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What Not To Text with Clayton Thomas

3G's
Comedian and actor Clayton Thomas dons the Three G’s to spill the tea on Keke Palmer’s baby daddy, Jonah Hill’s insecurities, and losing your first baddie.
Show transcript
00:00
When you smash a bad bitch, you get insecure and I think that's
00:02
what happened to him because he, you know, he realized that
00:05
a bad bitch likes you like in the moment and then when that moment
00:09
pass, that bad bitch is gonna do what bad bitches do?
00:17
What's good Mi Gente?
00:18
I'm Sasha Mercy and I'm Mr Seo and I'm Eric Rivera.
00:21
Welcome to three G's in the pod.
00:22
And in this episode, we have the very dope, the one and only
00:27
Clayton Thomas we got so much to talk about that's happening
00:35
right now that I'm so excited to tackle because we all going
00:38
through it right now.
00:39
Yes, sir.
00:40
Yeah, absolutely.
00:44
I mean, as entertainers are you?
00:48
I thought you, I thought you were throwing our business out
00:51
there, sir.
00:52
We all going through it.
00:53
I feel like, yeah, I, I feel like it's so funny.
00:55
We have history of like when I was starting up, I felt like I
00:58
was uh this feels like I was the freshman and you were the senior
01:01
when I was coming in, I was at the uh Laugh Factory and they were
01:04
gonna give me that five minute spot and then uh they gave it
01:07
to somebody else.
01:08
They're like, you just come next week and I'm like, OK, cool
01:10
Not you, not you, they just told me I just come next week, we
01:12
get you next week.
01:12
And I was like, cool.
01:13
And then thank God cause the guy, they're terrible.
01:16
And I've seen you roast this motherfucker so bad that I was
01:20
like, thank God I didn't go up and you were just, and it was one
01:24
of those like when you got everybody, it was cool.
01:27
But then you're like, nah nah and here's the thing with that
01:29
and, and like the way he said it with confidence, like, yo,
01:34
and I'm like, just roasting them.
01:36
And then I remember, I remember you were going so hard that
01:40
they were like the guy that was gonna go, I say keep going, like
01:42
take my time.
01:43
You roast him for his other 10 minutes and a about the other
01:46
guy up and I remember going God damn.
01:48
I started roasting comedians, but I always wanted to be the
01:53
guy that would make fun of somebody and we could laugh together
01:56
as opposed to me making fun of you.
01:58
You know what I mean?
01:58
And uh but yeah, man, man, your memory in man, I was like, yeah
02:04
I'm never gonna forget that shit.
02:05
That shit was wild.
02:06
I remember I drove home.
02:07
I felt like I got roasted on.
02:09
I felt so like, damn, it was just like, yo, that guy that's cause
02:13
you see that's the thing and, and, and I'm being an old head
02:15
right now.
02:15
It's, I hear about these, these new guys, right?
02:17
They just go up there and these bombs like, yeah, it's whatever
02:19
to me, it was like, yo, you, you made me as your generation made
02:23
me feel like if you come in, I don't like how you aged Clayton
02:27
your generation.
02:28
I know all about the same age that I was the youngest one out
02:34
here and my back hurting now anyways, but the point is is that
02:37
you guys made me feel like if you come here, you got to come,
02:39
correct, come here to hit.
02:41
Don't come here to just try things out and find yourself like
02:44
come here to work because when you're in L A man, this is the
02:47
this is still a showcase city beyond.
02:50
We're all able to create from the internet anywhere in the
02:52
world now.
02:53
But L A is still a showcase city is where you come, where people
02:56
are going to find you and be able to say that person is funny
03:00
So when I see comedians in L A just going up and just being like
03:03
oh whatever, I'm like, dude, do you know this is an opportunity
03:06
that people would kill for to be on a stage and people would
03:09
just be, you know, bullshit and it's crazy and it could it be
03:11
also like we do, we see that because we're coming from another
03:17
city to L A.
03:19
You know, because I've noticed some people that are from L
03:21
A just feel like, ah, I'll get them next time and it's like,
03:23
for us it's like, maybe we're fighting the clock because we're
03:28
like, we're trying to come back home, we're trying to, you
03:31
know, help everybody back out and it's like, we don't have
03:33
time to waste and I'm supposed to be home that that's what were
03:37
we supposed to be 12 years ago.
03:40
You know what I mean?
03:41
I was supposed to come out into L A for like two years and be gone
03:44
So what do you mean by that?
03:45
Do you mean like that?
03:46
You were planning to do your set and then land something big
03:50
and then be like, yo, I'm cashing in and going back when I got
03:54
here.
03:54
So I moved to L A when I was 21.
03:56
I'm 37 now.
03:57
And you couldn't tell me that I, I wouldn't have been a millionaire
04:02
in a year because in my mind, I was like, alright, great.
04:04
I'm going to go out there.
04:05
People are going to see me, they go see how funny I am.
04:07
And then I'm going to be on and I can just go back to Detroit,
04:10
love hearing the young comics, their game plan, a Comedy Central
04:14
special in six months and then I'm gonna hit HBO boom at the
04:18
end of the year and then boom it off.
04:19
And you're like, ok, that's the funny thing.
04:21
Yeah, because that was like, my thought too.
04:22
I was like, oh my God, I'm going to come, I'm going to do this
04:25
I'm going to do that and then I'm going to get a TV show and then
04:29
oh my God, I'm going to go back home and five years later I'm
04:32
still here.
04:32
You know what's crazy though when you came?
04:34
Oh my God.
04:34
First of all, me even knowing about you, you were already a
04:38
star in my mind because I was like, and not even just, I just
04:42
saw deadline articles and you posting, oh, this show is coming
04:45
I was like, yo, ho how just amazing.
04:48
And then we were like, yeah, I've been out of L A four.
04:50
I'm like, yo, you've always been like, thank you.
04:55
I really appreciate that.
04:57
Well, that I, I really, I really do appreciate that because
04:59
like, you know, I, I didn't, you know, I started off on social
05:02
media, right?
05:03
And social media, the reality of it is that I'm talking to myself
05:07
on my phone.
05:07
So getting on stage and learning what you guys already knew
05:12
I always, when I um approach stand up comedy and I knew what
05:16
it was.
05:17
I just always was like, I am not like I, I'm good but I'm not,
05:21
I knew how to give respects, unlike a lot of uh social media
05:27
influencers that are like, well, you know how many people
05:30
know me, you know, how many people know I am and it's just like
05:34
that's why to this day you seem, I don't wanna say motherfuckers
05:38
but all right, whatever you see motherfuckers who, um, who
05:42
have millions and millions and millions of followers trying
05:45
to get some stage time and they are the same people that go on
05:49
and then they just bomb and they go, well, I can get them next
05:52
time.
05:52
You know what I mean?
05:53
And there, and there is like, I, I always try to give the respect
05:57
I always give the respect that I need to give for stand up comedy
05:59
because it is not easy.
06:01
You're dealing with so many uh so many variables that can change
06:04
while you're on stage.
06:05
I've seen Eric Handle it very well.
06:07
I've seen you like, everybody talks about don't sit, don't
06:10
sit down, don't sit down, doesn't doubt because um or whatever
06:15
it is that, you know, it feels like, oh, you're not, you're
06:17
you're, you're not respecting the audience and stuff like
06:20
that.
06:20
But then when you do it, you crush it every time and you too,
06:23
like, I've seen all of you just go on stage and just really doesn't
06:27
matter who is in front of you guys, you crush it, you know.
06:30
So, and I'm still learning so much from you guys and seeing
06:34
that and being like, oh, that is definitely like I can write
06:37
but there's also how to be present, how to be on stage and like
06:40
how you were finding your voice of like something that irritates
06:43
you makes you funnier with me.
06:45
It's like, if I feel like my world is ending, that's what makes
06:48
me funnier.
06:49
You know what I'm saying?
06:50
I'm like, I have nothing to lose baby.
06:52
Like what the, and that's when I start like, finding my voice
06:55
in that you're a Phoenix.
06:57
I know you probably don't even follow us because I'm a DC guy
06:59
more than a Marvel dude.
07:00
But in Marvel comics, there's a character named Jean Gray
07:03
and she is also the Phoenix when she goes into this state of
07:08
almost psychosis or something that's happened for her to
07:11
break.
07:11
She turns into this Phoenix and Phoenix is the most powerful
07:14
mutant of all time.
07:16
And when I see you on that stage, whenever you're going through
07:19
something and you just be like, fuck it.
07:21
This is what's up.
07:24
But I'm learning that I didn't know that I would go on and be
07:26
like, hey guys, I'm, and then it was like recent where I'm like
07:31
yo, my life is over and I'm just like approaching it from that
07:34
angle and everyone's like that fucking bitch.
07:36
It's hilarious.
07:37
It's so funny.
07:39
And there was one time that I was making a joke, nobody was laughing
07:43
So I turned around and I was talking to the wall and I was like
07:45
why am I doing this if you had to.
07:48
Yeah.
07:48
Nowadays I just feel like things are changing.
07:51
I'm envious of these new guys coming up because I'm like, the
07:55
fact that y'all can bomb and everything is ok.
08:00
I bombed, I wanted to go straight home now.
08:03
People are bombing at the comedy club and hanging out and I'm
08:05
like, why are you here?
08:06
Go in your car and cry like we all did.
08:08
I started in New York.
08:09
If you bombed and you stuck around the club, they wouldn't
08:12
let you go over that bomb.
08:13
That's what I'm saying.
08:14
I would leave.
08:15
I'm gonna go home, I'm going home.
08:17
That car ride home or that train ride home is the worst ride
08:20
because you just like, man, you know those candles were too
08:23
loud.
08:23
Like you're trying to come up with a reason why you bomb, you
08:26
know, because they didn't have it.
08:28
Like you trying to find a reason why you bomb when I was in crack
08:32
them up Thursday in that room, you guys were all just like,
08:34
hey, before the show started, everybody was cool.
08:37
Everyone was having a good time and when the guy bombed, he
08:39
never went back in that room.
08:40
He just like went home and I was like, you know, you do the right
08:42
thing and, but you know what it like, this is what I learned
08:45
man.
08:46
Uh when you bomb, you gotta stay and this is why you gotta stay
08:50
Even if they roasting you or whatever.
08:53
Yeah, they respect you more because it's so easy to just get
08:55
in the car and go home because we all want to leave.
08:57
You don't think I want to leave every bomb.
09:00
But it's like, you'd be like, man, let me stay, let me, but I
09:03
don't like the comedians that stay in it and they'd be like
09:05
yeah, man, I probably should have, you'd be like, hey, we're
09:07
not going to talk about yourself.
09:09
Sit here and be uncomfortable and we can go from there.
09:13
I feel like it's a, it's a rule that they do not add to any jokes
09:17
You just sit there and chill every time they try to add it and
09:20
roast somebody else like, no, no, you're done.
09:21
You're done for the night you can stay, but you're done at all
09:24
I did a, I did a road gig with Robert Kelly.
09:26
Like he used to take me on the road with him and I remember we
09:28
did this club and I was opening for him.
09:31
I bombed, I'm bombing, I'm bombing like hard.
09:33
Like I could feel the sweat, you know, when you start feeling
09:35
the sweat forming in your head coming, I'm, I'm bombing, dude
09:40
So then I was like, I'm trying just to bring up, they finally
09:41
give me like, I'm gonna bring up a headline about, I bring him
09:44
up.
09:44
I do this handshake and he just holds my hand.
09:46
He goes.
09:46
No, no, no.
09:46
You're gonna sit in the back and I want you to watch the show
09:50
I want you to sit in this bomb and he, and I sat there because
09:54
I was like, this is, he's never gonna have me open for him and
09:57
I just watched him just destroy this crowd.
09:59
So for him, it was like, no, no, you're not gonna make excuses
10:01
and blame the crowd.
10:02
I want you to see that.
10:04
It was you, it was you and then that that car ride home.
10:06
He's like how, how that feel.
10:08
And I was like, man, you know, it was just uh you been doing this
10:12
long and he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I love those
10:15
headliners sitting in it.
10:16
I'm like damn well, I'm excited for more to talk about.
10:20
So we'll be back and when we get back from these commercial
10:23
breaks, we're going to talk about white people problems.
10:25
Yes, sir.
10:26
I'm glad I'm waiting for this.
10:27
Did you see that Jones Hill?
10:28
Text the DM that he sent his girl.
10:30
I really appreciate that.
10:31
He did do that because honestly you got to see crazy off back
10:34
and we're back.
10:35
Ok, we're back and we're going to be talking white people problems
10:40
My favorite segment.
10:41
A white people problems.
10:43
I mean, you're around them all the time.
10:46
You got the white man.
10:48
You got the Here's King Zest over here.
10:55
Yes, I'm telling you right now.
10:57
Welcome to the podcast coming at me like this.
11:01
So the Ceo Bob Iger said, said that the writers and actors union
11:07
going on a strike in Hollywood are not being realistic with
11:11
their expectations.
11:12
Let me tell you something.
11:13
Anyway, what is their expectations?
11:15
What are they asking for?
11:15
Did you want fair compensation, fair compensation?
11:21
I always felt like writers were always making money in the
11:25
game.
11:25
I'm like we were always not eating and writers were always
11:29
eating writers, network writers.
11:34
And that's the thing the streaming streaming took over in
11:37
I want to say 2013 as far as what was the orange is the new black
11:41
was white, the first series called House of Card.
11:44
And when streaming took over their contracts are very different
11:48
because they could give you ultra s a low budget which meant
11:51
you're getting peanuts or your residuals aren't set up because
11:54
this is a new thing.
11:55
It wasn't like network or anything.
11:57
So streaming was so new that now people are like, yo, man, I
12:00
got a hit show on Netflix or Hulu or whatever and I'm not making
12:04
the money that you would think that I'm making from this hit
12:07
Let's renegotiate these contracts.
12:09
So that's what's going on with everybody.
12:12
And the interesting thing about that is that the networks
12:15
are sticking with the streamers instead of like having the
12:18
streamers have it figured out themselves because then you
12:21
can really alienate them in a way we're like fine then we won't
12:24
work with streaming services anymore.
12:25
We'll just work with networks, you know.
12:28
Um, but it just seems like they're sticking together as a conglomerate
12:31
and they're not trying to find a happy medium.
12:33
Another thing that really pisses me off is that now.
12:36
And, you know, Netflix is saying like, oh, you know, they,
12:39
they had that contract where it's kind of like, oh, we'll pay
12:41
you peanuts because we're a streaming service and we don't
12:44
know if we're gonna be here tomorrow, right?
12:46
You've been here long enough and you are putting commercials
12:50
now.
12:50
So what's the problem?
12:51
What's the problem?
12:52
You got commercials now?
12:53
What's the problem?
12:53
Pay them?
12:54
You got ad money and subscription money.
12:56
That's crazy.
12:57
And you know, like there's a lot of projects, there's certain
13:00
projects that I've done where I've, you know, done stuff and
13:03
I don't, I barely, I don't even get residuals for it.
13:05
You know what I mean?
13:06
And it's just like as a, as a um as a creator.
13:10
How do you, how do you live off that?
13:13
And I think that, you know, one thing that I do commend is that
13:17
the actors and the writers are sticking together and hopefully
13:21
there is a common ground where there is protection for actors
13:24
and writers.
13:25
If you not protesting, you should start in 1000% because social
13:32
media is already a wild.
13:32
Wow, it's already a wild west right here real quick.
13:35
Somebody explained perpetuity it.
13:41
Let me tell you he's going to use that shit and not know what
13:45
it mean.
13:46
Thank you.
13:47
Let me tell you something.
13:48
Right now.
13:48
I was right at 13, I had perpetuity.
13:53
So you know what I mean?
13:54
I'll let you know right now.
13:55
I ain't got that problem.
13:56
He looked lost and then he repeated it.
13:58
That's why I, how would I use that in a sentence?
14:02
Perpetuity is forever, right?
14:05
So if I hire you so picture like this, hey man, do this comedy
14:10
show for me.
14:10
Like bet, here's the rate we negotiate.
14:12
You're like, oh, I'm cool.
14:13
This is great.
14:15
You sign a release form.
14:16
But on that release form, I can use this video of your performance
14:19
and perpetuity.
14:21
That means I can post this anywhere on any site forever and
14:25
not have to give you anything.
14:26
Let me tell you something right now.
14:27
That word came up three times in this contract when I signed
14:30
something.
14:31
You motherfucker think you got me forever.
14:34
You got another thing coming, I stop him five times.
14:37
Listen, man.
14:42
The ain't no perpetuity.
14:45
I sold a show separately.
14:47
I did a licensing deal for one of the shows that I had sold and
14:51
it said perpetuity.
14:52
And I was like, hey, let's talk about that.
14:54
And they were like, oh, no, no, no, no.
14:55
It's just, and I'm like, well, let's have, it's just written
14:58
in here.
14:59
So I know exactly how long and it became for, like, a year and
15:02
a half.
15:02
And I'm like, I can do that and perpetuity on some life.
15:06
No.
15:06
No.
15:07
Yeah.
15:08
The contracts are, and you know what's so interesting?
15:10
They always, they always let me know contract.
15:14
So if you don't read it, it's kind of like, ends up being your
15:17
fault.
15:18
But it's like if you don't know and you're eager and all this
15:21
stuff you're gonna get screwed over.
15:22
Like, for example, the guy who did Squid games, oh, don't break
15:27
my heart.
15:30
900 million views, I think.
15:32
Or more than that.
15:33
You definitely got more than that.
15:35
Yeah, definitely more than that.
15:36
And you're telling me and you know, that's another thing that
15:38
streaming services do.
15:39
They don't even show you how many streams just so that they
15:42
could hold up.
15:43
That's messed up.
15:43
That's, that's, that's messed up.
15:45
That's evil.
15:45
But if you own Netflix is it messed up?
15:49
I mean, if you own a motherfucking Netflix, is it messed up
15:52
for you?
15:53
You getting paid?
15:54
I owe Netflix.
15:58
Netflix.
15:59
I would like, let me tell you something.
16:00
You mother fio, you get out of my fucking because if it wasn't
16:06
for these creative minds, there would be no Netflix.
16:10
They know that.
16:11
No.
16:11
Exactly.
16:12
So paid if you know, then paid.
16:13
But aren't we starting our own shit?
16:15
We, everyone, aren't we doing our own thing?
16:18
Like with youtube dropping our own stuff, we're going that
16:21
way, right?
16:22
The youtube still owns Well, the thing is that with youtube
16:27
wait, wait, hold on.
16:28
I got three clips.
16:33
But youtube also pays you how much for every 1000 View?
16:36
They don't pay you a lot.
16:38
They don't do a lot, like $2 every 1000 View before it used to
16:40
be a lot of money and then it used to be.
16:42
Facebook pays the most.
16:43
But I will say that youtube does something that I haven't seen
16:47
any other company do and that is perpetuity.
16:52
You burned that out.
16:53
Let's say you make an amount of money on youtube in a month.
16:55
Let's say let's create the number being $15,000.
16:59
Let's say you make $15,000 you get a video that goes crazy and
17:03
the next month it's still at 15,000.
17:06
It's up to your decrease in content outtake, I mean output
17:11
for it to decrease.
17:12
So it stays there.
17:14
Whereas other sites, if you post a video and let's say you make
17:16
even a million dollars when that next month starts on day one
17:20
it's zero and you got to work your way back up.
17:22
So youtube is at least good in that regard.
17:25
So what's going to happen?
17:26
Hold on before we stray too far.
17:28
The reason we want to bring up the Bob Iger thing is like Jesus
17:31
says writers are making money, not all writers are making
17:33
money.
17:34
There's a certain few writers like you'll get the big Shonda
17:36
Rhimes.
17:36
I'm not attacking her at all like creative content she's making
17:40
you know, there's like the and Ted Lasso, like those are the
17:45
big time writers, but there's also the writers in the room
17:48
the, the lower level writers who aren't making right now
17:52
on strike, not making any money.
17:53
So they're not, they're not paying their rent, nothing benefits
17:56
Like all of that's on hold right now.
17:58
So you got a guy like Bob Iger who's going like, oh, they're
18:01
being unrealistic and the longer the strike goes the worse
18:03
it gets for those guys.
18:05
Meanwhile, this dude just signed an extension for $30 million
18:08
to stay with Disney.
18:09
So who's unrealistic?
18:11
Like he's got the money, they got the money, these big networks
18:14
they gave in all the way and this is what I learned.
18:17
If they gave in to the writers and the actors every demand,
18:21
it still wouldn't affect their bottom line.
18:23
So right now you're dealing with greed, which is unfortunate
18:26
man.
18:27
This is why, you know, trying to get to the moon.
18:29
You know what I mean?
18:29
They got their own little projects.
18:32
That's when it's like an excessive, that's when it's an excessive
18:36
of capitalism when it's like, it's excessive.
18:38
Like you can see it, it's so black and white where they're like
18:43
I am not going to give you nothing but it's like, bro, you're
18:47
not even coming up with the stories.
18:49
Do you think the more money you get the weirder you start getting
18:53
Because you don't have to come out of the house.
18:55
People get weird when you don't come out the house.
18:57
Right?
18:57
And then people just delivering stuff to you all the time.
19:00
Pandemic made all of us weird, bro.
19:04
I was going to go into that.
19:05
I'm going to jump into that uh Jonah Hill.
19:08
Did you see that Jonah Hill text?
19:10
Do you think that that money is the thing that made him?
19:12
Yeah, I think so because he's kind of a, I feel like he was like
19:16
a down to earth dude, you know what I mean?
19:18
And he was chubby going through this thing and he just felt
19:20
like no because keep it real that guy, he wasn't fucking, but
19:24
after super bad he was fucking, you know what I'm saying?
19:27
And he started like, you know, he obviously, you know, was
19:30
smashing but like when you smash a bad bitch, you get insecure
19:33
and I think that's what happened to him because he, you know
19:35
he realized that a bad bitch likes you like in the moment and
19:40
then when that moment pass, that bad bitch is gonna do what
19:43
you break your heart so many times that now he has a list of things
19:49
that he wants to point like I'm being real super bad.
19:55
He was a chubby kid striped shirt and now look at him, he's dressing
19:57
like a drug lord in Miami vice and he got his girl on the same
20:00
outfit.
20:01
He looks like a lesbian that moved to Hawaii.
20:03
Let me tell you right here.
20:08
You are a married man.
20:08
You and your wife ever wear mattress just like him too.
20:11
Now that I, you know what, they didn't even just match in color
20:16
it's the exact outfit he should have put on the list.
20:18
Like if you can't wear the same stuff I'm wearing can't even
20:22
be smells like sunscreen.
20:25
But you know what I was saying?
20:26
Well, and maybe some of the comments might rip me up for this
20:29
But what I do appreciate is that he has a list and no, I do appreciate
20:33
that because if I'm dating him and he has that list, I'm gonna
20:35
go.
20:36
No, thank you black.
20:37
Goodbye.
20:38
Then I'm not, I'm not your partner because right there he says
20:41
it.
20:41
He and if you need surfing with men boundary list, inappropriate
20:48
friendships with men to model to post pictures of yourself
20:52
in a bathing suit, to post sexual pictures, friendships with
20:56
women who are in unstable places and from your wild recent
20:59
past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful
21:03
I am not the right partner for you.
21:05
We can't be friends, girl.
21:06
I'm joking.
21:07
See, that's what I'm saying, like, but that's what, that's
21:10
what I'm saying.
21:10
You know how many times has this happened to him?
21:12
Hold on, let me just say something.
21:14
Let me say something.
21:15
He said surfing with men.
21:16
Let me say they already in the water or they going together
21:18
you gotta, you gotta clarify that.
21:21
Let me say something.
21:22
What I appreciate about this text message is that a lot of men
21:26
don't do this, right?
21:28
So the women are in these relationships suffering for long
21:31
periods of time because out of nowhere, he'll just be like
21:34
he'll just start an argument with you because of this.
21:37
That and the third and you're in this miserable relationship
21:39
because you think it's gonna change or you think it's gonna
21:41
get better.
21:42
He's saying I'm not gonna change.
21:44
I'm crazy.
21:44
I'm insecure.
21:45
And if this is not the, the, the cult that you wanna be part of
21:49
then goodbye.
21:51
You know what I'm saying?
21:51
You're giving me the option to walk away.
21:54
I'm like, that's a red flag.
21:55
Thank you.
21:56
I don't want anything to do with you versus a lot of dudes.
21:59
They hide it.
22:00
They, you know, that's how they manipulate.
22:01
They gaslight, they say, oh no, I never said this on and they
22:05
and then you're suffering for years versus, versus getting
22:08
a text where you're like, I'm crazy.
22:10
But uh yeah, dude, that guy is a wild insecure dude.
22:13
You know, because when I saw him, I was like, damn, I went through
22:15
the same shit in middle school.
22:18
You know what I'm saying?
22:18
Like II I sent that message in middle school but it's like,
22:21
I'm also not a fan of people screenshotting, bro.
22:24
Like he approached her knowing that she's a surfer.
22:28
So you're an idiot.
22:29
That's what I was a surfer and a model because those are the
22:32
two things up there that I was like, wait, was she modeling
22:34
and surfing before you, you met her as a surfer and a model?
22:41
She could let go.
22:42
Now you can let go.
22:43
Sweetie.
22:43
What would your Jonah Hill list be, be honest because you don't
22:49
see me mad.
22:54
I know you was crazy.
22:55
We got to clip that up.
22:58
You win the bun.
23:00
She said what I needed and then she evil laughed.
23:06
You don't want to see me mad.
23:09
I knew you was full of shit.
23:11
I see the craziness when I fucking you walk.
23:13
She was hitting us with Ted talk hands like she was like, listen
23:16
I'm educated, I'm stable and she just the mad that I am is like
23:23
you've never existed and that could never be the incredible
23:29
all the time.
23:31
No, I'm not giving you my list because then you're going to
23:33
sit there and make fun of the list.
23:34
It's a zesty list.
23:35
It's just say that shit.
23:39
If it's just say that it has an accent, it's like and I need you
23:43
to um what I need is what type of lotion you use.
23:48
I feel like I apologize ct I apologize for my girl.
23:55
I can what I fucking hate that if it's a problem, say it's a problem
24:02
don't act like it ain't a problem.
24:03
Hold that shit.
24:04
In and I hear that shit like a week ago and I'm like, why we could
24:08
have fixed it back then and why are you building it up?
24:11
This is why it wasn't fucking because of this problem that
24:13
I could have fixed and we could have fucked that day.
24:14
God damn.
24:16
So please, please, if there's a problem, speak up, be an adult
24:19
and just speak up through it because one of my love languages
24:23
is words of affirmation.
24:25
So it's like it's got to be words of affirmation that.
24:28
Oh look at your shoes, your shoes are amazing.
24:32
Hold on.
24:33
What did you say it?
24:35
Words of positive affirmations of positive.
24:37
He takes that to me because is going home, going home.
24:44
Can I get affirmation in perpetuity?
24:47
He goes, where's the positive?
24:48
Where's the positive?
24:49
No, he said words of affirmation.
24:51
Words of affirmation.
24:52
Let me tell you something right now.
24:53
That's what I've been saying.
24:54
That's all I've been asking for.
24:55
Thank you for saying that.
24:56
Can I get a compliment to this motherfucker?
24:59
Like you know what I mean?
24:59
Can I get a a that was good.
25:01
I need, I need that.
25:02
I need someone to tell me in perpetuity.
25:04
This is good.
25:05
Oh You made that, that was delicious.
25:06
My girl be walking out like the sandwich wasn't good.
25:09
I did you like the the sandwich?
25:11
She was just like, OK, what the fuck does mean?
25:15
And that just fucks with me.
25:16
I need a fucking, that was I need words like amazing.
25:19
The best I've ever had.
25:21
I love you too.
25:22
Another story we got is Kiki Palmer's boyfriend.
25:25
Let me tell you something.
25:26
He don't even have a name.
25:28
Yeah.
25:29
Let me know.
25:30
I don't know what's going on, what's happening with this.
25:32
So Kiki Palmer was on stage with Usher in Vegas.
25:35
I believe the king.
25:37
I want to see a picture if you guys have it.
25:38
Do we have the video of him singing to her?
25:42
Look good?
25:43
That may be their favorite.
25:44
That's true, man.
25:45
I've seen some skinny girls, good kids and they come out with
25:47
like 80% of them are, you know what I'm saying?
25:50
I'm like now you got the right way.
25:51
Maybe 85.
25:52
It might be.
25:54
She's on stage with him, Usher singing to her.
25:57
She got an outfit that's a little revealing but it's not like
25:59
she's not looking trashy.
26:01
No elegant as always.
26:03
She had them cheeks showing.
26:04
That's the only difference I need to see cheeks.
26:06
So there's the outfit right there and I think she posts all
26:09
of it.
26:09
She shows that one and then she shows a little but I need to see
26:13
it all I'll say is this right?
26:15
And he comments under it.
26:17
Thank you for, let me tell you something when you post a comment
26:20
after something like that.
26:21
That's when you know she's still on his mind the day after he
26:25
had an issue with it.
26:25
Ok.
26:26
Here we go.
26:27
Damn, they weren't out.
26:33
I didn't know the truck was that big.
26:36
I sure is feeling right there.
26:43
And then the boyfriend had some issues about it and he went
26:46
online.
26:47
He didn't call her, he didn't text her online.
26:50
He said, look at this.
26:51
Really?
26:52
He said, what did he say?
26:54
He was like, you're a mother but you're a mother.
26:58
The outfit though, you're a mother.
27:01
And it was like, yo, come on, man, first and foremost, as a man
27:05
here we go.
27:06
As a man beyond if you have a child with this woman or not, if
27:10
you were in a relationship with a woman, you do not go online
27:15
to publicly embarrass or say anything against your woman
27:20
That is a conversation reserved for you guys in private at
27:23
home.
27:24
So for him to have said that was extremely disgusting.
27:27
Uh It was also come on, man, this woman gave you a child and you
27:31
about to just say this in front of the world to see that annoyed
27:34
me.
27:35
Damn.
27:36
How would you handle that?
27:37
Jesus.
27:37
Come on, man.
27:38
Every Latino I want to talk to him.
27:43
Latino dads that go inside of the room and they hear it inside
27:46
the house, you know what I mean?
27:46
But outside their own, they be cool and shit.
27:51
OK?
27:51
Have a good time to have a drunk wife.
27:53
Like I was like, OK, that's when you know she fucked up.
27:57
When he starts telling everybody it's OK.
27:59
Good bye to everybody.
28:00
Come down because when I get home, he's here, the next party
28:05
he's over there for a Jehovah witness Latinos will do that
28:09
shit in private.
28:10
We do not publicly throw our shit.
28:12
Remember as a kid getting who we'd be out in public.
28:15
I like come and take this dressing room and you like OK, what
28:18
are we trying something wrong?
28:20
You know what it was to the dressing room?
28:21
You had to be quiet because she didn't want anybody here and
28:24
you just had to come out like you didn't get jazz.
28:26
But you know what I think what happened was he, they had, he
28:29
had the discussion at the house.
28:30
He felt like nobody, he wasn't being heard.
28:32
She wasn't listening to him.
28:33
He was like, hey, why are you wearing that?
28:34
He was like, oh why are you insecure at that?
28:36
And he felt so frustrated.
28:37
He was in the bathroom like I gotta put this online and that's
28:40
probably what happened.
28:41
You don't own this woman, bro.
28:42
Like even if you were a lot of people were like, yo, you saying
28:45
this and she's the mother of your child, but she's not your
28:47
wife, even if she was his wife, he doesn't own her.
28:51
So it's like there's a way to handle every situation.
28:55
You think he was cool as she was leaving like, oh girl, you look
28:58
good and what bothered him was Usher just like, that's what
29:03
bothered him.
29:04
I ain't going to lie if I saw that pose in my girl's picture and
29:06
then he was doing Usher was, I would have been a little nervous
29:10
but that's when you get uncomfortable.
29:12
Are you ready for this?
29:13
I'm uncomfortable if my girl is wearing that and Usher doesn't
29:17
choose to sing to her.
29:18
That's what I'm like, I make a bad decision.
29:23
Picked my girl to sing to.
29:28
If he didn't write anything, everybody would have forgotten
29:30
about it because how many times has Beyonce worn something
29:33
like that?
29:34
And Jay Z don't be like you're a mom.
29:36
If Usher would have danced on her and she would have reached
29:39
for his dick or something like that or did something on him
29:44
and tried to kiss him or whatever.
29:46
Then it's like, hey baby girl, you know what I mean?
29:49
But this was innocent, Usher was respectful.
29:51
Your lady was respectful.
29:52
She didn't lift up the, the dress to show the cheeks, cheeks
29:56
was looking great.
29:57
And you got this audacity.
29:59
Come on.
30:00
Listen, if you never would have tweeted anything, nobody
30:03
would have been talking about it.
30:04
It would have been like, oh, she looked great.
30:06
She went to, she went to Usher's party.
30:08
It was dope.
30:09
Boom.
30:09
After this commercial break, we're going to come back and
30:11
we're gonna have so two of the week.
30:13
All right, stick around.
30:13
Don't go nowhere.
30:14
Uh Kick back.
30:15
So I said I'm gonna get my revenge and the whole time I'm like
30:18
I'm gonna kick him in the fucking chest.
30:21
I just don't know when he's in it.
30:23
Everybody's cheering him on and I just fucking deliver a kick
30:26
and he just like, he couldn't breathe and everybody's like
30:29
what the fuck y'all?
30:30
Welcome back and right away, we're gonna jump right straight
30:34
to it.
30:34
My favorite segment.
30:35
Uh This is the Silver tooth kid of the week.
30:38
Do you know what silver do you know about silver tooth kids
30:41
You know, you know what's up, man?
30:42
You've seen these kids, these kids who just have, you know
30:48
everyone who has any kid that has, that is a wild boy.
30:51
Oh You know what I mean?
30:53
Uh I was one of those kids so much sense.
30:57
I was that guy.
30:58
I think he was not surprised though.
30:59
He said, yeah, yeah, I was fifth grade movie teachers.
31:02
All kinds of shit, man.
31:03
I was a wild boy.
31:08
Check this first of all, it's already starting off in a headlock
31:11
so it's not good.
31:12
We got two silver two.
31:13
We got a two for one.
31:15
Let's see.
31:16
All right, dude.
31:17
Look at, he's crying, look at his face.
31:18
That was my face.
31:21
That's my childhood right there, dude.
31:22
All my cousins who, that's what he gets, that's what he gets
31:28
I mean, come on, we've all had that one relative who was trying
31:31
to play with us like that and then we just had enough.
31:34
You know, we just had enough and we smacked the shit out there
31:38
right?
31:39
But let me tell you, he's a better man than my cousin.
31:42
My cousins would whoop my ass.
31:43
Well, no, he knows the cameras on him.
31:45
That's why he's smiling.
31:47
I'm gonna get his ass once that camera's down, he's going to
31:50
whoop that kid's ass.
31:52
Look at the face right there.
31:54
He's like, I'm not doing nothing.
31:55
He's like get off me.
31:56
So my cousin, we would play video games, we play Mario Kart
31:59
since Nintendo 64 right?
32:01
And he would just like when I would beat him, he was older.
32:04
So he didn't like the fact that I was like, I was just focused
32:07
at this point.
32:07
I didn't talk to anybody.
32:08
I was in, you know what I mean?
32:09
I was just fucking trying to beat him cause like he kept winning
32:11
me.
32:11
He always did that cheat when you go up the hill and then he just
32:13
hops over.
32:14
I'm like fucking, I finally got it and he missed it and I'm beating
32:18
him.
32:18
I'm getting excited and in one of those, he just fucking just
32:21
covers my face and they, they're covering my face and I'm just
32:23
like, ah no, and I look up, by the time I look up, I lost.
32:28
So I was like, all right, so I passed the control pass like,
32:30
hey, the next, next, you know I was like, so I said, I'm gonna
32:33
get my revenge and the whole time I'm like, I'm gonna kick him
32:37
in the fucking chest.
32:38
I just don't know when, I don't know how he's, he's in the floor
32:43
I'm like, fucking what uh third grade maybe.
32:45
Anyway, he was like in middle school, you know what I mean?
32:47
And he was crisscross applesauce.
32:48
So I was like, I'm gonna, I'm close to the door to the exit.
32:52
I'm gonna kick the shit out of his fucking chest and then run
32:55
out.
32:56
I just didn't know when I'm waiting for the right time.
32:58
He's in it.
32:59
Everybody's cheering him on and I'm just waiting and I just
33:02
fucking delivered a kick and where the air out like, you know
33:05
like, and he just like, you couldn't breathe and everybody's
33:10
like, what the fuck I run out and I just, you know, I'm passing
33:15
my uncle's hopping over everybody drinking and say, hey,
33:17
what happened to what happened?
33:18
And then you see him run out, grabbing his chest.
33:21
We never snitched on each other or you know, the adults grab
33:24
us like, hey, what's going on?
33:25
Talk to us?
33:25
And we're like, no, nothing, no, we're just playing tag.
33:28
It's like, oh let them be.
33:29
He fucking caught up to me.
33:30
He whooped my ass so bad, he spit in my face.
33:35
They took like, you know, little nuggets and they would put
33:38
it in my forehead and they would just slap me around and this
33:43
happened every time we hung out.
33:45
He wouldn't let it go for like a week.
33:46
Let me ask you this.
33:47
Yes.
33:47
Tell me, was he a therapist in your mind before you decided
33:53
to kick him?
33:54
Did an option ever come across your mind and say let me also
33:58
cover his eyes back.
33:59
No, because I wanted pain.
34:02
I wanted, I wanted a punch.
34:04
It was like, no, this is, this is violence now.
34:07
It's like fuck the eyes.
34:08
This is like years of abuse.
34:10
You know what I mean?
34:11
I'm going to hit him and it was like AJ Claude Van Damme kick
34:14
You know what I mean?
34:15
It was one of those that it was just like, and then this motherfucker
34:18
just got hit in the chest and I just, and I was like, and I'll
34:23
run, my head is like run so in real life it was so much.
34:28
But it's like even to this day, like when we're in like get togethers
34:32
there's still like this weird tension between us because
34:34
he kicked him in the fucking chest and then he'll never forget
34:37
about that.
34:37
Even though he's done more stuff than me, he's farted in my
34:39
face, pinned me down so much to you right now.
34:43
So you telling me that after a while you just beat you up?
34:46
That's what happened because you know what that kick was,
34:50
what is he doing right now?
34:54
Hold on.
34:55
What's he doing right now with his life?
34:58
He's serving the country so I'm afraid of it.
35:00
We got the right guy serving the country over there fucking
35:03
pinning people over there and fight in their faces now, thank
35:06
God, we got the right guy.
35:08
I don't need a gun.
35:09
I don't need a gun.
35:10
I got you because you're a comedian.
35:14
He's got good posture.
35:15
I'm starting to see where the hate is coming from.
35:16
It's a guy with good posture so maybe I can date both as the ass
35:24
How about that?
35:26
I mean, you never got back at an older cousin bulling you.
35:28
Well, here's the thing, man.
35:30
All my cousins were girls.
35:32
I'm like the only boy in my family.
35:34
So like I had to find a different way to get back at girls like
35:37
they would break my toys and I would literally try and think
35:40
of ways to get back at them and then I had a growth spurt and they
35:44
just became nice, but I still had the damage done.
35:47
So I'm like, I can't do anything but I wish I could have done
35:50
something.
35:51
Did you ever get like the whole like you got to go chaperone
35:54
their dates?
35:55
No, because they were older than me.
35:56
So I had to be um when boys start coming around, they would ask
36:00
me to lie for them or whatever.
36:02
And you know, when you're the chubby kid, you just want snacks
36:05
you're like, all right, bring me something back to eat.
36:07
You know what I mean, ok, so I would have cookies and shit.
36:09
But other than that, no, wait, so they were older than you and
36:12
they would break your toys.
36:14
I had a green Ranger toy and they broke the leg.
36:19
How much older?
36:20
About 3.5 years.
36:22
But you've got to remember 10 and 13 is a big difference.
36:26
I never heard of girls being like, look at my little brother
36:29
What a loser.
36:30
Let me break his toy because my sisters would have been so caught
36:36
up with boys.
36:37
Like they would just be like, I don't even have time for.
36:38
Those were my cousins, my older sister, she didn't.
36:41
So this is when I visited my dad for the summer.
36:43
So it was like my older stepsister, my cousin and that, yeah
36:48
but if this was my sister, she beat for you, dude, I would torture
36:54
my older cousins.
36:55
I would torture them and they do the whole, like everybody
36:58
remember back in the day when the boy band were out and all the
37:01
cousins were mimic or do the dance that they see in the boy band
37:05
videos, they do the dance and they do like a show like the whole
37:08
like, you know, the hangouts, the barbecues, right?
37:11
One of them has a CD.
37:12
So they'll just rehearse and practice and my job was to ruin
37:16
the show.
37:18
That was my job.
37:19
Who made this your job?
37:21
I made this my job because there's something about happiness
37:24
I just wanted to ruin.
37:25
I was just like, yo, why are they having such a great time?
37:27
And no one's thinking about doing this.
37:31
So I would just be the, and he was looking at, ok, so I'm going
37:35
to hire you to get my little cousins involved.
37:38
I'm like, we're going to press the once a week or twice a week
37:40
twice a week.
37:41
I do my demon but I, I didn't get invited to a couple of weddings
37:46
So that's fine.
37:46
You know what I mean?
37:47
I get it.
37:47
I know what's up.
37:48
But yeah, man, it was fun.
37:49
It was fun times.
37:50
I had a childhood, Eric, not like you that talked to himself
37:52
in the mirror.
37:53
What are you talking about?
37:54
You look like a childhood hit him right in the chest and it was
37:57
my job to ruin fun.
37:58
What kind of childhood is this?
38:00
My child does not sound like a good childhood.
38:01
My childhood.
38:03
Oh Don't X out check what's coming up after this commercial
38:05
break.
38:06
So the way that you handle a bad chick is act like you've been
38:10
there before.
38:11
You got to act like this is not your first one and uh they will
38:15
sense that.
38:16
All right, we're going to go off to the next segment.
38:19
My favorite segment called Pedro, that's where we answer
38:21
listen to mail comments.
38:22
D MS, texts, whatever you send in.
38:24
And luckily we got expert CT with us in the house.
38:28
We don't know what the hell we, there we go.
38:34
What does it mean?
38:38
We give advice and sometimes it's good advice.
38:40
Sometimes it's not, but we don't claim to be expert so you could
38:43
take it with a grain of salt.
38:45
Liam.
38:45
What have we got?
38:46
All right.
38:46
Here it is.
38:47
Hey, geez.
38:47
I just broke up with my boyfriend of seven years.
38:52
No, I kid, I'm kidding.
38:53
I'm kidding.
38:53
I'm kidding.
38:54
I had to say, I'm sorry, sorry, I'm just kidding.
38:57
I apologize.
38:58
I am friends with a lot of his friends and don't want to lose
39:01
them in the process.
39:03
What's the of a breakup, threesome question you had before
39:07
But ok, this one, what are the rules of a breakup nowadays,
39:11
man?
39:13
Like are you when you're done?
39:15
You're done with everything about her, right?
39:16
Her friends that hang out, everything is gone, right?
39:20
Is that how you see it?
39:21
It's gone.
39:21
They're cut off.
39:22
That's it.
39:22
You got, I mean, here's the thing, like if you, if you guys are
39:25
broken up, you gotta kiss them friends.
39:27
Goodbye because as you said, they're his friends as well.
39:30
So it's like yo just start with your fresh lake, hit the friends
39:33
and he wouldn't let you hang around when y'all were together
39:35
Yeah.
39:35
It's the same thing as a family.
39:36
Like if you break up with someone and you were dating them,
39:40
you have to get rid of the family.
39:41
I mean, there's sometimes where it's, there's some relationships
39:46
with people who are still friends with family and stuff like
39:48
that but it's not common, it's not a common thing.
39:50
Like, it's mostly like you break up with that, you break up
39:53
with the family.
39:54
But there's a lot of people that stay in relationships because
39:56
they love the family more.
39:58
Yeah.
39:58
I was, I was not ready to leave this one girl and I just, because
40:02
of her family.
40:03
No, for the friends like I just, I just wanted them to want to
40:07
break up.
40:08
I would, we all had that break up where I didn't want to break
40:11
up.
40:11
And this person was like, yeah, I'm just not seeing eye to eye
40:14
and I'm like, bitch, you're not and we can get glasses like
40:16
what do you need?
40:17
Like you see eye to eye and then so I didn't, I wasn't ready to
40:20
let go.
40:21
This is the first break up that I wasn't ready to her window
40:24
with a boom box.
40:25
It was something like that so we can work it out.
40:27
I had a car.
40:28
I uh would go stalk her a little bit and just be like follow her
40:31
at work and she's like we just need to talk.
40:33
She's not answering the message, just just talk to me.
40:36
It was like uh and the more she pushed me away, the more I was
40:39
like, yo, I need to talk just yo, yo, this is like Latino hitch
40:43
like don't tell you, they tell you.
40:44
And so I was like, all right, bitch, if you're not gonna talk
40:47
to me, I'm going to be friends with your friends so I'm gonna
40:51
force to be around your world and I was in my Yeah, I'm not saying
40:55
it wasn't just the girls that do that though.
40:59
You know, they keep saying that men and women are so different
41:01
but this is like such a woman thing, Women do this stuff.
41:04
She's just a girl to do the same thing as women.
41:09
How old were you?
41:10
Thank you.
41:11
I was going to say thank you for saying that I was 20 years old
41:13
Can you relax you?
41:15
So no, let me tell you something, right?
41:21
Let me just talk to you.
41:23
Let me, let me just explain.
41:27
Can we talk, please?
41:31
Dude?
41:31
So thirsty it was better going into your room and fucking writing
41:37
in a journal.
41:37
That's exactly what you probably did.
41:39
I guarantee you.
41:40
You hurt you, you hurt me.
41:42
No one hurt you, you hurt me.
41:44
No, you should.
41:45
If you see a picture of her, you fucking your shit yourself
41:47
She was that bad.
41:48
She was hot.
41:49
It was one of those.
41:49
It was a bad bitch.
41:50
I had a Jonah Hill.
41:51
Was it your first one?
41:54
You know it was the first one.
41:55
It's like they got to teach classes on your first bad bitch
41:58
and she was older.
41:59
That's the thing people don't understand.
42:02
So here's the thing when you say it, I'll tell you the first
42:06
bad bitch that I had and I'll tell you the rules.
42:08
The first bad one I had was out here in LA.
42:12
I was 21.
42:13
She was maybe 33 but she had money.
42:19
She had one of the, so she was the first woman that she was like
42:22
yo, I'm at De Madre on which is a very pricey hotel at the time
42:26
I think.
42:26
And I went to the hotel and we had fun and then the next day she
42:30
went to work and it was $100 bill on my pants.
42:33
And I was like, hey, you left some money.
42:35
You made money on my pants.
42:37
She was like, oh yeah, that's just for you to get a cab home.
42:39
I was like little do you know bitch, I'm getting on the bus and
42:42
pocketing the rest of the walking $100.
42:45
But when she ended things, it was so abrupt, she was going through
42:48
stuff in her life, I think lost a close family member.
42:51
And during that time I didn't know how to be there for her.
42:54
I wanted to be, but I had never really experienced loss.
42:56
So anyway, we stopped kicking and I was just like, hey, what's
42:59
up?
42:59
Let's hang out.
43:00
I want to see you.
43:01
And she was like, hey, I'm busy but you know, we'll catch up
43:04
at some point and I'm like, I don't think we're going to catch
43:06
up at some point what's going on.
43:07
You just don't know.
43:09
So the way that you handle a bad chick is act like you've been
43:12
there before.
43:14
You got to act like this is not your first one and they will sense
43:18
that.
43:19
Yeah.
43:19
Also, like, I think it should be, uh, just know this isn't forever
43:24
GF while is there just don't.
43:26
The thing is you think?
43:27
Oh, this is it.
43:27
That's Velma, the one I, I stopped talking to friends.
43:30
I'm focusing on this like I'm giving her whatever she wants
43:32
It's like not just enjoy it.
43:33
This ain't forever when she stops answering.
43:35
That was it?
43:36
Accept it.
43:37
That was it.
43:37
It's done.
43:38
That was it.
43:39
You know what I mean?
43:40
You got some video so you can live.
43:41
It's something.
43:42
Yeah.
43:42
You know what I mean?
43:43
Something you can look by and be like this became a therapy
43:45
session for Jesus.
43:46
He Yeah, it took me a while.
43:48
It took me a couple of years to fucking delete all those videos
43:51
I'm like I gotta delete this sex tape.
43:53
I had to get old.
43:54
I had to move on.
43:55
Russell wasn't going to let it go.
43:56
I'm like, no, I following this bitch way too much.
43:57
That's it is the same for guys.
44:00
Is it the same for guys?
44:02
Like a hot like a 10?
44:04
Like if you're dating an NBA player?
44:07
I don't know.
44:07
Honestly, I'm so bad.
44:12
You've got some good thing.
44:13
You're just like, ok, so, ok, cool.
44:15
I get it like, yeah, you're busy.
44:17
You know, I, I'm going to be honest with you.
44:19
Um, I grew up with six.
44:20
I know, I keep saying that it's like a broken record but I, my
44:24
brothers were like a very attractive men and I've seen women
44:28
like how they were like, oh, like, I remember seeing my brothers
44:33
just get women to do things a certain way that when I would see
44:37
an attractive dude, it wouldn't register to me because my
44:42
brothers were like the dudes that girls were going like, I'm
44:45
talking about some girl was stalking my brother for 10 years
44:49
OK?
44:50
I'm talking about, I'm talking about a girl lit a door on fire
44:54
for one of my other brothers, I'm talking, this is what I'm
44:57
talking about like and the girls just thought that they were
45:00
good looking and I was like, ew if this is what good looking
45:02
men do and I'm related to these motherfuckers, it never really
45:06
registered to me.
45:07
So you're not with good looking dudes.
45:09
I do get with good looking dudes but I never like, well, I'm
45:13
in a relationship right now.
45:14
Not a good looking dude, but he's not a good looking dude.
45:16
He good looking dude.
45:18
You just an MLK speech like I don't see good look.
45:22
I see the content of their character, whoop his ass.
45:25
I can whoop his ass.
45:27
No, I'm just saying like, dating wise, I was just like, I would
45:30
kind of be like, whatever about it and then I had to block somebody
45:35
because they were stalking me.
45:36
You wouldn't find you out in the streets.
45:40
You know, that's another thing.
45:42
Really beautiful women.
45:44
IP IP.
45:46
P if you want to get with me, ok, you got to be in some big event
45:52
or some exclusive house party to meet really beautiful women
45:58
outside of like, oh she's at a gas station to be around bad chicks
46:02
You've got to be around other bad chicks.
46:03
It's like the episode of Seinfeld.
46:04
You've got to be invited into that and you're not just going
46:07
to see a Sasha in the wild and you ain't never been to the Bronx
46:12
all over.
46:16
Yes, they might look like me.
46:17
They might look like me but they will cut you and they will beat
46:20
your ass up.
46:21
I will not date them in the acting world.
46:23
There are some very beautiful women.
46:25
Very beautiful.
46:26
But yes, but when you get into the social media world, they
46:32
eclipse these actors.
46:33
So it's like an 80% difference on how beautiful these regular
46:41
women are that you would never run into if you weren't in that
46:44
world.
46:45
Yeah.
46:46
Crazy.
46:47
Yeah, I mean, if you, if you just watch CT sketches, I would
46:50
tell them this is what I would deal with though.
46:53
I would deal with dudes that I already knew like they were like
46:56
or like, you know where dudes that didn't only have me and they
47:01
were like, trying to act like, no, you're the only one, you're
47:03
the only, I'm like, bro, why are you lying?
47:05
Like that would piss me off.
47:06
I'm like, bro, can we just chill and have a, no, no, no, that's
47:09
that's, I'm just, I'm just smashing you.
47:15
I'm like, bro, that's smashing you.
47:20
I'm like, yo, I can take other people.
47:23
It's not that bad.
47:24
No, no, no, no, you, I like you.
47:26
And then that's the thing.
47:27
That's when it's like now you're lying, right?
47:29
Those are the same dudes that wake up and their car is slash
47:32
Those are the same dudes that wake up and see that something
47:34
happened because you're lying.
47:35
Don't lie.
47:36
I'm just going to be like, all right, I'm just going to walk
47:38
I'm just gonna Sasha just admitted to crime allegedly allegedly
47:47
You know, I just get better.
47:49
I just get better.
47:50
The truth of my, a lot of men can't be honest because what a lot
47:55
of us crave are different things.
47:57
There is some we've been with say that again, we can't because
48:01
we want different things.
48:03
So I'll just think about myself myself.
48:07
I need you to love me.
48:09
I need you to be infatuated with me.
48:12
And that only comes, well, obviously, I'm an adult man and
48:16
I'm married, but it's like before it, and it's like I had gotten
48:18
to a point where I evolved into telling the truth.
48:20
But before that you lie because you're like, if I tell you that
48:25
you're one of many, you're not going to give me the love and
48:28
attention that I need from you.
48:30
But if I make you feel like you're the only one, you'll give
48:32
it all to me.
48:33
So that's why a lot to do.
48:35
That's why you hit him with the list.
48:37
Like Jonah Hill said, I need you to love me.
48:40
I need you to care for me.
48:42
I need you to do all these things.
48:44
We are going off on a tangent.
48:46
This poor person needs advice, the rules of a breakup and now
48:49
we've gone.
48:50
Listen, the advice is a bitch.
48:52
Let go of everybody, everybody.
48:56
So that is it for our episode before these two spiral out of
48:59
control.
49:00
Uh Hey, you got two big words to work on today.
49:05
Big.
49:06
Thank you to Clay Thomas for coming by CTCT.
49:11
I had a ball.
49:14
This was really fun.
49:15
Can you tell people where they can find you?
49:17
Yes.
49:19
CT is dope on everything at CT is dope.
49:22
Check out the Patreon come over there.
49:24
I'm posting everything and anything.
49:26
I'm starting a new podcast called Flower Sessions where I'm
49:29
giving people their flowers for different things that they've
49:32
done that have impacted my life.
49:34
So my first guest is my high school drama teacher.
49:37
Oh, damn.
49:37
That's what's up.
49:38
Yeah, that's beautiful.
49:40
Thank you guys for tuning in.
49:42
If you like the episode.
49:42
Make sure you hit that like button.
49:44
Subscribe.
49:45
Share, be a friend.
49:46
Tell a friend.
49:46
Come on, let's get the word out and let's keep spreading the
49:48
love.
49:49
Yes, sir.
49:49
I can throw a horn.