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Latino Parent Stories, Erewhon and Losing Your Virginity

3G's
Sasha, Erik, & Jesus chop it up and break down growing up Latino, the boujee Erewhon lifestyle, and losing your virginity. Featuring Jesus Sepulveda, Erik Rivera, and Sasha Merci.
Show transcript
00:00
Bag like I was always bagging and people like mommy, where
00:02
you at?
00:02
How you doing?
00:03
I could walk outside on the street with rolls on and people
00:05
would be like, yo, it was good man.
00:06
Out here you got to be just like getting like damn, I'm so New
00:14
York.
00:14
I'm trying to figure out like put me on game because I'm like
00:17
a, I'm gonna bag you like I'm gonna, I'm gonna put you in the
00:22
New York is very cute with their words.
00:23
I get back all the time.
00:26
But I, I feel like I have to be like, what's my name is Sasa Mercy
00:37
I'm Eric Rivera.
00:38
She's a part of the building.
00:40
Oh Welcome to three Gs in a pod.
00:41
Me too messed up when they gave us a TV show.
00:44
So right now go heat up your cooking because we about to chop
00:48
it up and talk some real stuff.
00:50
Also before we start the show, if you like what you see, subscribe
00:53
comment, tell your friends about us, tell strangers, strangers
00:57
tell about this show, right?
01:00
What does L A mean to you?
01:02
Like, like, I don't know, I mean when people always tell you
01:06
like, oh, you're so L A like, oh, you're being in L A right now
01:09
I'm like, what does that mean?
01:10
Is it like, is acting like a certain class?
01:14
You know, when I go back home and let's say I feel like L A is a
01:19
healthier lifestyle if I, oh, I, because I, because I run every
01:22
morning, my family.
01:23
Oh, you're so L A just because I'm, I'm exercising and take
01:26
care of myself.
01:26
Oh, you stretching?
01:27
Oh, you so L A, 00, you order a salad?
01:30
So L A and you're like, I'm just, I'm just trying to be healthier
01:32
because, uh, what part of L A are you at?
01:35
Trying to be healthy, dude.
01:36
There's a lot of unhealthy sieves stuff going on.
01:39
You know what it is?
01:40
Being from New York City, everybody lives on top of each other
01:42
Like pancakes.
01:43
So, like I thought that I, I knew what it was to live alone, right
01:47
Like I'm like, oh, I'm an independent woman.
01:49
I live by myself.
01:50
I do my own thing, right?
01:51
But it wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles that I was like, oh
01:55
this is alone.
01:57
Like when I was living, no, look, when I was living in my own
02:00
apartment, my parents or my family would just show up knocking
02:02
on my door like, yo, sis, what you doing?
02:04
And I'm like, bro, like, leave me alone, right?
02:07
And then in L A, like there's no one like checking for you like
02:11
no one's no one's knocking, no one's nothing.
02:13
So it's like if you make plans in L A, let's say somebody is like
02:16
yo next Tuesday, let's hang out and you go.
02:18
Yeah, but then you cancel those plans now you have nothing
02:20
to do that Tuesday period, period.
02:22
Like you gotta stick to plans in L A because if now you're not
02:25
doing nothing in New York, New York City is like in New York
02:27
City, you could go out and walk around the block and there's
02:30
people around you at all times.
02:31
Like L A is one of those.
02:32
Like if you go out for a walk, it gets depressing.
02:37
Yeah, I'm, I'm not walking at all in L A.
02:39
I'm driving you.
02:40
Well, yeah, I, I still don't have a license.
02:43
Um I'm working on it, I'm working on it.
02:45
We should have a license update.
02:47
How's it going?
02:48
Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
02:49
I'm gonna do it.
02:50
But what, I'll be, Uber, Uber and Uber and Uber and it, well
02:55
well, so uh one of my favorite places to go out in L A is a.
03:00
Have you gone to a, come on, look at me, of course, I look at,
03:06
how do you spell it?
03:07
How do you spell me up, man?
03:10
Say he, I'm like God damn girl, what is that?
03:14
You know what?
03:15
I don't know what Arian is.
03:16
What is a, so there's, there's different levels of shopping
03:20
I, I, listen, I don't mean a whole, ok.
03:25
No, no.
03:25
Hold on, hold on before you even get to.
03:28
There's different, there's different levels of food shopping
03:31
Jesus.
03:31
And I don't mean this as an insult, but you strike me as a, as
03:35
a Ralph's kind of guy.
03:36
No, no.
03:37
Hold on.
03:38
Hold on time out.
03:39
Maybe even.
03:41
I used to be, I used to be a, but now I'm a bond, you know, kind
03:46
of guy.
03:46
So they used to be.
03:49
There's Ralph, there's bonds and then you get into the Trader
03:51
Joe's, that's like a gateway to get into the, the whole foods
03:54
and sprouts.
03:55
You don't go whole foods and sprouts.
03:57
Now, whole foods and sprouts is like a trust fund baby, man
04:00
You, you acting like you is the, is the billionaire parent
04:04
that the way you're talking, I guarantee you the way you're
04:06
talking, I guarantee you you were a double mask kind of guy
04:08
How are you?
04:09
Now?
04:09
I can tell you where you were a double mask.
04:12
You strike me as a bandana or I'm gonna kind of exactly what
04:19
are you talking about?
04:19
My mask.
04:20
Where is this store at its select few places?
04:25
Uh If, if you ever want to spend uh $27 on an apple, you go to air
04:30
1%.
04:31
Let me tell you something.
04:32
Ok.
04:32
Look, I'm a Trader Joe's kind of girl.
04:34
All right.
04:34
I love Trader Joe.
04:36
OK.
04:37
I'm doing ok.
04:38
Like, even when I tell my family it's like, oh, yeah, I go shopping
04:40
They're like, we are, like, it's like, you know, but then I
04:48
got introduced to a, and it is very expensive and sometimes
04:53
I feel like I just want to make money just so I could afford that
04:56
kind of Latino dishes.
04:57
Are you doing?
05:01
You know, they got things that are so helpful for your, you
05:04
know, you can eat like, oh yeah, man, they got nutrition.
05:09
They got smoothies.
05:10
Yeah, the food is cooked.
05:12
I don't know how beans would taste with you.
05:14
You know?
05:15
You know what it is?
05:16
Ok.
05:16
This is the thing, right?
05:17
You got a $17 smoothie there.
05:19
But they have a bank up front where you can get a loan so that
05:21
you can buy this stuff to pay it off smoothie is, is delicious
05:26
It's, as they got the berries, they got White privilege, they
05:29
put all that stuff in there so that you can feel good about yourself
05:33
No.
05:34
You know what it is too.
05:35
It's like my dad, he, every time, like I will go to the supermarket
05:39
I'll get canned beans and stuff like that.
05:41
My dad has always been the person like, no, don't eat canned
05:43
beans.
05:44
Depressed because there's a lot of depression in the cans
05:47
right?
05:48
There's a lot of chemicals.
05:49
So, so with a, a lot of the stuff, all of the stuff is like, you
05:53
know, not all of it, but a lot of it is like chemical free and
05:56
all this stuff is more natural and you're paying more for it
05:59
You know, you can, you know, since we can't grow it ourselves
06:03
and make it, they do it for us.
06:04
Thank you.
06:06
No, thank you.
06:07
Look at that.
06:07
Why would you want to buy that?
06:09
What is that?
06:13
You drink one of those smoothies, dude, you don't have to go
06:15
to the doctor for like two years.
06:17
It fixes everything inside your childhood issues.
06:21
Just come out like that's how you keep calling your parents
06:24
and apologizing for all this.
06:25
You know what?
06:26
You be in a as hell right now?
06:28
You doing too much.
06:31
No man.
06:31
Come on, man.
06:32
But it's good.
06:33
It's good for you.
06:33
Your skin is good for your health.
06:35
It's good for all that stuff.
06:36
And I feel like I know that you go to a and eat there because your
06:39
skin is you got really good skin.
06:41
Let's look at the skin care face wash, you do skin ointments
06:47
and creams.
06:50
You got that hot girl on the club skin.
06:52
You know you got skin, you worried about your skin.
06:57
I worried about my skin.
06:59
You could growing up.
07:02
You're the most zestiest dude.
07:04
I know.
07:04
I bet you you just look at yourself in the mirror before you
07:06
go to bed and it checks for it like I know Jesus didn't have a
07:12
good childhood.
07:12
He's making fun of me for having skin, look at you taking care
07:15
of yourself.
07:17
Oh Real quick.
07:18
Honestly, he's creating a visual because I'm looking at your
07:21
skin and I'm like, I've never seen a pimple in this guy.
07:23
You feel as long as I grow up, I have bad acne.
07:26
So now it's one of those things where I take better care my skin
07:29
and you know, so were you ever called like pizza phase when
07:32
you were a kid?
07:34
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
07:35
I was just asking him for a month.
07:42
Like Eric, you just, I'm gonna share something with y'all
07:46
So growing up in high school this pizzeria opened up like a
07:50
block away from my house and I would go every day after school
07:54
I would just go every day.
07:55
So I started getting acne like around right here, right on
07:58
the side and I went to the dermatologist and I was like, hey
08:01
what's going on?
08:02
And he's like, you got a lot of oil.
08:03
He's like, what are you eating?
08:04
I was like pizza every day.
08:06
He's like, yeah, you gotta stop that and gone.
08:08
You.
08:09
So it is like the literal like you become what you eat.
08:11
Like he became a pizza.
08:13
At what age?
08:14
I was in high school.
08:15
I was in high school.
08:16
I was like 16, 17.
08:18
So now it's one of those things where I'm like, oh, I gotta take
08:20
better care of my skin and then I started doing research.
08:22
Yeah, I go, I get face products some stuff because I don't come
08:26
on, you need to share it.
08:27
Like I feel like you're gatekeeping right now.
08:32
They got me products, you know, hold on another store.
08:35
What, what, how do you spell that?
08:39
Kiehl Eric.
08:42
Tell me something manly that you do because so far I'm not here
08:46
No manly stuff.
08:47
Keels.
08:47
What is that?
08:48
What you want products?
08:53
All I go is just like yo lotion cool.
08:55
I don't read you look like you read the lit.
08:56
What is in here?
08:57
Is this organic?
08:58
What is this?
08:59
Oh I'm sorry, not all you I just rub dirt on my face and walk around
09:03
all I need.
09:04
I just feel like I'm in the but like I mean I get it like moving
09:08
out here.
09:08
You want to take care of yourself more even I'm taking care
09:11
of myself more like one of the things I do miss from back home
09:14
is that I could wear sweats 24 hours a day and still bag.
09:18
Yeah, bag like I was always back the people like mommy, where
09:21
you at?
09:21
How you doing?
09:21
I could walk outside on the street with rollers on and people
09:24
would be like, yo, it was good man out here you got to be just
09:29
like getting like damn, I'm so New York, I'm trying to figure
09:34
out like put me on game because I'm like a I'm gonna bag you like
09:37
I'm gonna I'm gonna put you in New York is very cute with their
09:42
words.
09:43
I get back all the time but I, I feel like I have to be like I get
09:49
back all the time.
09:50
You know, it's what I, first of all, I'm just saying like out
09:54
here I was trying to make a point that out there I could wear
09:57
sweats all the time and I don't have to be like this feminine
09:59
like, oh I have to be like this pretty girl.
10:02
And now here in Los Angeles, you have to like put up a facade
10:05
and that's what I miss about back home as well.
10:07
You can still, you can still back.
10:09
I, I hate when people do that like you could go out and, and,
10:12
and catch, catch a dude like we, that's why we got to take care
10:17
of ourselves.
10:17
He can't go out and sweat like, hey, what's up?
10:19
Let me tell you right now.
10:20
I've never been bagged in my life.
10:22
I'm not a bagged kind of guy.
10:23
You know what I mean?
10:23
Nobody, nobody trying to bag this.
10:25
I'm the type that get returned.
10:27
You know what I mean?
10:27
Maybe you should go to and air one dude.
10:29
You'll get back.
10:30
I like as soon as you eat like rice or beans from there, your
10:36
skin is gonna be like when I do go back home, you know when I used
10:39
to go back home like, and I used to be because, you know, I'm
10:43
in a small town so they used to be like, oh, the guy from L A and
10:45
you know, we dress different.
10:47
I'd be acting like I'm from L A and shit.
10:48
So right away girls were more interested in me because I, I
10:51
wouldn't even say I'm from the small town anymore.
10:53
I was like, I'm from L A now.
10:54
You know what I mean?
10:55
How is L A?
10:56
You know, L A did give you some like, you know, some game.
10:59
So that's one thing I do miss about like I shot back home back
11:04
in the day when I used to be single.
11:06
I used to be like, you know what I mean?
11:07
OK.
11:07
So then back home, you used to beg.
11:10
I used to but, but not because of the way I look because of just
11:14
living in L A.
11:14
You know, it give you some type of experience.
11:17
Yeah.
11:18
So wait, do you miss going back home or?
11:20
I miss it?
11:20
I miss it.
11:21
I miss the uh outdoor stuff.
11:23
I'm from Arizona.
11:23
So I like miss hiking and you can't, you really can't, dude
11:30
over here it ain't hiking when there's like million dollar
11:32
homes all around you.
11:33
And they're just like making you feel like crap because you
11:36
can go back to your little ass apartment so angry because it
11:38
it pisses me off.
11:40
OK?
11:41
You're just over here hiking.
11:42
Just your whole OK.
11:44
So the difference in Arizona when you're hiking in Arizona
11:46
there's no view.
11:47
It's just like a view of like other rocks, not a view.
11:49
It's legit just nature.
11:51
Like over here when you go hiking and running and canyon, it's
11:55
like people are like, are y'all modeling?
11:57
What's going on?
11:58
This girl?
11:58
This girl is hiking in makeup.
12:01
You know what I mean?
12:01
I smell like colognes and perfumes and I'm like, who's putting
12:03
on cologne when you're hiking?
12:05
Like, what do you wear when you hike, by the way, you make it
12:07
sound like you show up.
12:10
It's like this.
12:12
I am rough when I come out, you know, when I'm done hiking, I'm
12:15
smelling rough.
12:16
I'm smelling like wilderness like just rough all my toxins
12:20
out.
12:21
You know, when you, when you go hiking, you smell like baby
12:24
powder.
12:24
I don't know how you hike, dude.
12:26
You make it sound like you, man versus why you out there with
12:28
a stick to I, I hike hike hike.
12:36
Ok.
12:36
I'm out there like sweating.
12:38
I'm out there.
12:39
I'm not like these, these guys are checking their like Eric
12:43
over there.
12:43
He goes running.
12:46
He still, he looks like a Nike commercial.
12:48
You know what I mean?
12:48
When I'm, I'm, I'm gonna stop you right there.
12:50
I'm gonna stop you right there.
12:52
You should see me.
12:52
I'm like a Apple watch.
12:54
It gives me my pulse.
12:54
I don't need to do this.
12:55
You're ridiculous.
12:56
What I'm doing?
12:58
Make your life.
13:00
What do you miss from back home.
13:02
Er, what do you miss home?
13:03
I miss, like, I do miss my family but it's, it's so funny, like
13:06
I'll go back home and I don't know if you guys feel like this
13:08
like the, the, the, the strings will be pulled on the heart
13:12
uh, on your heart strings and you're like, oh, I miss my family
13:14
and then when you get home and within the day you're like, yeah
13:16
I gotta go back.
13:18
Yeah, I gotta go back to L A.
13:20
It is crazy.
13:21
That, that's what I'm saying.
13:22
Like I, I, I didn't realize that I'm like, I learned solitude
13:26
out here like, OK, what it is to be alone and kind of be alone
13:29
with your thoughts.
13:30
But at home it's like everybody's like bickering and all this
13:33
stuff and it's just like somebody talking about the, it's
13:37
like this whole bunch of stuff.
13:38
So much drama.
13:39
Yeah.
13:39
Yeah.
13:39
Yeah.
13:40
When I go back home it's like, oh let's go to my uncle's house
13:41
No, we're not talking right now.
13:42
We're not talking.
13:45
You guys are family.
13:46
What are you guys talking about?
13:47
Like, no, he didn't pay me for the barbecue.
13:49
We did not.
13:50
I was just like, all right, that's why like that's why like
13:54
when I go back home and I'm like, bringing people to meet my
13:57
family, like it's very hard because sometimes I'm like, I
14:00
don't do that and people be like, what is it?
14:01
Like we're not friends.
14:02
Like, why don't you want me to meet your parents?
14:04
I'm like, no, they're embarrassing me bringing dudes home
14:08
to meet you.
14:08
Like, how many, how many dudes have you brought home to meet
14:10
your parents?
14:10
That's a very invasive question.
14:12
That's what we, first of all, you've been dropping breadcrumbs
14:19
of, of sadness.
14:21
We need to know what's happening here.
14:27
No.
14:28
OK.
14:28
So um no, when my parents, when I introduce them to like who
14:32
I'm dating my parents, like them to like bring something like
14:35
it doesn't matter.
14:36
Like if it's a bottle of wine, it doesn't matter.
14:38
It's like a token of appreciation for smashing me.
14:40
No, I'm joking.
14:45
No, I don't know.
14:45
But it's always like, oh, like what is he, you know, bringing
14:49
and I feel like if I'm dating someone and it doesn't matter
14:51
what it is like if they, if they throw it out later, it doesn't
14:53
matter like, oh he likes you and he wants to impress us.
14:56
So like, you know, my parents like took the wrong way.
14:59
He would be like, hey, you think we don't, we cannot afford
15:03
like you've never brought anything over when you met a girl's
15:07
parents.
15:07
Like, no, no, you, you were saying like, oh God bring stuff
15:14
over.
15:15
He's like no, of course I would bring my charm first of all.
15:20
Right.
15:20
Listen my my app I, I ate everything.
15:24
You know what I mean?
15:25
I always like, you know, let the mom know, like, oh, it was great
15:27
Even though it was kind of whack.
15:28
But, like, oh, really?
15:29
You just eat it?
15:30
Like I have to.
15:31
Yeah.
15:31
Yeah.
15:32
I was born, I was raised by, like, hey, you eat it, even if you
15:36
don't like it, you eat it.
15:37
And I'm just, like, all right because the mom will get offended
15:40
Did you guys ever, like, feel like you couldn't date outside
15:43
your race?
15:44
No, you didn't feel like that?
15:47
Iii I know my mom wanted me to end up with.
15:51
Uh so I grew up, we were Pentecostal Christian uh a Pentecostal
15:55
Christian.
15:56
Like they're like the hard core like, you know, yeah, they
16:00
take Christianity to a whole different level.
16:02
So we have to wear skirts, skirts, speaking in tongues is the
16:06
fall out.
16:09
So my mom wanted me to end up with like a Jane Latina Pentecostal
16:14
Christian woman that, you know, follows the Bible and stuff
16:16
and I did not like I did like the so the first girl I brought home
16:21
I met her in college.
16:22
I dated her.
16:22
She was older than me.
16:23
She had a kid like my mom was just follow Yeah, my mom was gangster
16:27
though because like uh you know, you know, when you meet like
16:30
an older woman like as respect like, oh you know my face like
16:37
oh and she would look at me like, aren't you gonna say something
16:42
I'm like, no, I'm scared of my mother Yeah.
16:48
Yeah.
16:49
My parents were like, they didn't care like who I was dating
16:51
My, it didn't matter.
16:53
I mean, like, wow, the only difference I saw was like, when
17:00
I did get a white girl and I brought her to the house, like how
17:03
judgy my aunts were because then they'll just see her, they'll
17:08
judge everything.
17:08
Like she didn't serve me a plate and they were like, it must
17:13
be nice to live like that to worry about yourself.
17:16
And I'm just like, yo, like we're in high school.
17:18
You know what I mean?
17:19
Like we ain't married.
17:21
We fix a plate like that.
17:22
I felt uncomfortable asking her.
17:24
Can you fix me a plate?
17:24
Like yo, like we're still like, you know, we're just, we're
17:28
just talking, we're just hanging out.
17:30
But she did do a lot of like one thing that they laughed was that
17:32
she wanted to, she was concerned about something I said and
17:34
she's like um can, can we talk real quick?
17:37
And she did that?
17:38
Like can we go outside and we talk real quick?
17:40
And that they were make fun of me for years.
17:42
They still to this day like can we talk real quick?
17:44
And it wasn't that she wanted to talk to you about how I just
17:48
I feel like you're ignoring me, your cousin.
17:52
Oh no, you had to know.
17:53
Yeah.
17:53
No, it had to be, you know, hey, listen, now my mom, my mom would
17:56
try to do stuff that she thought was like, so my wife is white
17:59
So my mom would do stuff that she thought was white culture
18:01
to like impress my wife.
18:03
Like I remember one time she invited her over for brunch.
18:05
I was like, we ain't, we never had brunch at his house.
18:07
What do you really?
18:08
Really have her mom?
18:09
Like my mom just like dishes on the table.
18:12
Like over here we have the, the rice and beans over here.
18:15
I made the pancakes and, like, it was just random stuff on the
18:19
table, like, whatever.
18:20
Like, she saw a Disney, I mean, Dany's commercial.
18:23
She's like, maybe that's what they eat.
18:24
I was like, oh, ok.
18:26
Cool.
18:26
And, and my wife was like, um, have you guys ever done brunch
18:29
I was like, no, I don't know what she's doing.
18:31
Yeah.
18:32
Yeah.
18:33
It's funny because, like, my parents, they do want to impress
18:37
people and, um, my last boyfriend that I was with, it was funny
18:41
because, like, we grew up in the hood in the, in the Bronx and
18:44
stuff like that and they like, and my, my parents love to go
18:47
out and have drinks and stuff like that.
18:48
So we ended up going out and having drinks and my parents are
18:51
like, opening up to this, to my boyfriend and they're like
18:54
you know, we're from the Bronx, right?
18:56
And they're like, we're from the Bronx and the only reason
18:59
why nobody messed with us.
19:00
In the Bronx is because our sons were the Gangsters.
19:03
And I'm like, oh and I would like, always be afraid to like bring
19:08
guys to like meet my brothers.
19:09
And I'm like, oh my God.
19:10
So with the gangs because they were proud of that whenever
19:14
you brought someone over who did you prep them for like, I always
19:17
my mother like, yo, like my dad was cool.
19:20
My sister is fine.
19:21
But listen, my mother like that's who you got.
19:24
Like, she's the scary one.
19:25
You gotta be careful with her.
19:26
She's gonna be judging you.
19:27
She's gonna be looking you up and down, just, just hang tight
19:29
like stand strong.
19:31
I prep them for my brothers.
19:33
My brothers would be like, they'll just kind of like throw
19:35
stuff at them.
19:36
They, you know, they'll just, they'll challenge them and
19:40
I'm like, oh my God, I don't want to fight.
19:43
Yeah.
19:43
They'll just kind of be like, I don't know, they'll just say
19:46
stuff I can't remember one thing right now, but they'll just
19:49
kind of be like, yo, yeah, like they'll try to punk him.
19:52
So I'm like, damn, I don't want to be with somebody that can't
19:56
stand up for themselves.
19:57
But I also don't want nobody to fight my brothers, you know
19:59
So like I always prepped them for my brothers.
20:02
I got when I dated I, some girls' houses and I met their brothers
20:06
there.
20:06
I know what you mean.
20:07
Like they look at you like this?
20:09
I've had them actually tell me so what you can find or what,
20:12
what kind of girl I never had that in my life because I think
20:17
you know what I mean?
20:18
I like dangerous.
20:19
You know what I, I went with the dangerous girls, you know,
20:21
girls, I shouldn't be dating but I went there.
20:22
But it's funny because with me, right, like I, my brother bring
20:25
girls and stuff like that and they'll have me lie to them.
20:29
They'd be like, yo, I'm bringing so and so over.
20:31
Can you tell her I was talking about her all day yesterday.
20:34
Yeah, stuff like that.
20:36
Or he'll be like, yo, yo, her name is Stephanie and just be like
20:40
yeah, I've been talking about her for like a month, you know
20:42
and I'm just like, and I've never heard of this bitch, right
20:45
So I have to kind of be like, oh and if anybody really liked my
20:48
brothers, like we were in love with him or with them, I'd be
20:51
like, you, you are the dumbest bitch ever.
20:53
We can never be friends.
20:55
I became friends with the ones that they will break up and I'm
20:57
like, oh my God, thank God you little smart.
21:00
But yeah, no, but like they will always do, yo, my brothers
21:04
they will always prep me for stuff and then they were always
21:07
lying about certain things like, you know, there was one time
21:10
that I'm like, I'm learning dating through them, right?
21:13
So there was one time this guy was like, yo, like, let's hang
21:15
out.
21:15
I like, I'll meet you there and he's like, I see you soon and
21:19
hung up and I just went back to my bed and I just continued watching
21:21
TV.
21:22
And my brother was like, yo, you're not gonna go hang out with
21:24
this dude.
21:24
I said, no, no, like, no, he's like you lied, you lied.
21:28
And I was like, isn't that what I'm supposed to do?
21:30
This whole thing is about lying, right?
21:31
But I was like a teenager.
21:33
I was like, yeah, it's always, I don't know, it's, it's funny
21:35
like how when your relationship is so awkward when you do go
21:38
and meet the parents and stuff and just be in that show them
21:41
like where you used to grow up and you used to live and stuff
21:43
even like dog.
21:44
Like honestly, like when you're in the house the first night
21:48
and stuff, it is a little uncomfortable, you know, they start
21:50
asking all these questions, start bringing the baby pictures
21:52
you know what I mean?
21:53
But then also like after like a couple of nights, you never
21:56
got the baby pictures out.
21:57
You never got a boyfriend.
21:59
Like my parents, they always had that one of me like fully naked
22:05
Like out my, my thing is out like it's just out and I'm like,
22:10
why were you still have it?
22:11
Hilarious.
22:12
They love it.
22:15
Yeah, I was a baby.
22:16
I was a baby and I knew that was coming every time I saw the book
22:19
I'm like, oh, they're going to bring that.
22:19
That's the first one they go to, you know, the same size on my
22:24
dad, the same size as I, you know, it was funny.
22:26
Like they did, they did that a couple times like these, you
22:29
know, I remember, like bringing guys, like my boyfriends
22:34
Right.
22:34
Like I have one too, right?
22:35
So one of them I liked more than the other, right?
22:38
But the one that I didn't like the most they over here like,
22:40
oh you don't even know who you're dating.
22:42
Like Sasha is like, she's so special, right?
22:45
And then I break up with this guy and then the guy that I'm very
22:47
eager for them to meet, they're like, man just do you just do
22:52
you?
22:52
And I'm like, what the fuck I like and they're just like, you
22:55
know, got a lot going on, you know, and I'm like, hey, yo, a serious
22:59
question like, hey dude, she might be gay.
23:01
Look at these pictures, a lot of girls, you know, it's a serious
23:06
question.
23:06
Like for have you guys ever like hooked up while you were at
23:09
your parents' house?
23:10
Let's keep it 100.
23:14
Never at the parents' house.
23:16
Christians.
23:17
I thought the Lord were gonna strike me down, man.
23:20
I like, I like to live my life.
23:22
Let me tell you something.
23:22
I lost, I lost my virginity when I was a legal age because that's
23:27
how I, I was, I was of a legal age because I was just like, there
23:39
is no way that I was so afraid of my parents.
23:43
Like of me getting pregnant that I was like, I'd rather do drugs
23:46
first before having sex.
23:49
I was 18.
23:51
I was 18 too.
23:52
I don't like to say because I act like I'm out here like I was
23:56
18.
23:57
I was very respectful.
23:58
But like, no, I'm talking about talking about now when you
24:06
go and visit family, you, it's your wife, I'll tell you, I'm
24:17
about to say something that's gonna upset everybody because
24:20
it's upset my family.
24:21
But when I go back and visit, we stay at a hotel, we don't stay
24:23
Exactly.
24:24
That's what I was gonna say.
24:27
The same thing.
24:29
Same thing.
24:31
No, no, no, don't, don't, don't even, don't even, you, you
24:35
going back to Arizona?
24:36
Right.
24:37
Right.
24:37
And there's a, there's a house, right?
24:39
Ok.
24:40
I grew up in a one bedroom with four, like a two bedroom and it
24:44
was a two bedroom, my parents' bedroom and then it was my two
24:47
cousins, my two cousins and my uh and my girl cousins sharing
24:50
the one freaking bedroom and it was small and it was painted
24:54
red and I called the little hell, you know what I'm saying?
24:57
But anyway, so when I go back, I'm not gonna freaking bring
25:00
nobody there So that, that was the house.
25:03
No, I that's, that's now you remember you got a baby right now
25:08
Once that baby starts becoming mobile, your, your, your,
25:10
your girl is gonna say, hey, hey uh because trust me, look,
25:13
let me tell you, let me tell you something right now, dog, that
25:16
will never happen because my parents, my parents wouldn't
25:19
let that happen.
25:20
They would get so upset.
25:21
She would cause so much dr do you know how much drama that would
25:24
cause we're getting a, we're gonna get a room because we don't
25:28
want, I was the same way she is.
25:35
I was so and my grandson, if she doesn't wanna live, tell her
25:39
to get a room for herself.
25:40
It's too much drama.
25:41
I think I was the same way when my, when my first son was born
25:45
play, we were in my old room, didn't barely touch it.
25:48
I was like, all right now we hey, do you want?
25:50
No, no, the Lord's gonna strike us.
25:52
No, you stay on your side but I wanna know something.
25:54
How did you, how did you tell your mom?
25:56
Ok, let me tell you I was not gonna, so I wanna know the moment
25:59
she had to tell mom actually don't bring the the bring the,
26:02
bring the blankets and ma ma you don't have to do that because
26:04
so as my kid becomes mobile because right now you just got a
26:08
baby, you could just put the done once the baby becomes mobile
26:12
you start realizing that your parents have.
26:15
It's not baby proof.
26:16
I don't, don't let him put it in the socket and like mom, you
26:20
should have socket for the socket.
26:22
No, I like my mom had a glass table where the glass would like
26:25
slide off and just be not careful with his fingers.
26:28
I'm like, oh, that's dangerous.
26:30
Now, I know you grew up here.
26:31
You're fine.
26:31
And I'm like, no, uh you're right, you're right.
26:35
So finally my dad is like my sister's kids, they get hurt.
26:38
You didn't get hurt, you didn't put like a fence.
26:43
So you're gonna, by the time he grows up, he's gonna be sharp
26:48
This guy's got another life.
26:51
He's not gonna need an app in my old room doesn't have a lock
26:54
on the door.
26:55
So my mom, like we get in bed and we'd just be laying there talking
26:57
My mom walking is everything good and, and my wife is like,
27:01
um, ok, so it comes to the point where she's gonna go.
27:05
Hey, listen, we need our own space, especially for the baby
27:08
And you're gonna have, look, you, you don't want to, you don't
27:10
want to hear right now but you're gonna have to go.
27:12
Hey, mom and dad, listen.
27:13
Oh I, I can't, I don't know how old is the baby now, like three
27:21
months.
27:21
But he, he growing, he's looking like 18 months because parents
27:25
don't have any sense of safety like that.
27:27
That's how I, that's how I raised you.
27:29
Do we have you?
27:30
I know you got all the, the stuff because your girl the, with
27:33
the head support and stuff to hold the baby while you're carrying
27:36
the baby.
27:36
Yo, I gave that joint to my mom.
27:38
I was like, hey, can you wash the baby?
27:39
Yeah, I, I have it right.
27:41
I showed her the look, you buckle it in here.
27:43
He's safe, he's safe.
27:45
Everything's well, listen, I come home two hours later we
27:49
went out, we come home my mom has uh what I can only describe
27:52
it as a red rope that she got from Guatemala baby is strapped
27:56
to her back just hanging.
27:58
What did she say?
27:59
And my wife looks at me like um and I was like, and I, I do, you
28:04
did I I was like, hey mom, what happened to the oh I couldn't
28:08
figure it out but all I found this, this is how I you and your
28:12
sister and I'm like, yeah, but that doesn't have any back.
28:15
I saw a box and I'm like, yeah, I have, I have back, back problems
28:20
because of that.
28:21
So can you just that parents don't care that they're gonna
28:23
do it the way they want to do it.
28:24
My girl, can we put hand sanitizer and we grab my dad's picking
28:28
his OK.
28:30
You know what I mean?
28:30
Like can we just get a little oh he got to the, please get the
28:33
little for the baby, the baby, the baby for the grip.
28:38
You're making me afraid to have kids.
28:40
I'm like, damn, I just gonna do what they want to do.
28:44
Tell you'll give me a like, hey, can you do with the baby?
28:46
Can you, who's scary?
28:48
You like in your household?
28:49
Your mom or dad?
28:51
Dad?
28:52
I think they're both pretty scary, I think for me it's like
28:56
but the, the mom is more like a scary, that's kind of like yelling
29:00
and like, you, like, I really don't wanna hear it, you know
29:02
But, but my dad was always like a mysterious, scary, like a
29:05
suspense for like, you know, it's always like, you don't know
29:07
when he's gonna strike.
29:09
If he's just gonna, my dad would just come in and be like, just
29:12
show his belt like when it comes off and then you'll be like
29:16
oh my God, he's gonna hit me with the oh yeah, my dad would point
29:19
at the be like, hey, I take it off and someone's gonna get hit
29:23
He doesn't like, you know, he doesn't scare when it comes off
29:26
on, someone's gonna get hit.
29:27
So then quit.
29:28
So when he pulls it out, like one, like, all right, everybody
29:31
comes down, they pull it out.
29:32
Once, once he releases off that little middle piece, he's
29:36
just like, once it's off, it's off, you ain't gonna put it back
29:38
on.
29:39
My dad was the scariest, for sure.
29:41
Even my mom, I look at her like, are you, you can leave whenever
29:43
you want.
29:44
You don't gotta be here no more.
29:46
I was like, I don't talk like that.
29:48
Your father is gonna hear him.
29:50
Go, go, go, go.
29:52
Like, all right, I think for me it's like, you know, my aunt
29:55
because I was raised, I have like the whole entire different
29:58
childhood but like my aunt, yeah, my aunt, she would be like
30:02
what she says goes and so it should be like, if you don't do it
30:06
then I'm going to tell Jose Juan, which is my uncle.
30:09
And I'm like, oh my God.
30:10
And then if he, if he's there or whatever and he's just reinforcing
30:15
what she just said.
30:15
And just kind of like, man, I'm just going to listen to you because
30:18
I don't want to know the party like a third party now.
30:20
I was just like, yeah, but yeah, it's just more of a like, it's
30:24
just more of a thing.
30:25
So I'm like, do you think the way they raised this has made us
30:28
a tougher like culture than other cultures?
30:31
Just like I'm here?
30:33
You think so?
30:34
Yeah, I'm around the other cultures and I'm just like, yo,
30:37
y'all, this is the problem.
30:39
This ain't a problem for me.
30:41
This is like peace, this is paradise for me.
30:43
You know, like just hearing him complain about getting grounded
30:46
I'm like, bro, y'all get to go to your room without feeling
30:49
like a pain in your back of your head because you just got slapped
30:52
you play video games.
30:56
And that's the thing, like some people walk on this earth who
30:59
are adults that, you know, they never got slapped in the face
31:03
when they talk.
31:04
I just like you in the face.
31:06
And it is always like when you do like corporate is like corporate
31:10
jobs and they say to you like, if I could just fight you, there's
31:14
no consequence to what they know.
31:17
And that's why I always say like the Bronx did not prep me for
31:20
like the real world because in the Bronx where you go to school
31:22
you just kind of be like, oh I beat me outside fight, I might
31:26
lose, you might win but somebody's gonna get hands and feet
31:29
You don't argue with someone who's not like limited vocabulary
31:33
because they don't, when they, when they ran out of words on
31:37
the face, just like, I don't want to do that and then you can
31:40
start getting all they're gonna be like we fighting now let's
31:43
just go outside.
31:44
I'm done talking and then you, that's the thing.
31:47
But growing up in the Bronx, it didn't set me up, it didn't prep
31:50
me for like the professional world, corporate corporate
31:53
world.
31:53
They did it.
31:54
So it's like, you know, uh you will fight and then you probably
31:58
get suspended and go back to school.
31:59
But like when you at work and somebody is pissing you off.
32:02
You're like, damn like I, if I could just fight you.
32:05
Oh yeah.
32:07
You think, you think offices should have like a, a, like a choking
32:11
corner?
32:11
Like yo go meet me at the choking corner real quick.
32:13
I attitude.
32:15
I know, I know exactly what she's talking about.
32:17
Sometimes when I go to these DMV S sometimes I'm just like,
32:20
I'm sorry, but that's just, that's not gonna be possible.
32:23
Thank you.
32:24
That's not gonna be possible.
32:25
It's like what you mean?
32:25
It's not gonna be fucking possible.
32:27
You know, I mean, I start starts coming out and I talk about
32:30
the abuse of power in the DMV.
32:31
They do not give a fuck.
32:32
I'm like, yo, I just, yeah, I'm like a rush to get here and I was
32:36
on the line.
32:36
I hate that no matter, no matter what documents you bring.
32:39
It's not enough.
32:40
You know what I mean?
32:41
I got my birth certificate, I got my social security just like
32:44
yeah, we uh we don't uh you got that, I'm sorry, we don't have
32:47
that's when you wanna be like have a weapon but it's not even
32:50
to steal.
32:50
It's just to like be like, yo could just, you know, anyway,
32:54
I got, I got like, I feel like when you go into the corporate
32:57
world, you have what was known as white voice.
32:59
Like I've, I've seen Sasha do it.
33:01
It's funny like I've been around her and she's like, yo man
33:03
hold on one sec.
33:04
Hi, this is Sasha and I'm like, well because I worked in a hotel
33:08
for seven years.
33:10
I worked in a hotel for seven years.
33:11
So I would like pick up the phone.
33:13
I'm like, thank you for calling the Intercontinental.
33:17
This is Sasha speaking white boy in the building.
33:20
The only reason I bring that up is I, I am dying to hear white
33:23
voice because I just heard his DMV.
33:26
You can't help me out.
33:27
I got, I got no white voice.
33:29
You have to have a voice.
33:30
Uh I can mimic a white person.
33:32
I got a white voice.
33:35
I am like the worst person to talk to like with customer service
33:39
I can't even talk when I'm on the phone trying to return something
33:42
I'm just like, yeah, I got a white voice.
33:45
I'm going to tell you this right now.
33:46
When I use my white voice, things get done.
33:49
I'd be like I am completely appalled right now and how you guys
33:53
are holding me up.
33:54
I learn that word preposterous.
33:57
This is, I mean there was one time I forgot what it was but I had
34:01
to return something and they didn't want to return it or something
34:04
like that.
34:04
I'm like, so, so technically you're stealing from me because
34:08
you got y and if they fucking let me learn that because I'm over
34:11
here on the phone, you know, with the cable company and I'm
34:15
just like, yo, like y'all really messing on my day and stuff
34:17
Yo, like I'm using words.
34:19
We gotta, we gotta get you a white translator thing.
34:22
Yeah, here's a good one.
34:23
My wife always, this is unacceptable, unacceptable.
34:27
They start scrambling.
34:29
Let me tell you something real quick.
34:31
I remember I was ordering, uh I was working in a hotel and I would
34:33
order from this Dominican spot that was like near the area
34:36
in like 44th street, right?
34:38
So every time I call them, I'm like, I got you, you think?
34:43
All right.
34:44
So the order will come always fucked up.
34:47
Like as soon as they know like I was Dominican, right?
34:52
It will come fucked up.
34:53
And there was one time I was like, let me try the white boy, bro
34:56
I came on like I would like an order of to um and yes, I would
35:01
like uh rice beans, uh chicken and I would like it all as the
35:05
lunch special, right?
35:06
That's what you have.
35:07
And it came like like nothing.
35:09
And I was like, yo, these motherfuckers like it's like once
35:12
you have that white voice, you're gonna need to work on your
35:15
white voice.
35:15
And also if I could give you some advice uh when you call because
35:19
get rid of Jesus and make it Jesse, Jesse, pull it up.
35:23
This is unacceptable, uncalled for you.
35:26
See what with me?
35:27
It's like if they don't tell me the manager comes and tells
35:30
me I'm done.
35:31
I walk out.
35:31
I'm like, all right.
35:32
Well, I guess that's it.
35:33
Like, I don't, I, I went to AutoZone and I went in for a spark
35:37
plug and I'm, I'm confident, I'm like, I'm waiting in this
35:39
20.
35:40
Like, people lying.
35:41
I'm like, whatever, it's a spark, it's AutoZone.
35:43
This is a source for the spark plug.
35:45
He's like, and then always there's always like, now they've
35:47
got like kids.
35:47
This is how I know I'm getting old because I'm complaining
35:49
about these 18 year old in the front.
35:50
They're just like half ass in their job.
35:52
They didn't even, I didn't even think he typed, he just went
35:54
Oh Yeah, we've got it, dude.
35:55
Yeah, like we, you know, got it like, bro, like this is AutoZone
35:59
like this is where the spark plug, you know everything I need
36:03
a spa.
36:03
What am I gonna get a spark plug?
36:04
Like?
36:04
Yeah, dude.
36:05
Oh no, dude.
36:05
Uh Let me see and I hate when they do this little, when they do
36:09
a sound when they look at, let me so that pisses me off more because
36:14
he gives you a little bit of hope like he think he felt it and
36:16
he goes, you got it.
36:20
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
36:22
Can you check another one?
36:23
Which is where the I've got the Yeah.
36:26
Yeah.
36:26
Let me see and like mm I know like, oh you was happy and I'm like
36:35
yeah, the thing that pissed me off about this kid is just like
36:41
he didn't know other ways to, to fix the problem.
36:44
Like, he didn't had no problem.
36:46
Saw me skills because he was just like, he's like, yeah, we
36:48
don't got it, dude.
36:48
So, yeah, it sucks.
36:50
And then, and then I'm just like, well, can you check other
36:52
stores?
36:52
Like he never freaking thought of that?
36:54
He's like, 00 yeah, let me, yeah, let me check.
36:56
Actually, I don't know why.
36:58
Yeah, dude, we don't got it, we don't got it.
36:59
And I'm just like you mother like, I don't know, like we didn't
37:02
know what to do.
37:02
And I told him like, so, so what do I do?
37:04
Oh I think there's like Amazon, dude, I don't know.
37:07
You can try, hey, not to, not to bring it back.
37:10
But do you know where that doesn't happen?
37:12
One?
37:15
You gotta go, you gotta go.
37:16
It's gonna be, but that's the thing is it is one of those freaking
37:19
things that you, that you experienced it here, right in Los
37:23
Angeles.
37:23
Yo, Los Angeles, customer service is trash and even after
37:27
the pandemic is even freaking worse.
37:29
Is this?
37:29
Yeah, this is a fact like, yo, I'm telling you my man, like I
37:34
remember there's just too many stories where like customer
37:36
service.
37:37
I just wanna just fight somebody like straight up the thoughts
37:40
and opinions of you.
37:43
Not put that on me, on me over here.
37:48
You go to a store over here, you go to a retail store and they'd
37:50
be the first one to be like, hi, how may I assist you?
37:53
And they had a huge smile, warm welcoming and I was like, oh
37:56
do you have this like, in a small and they're like, absolutely
37:59
not in your face and you're like, ok, like, are you going to
38:04
check and like, no, we just don't have it.
38:08
I'm pretty sure we don't.
38:09
It's like, what the fuck?
38:10
And then it's like in New York City, you go to the store, you'll
38:14
like see like obviously nobody wants to do your job or whatever
38:17
And then like, you know, you gotta ask somebody for, you gotta
38:19
ask God for help and then you walk in, you finally get somebody
38:23
at the retail store and you be like, hey, do you have this in
38:26
a small and they'll be like um did you check out nine?
38:30
And you're like, yeah, I went to aisle nine and they didn't
38:32
have it like, are you sure?
38:33
Because I stock that shit and you're like, all right, I'm like
38:36
yo, I'm dead ass.
38:37
It's not on the aisle nine and they'll be like, all right, hold
38:39
on, let me check.
38:40
Do you guys have this in an actual song?
38:42
All right, can you help me out?
38:42
Because this bitch got attitude it, but they get the job done
38:46
though.
38:46
All right.
38:46
Ok.
38:47
Yeah, they gonna have, it's gonna be in at the front and they'll
38:49
walk away but they fucking try.
38:51
They still try.
38:53
They still just lie to me and act like you went there and, and
38:57
look for it.
38:57
I don't give, I don't give a damn if you go in the back and just
38:59
like yawn and stretch and then come back out and say, yeah,
39:01
we ain't got it.
39:02
You lie to me.
39:03
You rather take that story, Go to the back and do the sounds
39:06
back then.
39:07
No, you got it man.
39:09
Don't even get me started.
39:10
They did that in L A.
39:11
They did that stuff with my asthma pump and I'm like, this is
39:13
asthma.
39:14
I could die and they're like, we just, we didn't have, we didn't
39:18
have the the the medication.
39:20
I'm like, what do you mean?
39:21
I'm like, what do you mean?
39:22
You don't have the medication that oh we don't have the brand
39:24
I'm like, so give me another brand asthma.
39:26
I could die.
39:27
People are wild nowadays.
39:28
Speaking of wild people though, come to our next uh uh like
39:32
um segment, segment.
39:33
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
39:34
I like that like segment called the Silver Teeth of the week
39:37
And if you guys know you know what Silver teeth is, right?
39:39
That one, that, that one cousin, that one friend, that family
39:42
member that just like wild that does like dumb stuff, break
39:45
stuff and he told him why did you do it?
39:46
He just goes.
39:47
Oh no, I just did it like that kid is a silver teeth kid.
39:50
They always got that, those teeth.
39:52
They're all messed up because they eat candy.
39:53
They don't care about themselves.
39:54
You know, they start off at a young age.
39:56
You see them with these silver teeth and you're like, oh, this
39:58
is going shows up.
39:59
It's gonna be a wild boy.
40:01
Yeah, he's gonna be a boy.
40:02
He's already got Ryan teeth at this age.
40:05
By the time he's older, he's gonna be, he's that kid in the class
40:08
that when they're handing out the birthday invitation, he
40:09
don't get one.
40:10
Yeah, but he still show up, show up every day.
40:15
Why not?
40:15
My son?
40:16
He was behind you.
40:16
He's just like, what is that?
40:17
And takes his little invitation.
40:18
I'm gonna be there.
40:19
All right cool.
40:20
It was like, damn, I want invited.
40:21
You do.
40:22
All right.
40:22
Let's play this, play this clip for sure.
40:51
Glued to the bed.
40:55
He did that.
40:56
So you don't have to go to school, bro.
41:07
I love how he uses voice right here.
41:16
This should be like this is why you got to go to school.
41:18
You can't read what kind of glue you put when you, this is why
41:22
he should have been in class.
41:25
Are we gonna see the parents?
41:26
I would love to see the parents out.
41:31
Oh man, let me tell you something right here.
41:36
Let me tell you something, Bob.
41:37
All right.
41:37
That mom she definitely got silver.
41:40
She's raising silver teeth, kids in the streets.
41:42
You really like what you're doing?
41:43
Yeah, we gotta, you know what I mean?
41:44
Like what is going on?
41:59
I love her first attempt was like crazy glue.
42:02
Uh Let me get some water, get some hot water.
42:04
No, but if it was crazy glue, I've, I've glued my hands together
42:07
when I was a kid.
42:08
All you gotta do is dip your hand in oil.
42:10
Yeah, but yo he's stuck.
42:11
How is he gonna just put oil on that shit?
42:13
Keep putting oil on it.
42:14
Uh I would just try skin will heal.
42:18
I would just be like, you know what?
42:20
Let's just have another kid but we lost this one.
42:24
Let's try another one.
42:26
I mean, first of all, she looks like she's, you know, she looks
42:30
like how gang that my mom is, she would have unscrewed that
42:32
bed post and I would have gone to a school with a bed post in my
42:35
hand.
42:35
Hey, I can no, I can't do a recess today because I got this.
42:39
My dad, my dad would have been like like it off, show up with
42:49
the little piece so you can learn.
42:52
But the funny thing is like he's sitting there like watching
42:54
the TV.
42:55
Like my parents would have taken everything out of the room
42:57
locked the door and made it look like she doesn't make good
43:00
judgment calls.
43:01
Look at here.
43:02
It says it all bro.
43:03
Like, she was like a member from, I'm not pro hitting your kids
43:09
but the fact that that kid was doing an interview and not hit
43:11
like he had no bruise on him.
43:14
I know.
43:14
I know.
43:15
I know.
43:16
And what's crazy is, I don't know if you saw in the bottom corner
43:18
it said like I'm assuming like, dramatization.
43:21
So they made homeboy go through the whole mode.
43:23
Like, yeah.
43:26
Yeah.
43:26
Yeah.
43:26
He, he reacted his trauma right there.
43:28
That's like, oh that's the actual picture right there.
43:33
He's right there.
43:36
I don't know if that means uh he's, he did.
43:40
Yeah, he just put his two fingers over it.
43:42
Like this is like you get, you get the gist of it and then I watched
43:45
V all day.
43:46
No, my mom would have taken that to but no, how long was he stuck
43:50
there for?
43:51
That's what I'm trying to understand.
43:52
Like they didn't try to like go back what kid has leopard print
43:58
sheets on his bed that everybody shares in the house and the
44:04
bet that everybody shares in the house.
44:05
Yeah, this is like the worst Mexican version of Butter's Day
44:09
off.
44:09
Like this kid day off like that movie with him just glued to
44:14
the, to the goddamn ba You see how you know Mueller had a gold
44:18
premise idea.
44:19
He tricked the grown ups.
44:20
This kid just went nah I don't want to think.
44:22
I just want to force myself to be stuck, stuck in bed.
44:26
Yeah, he do got sexy sheets though.
44:27
I don't know why he did, why he got sexy cheats.
44:29
Everybody should, it looks like the, the family, you know
44:32
what it is like growing up in that room and like your family
44:36
No, but like I, growing up, I never had, I like a room that was
44:40
set up for me.
44:41
Like, you know, you go to kids' room.
44:43
It's like, oh, these are all boys stuff, all girl stuff.
44:45
So my parents would be like, all right here use this and use
44:47
that.
44:48
So my, yeah, my she never matched by the way.
44:50
So you got a cheetah print with a different pillow case, a case
44:55
you know, like a pillow and they're just like so random.
44:59
I think that's why now in my apartment like, I'm very O CD and
45:02
like this is how I want things to be because I don't want to go
45:04
back there again, like, you know.
45:05
Yeah, I got you.
45:07
Yeah.
45:07
But uh what was one of the craziest things you've done to skip
45:10
school?
45:10
Uh I think that I would just skip school.
45:13
I would just like, just leave.
45:14
I would just bounce.
45:15
I would go to the movies.
45:17
I remember a cop one time stopped us and then he was just like
45:19
shouldn't you be in school and this and that?
45:21
And I was just like, oh yeah, my school gets off early and then
45:23
he's just like, Oh, all right, cool.
45:25
We just drove off.
45:25
I remember we didn't, we just left.
45:27
I, I never skipped school as a little kid like that because
45:30
like, any excuse I give my mother like, oh, I don't, I don't
45:32
feel good today.
45:33
I think she's like, ok, you gonna come to work with me and I'm
45:36
like, oh, I don't want to go to work with you.
45:37
I'm gonna go back to school, dude.
45:38
I'd be that kid at school with the flu.
45:40
I just, I'm good.
45:41
I'm OK.
45:41
You wanna go see the nurse?
45:42
No, I don't, you don't call my mom, don't call my mom.
45:45
I'm OK.
45:46
Got you.
45:46
That was like third, right?
45:47
You go to work with me.
45:49
Yeah, I got you.
45:49
This will you be Yeah, I remember my dad would tell me like,
45:51
yeah, you wanna do this or how your life you want to do this?
45:53
I'm like I could, yeah, I could do.
45:54
Why are you doing it?
45:55
I mean you doing it trying to me talking about like you look
45:59
like you make it a great for yourself.
46:01
Yeah.
46:01
It's like, and for me it was like, what's the point of telling
46:03
them that I feel sick to stay in the house?
46:05
Now?
46:05
They expect me to be in the house the whole time.
46:07
It's boring there.
46:07
So I'm gonna just go act like I go to somebody else.
46:10
My mom let me stay at home.
46:12
Oh You learned to stay home and watch TV.
46:14
All.
46:14
No, no one thing I did do, I did finesse my way to go back into
46:18
school when I got suspended.
46:20
And, yeah.
46:20
Oh, yeah.
46:21
I finessed my teacher big time.
46:23
Uh, my, I got suspended and in high school they didn't reach
46:26
out to your parents to let you know, at, at, when you're a senior
46:29
they don't do that.
46:30
They're just like, you're just suspended.
46:31
So, my dad didn't know and I got dropped off and I'm like, wait
46:35
I'm not supposed to be here.
46:36
And the guy, the principal told me like, if I see you here, you're
46:39
gonna be expelled because you're suspended.
46:41
I'm supposed to be here.
46:42
So I'm like freaking out in the parking lot.
46:43
Like, what am I gonna do when I call the school?
46:46
And I acted like I was my dad and I told him like, hey, I wanna
46:49
talk, hey, I don't want, you know, I did that voice.
46:53
I don't understand why my son.
46:56
Yeah, exactly.
46:57
Dude, I would either.
46:58
My, I wanna talk to you.
46:59
So, what's your name?
47:00
Johnson?
47:00
Mr Johnson?
47:01
Why does my son have to stay home and waste time?
47:04
It doesn't make sense to me.
47:06
Ok, I was just repeating what my dad would say.
47:08
You know what I mean?
47:09
I've heard him say he should be in school.
47:16
That's a punishment.
47:16
You wanna scare my son?
47:18
Put him in class, give him homework, put him in front of a teacher
47:23
that's gonna scare him.
47:23
He's gonna be here in the house watching movies.
47:26
Having a good time.
47:27
We got internet.
47:28
He's gonna watch porn.
47:29
I don't know what he's gonna do.
47:30
Put him in that classroom.
47:32
That's torture car.
47:33
That's torture.
47:33
He's like, oh, you know what?
47:34
Uh sir, you're right.
47:35
Uh God, you're right.
47:37
You tell your son to come down, we want to talk to him.
47:39
Sorry about that.
47:39
I'm sorry.
47:40
OK.
47:40
OK.
47:40
I'm bringing him in 10 minutes.
47:42
OK?
47:42
In 10 minutes, I will be right there.
47:44
I show up acting like I don't know what happened.
47:45
Do what dude, it sucks, man.
47:47
Go play off, dude.
47:50
You and my teacher was like, oh so and so come here.
47:51
Oh yeah.
47:52
Oh we spoke to your father, by the way, very, very smart, intelligent
47:55
man.
47:55
He was, he was like, oh like we're gonna continue to school
47:58
you know, get, get back to it, get to class.
48:00
Come on, let's go and I'm just like, all right cool.
48:02
And I'm like, damn, did you ever get this?
48:05
I got, I got suspended a couple of times because I would cut
48:07
and like, yeah, I never understood the whole like OK.
48:10
Yeah.
48:10
Uh for cutting class we're gonna suspend you.
48:12
I'm like, I miss more school.
48:13
OK?
48:14
Yeah, that makes sense.
48:16
That makes sense.
48:17
Yeah, stay home.
48:17
I remember I got into a fight and um they called my parents and
48:21
they knew like I didn't start it or whatever.
48:23
But, like, they did the thing where it's like, oh, we have to
48:25
call both of your parents for this thing.
48:27
And so I, they're like, um, my aunt is talking to the lady and
48:31
she was like, what she's doing this, she's doing that and then
48:34
she put me on the phone and she was like, what happened?
48:35
I was like, they started with me.
48:36
She's like, you did a great job.
48:38
You did what you had to do.
48:39
So you did what you had to do.
48:41
And she was like, but you know what I, like, I told them that
48:44
you know, I was yelling at you and I was like, all right, thank
48:47
you.
48:49
I, yeah, I, I was scared but I met, if they didn't mess with me
48:53
I don't mess with them.
48:54
I remember, I remember, oh sorry.
48:55
Oh Sam.
48:57
I know.
48:58
I remember what the, the, the did make me go talk to like he's
49:00
like, go call your, he's like, I need you to uh call your father
49:03
right now.
49:04
And, and I wanna talk to him on the phone.
49:06
And I recently had a friend who dropped out because he had a
49:08
kid.
49:09
So he had like a normal job and everything and I knew his hours
49:12
and I knew he was home.
49:13
So I called him, I was like, hey, fool, hey, do you want me to
49:15
call my dad?
49:16
Just act like we were my dad, I give her the phone.
49:18
Here you go.
49:19
And he's just yelling at the lady saying, like, let me put him
49:23
on the phone.
49:23
I want to talk to him so that I'm on the phone.
49:25
And the lady, the teacher is staring at me and my friend is just
49:28
like, talking like my dad, like, I'm just laughing because
49:32
it's not my dad.
49:33
He's my best friend and I'm just trying not to laugh because
49:36
he said all these dumb things that my dad would say and I'm just
49:39
like literally trying not to cry like and the teachers looking
49:42
at me like that's right.
49:43
That's what you get.
49:43
Yeah, you can just hear it.
49:45
All right, we're gonna switch gears real quick.
49:46
Uh Next segment where our fans get to ask us questions via,
49:50
via voice mails or IG messages or emails or uh carry a bird pigeon
49:54
I don't know how they get it to us but they do.
49:56
This question is for Eric, this comes from Michael.
50:00
Hey, Eric, my kid is turning 11 and he's officially becoming
50:02
annoying.
50:03
He's not really cute about it anymore.
50:05
He's in sixth grade and just being the worst.
50:07
How do I make sure he doesn't embarrass my embarrass the family
50:10
name who I like that, embarrass the family.
50:14
What is he doing now now?
50:16
Like I thought at first it was just like just like annoying
50:19
like kids stuff like, yeah, I'm not touching you.
50:21
I'm not touching but embarrassing the name.
50:23
Like is he like, is he like exposing himself?
50:26
Like, what's he doing to embarrass the family name from people
50:35
No, they hit that age about like, because my kid is going through
50:38
now where like, you know, like he's cool and everything but
50:40
sometimes does get annoying and I be like, hey, hey, hey, you
50:43
know enough and he goes ok, dad, sorry, you act like your mama
50:46
you know, you gotta, you gotta check him a little bit like
50:50
hey, hey, stop that.
50:52
You're acting weird, like really weird.
50:55
You're acting weird.
50:55
I'm like, yo, you're acting weird, weird stuff, huh?
50:57
Yeah, because kids like kids got that energy sometimes and
51:00
they just be like, and you're like, what was that?
51:03
What are you doing?
51:03
Hey, uh we don't do that.
51:05
Yeah.
51:06
Yeah.
51:06
Yeah.
51:06
Did you ever pull the uh my growing up?
51:09
She had um she had some white, you know, white people think
51:13
she would do it with my cousins and she's like, honey, you're
51:15
being silly like instead of saying like you're being dumb
51:18
or like nah, you being white, white, white parents will hit
51:22
you with stuff where you just like, yo just tell your kid he
51:25
being an asshole.
51:26
Like like I've seen white parents, Billy, you're having some
51:30
big feelings right now.
51:31
No, he's being an asshole.
51:33
Just tell him stop, let's stop shooting.
51:35
I don't use silly.
51:36
I go, hey man, you're being weird.
51:37
Knock that off.
51:38
You don't know what that is.
51:40
Come on, hey, you do it.
51:41
Or the other question I ask him is like, hey, you do that in front
51:43
of your friends and he's like, listen, no, I'm like, so, you
51:47
know, so, you know, do you do that to your teacher?
51:50
So you, no, stop it, knock it off.
51:52
That's good.
51:54
As soon as I have an idea, I'm not a, I'm not a normal dad.
51:57
I'm a cool dad.
51:58
I don't do that.
51:59
You're silly right now.
52:00
You're being so silly.
52:04
He did.
52:04
Well, now he's a silly boy because I, I've seen those kids,
52:08
they like, they, they smack their mom like 10.
52:10
You're being silly.
52:12
Yo, he just smacked you in the face.
52:14
You need to knock that off that you grab him and be like, all
52:17
right, let's go to the car real quick.
52:18
My mom, if we be in public with my mom, like I wanna, oh come on
52:21
we're gonna go try something on, try something on, man.
52:24
I'm a whoop your ass in the dressing room or like another thing
52:27
that like, I mean, I don't have kids but I can't remember when
52:29
I was a kid when I uh I would like try to show off in front of people
52:33
and like, or I ask for things that I know I shouldn't be asking
52:36
for like candy or sweets and they telling me like you're gonna
52:38
eat later, don't do that.
52:40
But I take advantage and I'm like, oh can I get some cake?
52:42
Can I get this?
52:43
And they'll just look at me like this?
52:45
Nobody.
52:46
You don't have that look no more.
52:48
You want the parents?
52:51
They don't have the look.
52:52
My mom had the look.
52:53
I feel like I was that kid.
52:54
No, they do.
52:54
You look at me and I'm like, yeah, you got it.
52:57
You got it.
52:57
I knew the look my mom gave me the look.
52:59
I was like, I'm getting my ass whooped later.
53:00
Ok?
53:00
I'm like, ok, no, that's, that's when you get home and you do
53:03
you would be the best behaved kid.
53:04
I'm gonna go brush my teeth and get ready for bed like they're
53:07
thinking they forgot about the beating.
53:09
They like come here, I'm gonna go pray mom, I'm gonna go pray
53:12
right now.
53:12
Oh yeah, I remember I used to be like that kid.
53:16
I would just get excited too much and then I would just get in
53:18
trouble for being too excited.
53:19
They call it just like they would get mad that I was getting
53:24
excited like I'm being happy and they was like, yeah, my uncles
53:26
would come like at the surprises and I do a kick and I hit my dad
53:31
in the stomach.
53:33
God I just get yelled at and everybody's hugging and kissing
53:37
I'm just crying.
53:38
I was like I want them here.
53:41
You need, you need your dad to be like, hey, like no I don't even
53:46
want you here.
53:48
You need your dad to hit you with the head.
53:51
You being weird, you get off.
53:52
I was being weird.
53:53
I got too excited.
53:54
I get him with the karate kick, Michelangelo kick, you know
53:58
So, yeah.
53:58
All right.
53:59
And for Jesus, this song from Tanner.
54:02
Tanner.
54:03
Yeah.
54:03
I don't know how much I can help you with Tanner, but I just lost
54:06
$500 on the Lakers.
54:08
Are you a betting man?
54:09
If so, what's the most you've lost?
54:10
Let me tell you something, right?
54:12
I don't watch sports for the same reason.
54:14
I'm not a betting man.
54:15
All right.
54:15
That money right there, dude.
54:16
I'm, I'm, I'm, I would never listen.
54:19
Let me tell you a Tanner, right?
54:20
With your white plug ass.
54:22
Listen, this is white privilege right here.
54:23
You have $500 you can just spend to just give away and just lose
54:26
That's impossible.
54:27
I would never do that.
54:28
All right.
54:29
Put that money, put it back into you yourself.
54:31
All right.
54:31
Stop wasting it on a Laker game.
54:33
Ok, period.
54:34
Tired of this.
54:35
People betting on sports.
54:37
Why would you do that?
54:37
Just just buy some shoes.
54:39
Let me tell you something.
54:40
All right.
54:40
I, I was dating this guy who stole $80 for me.
54:43
That's the problem.
54:44
He stole, he stole $80 for me to bet, to bet on a game, right?
54:49
And I was just like, I was really mad because I'm like, yeah
54:53
he stole $80.
54:55
It was like, I think it was uh I don't know if it was basketball
54:58
or baseball.
54:59
I don't know.
55:00
But I remember like confronting him on that.
55:02
Like, yo you stole from me like this is crazy.
55:04
Like he's like you act like I cheated on you.
55:06
Yeah.
55:07
Yeah, you got on you.
55:09
I'm like, you stole $80 from me.
55:11
Like how am I supposed to trust you?
55:13
And then he was just like, but if I would have won, you wouldn't
55:15
have been tight.
55:16
And I'm like, but you're done it.
55:18
Fuck that.
55:20
I love, I love the way he saw it like you, you're mad at him for
55:23
stolen.
55:24
You, you're mad at him for stealing and he went to like a whole
55:27
but I didn't give you age and then when I was like, and as soon
55:32
as I broke it up, as soon as I broke it up, he said I should have
55:34
been fucking other bitches.
55:36
I make, I made my $500.
55:39
I would never, don't bet, don't gamble, don't bet.
55:44
Simple as that.
55:46
Right?
55:46
Mida.
55:47
Thanks for kicking it with us.
55:48
Uh Follow, subscribe like Sasha said, like, tell a friend
55:51
tell strangers do the whole thing.
55:52
If we get 100 comments on the youtube video Gene who's one of
55:55
our producers, he'll have to eat a Habanero.
55:58
Start the next episode.
56:00
Yeah.
56:00
Look at, look at his face.
56:02
He's like what I told me he was like, what, how am I part of this
56:07
But yes, if you comment, he will do it.
56:09
Hold on real quick.
56:09
What if we comment 100 times?
56:11
Does that count?
56:13
Let's get to 100 y'all.
56:14
Hey, that's it for the episode.
56:16
Thanks for tuning in.
56:17
Make sure to comment, share and tell your primo and about the
56:20
pod until next time.