck a guy?
26:05
He's the one for me.
26:05
But in reality it's like, no, he's not.
26:07
If he was, he would be, it would be easy.
26:10
We do, we have effects.
26:14
Like the one thing, my dad, my dad has three daughters and he's
26:17
like, not that he's not protective dad.
26:18
He's very, he just has like a couple of things.
26:20
Like when it comes to any guy that I date, he'll say one thing
26:24
like, oh, he's nice.
26:26
But my dog is nice.
26:27
I'm gonna him that things you say when, you know, you know,
26:31
that's it.
26:32
You know.
26:32
You know, he said love is easy when it's really meant for you
26:36
It's easy.
26:37
And I also wanted to add to that when people say you need to work
26:40
on a relationship, it's work, work, meaning two people are
26:44
working on it.
26:44
Not just one person because, and that's just forcing it and
26:47
that's just forcing something that's maybe not for you.
26:49
I think when it's work it's like, it's not going to be easy.
26:51
But if both people, both parties, the boy and the girl are like
26:55
you know what?
26:55
I am going to stand by your side, let's communicate.
26:58
Yeah.
26:58
I'm not really happy.
26:59
You're not really happy.
26:59
Let's fix it.
27:00
That's when the real work begins.
27:01
But it takes two people.
27:03
Not one person.
27:04
I think the work is you have to be responsible for yourself
27:07
I think part of the issue that I'm having with this, a Gemini
27:10
man is I should have said that, but I'm not making him famous
27:13
anyways, the Gemini man is that I feel like I'm working on myself
27:16
I'd be, generally I'd be talking on stage about my Yeah, I've
27:20
been doing all that stuff but I feel like I'm doing both of our
27:22
homeworks and it's like you have to, being a human being is
27:24
constant work and just to not put the gender on it like we both
27:28
need to work like even in friendship, like the reason why my
27:30
friendships work now is because I know where I went bad as a
27:33
bad friend and now I'm able to say and to comment on that.
27:36
I feel like a lot of guys just don't have the opportunity to
27:39
talk about their feelings like they're not sitting around
27:41
like us like, so how do you feel?
27:44
Right?
27:44
They're like, what's up with?
27:45
Watch the game, whatever I'm being ty right now.
27:47
But the truth is they never were raised to be super comfortable
27:50
with their emotions.
27:51
So how are they going to know how to even like in a like in a real
27:55
way?
27:55
Like they're gonna sit down in a journal on the beach and, like
27:57
have meditation music.
27:59
Yeah, exactly what you should be doing.
28:00
But that's what we are here is like, I think that we can really
28:02
influence a man to be their best, best version.
28:04
But I don't want to do his homework.
28:06
I've been doing that all my life.
28:07
We can leave everyone's homework.
28:08
We can lead the horse to water.
28:10
And if they're down, they could drink it.
28:11
If they're not, they're not for you.
28:13
You can make the horse drink.
28:15
What's the metaphor?
28:16
You can't make him drink water.
28:17
You can leave the horse to water, but you can't force him to
28:20
drink.
28:20
So I wanna just recap.
28:22
So you like cowboy boots?
28:26
I like air force ones.
28:27
And what's your preferred sneaker?
28:29
We never got to the bottom of that.
28:31
I love that.
28:31
I don't know if I was going to give you converse anyways, I think
28:34
No, no, I think Jordan Jordan a nice Jordan.
28:39
I'm done for many things.
28:41
I don't discriminate.
28:42
And then we, we'll go on a triple date and the man's wearing
28:46
Palo shoes and you're like that and you're going to roast him
28:48
you know, so we got the shoes, we got our signs, we got soul
28:53
mates.
28:53
I kind of want to know more about where we are in just in our journeys
28:58
We're all really great.
28:59
Career, woman, career driven.
29:01
You're stirring.
29:02
I can't speak English sometimes I'm like you stirring.
29:07
Yeah, like you're doing acting, you're a host.
29:10
I'm doing comedy.
29:11
Like I want to talk about how did you get here?
29:13
You're talking about this time last year, you were in a really
29:15
dark place.
29:15
How did you get out?
29:17
Your life is completely different totally.
29:19
And it's because for the first time I was like, ok, I'm choosing
29:21
myself, like, I'm going to stop putting all my energy in this
29:24
man and all the problems that we're dealing with and focusing
29:27
on myself.
29:27
I remember I was laying in bed with a concussion, black eye
29:29
busted late.
29:30
My mom goes, did you take pictures?
29:32
I have pictures.
29:32
We'll put, I'll show you we're not putting that up.
29:34
I picked it was out of but it was like a sign.
29:38
It was like, I feel like in order to evolve, like sometimes
29:41
you have to really hit rock bottom to be like, ok, let's go for
29:45
you.
29:45
That was one like I have had a few, but that was one that was ok
29:48
You know what Ivan, what are you doing?
29:49
Wasting your time with something that's not serving you.
29:52
Like wake up and I was in bed, my mom and I'm going to Europe and
29:55
I was going to Europe in the summer and mom was like, you know
29:56
what, this summer when we're in Europe, why don't you take
29:58
acting class?
29:59
The, the theater class in London?
30:01
And I was like, mom, thank you.
30:03
I ended up taking the class in London for a month and like you've
30:06
changed me, got my confidence back.
30:08
I started doing all the work healing therapy.
30:10
It like just focusing on taking all that 80% of energy that
30:14
was focusing on a man and put it all in myself and like it, it
30:17
sounds selfish, but in reality, it's like in order to love
30:21
anybody else, you have to fill your cup up first.
30:23
You know what I mean?
30:24
You have to learn that until again my thirties that like you
30:27
really can't give other people unless you feel full because
30:29
you're gonna always be drained.
30:30
Like the math is not gonna math.
30:31
And you know what, five years ago, three years ago when I was
30:34
also my first heartbreak, I googled like, how do I love myself
30:37
I literally googled it because I didn't know what that meant
30:41
You know, I hate when people give you this missive advice.
30:43
Like you need to love yourself, but nobody really knows what
30:46
that looks like.
30:47
So to you, what does that look like to love yourself?
30:49
What did you do to do that?
30:51
I'm curious because everybody's different.
30:53
You know, I really, you know what I had to do, which was really
30:55
hard.
30:56
I had to fix the inner monologue that I had.
30:58
I had a really nasty monologue and sometimes it comes back
31:01
it's like you're not good enough or whatever.
31:03
And I had to because of stand up, stand up is so subjective.
31:06
You really need to be so confident, like, kind of a little delusional
31:10
that everything is going to work out.
31:12
And I was like, I have to just really believe him.
31:13
I don't have any other option.
31:15
I was unemployed.
31:16
I was pretty much about to be evicted from my crib.
31:19
It was right before the pandemic came and I was like, I need
31:21
to, I need to figure it.
31:22
I had no option but to love myself.
31:25
Did you do that?
31:25
Well, I got this thing from the government called unemployment
31:28
checks.
31:28
That was type one that helps a lot with my career.
31:34
Thank you so much, America.
31:37
Thank you.
31:38
Thank you for your contribution.
31:39
I'll tell you one thing I Googled recently.
31:41
Does drinking affect a man's testosterone?
31:44
Ok.
31:45
You're invested.
31:46
Does it, does, it does, I can see that it does, it makes it lower
31:51
it lowers the testosterone of a man if they drink a lot.
31:53
Really?
31:54
I don't even know what I Googled.
31:56
I Googled is Tessa Thompson dating Pedro Pascal.
32:01
It came off my tiktok, my business.
32:03
Ok.
32:03
I think my last one was just warm water and lemon salt.
32:07
Is that good for you?
32:08
In the mornings?
32:09
It's the best for you.
32:10
You are healthy, warm water with lemon and salt, good for you
32:13
And it is everybody that's watching this warm water with lemon
32:16
and salt.
32:17
Ok.
32:18
I guess I'm really into relationships.
32:22
Alejandro Rosalia.
32:23
I wanted to see a timeline of the relationship I was very invested
32:27
I googled myself.
32:29
That's important.
32:30
I'm pretty sure I know Jen Shah.
32:33
I wanted to know what she did on the housewives.
32:36
I don't know.
32:36
Sometimes I say things in the news.
32:38
I'm like, why is this such a big deal?
32:40
So I wanted to know what she did.
32:42
Um, oh, I looked up at the Gwyneth Paltrow thing.
32:47
Yeah.
32:48
I don't know why she's on trial.
32:49
I don't get it.
32:49
She's on trial because somebody, somebody, um, somebody
32:53
said that she was reckless skiing and hit, she hit them and
32:56
now, you know, he, he's going through it.
32:59
Thank you for the background.
33:00
I had no idea.
33:00
I was like, the whole scandal.
33:02
That's the whole thing.
33:03
I was like, why are you in court with this big ass turtleneck
33:05
Ok.
33:05
But I wanted to bring up something because I know, oh, sorry
33:10
I was like, ok, because I was thinking about what you guys
33:12
were talking about in regards to like your career and especially
33:14
like you because, well, actually both of you guys equally
33:18
something that's really big that I know like career women
33:20
that work in the entertainment space to whatever capacity
33:22
because you're an actress, you're so, you're a lot of things
33:25
you're obviously a comedian and a producer and you do all
33:27
these things.
33:27
So, like imposture syndrome for me has been something that
33:29
I've struggled with since the beginning.
33:32
And it's crazy because I've been in my business for about 10
33:34
years now.
33:35
And I still feel a sense of like I walk into a room, I still feel
33:38
like I'm an intern like I need to prove myself, I'm going to
33:41
show my best face forward.
33:43
Like I could never, I could never imagine myself walking into
33:45
a room and just feeling like, yeah, I deserve to be here.
33:49
I know I deserve to be here.
33:50
But I always know every time I get a new project or gig, I need
33:53
to earn my stripes, I need to go in there and put my best foot
33:56
forward.
33:56
How do you guys deal with the imposter syndrome of like, that's
33:59
kind of what we deal with a lot of the times every time we get
34:01
a new gig that it's a really good topic because I have felt that
34:04
for a long time and not until last year, did I get to say I'm an
34:09
actress and I'm 33 years old because I wanted to earn saying
34:13
that, you know what I mean?
34:14
Like I didn't want to be like, I'm an actress because in my heart
34:16
I knew.
34:16
But in order to say that I was, I had to kind of have like a job
34:21
underneath my belt, you know, and it's kind of like it comes
34:23
with the confidence, it comes with the confidence of being
34:25
like I deserve to be here.
34:27
I know I worked my butt off to be here and I'm going to own it.
34:30
But it takes, that comes with self love too.
34:33
Like it's all part of it.
34:34
You know, it's all part of it and language, how important is
34:36
like language because think about it, if I walk into a room
34:39
and say, you know what I want to be a host, I want to be a radio
34:42
personality.
34:42
That's cool.
34:43
You're putting out into the universe you want to.
34:44
But what about you walk into a room and say I am an actress.
34:47
I am a radio.
34:48
I am a comedian.
34:50
You're already embodying that and the power of God and the
34:53
power of the universe is the universe.
34:58
When I first started, I decided I was going to be delusional
35:01
That's how I found confidence.
35:03
You need that realize that nobody knows what they're doing
35:07
You're like, OK, um I'm gonna do the same thing but just be better
35:10
at it like nobody, nobody, there's somebody at every job that
35:13
doesn't know what the fuck they're doing at the beginning
35:15
There, there might be somebody here at the beginning I will
35:23
say is that what makes you like not being posted anymore is
35:26
when you have enough experience and you are prepared that
35:29
you have the confidence to be like, yo, I deserve like I was
35:33
I, I'm an expert.
35:35
I think sometimes I, especially as women of color, we put a
35:38
lot of extra, extra hard out of the criticism on ourselves
35:43
What's that word where you're hurting yourself.
35:45
I don't know, you put a lot of criticism weight on.
35:50
We need to earn this thing where there.
35:52
So when I first started sharing them in my planner every year
35:55
I start with a quote and my year was like, have as much confidence
35:57
as a white man.
35:58
And let me tell you, I'm doing so much better than in comedy
36:00
Like I didn't even know this whole shit of it.
36:03
So you make it.
36:04
I can't believe I'm here.
36:06
It wasn't until I'm about to be five years into comedy in a few
36:09
weeks.
36:09
And I'm like, yo, I'm a dead ass comedian.
36:13
So I think part of it is you have to be a little delusional.
36:16
That might be better.
36:17
You have to believe, to be crazy enough to believe in yourself
36:20
so much that you're like, I'm about to take this task on why
36:24
not you?
36:26
They told you that you an actress who said that, like, how many
36:28
times have you looked on the TV?
36:30
And, and look at them and say, you know what I know I can do that
36:33
sometimes even better or just as good.
36:36
And it's like, why am I not there?
36:38
Well, they actually have confidence and they actually put
36:41
themselves in a position to be there.
36:43
And also I think a little bit and this might be tangential.
36:47
But I'm also like, I'm, I'm about to be 33.
36:50
I'm trying to find a nice way to say I'm an old bitch.
36:52
I feel old and I'm like, I really need to, I don't have no more
36:55
time to waste.
36:56
Like, if I was in my twenties I could play around with like,
36:58
I'm like, no, this is who I am.
36:59
This is what I'm doing.
37:00
And I've also done so much of what I don't want to do that.
37:02
I'm like, oh, I'm going to be doing this forever.
37:04
So I think, I guess it's experience and it's experience with
37:07
everything with everyone.
37:08
It's like you need to have like 10 years, not 10 years, but under
37:11
your belt to be like, I'm an expert in those 10 years for the
37:14
majority of our lives were in our twenties, which we were also
37:18
navigating dating.
37:19
And I will say like I said, a lot of my earlier relationships
37:23
failed because I was in my selfish era, which is me.
37:26
I'm going to work.
37:27
I remember one of my first boyfriends.
37:29
Actually, my first real boyfriend broke up with me and I was
37:34
in bed.
37:35
I was a freshman in college and I could not even keep my eyes
37:38
open from how exhausted I was.
37:39
I was working at Univision at 4 a.m. in the morning producing
37:46
I mean, like I was averaging three hours of sleep and he was
37:48
like yelling at me like Jess Jess, like I'm ending things with
37:51
you.
37:52
Like all you do is work, you have no time for me.
37:53
And I could not physically even stay awake while he was breaking
37:56
up with.
37:57
Now, I don't, I don't.
37:59
Exactly.
38:01
Exactly.
38:02
Not Arlington.
38:04
Well, we're so cool.
38:05
Well, we're not talking.
38:06
I think I'm doing the opposite now.
38:07
I think now I'm for sure of myself before I was such a rom com
38:10
Like, I want to get married.
38:12
I want to be in love because it's just like I want to buy a house
38:15
I really don't.
38:15
I heard it was hard but yeah, I'm renting, right.
38:19
I heard it was hard.
38:20
But I think now in my selfish era where it's like I want to get
38:25
my comedy special and no one's going to stop me from doing that
38:27
And I know when I'm in a relationship, I'd be so romantic.
38:30
I won't even go to, I'll tell you one thing.
38:32
There's also relationships that if you meet somebody, you
38:36
guys can really glow up together.
38:38
There is somebody that they can meet you on the same level.
38:41
I mean, I don't know, I'm guessing you can't just be giving
38:44
that advice and you don't have to.
38:47
I heard in the movie and that's the keyword in that movie.
38:51
That movie.
38:51
This is my theory.
38:52
This is not my theory.
38:53
This is my perspective.
38:54
If you're in your twenties and you're still in your trying
38:57
to find yourself selfish era in your finding your purpose
39:00
era, you guys can do that together.
39:02
But if you're in your thirties and you're still finding yourself
39:04
and you want me to help you do that or grow up with you?
39:08
Do you still feel like you have imposter syndrome?
39:10
Still?
39:11
Now, after all, I have imposter syndrome because I know I can
39:14
do, I can go in and do a job really well.
39:16
And I know I'm going to be professional and as easy to work with
39:18
as possible.
39:19
But I walk in every single time with pressure on myself.
39:22
OK?
39:22
I think that's a beautiful thing and I honestly think about
39:25
it.
39:26
Exactly.
39:26
And the minute that you walk into a room and you don't care about
39:29
doing good with your job, then find another job.
39:31
You're in the wrong room.
39:32
You can stand up if you're nervous before you go on stage.
39:34
That's a good thing.
39:35
Same with acting, you're nervous.
39:36
That means you care, the more nervous I am, the more I'm like
39:40
yo, I really care about that.
39:41
Remind me of a guy.
39:42
You know, when you're with a guy that you really like, you can't
39:45
even be yourself because you're so nervous.
39:46
OK?
39:46
Why is that a thing?
39:48
That is such a thing?
39:49
I heard that wasn't your soulmate.
39:50
If you have flies, motherfuckers may make you show up every
39:52
day on the internet.
39:53
But I heard that wasn't your soulmate truthfully because
39:54
there was a guy that I was kind of talking to not too, too long
39:57
ago, but I couldn't even be myself.
40:01
I'm not going to come.
40:04
He said no nicknames yet there was no nickname.
40:07
It was very brief.
40:08
It was nothing at all serious by any means.
40:10
However, I remember we talked on the phone a couple of times
40:13
and I was like, why am I not being myself?
40:16
I'm so nervous.
40:17
I'm like, see, this is what I say, I've been.
40:22
You should feel like this person is your best friend, not even
40:25
off the bad, but it's like, yo, I feel comfortable.
40:26
I can eat my chicken wings in front of you.
40:28
If you can't eat in front of this man, that's not your man.
40:31
Really.
40:32
The problem is I can eat in front of any man.
40:33
That's a problem.
40:34
I can eat in front of the president of the United States.
40:36
I don't care if you say that.
40:38
Now, let's pull him up.
40:41
I eat chicken wings in Joe right now.
40:43
I really know.
40:44
I think you should feel like that person is your friend and
40:47
that's why I don't like and this might be another tangent.
40:49
I'm a gemini.
40:50
Everyone should know that.
40:52
But that's why I don't like, I don't like walking on the park
40:55
dates, but I don't like going on a dinner date on the first date
40:58
because it's too much pressure.
40:59
I'm going to be honest sometimes I don't know what fork to use
41:04
No, it's the whole thing.
41:05
I, it's just like etiquette.
41:08
I don't like that very expensive fancy dinner when he las I
41:12
don't need that.
41:13
I don't want you to lobster date on the first date.
41:21
But when I do it's just like, what, what's the really fancy
41:25
dating app in L A?
41:27
You never done?
41:30
Never will.
41:31
Because I'm not even looking for that type of man if you have
41:32
to be accepted.
41:33
It's not my type of man.
41:34
I like a blue collar man.
41:36
You want that man that earned his late in.
41:40
I mean, I think that's easy to find.
41:42
You can find a blue collar man.
41:43
That is a good man.
41:45
I think you need to go to New York.
41:47
I promise you he's there.
41:48
Yeah, your blue collar man.
41:51
What is it?
41:51
Fort Knox is Fort Knox.
41:55
Fort Worth for?
41:58
I don't know anything about geography either.
42:00
Is Fort Knox, Florida, is it, this is what we have Google for
42:03
Let's go Fort Worth I feel like is definitely more my Fort Worth
42:08
Where is Fort Knox?
42:08
Is it a part of history?
42:10
Fort Worth Dallas?
42:11
That's where we're taking our girls trip.
42:13
Ok.
42:13
No, I'm down and then we'll go to where we can only test our friendship
42:18
if we do a girls trip.
42:19
So production in Texas, I want to know your last tweet.
42:24
Ok.
42:25
First off, this is a source subject.
42:26
I had a Twitter for 10 years.
42:29
Somebody hacked it.
42:30
I wanna say a month ago and I lost everything.
42:33
Everything an Australian pretending to be a Bitcoin investor
42:38
took over all my stuff and then everybody reported it.
42:40
Now it's just like no 1 10 years of my life, I'm not over it.
42:45
I think about tweeting.
42:46
I'd be thinking of tweets and I'm like, oh tweeting, honestly
42:49
Twitter is not a great platform.
42:50
People being in your business is too much.
42:51
You can't even tweet one thing without getting dragged.
42:54
So now I have a private Twitter but then people started following
42:56
me for real.
42:56
So I don't want to tweet anymore.
42:58
I was supposed to complain about, wait, can we talk about talk
43:01
You're like, what is this, Rihanna?
43:03
I really want to because you do look like Rihanna.
43:05
But I'm curious, you went viral.
43:07
You do look like Rihanna.
43:08
I want to know what you went viral off of.
43:10
So honestly, it is a back story.
43:11
Thank you for asking.
43:14
I actually am really hard on myself because I'm not good with
43:17
social media.
43:17
You see me post, excuse me.
43:21
Now I know how you feel.
43:22
I went viral if you pull up the tiktok.
43:24
Look at my friends like my mom, my mom said, don't let the haters
43:28
get to you, but I was talking about China there but don't put
43:30
that in the podcast.
43:31
Oh my God, I'm taking away question about social media and
43:33
how you guys feel about you guys both influencers major.
43:36
I'm not a major influencer.
43:39
No, I'm just a great comedian.
43:41
You just put your content out there and people I just I don't
43:43
really consider in which you got 5 million views on your Rihanna
43:46
video views.
43:51
It was you on both videos.
43:54
Let me clarify.
43:54
It was two of them.
43:55
I was actually beating myself up because I feel like when you
43:58
do internet content, you feel like you should capitalize
44:01
on pop culture events.
44:02
I was like, I don't have anything for the Super Bowl.
44:04
This was my moment for people to think that I like Rihanna.
44:06
So what did you do?
44:07
What I usually do?
44:08
Like walk and talk videos on my way to shows where I'm just talking
44:11
or complaining about shit because that's my personality
44:14
and I was like, I just pretend to be Rihanna.
44:15
It was very simple.
44:17
Like I didn't even overthink it.
44:19
So when I picked up my phone, I'm like, yo, what's up all these
44:21
on?
44:21
I'm like, yo, I viral.
44:24
Do you think that as a comedian going viral is like something
44:26
you a big step for?
44:29
There's a lot of comedians out when you're ready because then
44:31
I got super overwhelmed and I don't feel like I capitalized
44:34
on the moment I wasn't ready for it.
44:36
This is Brianna struggling to use a Metro card.
44:39
Oh my God.
44:41
But the, the reason why the video was so funny was because I
44:45
wasn't even trying.
44:46
I mean, was this the one in my life?
44:47
No, no, no.
44:48
It, it's just so many videos I'd be talking every day.
44:50
OK.
44:51
When you know that your videos doing numbers or you're going
44:53
viral.
44:54
Do you get nervous?
44:54
Do you get a little bit nervous?
44:56
I only say this because I, for the most part, it's only my followers
44:59
that will see my stuff.
45:00
But then the one time my videos have hit a million, 2 million
45:03
on and Instagram, then you get an influx of people that don't
45:06
follow, you don't know anything about you and then they just
45:09
go ham on you on your appearance on what you're saying.
45:12
Just some haters, people that don't know anything about you
45:15
as a comic.
45:16
I thought that shit was hilarious.
45:17
I'm like the fact that you can't read.
45:19
That's not my problem because I never said I was Rihanna.
45:21
You're the one that thought I was.
45:23
So I made a whole video of responding to the comments of like
45:26
it's not my problem that you don't have media literacy skills
45:29
It's true though.
45:30
I can't teach you how to read because I remember I did a video
45:33
of me like pretending I was Selena Selena Quintanilla.
45:40
Let's pull that video and oh my God, so many people came at me
45:44
like look at this girl trying to think she's Selena, she's
45:48
passed away, let her rest.
45:50
And I'm like, I'm appreciating how did you get over that?
45:54
Because it seems like you took it personally.
45:56
I did at first and I'm like, you know what?
45:58
These are just some bored people that they just have so much
46:01
anger and hate in their heart and you have to realize a lot of
46:03
the times these haters are projecting their own shit on.
46:06
Absolutely.
46:06
But a lot of people don't live life, they're just on the internet
46:09
So I don't think that a person that's kind of my life is not online
46:11
My life is on stage or right here, that's not my life.
46:16
So I, whenever I put something out, I'm like, you know what
46:19
whatever comes back engagement.
46:21
Thank you.
46:22
Thank you.
46:23
You're paying I think one time I was in a video, this is so personal
46:28
but I was in a video and I wasn't wearing a bra.
46:30
So someone said I had torpedo titties.
46:32
Is that even mean my titties were kind of like impossible titties
46:39
and and that comment still stays with me.
46:43
We could pull it up.
46:44
But later it's a different network.
46:45
So I don't want to stay with you.
46:51
But I thought, I mean, that's why loving on yourself makes
46:54
a difference because at one point you're like, ok, whatever
46:57
it says more about you than it says about me.
46:59
But can I say something?
47:00
And that's why I'm actually having a backwards experience
47:02
Now, I'm starting to understand how social media works before
47:05
I was just like, when you go to my page, I'd really be talking
47:07
in third person like I'm mad delusional.
47:09
So I understand why people would be like, why are you lying
47:11
on the internet.
47:12
I'm like, because none of this is real.
47:13
This is comedy for me.
47:15
But for me, whenever I go on stage, I always say I have to feel
47:18
good before I go on stage because everyone might not like me
47:21
I have to be so confident.
47:23
One time I did a show and I was really insecure because I was
47:27
gaining weight.
47:28
It's something that my, my weight fluctuates and I had said
47:31
something about Happy New Year, whatever.
47:32
And I set my resolution and somebody he was participating
47:36
But he was like, oh, you're going to go to the gym this year and
47:38
because I had walked out the house being insecure about that
47:40
I thought he was attacking me.
47:42
So IOD Ed on him, I was like, come on stage, I was so mad, but that's
47:46
why you have to own yourself before you post anything.
47:48
Everything I'm saying right now, I'm OK.
47:50
I live my life.
47:51
I'm living my life, I'm learning.
47:52
So if you want to criticize me, I'm OK to take the fee.
47:55
That's why the selfish era is so important because that's
47:57
when you build your confidence because I feel like a lot of
48:00
us, we build our confidence, we doing what we love to do.
48:03
And when we feel confident, you know, on stage, doing a show
48:07
or you're doing a ho you're hosting a, a game or hosting whatever
48:10
like you feel like, you know, you're worth and you're like
48:13
so nothing is not, not a little comment from some random guy
48:16
is not gonna affect you, ok?
48:18
On the internet that had no guts to do what you're doing, what
48:20
you doing.
48:21
And now like back in the day we got that we value ourselves through
48:24
like people's comments like, oh they alike, they like us,
48:27
they like us and then that as easy as they liked us, one comment
48:30
can break us down.
48:31
But now doing the work being selfish in the sense of like doing
48:36
what we love gives us this confidence.
48:37
Like it doesn't matter what you say because I'm doing what
48:39
I love.
48:40
And also that inner monologue and having good friends like
48:42
you need to have good.
48:43
Have you ever read The untethered Soul?
48:45
No, but that sounds good.
48:46
It's a book that talks about the inner monologue, like your
48:49
ego.
48:49
And it says, like, imagine if that person was your roommate
48:53
and he's like that, that you're ugly.
48:55
Get up.
48:55
How are you doing?
48:57
Like, imagine if that person was sitting next to you saying
48:59
that to you, you would never hang out with the one that you like
49:02
you're, you're, you're a b you're negative and you're saying
49:05
imagine that and that's what we're doing to ourselves that
49:07
really make sure that that's really good.
49:10
The book I, so that was the only chapter I read.
49:17
You just giving out advice.
49:19
If you didn't read the whole, I was like, y you changed my life
49:23
You who are we hanging out with the most, every single day ourselves
49:27
Let's make it a pleasant experience.
49:30
Wake up every morning instead of looking at ourselves like
49:32
damn, I always look at myself in the mirror and I think to myself
49:35
I look like a raccoon.
49:36
I look like a crazy, don't give the people am ie and like, I,
49:47
that's just how we are going to put a picture up and now the comments
49:52
they like she kind of does it like that.
49:55
I love me like literally me in the mornings in my hood because
50:02
my mom who's home from Mexico doesn't want to turn on is dry
50:06
and I wake up in the morning.
50:08
No eyelashes, no lashes.
50:10
That's what I feel like you look like a naked mora.
50:13
No, seriously.
50:14
But I sometimes I feel really pretty when I don't have makeup
50:19
on is you.
50:22
No, when you're moisturized, it's like there's a beauty when
50:25
I see a woman with no makeup.
50:26
I'm like, wow, that's so refreshing.
50:27
Wait, wait, can you agree with me?
50:29
Have you guys ever walked into like a gas station or like a store
50:32
No makeup full blown bum, full blown.
50:35
I don't want to make eye contact with anybody but you get hit
50:37
on the most shines.
50:43
You could see somebody fully without covering them.
50:46
When I am wearing full makeup, full glam.
50:48
Nobody will come up to me.
50:49
You'll get look, they think that you're like, no, no.
50:54
That's the same thing with curly hair and straight.
50:56
I straight my hair every day.
50:57
But any time I wear it curly, that's the only time people come
51:00
up in my head.
51:01
I'm like, I pay $50 once a week to get this and nobody says a damn
51:05
thing.
51:05
The second that I wake up with curly hair looking like a crazy
51:08
like sense Ivana, they like being natural is really beautiful
51:13
I just wanna make, I think this is a beautiful message but I'm
51:15
gonna continue wearing my makeup for all of this.
51:18
No, I'm kidding.
51:19
No, I agree.
51:20
I don't really wear that much makeup.
51:22
When I go on stage, I want to make sure that when you see me, I'm
51:24
the same person, I'm going to get scared of.
51:26
I'm always wearing my and then see me see the opposite for me
51:30
I'd be looking crazy.
51:32
So I've never really been inside a gas station like that.
51:35
Only because I'm sorry, I don't drive from New York.
51:39
You don't have your license or a permit.
51:43
We're learning, you're moving to L A Uber and we talked about
51:49
something also like when you're becoming your full self in
51:51
your selfish era and your family that you most are close with
51:56
you have to cut some people off that aren't supporting you
51:59
Luckily, my family has been really supportive, but I have
52:02
cut up friends that I'm like or when I make new friends.
52:06
I'm very hesitant about letting them into my space.
52:08
I work so much on myself and I don't want to have to explain that
52:11
to you.
52:11
If I say, hey, I don't want to do this.
52:13
It's because I know that you're going to push me and I'm going
52:16
to have an attitude, then you're going to say I'm a moody gemini
52:18
and then I'll be mad at you and I have a whole process and I'm
52:20
like, I need some boundaries, I guess where it's like if I say
52:23
I don't want to talk about something, I want to talk about it
52:25
Yes, I've cut off so many friends in my twenties.
52:28
I don't talk to them.
52:29
I feel like with a Latina family you're really influenced
52:32
by your parents and your sisters and your whole life, you're
52:35
like, actually I won't do that.
52:36
I won't do that.
52:37
I won't do that.
52:37
I forgot that I have a cousin that did get on my nerves recently
52:40
I did cut her off.
52:40
Sorry, my bad.
52:41
But it's really, even if it's your own sister saying something
52:45
if you believe that you can do this, you need to forget about
52:49
that without disrespecting them.
52:50
You know what I mean?
52:50
I think family is the hardest.
52:53
If you don't have a solid family that they don't believe in
52:56
what you're doing, it can fuck with your mental, especially
52:59
these kind of careers where you really to do what we're doing
53:02
You have to believe in yourself so much and you have to have
53:05
such, it's not a linear career with.
53:08
You don't know what the output is in.
53:09
It's not like OK, my brother, for instance, he's a doctor.
53:11
You said linear and that's perfect because my brother is a
53:13
doctor.
53:13
There are steps, you cannot move away from the system.
53:16
It's you at school, undergrad, grad test whatever.
53:19
Step one, step two and then you do your whole thing like internship
53:22
whatever for whatever we're doing, there is no blue print
53:26
there is no pathway.
53:28
It's OK.
53:28
You get this opportunity to kill it.
53:29
Hopefully you get referred to the next one.
53:31
Hopefully it is like up and down twisted one day, you're on
53:35
top of the world the next day, you feel like you're hitting
53:36
rock bottom, which we've all experienced multiple, multiple
53:39
times.
53:39
And the thing about that is is that, you know, Latinos, I feel
53:42
like a lot of the times want something a little bit more secure
53:44
My brother is a doctor, my parents love that he's a doctor.
53:46
My other brother is a business owner, it is stable income.
53:48
And then me being woman on top of the fact that I'm a woman, they're
53:52
like, well, you're doing something that's kind of unstable
53:54
and they know that there's a lot of evilness that happens in
53:57
our industries and a lot of weird influences and they're scared
54:00
of that as well.
54:01
So they've always been super scared about me doing something
54:03
a little bit nontraditional.
54:04
You know what I mean?
54:05
When I went to high school I graduated and my dad's a doctor
54:08
too and in Latino families.
54:13
And so even though I knew I wanted to be an actress, it didn't
54:16
seem like a tan thing because there's no, like, steps to it
54:19
So I became a sports broadcaster.
54:21
I was like, OK, I'm gonna go to University of Miami.
54:22
I'm gonna study, I did sports for the past 10 years.
54:24
And then another thing I got hit by a car, I was on a bird on a scooter
54:28
I hit by a car until the 19 like 12 tables in my head.
54:31
Concussion.
54:32
I woke up and I was like, we gotta, I, I, I'm catching a break
54:35
now.
54:37
If I say something wrong, it's because my head got hit a couple
54:39
times.
54:39
But the truth is that when I got hit by the car, I was like, wait
54:42
life is really short and you have to really do what you love
54:45
no matter what anybody says because it's like, you have to
54:48
just do what you love and believe in it.
54:50
So I woke up from that thing and I was like, I'm done with sports
54:52
for a bit and I think for me, so I have this thing where I call
54:56
myself legendary and I was like, it's so obnoxious.
54:58
I'm like, you only have one.
54:59
I know it's so obnoxious, but you only have one life, you only
55:02
have one life, everything.
55:03
This is the only chance we get, you should do whatever you want
55:06
to do.
55:07
And it's kind of crazy because a lot of the times especially
55:09
being in the US, there's a lot of things wrong with the US.
55:11
We know that politically, right?
55:13
But in the grand scheme of things and how other countries operate
55:16
man, we have it so good we can move about how we please.
55:21
If you want to do career thing, you want to be the stay at home
55:23
why things can come and look at the end of the day, everybody's
55:27
going to have a bias against you no matter what you are, who
55:29
you are, the age, you are the sex, you are, it doesn't matter
55:33
You're going to, you're going to suffer no matter what path
55:37
you choose, you just have to choose to stay positive and know
55:40
that.
55:40
Ok, if I really want something I'm going to go for it.
55:42
Is it going to be easy?
55:42
No, nothing.
55:44
Is life supposed to be easy?
55:47
Nothing has ever come easy to anybody so hard.
55:50
But I'm having so much fun.
55:52
And I think the best part about doing this journey in entertainment
55:55
obviously, opportunities are great.
55:57
But the people that I meet have been so even right now, my best
56:02
friend is letting me stay with her and I was telling her, I feel
56:05
like I'm on an extended girls trip.
56:06
That's how it feels with you, ladies, with her.
56:09
Like I just feel like I'm a girls trip.
56:11
It feels a positive one because you know, it could go left.
56:14
But this was a good one.
56:15
It's starting off, right.
56:16
This is a good one.
56:17
This is not Miami because you're on your path, you're on your
56:20
path, you're aligning with all the things and when you live
56:24
and you learn, right?
56:25
Like you're not going to be like this 10 years ago.
56:27
You are this way now because you're 33 and you're like, OK,
56:29
I'm going to stay on this path.
56:30
It feels good, like, and trust your intuition, but it takes
56:33
time to trust your intuition, you gotta go the test and then
56:36
you're like, oh, wait, my test was right.
56:38
II I passed now.
56:39
I'm going to go hard on what I feel and you know what's crazy
56:42
And speaking of aligning is like, I know you wanted to do podcasts
56:45
It was something on all of our heart to do.
56:48
I was like, I'm going to do a podcast too.
56:49
And then it's crazy because again, like the power of whatever
56:52
it is, whoever you think the creator is, the source is for me
56:54
it's God.
56:54
I just know like there was a reason why things happen when it
56:58
happens.
56:58
Like maybe it just wasn't my time in the past or it wasn't the
57:01
right situation.
57:02
Everything happens for a reason.
57:04
And that's why I believe in just the right timing.
57:06
Even if you feel desperate, divine timing, the cheers to that
57:12
lane timing.
57:15
How do I feel like we talked about?
57:16
I was having a great time.
57:18
I feel like they were having a good time, but we have to wrap
57:21
this up and maybe talk about it in the next episode.
57:24
We have to wrap it up.
57:25
So everyone, if you liked what you heard, if you want to continue
57:28
the conversation, if you have things you want to talk about
57:30
that, you want us to unpack, please put them in the comments
57:34
Be sure to subscribe to girl.
57:36
Let me tell you like send it to a friend, send it to somebody
57:39
to your mom, everybody, somebody who needs it, who needs a
57:42
girl, a soul, a soul mate, I could be your soulmate.
57:47
So yeah, this is fun and make sure you rate us.
57:49
Give us those five stars everywhere.
57:52
We love you.
57:53
Cheers guys, cheers.