00:00
When it comes to art, I think that a lot of us, especially the
00:03
internet has really co-opted this movement where, oh, you
00:06
don't have to, you don't have to really learn anything like
00:09
that's all institution.
00:11
Like if you respect an art, I don't care what you do, you have
00:15
to respect it and you have to show up.
00:24
Welcome to another episode of Girl.
00:25
Let me tell you, I'm your girl.
00:28
I'm Jessica Flores J and we have a very special guest in the
00:32
Someone that I look up to someone that I feel like is creating
00:35
history in the comedy community.
00:37
And someone that I needed some east Coast uh representation
00:41
here on this couch too.
00:42
So I wanna welcome someone that I look up to a great comedian
00:51
I tell us a little, I mean, I know all about you because I'd be
00:53
all up in your D MS and in your world and all your business.
00:55
But tell everyone on um fears who you are.
00:59
So um my name is Iva Rodriguez.
01:02
I'm a, I'm a, a woman who happens to be a stand up comedian.
01:07
I'm a writer, a producer, a director and an actor.
01:10
And um I don't call myself an activist because I feel like that's
01:15
Um I'm actually in motion to make things happen to create equity
01:20
and, and fairness to people of color, brown people, black
01:27
So I want to get into it.
01:29
I've done um ida's birth chart and she is a Virgo, Virgo.
01:33
And how do you feel about that girl?
01:34
Because I know you've expressed yourself.
01:36
I have, I just want to say, um I love Virgos.
01:40
You know, my mom and my therapist, they're both Virgos and
01:43
I learn a lot from Virgos.
01:44
I will say, you know, every sign has, you know, their thing
01:46
but something that you can always take away from a Virgo is
01:49
self love is choosing yourself is, is getting it right.
01:53
I think one thing about Ida, I have opened up for her and I will
01:56
say I don't want to say this.
01:57
I was late today but I was late.
02:00
I was a little late for open up for her.
02:01
And she, you know, took me to the side and I really appreciate
02:04
that because when you're a young comic, sometimes you're
02:06
just kind of doing things and you're just like running around
02:08
But she took me to the side and she, you know, told me like you
02:11
you are a comedian but you need to be on time, you need to be
02:13
professional, you need to make sure that you're doing your
02:15
work and that's something you could always take away from
02:16
a Virgo is getting that tough love and getting that shit.
02:20
So, I know we were talking the, that's why she hates me.
02:23
No, no, no, no, no, no, I hate my mom too, but I love you too.
02:27
Um, no, I just, I just grew up in a complicated Virgo household
02:31
But I know that um I'm really excited because every time I bring
02:35
Ida up to the stage, I'm like, oh Dominican comedian, but Ida
02:37
is also Puerto Rican.
02:40
I love Puerto Ricans too.
02:41
Um So tell us a little bit about your background.
02:43
You are Puerto Rican Dominican and I think one of your family
02:47
members is from Cuba too, right?
02:49
Stepfather, your stepfather.
02:50
So she is the right?
02:53
It was so funny to say something.
02:56
Let's talk about it.
02:59
We don't really interact too much with people from the Caribbean
03:02
We're from the west coast and I'm Mexican.
03:06
So when it comes to all the Caribbean countries, I'm, I really
03:12
So, so that's so funny because Colombians are very close.
03:14
They're very Caribbean.
03:16
They actually are one of the groups of people that people like
03:19
Puerto Rican say, oh, they can actually dance salsa.
03:24
There's a lot of great salsa music that comes from Colombia
03:27
Um, the girl, we all the same.
03:29
They just dropped us off in different places.
03:31
And uh, and the sooner we accept that and learn it, the better
03:35
The funny thing is I do want to say the reason why I pulled you
03:38
to the side was not because of me, but because of the institution
03:42
that we were working in and I wanted to make sure that you didn't
03:45
ruin your opportunities with them because they, they are
03:51
I will say that and I wanted to talk right now, like as I'm rising
03:54
in my career, I'm still pretty young in comedy.
03:56
I'm still like learning so much, but I am now, you know, with
03:59
each level with, with comedy and, and like we talk about all
04:02
of our careers all the time.
04:03
Some of it is subjective like measuring success and like you
04:06
start getting into these rooms, you want to be in and getting
04:08
on projects and it's just kind of scary.
04:10
Like, how do you still, especially as being a Trailblazer
04:14
How do you still keep your voice without trying to adapt to
04:17
Because you know, the industry will tell you, you need to tell
04:19
less jokes about, you know, being Latino now, you should focus
04:22
on this or whatever.
04:23
Like how do you still maintain your authenticity with a space
04:26
that's telling you all the time?
04:27
Like you're doing it wrong because we don't exist in comedy
04:30
Like now we are like Ida is at the top of that, of that, I guess
04:35
But it's like we, we, I don't exist in comedy people like Dominican
04:38
you know, so I'm like, how do you still maintain your authenticity
04:42
where everyone telling you to kind of change or like, be more
04:45
whatever, I guess, formal or what I mean, you know, whatever
04:48
that looks like in the industry.
04:50
Well, um I will say this.
04:53
Um I'm I thank you for giving me my, my roses.
04:57
I it's so funny because I, I get a lot of people to tell me, hey
05:01
you know what you mean to me how people cry at my shows.
05:04
You are a, you are our Latina and I still get paid less than everybody
05:08
And, and it's just not me just saying this, I, we confirm it
05:11
My male counterparts will send um send me what their quotes
05:16
are for certain clubs just so I'll know so that I can use it as
05:20
a negotiating tactics.
05:21
A lot of the white male comics from New York who are my friends
05:24
will say this is what the club is paying me.
05:26
So just know cause you have a bigger following than me.
05:29
So, and, and they will still lowball me like I did, I did a tour
05:34
I got paid for the entire tour with one of my friends got paid
05:37
for one show to do the same exact tour.
05:40
And so, um, you know, it's, it's very grounding to hear.
05:45
Um, I will say this, I've always been myself in comedy.
05:50
I started comedy as an adult and I've always been myself, the
05:54
co the business had to catch up to me.
05:56
I never, ever decided that I was gonna try to be somebody else
06:00
I talk about whatever I want to talk about in stand up.
06:03
I lean into sometimes harder stuff because I do talk about
06:07
social and political stuff where um you know, a lot of women
06:10
like they would say to me, hey, you know, as a woman, you, you
06:14
should stay away from sex and don't talk about low common denominator
06:17
stuff and don't be hacky and don't be doing this.
06:20
But then the most successful comedians and the highest paid
06:24
comedians who are women are all dirty comics, you know, and
06:27
it's not like I'm not hating on them.
06:28
I'm just pointing out the truth like Amy Schumer, Whitney
06:31
Cummings, Sarah Silverman, they talk about whatever they
06:33
want, they use their white privilege to talk about whatever
06:36
whatever they want to talk about and, and they are elevated
06:39
and respected and paid for it.
06:41
Whereas as a woman of color, when you talk about those things
06:44
they try to reduce you to being, you know, low common denominator
06:49
like, oh here it goes, a woman and talking about sex when we
06:52
have to hear about men talk about sex all the time and, and a
06:55
lot of the jokes are low, common denominator jokes.
06:58
So I just always said, I'm not gonna allow myself to let anybody
07:02
tell me who I need to be in this space because it ain't ever right
07:07
Richard Pryor used to talk about whatever he wanted to talk
07:11
George Carlin was a completely different comedian who talked
07:14
about and evolved from different places.
07:16
Those are my comedy heroes.
07:17
Those are who I think are the greatest comedians ever.
07:20
Um You know, and I look at like someone like Bill Burr who is
07:25
I just think, you know, like uh these people are being their
07:30
most authentic selves and you are experiencing life with
07:33
them as they, as they evolve.
07:35
Um I'm no different and so I just always say I'm gonna be me.
07:41
So that is why people are, are um bothered by you in comedy to
07:47
be bothered your level, your level of confidence and they
07:50
attack your legendary and all that stuff because you go on
07:53
stage and, and are your authentic self.
07:56
You, you're just working on the, you're working on mechanics
08:01
I'm in, I wanted to talk to you but I don't wanna hog up, I'm hogging
08:05
I don't know if you ladies have questions because I also wanted
08:07
I think I feel like right now like the first five years of my
08:10
career was just like being bookable, right?
08:13
Like when you're a woman of color, you're, they're not booking
08:16
you that I don't know you whatever, you don't have the followers
08:18
you don't have this in the first five years.
08:19
I just wanted to be, I just wanted the space to work and now like
08:23
I'm really starting to, I wanna take the next couple of years
08:25
to like work on like, what is my story?
08:27
Like, what do I really wanna share with my audience?
08:29
And that's kind of like changing for me.
08:31
Now, I, I focus a lot on like on relationships and just like
08:34
I was learning the jokes and now that I know how to make a joke
08:37
And I feel like when you're in the audience, like, oh, that's
08:39
But I'm like, no, that was horrible.
08:41
Like, that's not even well written.
08:43
The structure is not there.
08:44
So I'm like, now I'm working on like the inside of, you know
08:47
this uh what I'll say to all of you is regardless if you're
08:50
a comedian, an actor, a host, a producer, people buy into you
08:54
and then they buy into what you're selling.
08:56
But it is your responsibility to understand the science of
09:00
Because what we do as comedians, actors host, whatever it
09:05
is, that's creative.
09:06
The art part of it is undeniable.
09:09
We all know that there's an art to it, but there's also a science
09:12
there are mechanics and techniques.
09:14
And if you wanna be at the top of your game, it is your job to go
09:17
you know, Viola Davis and Meryl Streep don't win awards because
09:21
you know, they get on screen and just emote, they are, they
09:25
technically know how to work a camera.
09:27
They know how to deliver the scenes.
09:29
Comedians are no different.
09:30
Writers are no different.
09:32
You know, it is important to understand and the science especially
09:35
us because they don't expect us.
09:37
They think that we just show up to be the, the the resident clowns
09:42
to be like, oh, she's so crazy.
09:43
She gonna say whatever she go.
09:45
No, I have something to say.
09:46
There is, there is a, there's a process that went into this
09:50
there is a science that went into this.
09:52
I respect it and you're gonna respect me for it.
09:54
And so you know what I mean?
09:56
When it comes to art, I think that a lot of us, especially the
09:59
internet has really co-opted this movement where oh, you
10:02
don't have to, you don't have to really learn anything like
10:05
that's all institution.
10:07
Like if you respect an art, I don't care what you do, you have
10:11
to respect it and you have to show up.
10:13
It's not that we don't respect internet comedians come, internet
10:18
comedians are really good at being internet comedians.
10:21
You know how that I'm struggling with.
10:23
I cannot for the life of me.
10:24
I'm like, I know I can't make no internet joke.
10:27
I don't know what internet actors.
10:29
They have like seven or 32nd clips and they have thousands
10:33
and millions of followers.
10:33
And then you're going to school for four years and you're studying
10:36
the, in the academy and you're waiting to make a movie and it's
10:38
like, wow, this person's has more, has more success than I
10:41
have and I've been in the game for like 10 years.
10:43
But that's just kind of how you, how you value your education
10:46
like old school mentality.
10:47
I mean, they're just good at being internet people like, you
10:50
know, and that's a science unto itself.
10:52
I don't even dish it to be able to, I look at some of these videos
10:56
and I'm like, that's so creative to edit this, to capture this
10:59
and this amount of time.
11:01
And I give you that respect.
11:02
Now, I need you to respect the fact that that special that I
11:06
It took me six years to write that special.
11:09
And I know people are like, oh people write specials and they
11:12
got specials every other year, but they're not special, you
11:15
know, like, I mean, Jerry Seinfeld said that anyone that's
11:18
writing a special under a year that's not like a flush out.
11:21
Like it takes time to write a special, a special took six years
11:26
again because I'm not Comedy World.
11:28
I don't know what the protocol is for like, I've seen specials
11:31
I watch them all the time, but I really truly don't think about
11:34
how long it takes to write a show that long and that well put
11:37
and I had to redo it.
11:38
Like I wrote, it took me six years to write it and to, to perform
11:42
it, to perfect it, to take the jokes.
11:45
I had jokes that I had done before, to really exhaust the joke
11:49
being able to tag it to give it life, to expand it, to breathe
11:53
And then I had to change some of it because COVID happened and
11:56
I had to address what was happening in the world.
11:59
And that was a process doing jokes on Zoom, doing jokes with
12:02
people with masks on doing jokes with a limited audience because
12:05
we couldn't have a full audience like that.
12:08
The, you know, there's a privilege in being super rich and
12:11
super famous and being able to come out with a comedy special
12:14
when people already love you and most people will accept whatever
12:17
you have to say because they, they are being affected by the
12:22
But those of us who don't have that have to actually show up
12:26
You said that you got into comedy in your adult life.
12:29
So what what, what inspired you to get into comedy?
12:31
What propelled you there?
12:32
And how did you and now, you know, you're one of the biggest
12:35
comics that we know, especially Latinas.
12:36
How did you get here at this point?
12:38
So, you know, I wanted to be a comedian when I was little and
12:41
my, my mom was like, they were, they were like, that was corny
12:45
because they were like, they like, they would be like, who's
12:51
Nobody wants to marry no goofy girl.
12:53
And I'm watching Lucy who got a husband and a TV show and Rich
12:57
and successful coming from a family of my family that I grew
13:02
up with is my Puerto Rican family.
13:03
And I don't call them immigrants because they're not immigrants
13:07
And we have to stop using that language when it comes to Puerto
13:09
Ricans because it, it, it uh it emboldens white supremacy
13:13
to continuously, you know, ex out Puerto Ricans.
13:17
Um So, and if you're watching and you didn't know that Puerto
13:20
Ricans are American.
13:22
So my, but my family still has that mentality where they want
13:25
you to be a lawyer, they want you to be a doctor.
13:27
They want you to be something that is to them, what they consider
13:32
And so me saying I wanna do comedy because I, I had learned about
13:36
Richard Pryor a little like my uncle used to let me hear his
13:40
I would get in trouble for it.
13:42
Um It took me a while.
13:44
Um It actually was, I was doing a, a uh a birthday roast with
13:49
Chris Spencer, a friend of ours was like, can you guys roast
13:53
Because I was always roasting.
13:55
And then I would hate to be in a roast battle with you.
13:57
Oh my God, you would you honest, I'd be like uh you better at
14:03
No, they call me me and I said some shit.
14:05
It was, oh I'm not a roaster like that because I, that's what
14:09
I, I have my joke because I was like, oh y'all like y'all really
14:12
coming in going in for like the jugular.
14:14
Like I saw the talking about people's uh dead babies and all
14:18
I was like, I, I, I'll go get my gun.
14:21
Like I, you know, like, II, I don't roast but it was like a, a
14:26
And he said to me, Chris Spencer was like, hey, you, you're
14:29
a comedian like you really, you should go do an open mic and
14:32
he was like, just try it if you don't like it.
14:34
He's like, I know it when I see it.
14:36
Uh And you know, he's worked with Jamie Foxx and Tiffany had
14:39
and, and, um, Kevin Hart.
14:41
So I went and did it and, and I never stopped, I just started
14:45
It was a hobby for me at the beginning.
14:47
What kept you going?
14:48
Because I'm sure that, you know, you maybe had a stay like,
14:51
I don't know, like you had your journey, like what kept you
14:53
Like what inspired me to like the scientist in me.
14:56
The, so the first show I did, I got a very good response, which
15:00
happens very common.
15:01
Like the first time, first beginner's luck.
15:03
It's a comedy and it's, and it's adrenaline.
15:09
Yeah, you do it for the first time.
15:11
I have to get you up at the, at the end of the episode, I think
15:13
everybody should do a stay open mind.
15:16
I, I do, I do recommend it for, for everyone because I, I tell
15:19
this to my friends and everyone who acts like it wasn't until
15:21
I started doing comedy.
15:22
I started loving myself.
15:23
Like I really was, I never felt like power, like the power to
15:26
take care of my, like to do my own narrative.
15:28
I would always let other people come up with their own narratives
15:30
And when I did stand up, I was like, no, this is who I am.
15:33
You're not gonna use this against me and I'm gonna make a joke
15:35
And any time I feel a strong emotion like I wanna fight somebody
15:38
I'm like, that's a good joke.
15:39
I'm gonna put that shit in the set that way.
15:42
Like I just, I, I was a lot growing up and I was like, if you meet
15:46
all of my friends in high school, like we always knew that you
15:48
were gonna be something I was just too much, but I was able to
15:51
really own my story and like who I am in comedy.
15:54
So even if you don't want to be a comedian, it's great to like
15:56
you know, learn and to put yourself just five minutes.
15:59
Like I got the most confidence.
16:01
Once I did my set, I was like, yo, I'm gonna be a legendary comedian
16:03
And then I started going, I think, and this happens, this is
16:07
You, you're gonna die.
16:10
And she was saying that's your story.
16:12
And you, you have a story right before you became a comedian
16:15
You have a whole story which you can read about legitimate
16:20
Her book, upcoming book that's coming up that we would love
16:23
to hear about right now because it's a big accomplishment
16:25
You wrote it yourself.
16:27
I wrote, I wrote my book, Ghost To Anybody.
16:31
No disrespect, but I'm like a t-shirt but I put on a t-shirt
16:38
Everything I said I put on a t-shirt, no disrespect to anybody
16:41
who had ghostwriter because I, I know it's hard to, I've learned
16:44
It was one of the hardest things I ever did.
16:46
And I know some people battle with literacy.
16:48
They don't come from the best neighborhoods, they don't have
16:52
Um Don't, don't come from the best uh economic situations
16:55
I didn't mean neighborhoods.
16:56
I love my neighborhood where I grew up where we bought beer
17:00
But um yeah, I wrote my book.
17:03
Um it was very, it was a, it was a challenge.
17:06
It was something I decided that I was gonna do.
17:08
I was offered the opportunity to have somebody to help me write
17:12
And I decided that I wanted to do it myself because II, I don't
17:15
feel like I can call myself a writer if I'm not doing the writing
17:18
Like, even with my TV, show that I had in development prior
17:22
to the strike, I was writing it by myself, which I was very thankful
17:25
to the people at um at Showtime for giving me that opportunity
17:29
to just write alone.
17:31
Um But I wrote it myself and it is the funny thing is when we were
17:36
in the makeup room, she called it the illegitimate child illegitimate
17:44
And she was like, no.
17:45
But the reason why it's funny is because the book is about my
17:49
search for legitimacy because I didn't have my father's last
17:53
And when I met my father, I, I thought I was gonna get the answers
17:58
and what I got was more questions.
18:00
And so the book is really about the journey of me coming to myself
18:05
after um finding, you know, finding my father and thinking
18:09
oh, all of it is when I find my father, I'm gonna know everything
18:11
that I need to know.
18:12
And this then, and that was not what it was.
18:15
And it, it's a very common theme of people who don't have a parent
18:20
And you know, this whole idea that, that the parent, the father
18:24
not being in the home is, is exclusively to black and brown
18:27
people is a big farce.
18:29
I've been reached out to by so many um white people who saw my
18:33
special and were like, because of you, I'm gonna go talk to
18:37
I'm gonna go find my father.
18:41
My driver in New York was like, I saw your special and I went
18:45
to Florida to go find my father.
18:46
Like it was, it was this, this whole, this void that you feel
18:51
and within my community having your last, your father's last
18:56
name was an a one up like on somebody who didn't.
18:59
And so my book is about, you know, me thinking that my whole
19:04
life when I found my father that I was gonna be whole again and
19:09
I was whole the entire time that I got to go write a book that
19:13
the women who were in my family, these Latinas, strong women
19:17
that showed up for me were doing all the things.
19:20
And I just kept overlooking it because I was like when I find
19:22
my father and, and you know, at the mean, in the meantime, my
19:26
mother is walking to school to feed me because I'm a need and
19:30
she didn't know how to drive and she would walk to school at
19:32
lunch time and make sure that I ate like I was overlooking all
19:36
of those things because I thought that it was um a man in this
19:40
patriarchy that forces this idea that, you know, being a,
19:44
being a father, you know, they're always like when somebody
19:47
messes up, they don't ever say there must not be a mother in
19:50
They always say there's no, there should, there must not be
19:53
this idea that men are more important than women extends even
19:58
And so I explore that in the book and I just tell some stories
20:02
and some people might are gonna be mad at me because I told my
20:06
I didn't, I didn't lie about anything.
20:08
I talk about my relationships.
20:10
I talk about um I, there is something in the book I wanna talk
20:13
about, you talk about um there was a big show you were on Last
20:16
Comic Standing and you talk about just I guess the pressures
20:20
of how you have to appear on stage, not, not the material, just
20:24
the pressure of like people telling you what you can and carry
20:27
Do you wanna, I, I battle with that too because I feel like as
20:30
a comedian, people expect you to kind of be, especially like
20:33
you know, we are, we are women.
20:35
Sometimes we put a little bit more thought into our outfit
20:37
But I got a lot of criticism sometimes for like dressing up
20:39
for like wearing a fur before going on stage.
20:42
And they told you to like, club owners are telling you comedian
20:46
club is the culture of comedy, like you're supposed to not
20:49
be like distracting on stage, but I wanna talk to you like,
20:52
how do you deal with that?
20:53
You can't say you can't be sexy on stage.
20:56
They don't be too distracts from the, so they told you to tone
21:01
I want to know more about that, that in the story.
21:04
Like, how do you feel about that?
21:05
How do you do, does that still affect you now when you do your
21:09
That's so funny because when um uh the director in me that has
21:13
been there for a long time, I storyboard, everything I do.
21:16
Um I storyboard, my every special has I have like sketches
21:21
I sat down, I didn't even direct my own special but I directed
21:24
I was, I sat down II I um the person who um made my outfit from
21:30
my last special, they made a white jumper because I wanted
21:33
to wear like something short.
21:36
I like to wear my shorts with, with some heels and it has the
21:39
cut out is the uh symbols from my great grandfather's tribe
21:43
But um I absolute, I leaned into it after the last Comic Standing
21:48
Um Kenan Ivey Ways and I had a difference of opinion.
21:52
He said that comedy is not about distractions and you have
21:55
to be, that's a very old school thing.
21:57
But I think it's so funny that it's old school because when
22:00
you think about older comedians and I, and not just Lucille
22:04
Ball who was a comedic actress, but if you think about like
22:07
Lily Tomlin or um Phyllis Diller, they were all dressed up
22:12
you know, like they were all dressed up and they would go on
22:15
stage with a microphone and do stand up and you think about
22:18
the men they had on suits.
22:20
So this whole idea that comedy has to be casual or that comedy
22:24
has to be anything is, is just where does that come?
22:29
It's up to me, it's projection.
22:31
Because for, for me, your, what your idea of funny should be
22:35
Uh Corey Holcomb who's a, a mentor of mine who I opened for.
22:39
Yeah, he said to me, he said you can wear whatever you want to
22:42
wear if you're funny.
22:43
He was like, because if you host the Oscars, you're gonna wear
22:45
a gown, not a sweatsuit.
22:46
So you gotta be prepared to be funny and whatever you have on
22:49
So I kinda hate it sometimes and I get it from other women.
22:52
Like I've had some of my peers be like, oh yeah, your titties
22:55
I'm like, bitch, I was in a rush.
22:57
I had to do this set real quick.
22:58
But I, I do, you know, I think the most important part of comedy
23:01
and like metaphorically and physically is that you feel comfortable
23:04
So if you do go on stage and you don't feel comfortable you that
23:07
is gonna show in the art.
23:08
But if this is who you are and you're able to, it's who you are
23:11
then you should, you can, I don't know like if you, I just feel
23:14
like you should just show up as your best self for the audience
23:17
because, but I think we do a lot of stuff for men because I, I
23:20
was told about like one of the bigger comedian women.
23:23
Um I won't say her name because it is, it was given to me in confidence
23:27
but I was told that she would wear uh tape herself down and
23:31
wear uh sports bras to like tone down her chest.
23:36
And I was like, we're doing all of that for men.
23:39
They can feel comfortable because we're always told that
23:41
men think about sex every whatever seconds and, and really
23:45
it's insulting to men because it makes men.
23:48
It makes men seem like they are like the most basic animal to
23:52
ever walk the planet.
23:53
And maybe that might be connected to why we have a lot of issues
23:57
But the truth is, is that, that is to, you know, to make men comfortable
24:02
You don't want to upset a woman that's with her husband at the
24:05
You don't wanna, and I'm like, listen, I'm, I'm gonna be on
24:09
on the stage and do me and be me.
24:11
I'm not flirting with your husband if you are insecure and
24:14
you and you are threatened by a woman on stage.
24:17
You got bigger problems than me.
24:19
I never thought about that.
24:20
That's interesting though I have even just, sometimes when
24:23
I go on a run I'll be wearing a sports bra and I'll pass by like
24:25
a couple walking down the beach and I will legitimately sometimes
24:29
just, like, look down, like, not even look up because he's
24:31
walking with his wife or girlfriend and maybe that's something
24:34
Like, I don't wanna make his wife or his girlfriend feel uncomfortable
24:37
But I do that sometimes.
24:38
Like, have you done that?
24:39
Like when you're walking next to a couple, I'll just like,
24:41
look down or look away.
24:42
Just, I'm like, well, I don't wanna make her uncomfortable
24:45
Maybe I, I think that's the way that we were raised too.
24:47
Like when my mom was always be like, don't wear shorts in front
24:49
of your, your sister's boyfriend or, you know, I always, I'm
24:52
always like, very conservative which goes back to like, how
24:55
did your background, your cultural background influence
24:58
your comedy because you also spoke about how you found yourself
25:03
and you're comfortable within yourself and coming from a
25:05
woman that's, I mean, I'm 33 but I'm still like in that area
25:10
So if you have any advice of like, how you got to loving yourself
25:14
the way you do now, I know you've had a, a lot of experiences
25:17
you know, I'm curious what you would recommend for a young
25:21
So I would say, um first of all, um it's important that you,
25:28
I'm, I'm a creature of metaphysics.
25:30
Um I turned to meta physics when I was in my twenties and I was
25:36
like, I had to really learn to reprogram my thinking.
25:40
I was very indoctrinated and through religion at a very young
25:43
age and it didn't service me in the way that I needed it for me
25:48
to feel whole and good as a person and a woman.
25:51
So I had to be able to, I had to, I had to qualify it or even intellectualize
25:58
it a little bit so that it could make sense for me in terms of
26:00
science, my brain um is subconscious mind just like everybody
26:06
else and everything that you feed it, your, your mind is always
26:09
listening when you're hating on yourself, when you're saying
26:12
bad things when you are, you know, whatever it is.
26:15
And so for me, um I sat down and I started reading these books
26:19
like I read like a thinking Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
26:23
And I started reading um you know, people clown the secret
26:26
But after, but there was a time I do it.
26:31
But you know, it, it is all true.
26:32
I mean, even if it was coming social live, it really is about
26:35
I think that that sometimes the powers that be will, will
26:39
make will shit on stuff that does that so that it doesn't become
26:43
popular because the, the worst thing that will ever happen
26:45
to the planet is that human beings start thinking for themselves
26:49
in reality, like, really start thinking for themselves.
26:51
But I read this book called The Power of Your Self conscious
26:55
And every time I bought this book, somebody would steal it
26:57
And I was like, there's something in this book.
26:59
Um And it was just really about understanding it.
27:02
I think that you have to silence the noise.
27:05
We have really bad language when it comes to women.
27:07
Um And people now ageism has become such a big thing because
27:13
it's just, it's profitable because, you know, they, they
27:16
turned it, it's another way to exploit women telling you you're
27:20
You know, I, I was making a joke about being old on stage and
27:23
this lady that was older than me said.
27:25
So, you know, when you guys say that you're old, you make me
27:29
And I was like, I felt she's like, you, you know, you're letting
27:33
younger people bully you into making you feel like it's over
27:37
But if it's over for you, what does that say for me?
27:40
And I was like, I'm, I'm gonna stop saying that because that
27:43
I see people on the internet, you know, like when you see people
27:47
that are teenagers getting filler and getting Botox food
27:50
because they're trying to hold on to something and it, and
27:53
it's all about, um, it's, that's all uh uh an industry to make
27:56
money that really isn't about preserving your youth or making
28:00
you feel better about yourself.
28:01
It's about making you feel bad about yourself so that you can
28:04
continuously um spend money, right?
28:08
Because the truth of it is is that you cannot freeze yourself
28:12
You're not going to, nobody is gonna look at one of these super
28:16
star women that are in their fifties and sixties and say, oh
28:21
No, they just say, oh the bitch look good for 60.
28:24
That's the reality is, is that you cannot.
28:27
And it's such a blessing.
28:28
I used, I grew up during an era where this didn't exist as much
28:32
It did but not as much.
28:34
I idolized my grandmother.
28:36
I looked at her like, but I was just looking at her like wow,
28:41
My, my grandmother was young but I was just like she is such
28:44
a beautiful regal woman.
28:46
I had nothing but respect for her.
28:47
And I was like, I want to be like that whenever I become older
28:50
So I I think that women people period are struggling right
28:56
now because the the you know, the commercialism and the consumerism
29:01
in this, in this world has become so toxic and horrible.
29:05
You are constantly be, be being given messaging that there's
29:08
something wrong with you that you have to disconnect.
29:11
How do you deal with, I disconnect.
29:15
Um So, you know, I, I have my days, like some days I'll, I'll
29:21
click back because I, I, I'm like, I know a dummy when I see you
29:25
Sometimes I will respond me too because I learned that a lot
29:29
of people think they can say stuff because they don't think
29:32
that there will be consequences.
29:34
And, but the other thing is then you have to realize that sometimes
29:37
people do that because they, I do want you to respond because
29:39
they're trying to get some attention even if it's negative
29:41
because now they noticed me, you're giving them what they
29:44
want and speaking to the ages and things.
29:46
I have seen a rise in podcasts specifically like male podcasts
29:50
There's a couple of other ones where they do really, really
29:53
talk poorly about women that are aging.
29:54
It's like you're really only good in your twenties, you're
29:56
really only good or your thirties, right?
29:59
You're really only good when you're, you know, fertile and
30:01
then, then you, you know, and it, it is so sad and you, right
30:04
Like as a woman, it does get to you a little bit.
30:07
You're like, wow, that's really sad.
30:09
And you're right, we need to bring back having love and respect
30:13
And I'm not saying that specifically, but society, our grandmothers
30:16
our mothers who did so much, you, you sacrifice your body
30:19
you sacrifice so much of you know, if you do want to, you know
30:22
have Children, you sacrifice so much of yourself to raise
30:25
Children and do it and, you know, as gracefully as possible
30:28
And it's just, it's really sad to see like people really just
30:31
going in on women that are aging and it doesn't make women want
30:34
to age gracefully anymore.
30:35
It makes people want to go and run to the Botox fillers and they
30:38
do want to freeze in time now and it looks crazy.
30:41
You know any of that shit.
30:43
I haven't gotten any of it either.
30:45
But listen, I don't know what I'll do because I have my moments
30:49
and everybody feels insecure so I don't like to shit on women
30:53
I always think it's a preference, right?
30:55
Like I feel like if you're doing, I say any decision you make
30:57
make sure it's from you and not from like outside all the time
31:01
Is it gonna be for it?
31:03
But I, but I will say this um always consider the source.
31:06
You know, my mom, my mom had a really good way of showing that
31:09
my mom is so hood and I would be like, oh Vanessa said I was ugly
31:13
and she'd be like, are you talking about the crackheads, daughter
31:16
You let the crackheads daughter make you feel bad.
31:19
You are you, you scored this on the PSAT.
31:21
How are you gonna let that was my, that's how my mother's version
31:24
of consider the source, which I love her for that.
31:28
But I, I think that you got to think about like those podcasts
31:30
When you look at these, you know, there's a rise in lonely men
31:34
a scientific study about a rise in lone loneliness in men
31:37
which is why you see such a rise in crime and uh you know, and
31:42
femicide and shootings.
31:44
So when you, you, these people who are doing these podcasts
31:48
they're feeding those men.
31:49
They, they know there is a market for this.
31:52
You know, people call them in voluntary celibates.
31:55
You know, their rise in this alpha male man.
31:57
Men fighting for their masculinity.
31:59
I was raised by five of my uncles who were men who never had to
32:04
prove themselves men, they never had to labeled themselves
32:08
real men because they did it.
32:09
They showed their manhood through their actions.
32:12
So when I look at these people, you know, you have to always
32:15
consider the source.
32:16
I, I know a lot of women who are in my age range who are nothing
32:22
I have two Children.
32:24
I have dated, I've broken up.
32:26
I've never been in a moment in my life where I'm like, oh my God
32:29
I'm never gonna find a man.
32:30
I currently can be in a relationship if I want to.
32:33
I just choose not to because I don't.
32:36
Because in the early twenties before I started comedy, I was
32:38
very like like I need to be in love, I need to be married.
32:42
And then I'm like, you know what I actually have the privilege
32:44
of freedom and I can just figure out who I am before I get into
32:48
I think a lot of women that something that I'm kind of like exploring
32:51
We end up in these relationships because we're told to be in
32:54
them versus like I know who I am and I'm choosing to be here and
32:58
The problem that I had before is that I would never leave because
33:00
like, I can't lose the my man.
33:01
But now I will leave.
33:02
I have a career, you know, so I just, I just think that like,
33:06
I think that as women, we should stop being so we're not like
33:08
stop being so hard on yourself and like be careful like what
33:11
you're consuming on the internet, there's just too much and
33:13
you have the option of programming what you want to consume
33:16
Yeah, you have control of your algorithm algorithms.
33:19
We're also focused on being whole because the thing about
33:22
women is that we're always put in this place where they like
33:25
your career or a personal life.
33:28
You're more than just those two things also, you know, like
33:31
I, I believe in being spiritually connected.
33:34
It's not just about your career and the things that you have
33:37
and the money that you have I was married to a professional
33:40
football player and I had everything I wanted and I was the
33:43
unhappiest person, the unhappiest I've ever been in.
33:47
Being able to just, I was driving $100,000 car.
33:50
I had all the purses, you know, and I was, I was miserable and
33:54
then I lost everything and I became, I was unhoused.
33:59
I would and I found comedy and then I found joy.
34:02
And now that I'm in a, in a place where I'm, I'm doing well and
34:06
I can take care of myself and my family.
34:08
My happiness is a very interesting, a very uh important perspective
34:12
for me to understand that my happiness, happiness does not
34:15
come from anything material or superficial.
34:18
Nothing that I have that I own is more important to me.
34:22
No job, no television show, no book is more important to me
34:26
than my mother, my kids.
34:28
You know, the relationships that I have with my family and
34:31
my friends cause during the apocalypse ain't nobody gonna
34:34
care about your body.
34:37
But the thing is that we, we keep thinking we're, we're so self
34:40
centered and thinking that we get it right.
34:42
The planet is suffering and is struggling.
34:44
We're, we are, we have done so much damage to the planet and
34:48
it's very, very uh just very self centered to think that we
34:51
are the only ones here and that we're the greatest thing that
34:54
ever happened to the planet.
34:55
When in reality, we're probably the worst thing that ever
34:57
happened to the family.
34:58
The animals are probably conspiring a war against us as we
35:01
But, you know, we just have to take things into perspective
35:04
People in Hollywood and, and I know we gotta wrap up.
35:07
But I will say this, people in Hollywood will try their best
35:11
to convince you that they're living their best lives.
35:13
99% of the time is because they're selling you something.
35:16
They're either selling your makeup, they're selling you
35:19
clothes, they're selling your makeup a lifestyle.
35:21
It is part of how they make their living people who truly and
35:24
genuinely feel good about themselves.
35:27
Don't have to do two things.
35:28
They don't have to prove it and they don't have to make other
35:31
People who really feel good about themselves, make you want
35:35
to find what they got just because because of the way they're
35:38
And by example, I needed to hear too like I, I want to go through
35:44
so much more before we wrap up.
35:47
I know that we have to wrap up, but we talked about a lot, but
35:50
I feel like there is a new generation of Latino comics coming
35:54
up and I feel like Gloria is like back to me.
35:56
No, not even that, but I just want to make sure that we as comedians
36:00
You have any advice for anybody that wants to start comedy
36:04
that is in comedy that just from like you have a wealth of knowledge
36:08
and I just wanna make sure that they get, I know they tuned in
36:11
We got a little bit of everything but anything you wanna share
36:14
with anyone who's coming up and I wanna add a layer to that with
36:17
now it being so anything you say is so polarizing, it could
36:21
be in a, in a crazy way.
36:23
And you said, you know, you've had your own people come for
36:25
you when you're just saying the truth and it's, and I've heard
36:27
that it's so hard being a, a comedy.
36:30
Anybody even at an online presence, you either say something
36:33
political or you don't and you, you know, what's your, what's
36:36
your advice to comedies that are now are comedians that are
36:39
now kind of facing that issue as well on top of that.
36:41
So what I will say this when it comes to comedy and art, um if
36:45
you are in it to get rich, if you're in it, to get famous, if you're
36:48
in it, to get a relationship, if you are in it for any of those
36:51
reasons, you are never gonna be fulfilled.
36:55
The only reason you should ever pursue an art is so that you
36:58
can, you can explore it and express it in the best way that you
37:02
Basquiat did not get a chance to see the impact that he has made
37:08
Our Puerto Rican Haitian brother who was excluded from the
37:11
community because we are so anti black within our community
37:15
Um I it, you know, like when you think one of my favorite book
37:19
is called a Confederacy of says Peter Kennedy who wrote that
37:22
book, he, he wrote it.
37:24
He got uh turned down by people over and over again.
37:28
His mother in grief, took that book to a publisher and it became
37:31
a best seller, won a Pulitzer Prize.
37:34
It became one of the best and most lauded books.
37:38
Uh All of these people have tried to option it to make it.
37:40
I think Jim Carrey because it is one of the most the funniest
37:43
pieces of literature ever.
37:45
And he never got a chance to see that.
37:47
But his art lives on, his name lives on and art to me is about
37:53
So what I will say to comedians is first of all, be yourself
37:57
because you are eventually going to show up anyway.
38:00
So you might as well just show up as you.
38:02
Second of all, find the joy in what you're doing because it's
38:06
Nothing that is in exists that is that where you operate at
38:10
high levels is ever gonna be a joyous ride unless you are a Hilton
38:15
or you know, and now a Kardashian, you know what I mean?
38:18
So that you gotta be real about that.
38:20
And I will say that you know, respect art, you know, whether
38:26
you're a comedian, whatever it is that you wanna do.
38:28
Ryan Seacrest loves being a host and respected it and kept
38:32
It wasn't just a quest for fame, but it was a quest for being
38:35
great at what he did.
38:37
And I think that a lot of people now wanna skip, you know, they
38:40
wanna, they wanna cut corners because they wanna get there
38:43
Fame ain't all that is cut out to be a lot of people who are famous
38:48
A lot of people who are poor are happy.
38:50
There is something in there that you, you, we need to figure
38:53
out about where real happiness and joy comes from.
38:56
And so I will just say, you know, don't delude yourself into
39:01
trying to keep up with the virtual Joneses because everybody
39:05
is fighting a battle and you know, and we, we just, it's all
39:10
It's, it's a lot of it is fake and you know, even when people
39:14
say I have no makeup on, I want you to see they got makeup on and
39:17
they're like, this is my natural look and they had their makeup
39:19
artist do their face then no makeup makeup.
39:23
So it's just like, you know, stop, always consider the source
39:28
if I can't give you anything.
39:29
If you want to go to be great, go to what's great and, and study
39:34
what's great and a lot of times what's great is not popular
39:37
not famous and not super rich, but great is great.
39:41
And I would, I would be Basquiat any day over whoever whatever
39:45
high society artist was killing it during the time.
39:49
I, I really, really enjoyed this conversation and I will follow
39:54
I have her phone number so I'm going to be bombing you.
39:55
I'm gonna be calling you up like let's bring it back.
39:57
Like there's so many gems I feel like I learned it was great
40:02
and we're really excited for your book, Legitimate Kid Legitimate
40:07
I want to make sure that we edit the cover in this.
40:10
I don't know how videos work, but make sure you bring it up here
40:13
when you guys post in post production.
40:15
It's a beautiful cover.
40:18
She's holding up a picture of her.
40:19
Is it you when you were younger when I was, look at that I have
40:22
that's a Latina thing to do.
40:24
I did have like a gold frame.
40:25
That was my grandmother's frame, right?
40:27
Like I, I look at it every day in my morning and also Ariana de
40:31
Bose wrote the forward for the book.
40:34
That's super exciting.
40:35
Two Afro Latinas killing it in the game.
40:38
You know the book is, the book is a book of essays and you're
40:41
gonna find yourself in the book.
40:43
I'm telling some secrets.
40:44
I'm telling some stories and uh it, it really is about the journey
40:48
of my life So you're gonna find Uncle Luke from two live crew
40:52
You're gonna find Keenan Iy Waynes in there.
40:54
You're gonna find my grandmother in there and it's, it's one
40:57
of the, one of the chapters is called pizza and penis pizza
41:11
But the um Arianna Dubose um wrote the forward to the book,
41:16
Ariana and I become friends.
41:18
Um She, she came to that show.
41:20
I know I was so star, you know, OK, you're a comedian.
41:23
I'm always doing shows in the basement, but I had to take me
41:25
out of the basement.
41:25
So let's put you on the stage.
41:26
It was really nice that Caroline and I'm just doing my jokes
41:29
and I turned to her.
41:30
I'm like, oh my God, is that?
41:31
But you're, I'm having like a, I'm performing, I'm a professional
41:34
But in my mind, I was like, oh my God, it's like Angela was there
41:38
I was like, she's putting me all her famous friends.
41:40
I don't know, you know, but it was really dope to be there.
41:42
We got a picture together like it's gonna be framed in the museum
41:45
when it comes later.
41:47
But she came to the show, but she's a friend of mine, I've supported
41:51
her, she supported me.
41:53
Um And I asked her to, I wanted someone that saw me professionally
41:59
and in a different way that has, that is also my friend.
42:02
I think Ariana has such a special voice.
42:05
Um which a lot of people don't know.
42:06
She's a great writer and a very smart person.
42:09
She also has a very distinct American journey and I wanted
42:12
to hear what she thought about it.
42:14
And um I asked and she was like, of course, and she calls me,
42:18
which is a very sweet compliment and I really appreciate it
42:23
And she, she wrote it and when I read it, I cried because it was
42:27
it was, you have such a bad, you, you, you have such a bad impression
42:31
You've been told you all day long, every day, what you do is
42:35
live to try to talk yourself off out of the negativity that
42:39
of the story that you've been told about who you are.
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And she dispelled it.
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You know, in her story, her, the way she wrote, it was not only
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beautifully written and poignant, but it was straight from
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the heart and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever
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seen written about myself.
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So I'm very, thank you.
42:57
Well, the book comes out.
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So the book comes out on October 17th, but it's presales.
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Now, if you know anything about books, you know, that presales
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is the most important thing when it comes to books as a Latina
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And I, you know, I don't wanna push this Latina thing because
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I feel like we do that sometimes and pigeonhole ourselves
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This book is for everybody.
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And um it is really about you know, a real journey.
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It's not a, a collection of jokes.
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I'm not like, it's really my story, my journey and how I went
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from being, you know, someone who was living in an expedition
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with two kids to directing comedy specials for HBO, being
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able to write a book and being able to take care of myself outside
43:39
Well, thanks for joining us another episode of girl.
43:42
Let me tell you, make sure to comment and like and subscribe
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It was a beautiful episode.
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Once again, I'm Jessica Flores.
43:50
I'm Iva Rodriguez and I'm, and we'll see you on the next episode
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