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A kleptomaniac and pathological liar is invited to a dinner party. Intent on making a good impression on her sophisiticated friends, she buys a nice bottle of wine only after swapping the price tag for one that’s cheaper. But when she arrives at the apartment, no one’s concerned with how thoughtful she’s been: she’s walked into an intervention!
Show transcript
00:01
Yeah, Kandinsky, vastly, Kandinsky as in vain.
00:08
OK?
00:08
Remind me who exactly this guy is again.
00:10
OK.
00:11
He's a European abstract painter, right?
00:13
He did all the awesome paintings, a lot of colors.
00:16
So why do you want to see him?
00:17
Honestly, my therapist is obsessed with him.
00:21
Obsessed.
00:21
She's got him everywhere in her office.
00:23
And I'm like, so you're a little bit obsessed with her.
00:25
I like her and she helps me with my mom, but she's obsessed with
00:30
Kinski and now you have to be obsessed, right?
00:32
Like whatever.
00:38
OK?
00:38
It's like, OK, well, let's say you're a rational person.
00:45
You have a degree in physics and are completing a phd in chemical
00:49
engineering.
00:50
You're enjoying a quiet evening at home, poring over some
00:54
recent academic publications you've been meaning to read
00:57
you consider grading some papers for the class that you're
01:01
teaching this semester.
01:06
But instead decide to take a bit of a mental break and click
01:09
on your Tinder profile.
01:11
You're happy to be single.
01:13
It's a choice as you drink a cup of organic herbal tea and breezily
01:17
sweat left you smile to yourself at how above it all you feel
01:22
you're comfortable confident you recognize in yourself
01:26
an ability to let go a serenity.
01:29
And then you run into a photo of your ex-girlfriend Tanya.
01:34
She looks hot.
01:35
Amazing.
01:36
She's smiling a smile that will never be bestowed on you again
01:40
She's wearing a bikini one that you bought for her during a
01:43
romantic trip to Oaxaca and displays a body.
01:47
You will never touch again.
01:48
In yet another photo, she relaxes with a glass of wine in front
01:52
of her bookshelf filled with and, and showcasing a brain you
01:58
will never get to fuck with again.
02:01
You whimper at the thought you go through your closet and find
02:06
the box.
02:07
The one that contains all the memories.
02:09
You want to forget.
02:10
You find letters, pictures, mix C DS all from Tanya.
02:16
You read them, you weep as you do.
02:21
You call friends you have in common.
02:23
You try to find her on social media, you drink some tequila
02:27
and draft an email to her that you tell yourself you will never
02:30
send little bit, but then you send it, you decide to go get some
02:38
air and just so happen to walk past her apartment.
02:41
You remember that your sister's juicer is broken and decide
02:45
to ask to borrow hers.
02:47
You ring her doorbell several times and no one answers.
02:51
Desperate to see her.
02:52
You climb the fire escape and break in the super of the building
02:57
who has recently developed an obsession with tap dancing
03:00
Hears your footsteps upstairs intermingled with her tap
03:03
steps and gets angry at the interruption.
03:06
You sneak around the house desperate for news of her and then
03:11
you discover that Tanya is now a self described thrower kind
03:16
of Thrones and is away at a game of Thrones convention.
03:21
Who is she?
03:22
Now?
03:23
You wonder what have you missed out on?
03:26
So creepy.
03:27
Does she even miss you?
03:29
Is she still single?
03:31
You sit in the stairwell staring into space as a super comes
03:35
upstairs to complain about the noise.
03:38
But the only word you repeat over and over and over again is
03:43
Tanya.
03:44
Tanya.
03:49
Yeah, it's like, right.
03:53
Right.
03:53
Ok.
03:54
I feel like you heard.
03:55
Maybe you didn't listen.
03:56
You know what I mean?
03:57
Definitely.
03:58
Well, we're kind of all right, we'll just figure we'll figure
04:01
it out.
04:01
The museum.
04:02
I agree to disagree.
04:03
Ok.
04:04
That's nice.
04:05
Man.
04:06
Is the museum open today?
04:07
It's Tuesday.
04:09
It's not open on Tuesday.
04:11
Should we go to second brunch?
04:13
Yeah.
04:13
Great.
04:13
I'm done.
04:14
Cool.