00:00
It's still different, you know, I mean, it turns my uncles
00:02
felt he's a painter.
00:02
He felt from the latter like thousands of times, thousands
00:07
of times and I've seen him where it was like, oh, he ain't going
00:09
to get back up and he just, every time he like, he just, I know
00:15
when I saw him like the thing just slide.
00:18
I just hear a little voice going like, what's up?
00:31
Welcome to three Gs in the pod.
00:34
I'm Eric Rivera is a poet in the building.
00:37
So I'm like super excited because today I'm hungover guys
00:41
I'm not even gonna lie.
00:44
No, because you know, I get to hang out with you guys, you know
00:48
like a brave face right now.
00:51
Yeah, it's my brave face.
00:52
I'm getting older dude.
00:53
Like I'm getting older.
00:53
I can't hang like I used to, I really, I really can't, I'm the
00:57
same way I can't like there's certain days where I'm just like
00:59
it ain't gonna happen, dude.
01:01
I'm going back to bed trying to get like, no, I'm good.
01:05
I need advanced notice if we're gonna party like, hey, next
01:10
Uh, hey, tonight, hold on.
01:13
I've seen some of these parties though.
01:15
You're one of those where Eric, he gone, you know.
01:20
But it, it just started, I just saw him, he was like in and out
01:24
Matter of fact, he asked me to get him a drink.
01:28
That's a way of saying bye to people and then you just stuck
01:30
there with the drink like I got um Yeah.
01:33
No, for real, I just, I can't hang like I used to man, I gotta
01:36
wake up in the morning.
01:37
I gotta, that's crazy coming from you because I know you throw
01:40
parties and you always invite us to those parties.
01:42
I look at your stories and I go who I tired just watching this
01:45
Look, look, look, I throw these parties but it takes me a whole
01:49
week to prepare, you know what I'm saying?
01:50
Like a whole week like a whole month.
01:53
I mean yesterday I, you know I went out, you know, because it
01:57
Yeah, I got a little turn turn but um it was a special occasion
02:00
but I can't do that.
02:06
I wanna see, I wanna see how old you guys are.
02:08
Do you ever take a nap to prepare for the night is about to happen
02:13
If I take a nap, I'm waking up the next day.
02:17
Like what time 11 o'clock.
02:19
Alright I gotta take a 30 minute right here.
02:21
No, no no I you know I prepare, that's funny I prepare for meals
02:27
like if I'm going to get a spicy meal I take a little, you know
02:32
But if I'm having like a meal or something like that's going
02:35
to be spicy, I take something like a supplement or something
02:37
something to make myself feel better.
02:40
But like if I'm going to have steak or something, I got to drink
02:42
a lot of water because I know I'm not going to do like Brazilian
02:45
steakhouse or something, you know, I have coconut water.
02:47
I've done that before I go out.
02:48
I'm like a little coconut water.
02:49
Get the potassium and going give my muscle.
02:54
Yeah, man, there's like, you know, it's funny, like there's
02:56
little tricks like that.
02:57
My parents would do, like, you know, like the little teas,
03:00
you know what I mean?
03:01
Like, they'll, uh, they'll just do certain things and I'm
03:04
like, now I know why, now I know why you're doing it.
03:09
Let me tell you something.
03:11
If we got, if we got some, uh, listeners who feel just as old
03:15
as us, I'm gonna give you a little life hack right at night.
03:20
If you eat something spicy, you're eating like tacos or something
03:23
Like, if you go to sleep, eat apples, eat apples.
03:29
And then you'll wake up and you won't wake up with like acid
03:33
You just like eat an apple.
03:36
And then uh what, what else?
03:38
Uh Hold on, hold on.
03:39
Get them electrolytes, man.
03:43
Tea, tea like tea, something like that at night.
03:53
You know how everybody gets hung over and the next day like
03:55
I need Gatorade to get Gatorade dude PD light.
04:00
When I'm on the road, ladies and gentlemen, when I'm on the
04:03
road, please believe I got me a little PD light.
04:06
So when I get back from the electrolytes, right?
04:08
And, and that, but it, it always is uncomfortable when you're
04:13
buying it and like uh the CV and like, oh for the baby.
04:17
Uh Yeah, it is big baby right here.
04:19
I really regret this.
04:21
That's what I look like.
04:24
That's how I feel right now.
04:26
That, that is, that's me in the inside.
04:30
Like one of those, one of those infomercials like right now
04:34
I look like my grandpa.
04:39
I'm gonna look good when I look at that look the same.
04:48
I got the gold, the Gold G podcast.
04:55
Still talking about ratchet stuff at that age three mash GS
05:00
mash PS in a podcast like be doing and fortune telling right
05:08
now, I look like 20 cats and shit.
05:14
But I, I would look if I look like that when I get older, I'm gonna
05:19
be in the senior citizen home back in order.
05:24
I look like, oh dude, I look like I like, I'm in a wheelchair
05:28
You know what I mean?
05:29
I'm in a wheelchair.
05:32
I'm listening to tooth.
05:37
You know, I look like that old guy is still trying to hit on young
05:44
women like, hey, what's up, what's going on?
05:46
I still got, it looks like those like workout infomercials
05:49
for like old men like they still can do it like yeah, I like your
05:55
old ass is all and like get the fuck out of here man.
05:59
You, you look like the oracle in, in the matrix.
06:02
Like you're about to tell neo, he's the one, you know what?
06:06
But you know what I'll be knowing.
06:08
That's a, that's a fact but it's funny because I can only imagine
06:11
you that like that old and been telling that story that you
06:14
were saying like when you were like trying to pick up girls
06:16
they be like you too that make me a man, a man.
06:20
You make me a young man.
06:23
You're too old to have me, make me young man.
06:27
Give me some of that.
06:28
You let me give you baby.
06:33
And he saying that as he's pulling up his and his depends.
06:36
Like come here, come here I be feeling, you know what's funny
06:39
when I saw that picture?
06:40
Like that's exactly how my body feels.
06:42
So that's why I heard I'm like, oh I put the face of the body.
06:44
You guys, you guys do the thing like, like I'll go out for drinks
06:47
and stuff and I start like, all right, I gotta drink water.
06:49
I gotta drink a lot of water in between these three because
06:51
you gotta start doing the like the old person like I gotta take
06:54
care of my body man.
06:57
So I, so when I was 28 you didn't think about water?
06:59
I was allergic to water.
07:00
When I was 28 I was talking to this Cougar at a bar one time and
07:04
she was like telling me like you a trick, you want another trick
07:08
and I was like what you want another trick?
07:10
You gotta have a drink then water, then drink and then another
07:17
And I was like, all right cool whatever.
07:19
And then now I'm like at the bar going like you want another
07:29
Now these young kids are like, alright, well you know I I heard
07:33
that these young kids right now that they, first of all, they
07:35
don't really drink like that they're like they they got packets
07:41
and some of them, some of them be putting the the hydro powder
07:46
some of them with with their drink and their water.
07:48
So they're, like, super hydrated while they're inebriated
07:51
I'm like, I don't, y'all geniuses or y'all just getting older
07:55
Like, which one is it?
07:56
Like friends, friends, friends?
08:05
I actually seen, uh, some people do that and I'm like, nah,
08:08
man, I don't like heroin like that because they're like heroin
08:14
Get back, get back on your feet, get back on your feet.
08:19
There's a lot of, no, but there's a lot of times where I'm like
08:21
even when I'm not drinking, like, for example, when I broke
08:24
my foot, dude, like, if I was in my twenties, I would have just
08:28
got up, you know, I fell down the stairs.
08:31
I would have just got up without, without any breakage.
08:34
No, without any damage.
08:35
When you're in your thirties, you have to wake up, you have
08:37
to freaking exercise.
08:39
You got to do a little stretch in the morning.
08:44
Yeah, I fell and I broke my foot and that was one of the most painful
08:51
Yeah, it was really bad.
08:52
Like I never broke anything.
08:54
I fell down the stairs.
08:55
Recycling, that sounds like one person activity and tell
09:02
them this recycling real quick.
09:06
I know what you mean.
09:08
I was recycling real quick when you go out drinking and get
09:12
drunk, everyone's got that go to drunk meal like that.
09:15
They would go to like, I'd always end up at a diner and disco
09:19
I was like, I gotta, I gotta, so this right here disco fries
09:22
disco fries is with fries.
09:30
Like soak up all the alcohol.
09:42
Guys just get chili cheese fries version of chili cheese fries
09:49
But no, no, no, no, no.
09:51
That we're comparing two because meat to the east coast.
09:57
Like I was going to diner and Disco fries all the time.
10:01
This guy I was dating.
10:03
Well, I was, there was this guy that I was kind of going on a date
10:05
and um he picked me up from the airport and then I took him to
10:09
like this restaurant to have like disco fries and I was just
10:12
like eating that up.
10:13
He was eating it too, but he ended up throwing up.
10:17
I just from Long Beach, I think West Coast stomach indigestion
10:26
No, dude, disco fries was my go to drunk meal just like, don't
10:30
I think if I was on the west coast, I hit up like a taco truck or
10:33
But then we didn't have that out there.
10:34
So it was just you got a diner burger.
10:36
Disco is mcdonald's.
10:38
I mean, sorry, like it's just the burger and fries.
10:44
If I love myself, it depends.
10:48
I'm in a good night I'm going in and out.
10:51
I mean, you know, if I really want to treat myself but, you know
10:56
if I'm having like a crazy night when I, you know, I'm leaving
10:59
the club at three or four, it was one of them nights I'm going
11:04
I'm doing like, you know, like Jack in the Box.
11:08
I know I'm going dirty.
11:10
I get jalapeno poppers, which at this age is the worst thing
11:15
to eat at that because the, the, the, the acid comes back with
11:21
the jalapeno poppers.
11:22
Oh Just I wake up like I'm gonna confess something to y'all
11:26
I'm gonna confess something to y'all right now on this podcast
11:30
Never had Jack In the Box.
11:32
You look like you never had Jack In the Box.
11:33
You look like you have a lot of Jack In the Box.
11:35
You look like your name might be Jack In the Box in the Box.
11:42
I have dabbled in the box.
11:44
You made that sound like a bad thing.
11:45
You look like you never had, you look too like uh oh what is in
11:50
I don't think I want this gluten free.
11:51
Like because I'm in, I'm in California and he was like these
11:55
are fast food tacos.
11:55
I'm like, I'll just go get regular tacos.
11:58
Yeah, that is what I'm saying.
11:59
Your ass looks like you get organic tacos.
12:02
Like you don't get like regular man tacos.
12:04
You know what I mean?
12:04
In the streets out there?
12:05
You're going to Jack In the Box.
12:06
Those are not real tacos.
12:11
Does it look like I eat tacos at Jack In the Box?
12:14
Where do you get a Jack In the Box?
12:16
You know, I, I get the burgers, I get the meals.
12:17
I get the, the jalape o poppers.
12:19
I live my life that I live my life the day after.
12:24
Yeah, I feel like I feel like crap the day after is just really
12:27
like like right now I'm surviving guys.
12:31
I am pushing through life.
12:33
I want to be in bed in, in in in bed.
12:38
Just I'll tell you, I tell you the first version of Jack In the
12:42
Box that I used to do all the time with White Castle.
12:47
I never had a White Castle.
12:48
I I try to buy, you know, something is wrong.
12:51
When the burgers come in a case they give you a suitcase of burgers
12:54
They don't even give you like one.
12:55
Like you can't get one.
12:56
You gotta get like 20.
12:58
I I cannot, I cannot deal with that like the those burgers or
13:03
small little burger with the onions inside.
13:06
It just, it just feels like it tastes like garbage.
13:10
I don't, you hate yourself but like I'm telling you, everything
13:15
started declining for me when I became 28.
13:18
That's when I started being like, whoa, what the heck is this
13:21
Have a gray hair at 28.
13:24
I'm like, I couldn't, I can't be out as much now.
13:27
I have a to do list.
13:28
I have to look at my, to do list before I even start my day.
13:33
I got to look at my calendar.
13:34
Like I'm becoming my parents.
13:38
I'm becoming O CD, like, cleaning.
13:40
Like my friend was sleeping over, staying over and I just see
13:43
myself, like, picking up after them and I'm just kind of like
13:48
At 30 is when it hit me right at 30.
13:51
That's when I just, like, I caught myself at the, at the club
13:53
at the bar just going.
13:55
Yeah, it was one of those, you just, like, everyone's having
13:58
You're just like, yeah, he did, he did one of them, one of them
14:04
That's when you, that's when you do, like, man, how, how late
14:07
You think it's like 12 in the morning?
14:12
When people, when people are like, oh, let's hang out and be
14:15
like, all right, cool.
14:16
I'm like, at night 10 at night, like, you want to be why it's
14:20
too late and me, like, now I'm home early and then I'm watching
14:24
reruns of like, people.
14:28
What are they, like, killing the alligator watching that
14:30
It's like, Oh, that's, that's, that sounds like a great night
14:33
Sounds like a great night.
14:34
You just be like, damn people be living like this.
14:36
I pulled, I pulled an old man move the other day.
14:39
Like I remember as a kid, my, my, my, my uncles and my dad, they
14:42
would take me to movies and they would fall asleep in the movies
14:44
and I was like, how you fall asleep in the movie?
14:46
I took my kids this weekend to a movie.
14:48
They got that reclining chair.
14:50
I was like, all right, cool.
14:51
This is gonna be a good movie.
14:53
I woke up at the credits and my kid was like, it was, it was great
14:57
I was like, yeah, yeah.
14:57
But you know, yeah, you know what was even better?
15:01
The sleep, the sleep was amazing.
15:03
The two hour power now I paid $20 for that two hour.
15:08
I can tell like my life is so different.
15:11
I had a uh like acknowledge how different my life is.
15:14
Like when my girl was pregnant during the pregnancy, she lives
15:17
next to a fraternity legit, a fraternity, like, like, you
15:23
know that movie, the neighbor?
15:24
That's, yeah, that's what's going on in her house.
15:27
So like, it's so funny because she's pregnant and like, it
15:30
was in Halloween and our night ended at nine.
15:34
That was it because she was pregnant and I was like, cool.
15:36
And I was watching like horror movies.
15:37
And stuff and the windows open.
15:39
And I could see everybody getting ready.
15:41
They're all like, because it's already late.
15:43
It's starting, our night is ending, their night is starting
15:46
People are parking and stuff and my girl wakes up with a cramp
15:49
because they get cramps.
15:50
Like, can you massage me?
15:52
And, yeah, I massage her cramp.
15:54
She's, you know, the stomach, you know, she looked beautiful
15:58
but still it was, but I'm just like, I'm massaging and then
16:01
she's like, and then I look at the window and all these girls
16:05
in lingerie are walking to the and I'm just like, no way like
16:09
you know, like I'm legit just kind of and I'm looking like
16:13
oh my God, look what was going on over there and she's, she
16:16
takes a peek and she's like, that is disgusting.
16:20
That is who it's like cold.
16:22
Like why would they do that?
16:24
I don't know these girls and talking to our son, like, don't
16:27
ever date a girl like that or bring a girl home and like, you
16:29
don't you bring her home?
16:31
Give me, don't you bring it home?
16:33
Don't you give me a trouble out here in these streets?
16:35
So, you know, I was just like, when was just like looking around
16:37
and I was like, oh my God, look how different my life has changed
16:40
I'm still looking, I'm up to the car just looking like, wow
16:44
Doesn't that look like fun?
16:45
You know, the little beer pong ball went over the yard.
16:48
He's like, oh my God, the ball instead of watching TV.
16:56
I was like, how was the horror movie?
17:03
And look at their mixed drink and don't do that.
17:13
That's what was your go to drink when you go out drinking man
17:24
It was a blue drink.
17:25
I had a blue tongue and everything.
17:28
Hold on my Facebook picture.
17:30
I have a Facebook picture with my tongue out and it's like blue
17:33
because that's the hypnotic and audios.
17:36
Did you ever do that?
17:38
I never because oh my God, I was in that hood.
17:48
I just say the girl that had one time I was, I'm like triggered
17:52
with a because you know, I had a kick back and the people were
17:56
coming through and then I got robbed and the people that robbed
18:00
Yeah, I remember they were like, yo, we're like, I don't know
18:03
you know, a criminal drink and I was like, no, I don't know
18:05
that, but that is cool.
18:06
They got two girls with him and I should have known because
18:08
the girls showed up in a hoodie and I'm like, wait a minute.
18:14
So we got robbed and I was like, dude, we're not my xbox.
18:19
So like when I was in college, I was like vodka and cranberry
18:22
because that's what everyone was drinking.
18:24
Look like ac I, I grew up very.
18:31
Tell us give me some excitement.
18:40
Like give me something.
18:42
You know what I mean?
18:42
What's like the drink that messed you up that you were like
18:45
I'll never have this again.
18:46
Uh It was peppermint vodka.
18:48
We were doing I get your get your man out here talking about
18:54
I've never even heard of peppermint vod.
18:55
That was the most like uh peppermint vodka.
18:57
E can I tell you something?
19:01
I'm not even trying to, I just never heard of peppermint.
19:04
Has anybody heard of a peppermint vodka?
19:10
The most hipster guy in here.
19:11
He's just like a Christmas drink.
19:19
You read at a, at a corporate party?
19:23
It tasted like I had just swallowed toothpaste.
19:25
I was like never again, I'll tell you my drink that I would never
19:29
try again in my life.
19:31
Oh man, it was projectile vomiting for me.
19:36
Like I was just thinking of four local OG recipe of it.
19:45
What's the OG recipe?
19:47
There's a new one and then there's the old one was the one that
19:51
you can and it was it was over.
19:54
I had like a, uh, like energy drink and then poison and like
19:59
like, you, like, you know, just taking it back.
20:04
I, I woke up shaking, I woke up shaking when I had that for, like
20:09
I woke up shaking next to a, and I'm like, what's going on there
20:12
You come with it, you know?
20:17
She was like, dad, you got crazy last night.
20:20
No, I remember OK, so the first time that I ever blacked out
20:24
I think I was like 27 years old and I was in Bali, right?
20:27
And I don't I blacked out.
20:33
Yo I was drinking in Dubai and the flight is the flights are
20:41
expensive but once you get to Bali, no, but once you get to Bali
20:45
you like with $200 you're like dang like I'm king over here
20:48
like you could get anything.
20:49
But anyway, so I remember there was these like drinks called
20:54
So it's like vodka and then there's like this powder like this
20:57
energy powder that you put and then you just like that.
21:01
But no, it's like a actual like branded energy powder like
21:06
They would see honestly I think the locals made that stuff
21:12
up because I've never, I've never cocaine or Yeah, he wrote
21:23
you see it, it is right there.
21:32
So basically like that.
21:35
Yeah and the powder that was it that was a freaking drink that
21:39
you saw this packet of what looks like a bloody fist.
21:42
And you were like, yeah, put that in my drink and I was there
21:44
Kelly, that's, that's over there where it says up, you see
21:52
So you saw a bloody fist and you're like, yeah, put that in my
21:56
I was like, yo, if I was meant to die here.
22:01
So basically, I was browning out, like, I was browning out
22:05
and like, I remember so what I remembered was I was drinking
22:11
and then I got in the water and I was like experiencing water
22:14
and then I was like singing with a local and then I remember
22:17
just walking on the little mermaid.
22:19
That was, that's what I remembered.
22:22
I pictured Sasha with a drunk, ugly old dude and she's like
22:26
yeah, singing with a local and he's just like, so I was just
22:42
So I was there with the guy I was dating and so he was like, so
22:49
I remember like walking and then knocking out or whatever
22:52
And then when I woke up, I was like two o'clock in the morning
22:55
and I was like, I need food, I need food.
22:58
I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry.
22:59
And then he wakes up, he goes, buys the pizza, he comes back
23:02
and he was like, he's like, um, you're a lesbian when you're
23:06
And I'm like, why he was like he was making, I was making out
23:09
with this lady and I was like, I don't, I'm like, I'm like, I
23:13
remember making out with this lady but there's a video of the
23:15
lady like grabbing me making out with me.
23:17
I was like, oh my God, oh my God.
23:20
And then he was like, and then you're singing with the local
23:23
and you sound like a dying cat.
23:26
You're, you're hitting up a high pitch.
23:28
No, like your voice is so high pitched.
23:30
You have no business being that high pitch.
23:33
And then the song is like, love me.
23:36
So I'm thinking love me like I love me like, yes.
23:41
And then the same freaking dude, dude.
23:45
And then I was like in the water and I'm thinking like, oh I'm
23:48
just being like, and I'm like that I was yelling, you're gonna
23:50
let me drown you like he was like, but you're OK like it was a
23:55
I don't even remember like, I would never drink something
23:59
Well, no, it's funny because when you're on vacation, like
24:01
you will try new stuff like you saw that and you're like, oh
24:03
Do I remember we went to, we went on vacation, me and my wife
24:06
and they had this, these locals that they had a which is like
24:09
a root and they're doing it with their hands and they like,
24:11
put this thing in and they like, squeeze and they're like you
24:13
want to drink, I'm drinking out this dude's hand like, like
24:19
he's squeezing it in there.
24:20
Now when I travel, I don't do any other.
24:23
Like when you're on vacation you just like, you just go, yeah
24:28
Like dude, I remember my, my wife almost did a shark feat.
24:31
She goes, we can feed the sharks.
24:32
I'm like, who the hell are you?
24:35
You just give me on vacation now that you think sharks are friendly
24:38
Like no, we're not doing this.
24:39
It's like our, our our parents like how they would drink, remember
24:42
like they were just drink and then the next day this is like
24:44
my dad would just wake up and I'm like, dude, you were like drunk
24:49
I know crazy and they just cracking on I'm like, you're gonna
24:52
keep going like damn out, keep going.
24:57
So here's my question to, hey Zeus, what is your girls?
25:01
Every, every girl has a limit, dude.
25:03
Like when you're like, ah, she's had two, that's good.
25:06
And then at what point does she get crazy?
25:08
And she starts singing with locals?
25:09
I bet you have become, she's a, she's a wine drinker.
25:14
You gotta, you gotta do the math one time we did get drunk to
25:16
her like I could tell when she gets drunk because like she'll
25:18
start yelling but she thinks she's whispering in my ear.
25:22
But you know what I mean?
25:23
But she's just like, she was just like, and I'm like, oh, hey
25:28
hey, hey, you know what, your ear just like, there's something
25:30
inside your drum that's just like, I mean, it's just like loud
25:35
and she gets really, she just gets really loud.
25:38
Like, I'm honestly like, I didn't want to be a bit but, and it's
25:44
like, oh, I feel your girlfriend.
25:45
But what about I do this a lot when I'm drunk, I'm like, oh my
25:50
God, we're gonna, you know, when you get home don't even worry
25:53
about it because I'm, I'm like, I'm writing, I'm writing checks
26:09
You know how she's gonna be fights.
26:11
Hey, yeah, you remember, you remember two months ago?
26:16
How many did you have?
26:19
Oh I didn't see her.
26:21
It's like, and then this like weird limbo of like she might
26:26
trip or she might not like she might remember some old shit
26:30
that she might bring up.
26:31
That's the scariest her because then she's just like, yeah
26:34
and it was like, and I'm like, oh yeah, man, it was crazy like
26:38
oh especially that drink that you I ain't having a drink wrong
26:44
Babe, you did have that drink.
26:45
I have a dr oh my God, I didn't have a drink and then they do this
26:53
and breathing hard like, oh here we go.
26:58
Let's move to the room.
27:00
You're describing me.
27:02
My wife, my wife doesn't think she's having fun.
27:05
You see the smile and then if I look away, I do something, then
27:08
Yeah, I'm like, oh, damn.
27:15
Like, we're hanging out with my girl.
27:16
Like I had a little tripod, had a little tripod.
27:20
They don't carry me.
27:20
We had a show and then we just ended up having a good night because
27:22
her friends came over and we were just like having bar bar hopping
27:25
We're having a great night and then she just was getting like
27:29
that sloppy drunk like when we get to your house and I'm like
27:31
oh for sure, she kept grabbing me and then she went through
27:34
my leg and she felt the tripod.
27:36
She's like, no, that's the tripod.
27:41
Don't get excited because I'm gonna disappoint you thought
27:46
you thought you had two members because like the thing it was
27:51
like, you know, ok, she just like we're just going down and
27:54
he's like, and I'm like, bitch, that's the tripod stop.
28:01
I think that now the most adult thing about me is just kind of
28:05
like knowing when to check myself now like you like being in
28:09
that state of mind and you just like, wait, wait, I need to stop
28:11
Yeah, like yesterday I could have kept going but I was like
28:14
this is my fifth shot and I got to go to work tomorrow.
28:21
You got those crazy eyes.
28:22
You see those crazy eyes right there when they start just wandering
28:25
you're like, oh this girl, this girl, oh no, like it's oh God
28:34
you see that, that voice that you said that right now triggered
28:39
me because I feel like I would have to babysit you.
28:45
I have to do adult things.
28:47
So that's why like now I'll be checking myself and I got to wake
28:51
up and, you know, I'm very proud of myself.
28:53
I got here earlier than both of y'all.
28:57
And I checked off my to do list.
28:59
So I'm an adult, I'm becoming my parents.
29:02
You know what I mean?
29:02
Like, my parents will go out, they'd be drinking but they'll
29:05
come home and act like they didn't drink this the day before
29:09
And my parents and the thing about my parents too is like, my
29:12
parents go out like, they're like in their sixties and they
29:15
tell me about bars to go to like, they're like, they're really
29:18
like into drinking and like, wines and stuff like that.
29:21
They're not, not alcoholics.
29:24
My dad, my dad, my dad just like, he just knows beer.
29:28
Like there's no drinks or no, he knows whiskey, but it's like
29:31
it's not really like the fancy stuff.
29:34
Like it's funny too because my parents would always be like
29:37
uh you have to taste this and like, you know, you have to, you
29:39
have to savor the wine.
29:40
I'm like, I'm just trying to get to my destiny is lit.
29:44
All right, I'm not, I'm not trying to freaking taste this.
29:48
My wife likes to go wine tasting and she can, it's OK.
29:52
Oh I'm getting hints of, I'm like, let me be honest, this all
29:56
tastes the same trip out like my uncles like be drinking so
30:00
much and they're still calm and collective and like my friends
30:04
we drink like four beers and we're like, yeah, getting loud
30:08
And these guys are like, like, I'm like, dude, it's like 20
30:11
you drink 20 they're just chills like having a, they're like
30:16
you know what it says?
30:17
That's what they're doing.
30:18
They're drinking responsibly.
30:20
I mean, that's a means a means drink responsibly.
30:26
He was at his house, we were at a family party that's responsible
30:29
and no one's driving and they had 20 freaking beers.
30:32
Yeah, that's how you gotta do that.
30:34
That's how being an adult is.
30:36
I'm like, I'm learning, I feel like I'm becoming like, literally
30:38
I'm becoming my parents.
30:39
I'm at that age already.
30:43
Do you feel like you becoming your parents because you guys
30:45
you guys have kids now, I need supplements, you know, better
30:50
you know what I mean?
30:51
I need to just fix my problems.
30:54
You know, I'll say this though.
30:55
We're becoming our parents, but we're becoming a better version
30:57
of the fact that you're like, oh, supplements.
30:58
Like you never saw your dad take supplements.
31:00
Like I go, I do, I go to the doctor and get checked up.
31:03
I go to the dentist.
31:04
Like my parents, dude, I couldn't tell you the last time they
31:08
To them, it was like, no, I'm not.
31:09
My dad, my dad would actually tell me me, don't go because they
31:12
find things wrong with you and you're like, no, they did, uh
31:16
What are you talking about?
31:19
But, but it's true, like what you're saying, like our parents
31:21
would kind of be like, if you go to the doctor they're gonna
31:23
make something up so that you have to take stuff.
31:26
And my parents, my parents don't take anything.
31:29
They don't like taking absolutely no supplements.
31:32
No, nothing is like, you know what I'm saying?
31:35
Like, is like, or, or, you know, I, I remember one time when
31:42
my oldest was now 10, he was a baby.
31:44
He got sick and I told my mother, I was like, I'm gonna take him
31:48
They gave him these, they prescribed these medicines on the
31:51
feet and he put the socks on and I was like, yeah, what did you
31:56
think I was gonna do?
31:58
But I'm like, I'm like, if you read it, it's just right here
32:01
a little on the chest.
32:02
I was like, I wasn't gonna do on his feet, going through it.
32:05
Goes through the whole of our parents need to know more about
32:09
like the health culture, like the health because I remember
32:12
uh I had a cousin who got sick and they were like, shaking and
32:16
spazzing out and we didn't know what to do.
32:17
And they called the, like the hospital, I mean, we call the
32:20
you know, the doctor, they, they came in, the ambulance came
32:22
in whatever and then they were like telling us like, oh, yeah
32:24
Uh he had a seizure and we're like, oh, ok.
32:26
You know, it's a seizure but then I go in the room where the parents
32:29
are at and they're already making their assumption of what
32:32
they thought it was and they're already talking about and
32:35
they're talking to Mexico going like, and I'm just like, no
32:47
Potter, stupid medicine.
33:00
We're gonna take him to church and he's gonna feel better and
33:02
the medicine helped and we went to church and he's like, yeah
33:09
And I'm just like, no, I think it was the medicine they gave
33:11
him at the hospital.
33:12
Did you ever have a, an instance where you were sick or something
33:16
Happened to you and your parents were like, nah, that you're
33:18
fine and my appendix almost got a burst like it like it was about
33:24
And my dad was just like, he's ok and I'm just, I'm like, you
33:31
couldn't even bed like this.
33:32
And I remember looking at the sky, like going in and out, going
33:35
like, you know, I think I'm dying, like, and my dad, my dad
33:39
didn't have insurance.
33:40
So he's just like he wants to get sick.
33:45
Like it's my fault, it's my fault.
33:49
It's like the, the week said it cut off, he gets sick and then
33:54
we take her to the hospital and right away, it was so funny because
33:57
the doctor came in and was like, so we, we did the rays and uh
34:00
he has uh an appendicitis and my dad's like, of course, of course
34:08
And then, you know, he thinks it's what I ate because I had like
34:16
They gave me like, and I'm just like my body just, you know,
34:19
But he thinks it is what I ate because you keep eating garbage
34:23
That's why, how many times have I told you not to eat garbage
34:28
I'm like, you, I, I walked around, I was like 13, 12 or 13 with
34:34
a broken wrist for five days because my parents said I was broken
34:39
Like I was like, it was a dude, it was like swollen and I couldn't
34:43
And, and you're faking, I'm like, I'm like, look, I'm because
34:48
I, I felt like I was running and I slipped on some ice and I went
34:52
to catch myself and I was like, oh, I was like, oh, that hurt
34:54
and I came home, I was like mom, I think something wrong.
34:59
You think swelling up?
35:00
Like my parents are looking at you fine.
35:04
Like five days, dude, walking around with a broken wrist and
35:06
then finally went to the doctor.
35:07
The doctor does the x-rays and everything and it was like,
35:11
Yeah, you had a, a fracture shattered.
35:14
Like my aunt, she just got hit by a car and luckily enough for
35:20
her, you know, they did pray for her and stuff.
35:23
But luckily it wasn't like, so drastic because she got hit
35:27
by a car and then all that happened is like her, like, just got
35:33
you know, broken or whatever.
35:34
But everything else, she was fine but she didn't like taking
35:38
She's like, I'm like, yo, this lady is like, and like, you know
35:44
she has to do a whole bunch of like therapy but she can't do
35:49
her hair and I'm like, you know, I'm like, are you at least taking
35:53
the medication so I can help you with the pain so that you can
35:55
push yourself a little more.
35:56
She's like, no, I'm doing it just like this.
35:59
And I'm like girl, girl and there's something about our parents
36:02
that it's like, yo, they were strong too.
36:05
Like I remember my grandfather one time there was a uh somebody
36:08
was like cutting a tree because like in Dominican Republic
36:11
when I was living there when we were living uh there was a house
36:14
right next to us and they were like cutting down like this branch
36:18
and they're like, like move, move so you don't get and then
36:24
the branches just fell on him like like everything fell on
36:28
He just standing there like that and it was glasses, fell on
36:30
the floor and he was like scraped up and then he just picked
36:33
up his broken glasses and he put it on.
36:35
He was just like a strong, like that generation was built different
36:43
You know, it turns my uncles felt he's a painter.
36:45
He felt from like the latter like thousands of times, thousands
36:50
And I've seen him where I was like, oh, he ain't gonna get back
36:52
up and he just, every time like he just, I, when I saw him like
36:58
the thing just like, like I just hear a little voice going like
37:05
And I'm like in the roof going like, oh I'm about to see my uncle
37:14
That's what I'm saying.
37:15
Like that, that noise I just like, and, and I, I guarantee he
37:19
never went to a car, never went to go get anybody.
37:23
My man was just all crooked for no reason.
37:26
You know, you have, he had a little thing this, he had a little
37:30
little pill and his little, like, you know what I mean?
37:32
He opens it up and it was a baby.
37:34
It was a, that's all he would use.
37:35
He took a little, he just pops it in, drinks water.
37:40
It's funny you talk about Advil because there is, there's
37:43
something that like women, a lot of women do this where it's
37:46
like, if we're going to go out and we have heels on and we're
37:49
going to have like a great time, time, we're going to take an
37:52
a so that our feet don't hurt.
37:55
That way, you know, you could just have your heels on longer
37:57
and guys are going to admire us and they go dang yo, look at those
38:01
heels, I'm gonna tell you something.
38:04
I'm sorry, he hurt but I've never once been in the club and been
38:08
like, hey, your son, you checked out them heels.
38:11
God, you don't know.
38:14
You don't care that you never understood.
38:17
I never really know what that other girls shoes I never noticed
38:22
I never, I never notice that's what they say.
38:26
Like I've never cared.
38:28
You can wear flats, baby.
38:31
That's what you guys say, which is true.
38:33
You guys don't care.
38:34
But when your girl walks out and you go damn right and you're
38:38
like, you don't even know what the damn you're like, damn it
38:41
because she's wearing heels because it puts the outfit together
38:44
That's why it, it knocks the damn out of your chest.
38:47
You know, because if she comes out with sneakers, you're just
38:50
gonna be like, oh baby, you look good.
38:51
You be like, all right, cool.
38:52
But when she comes out with heels you go.
38:55
Damn, that's between you girls.
38:58
I think, I think you girls are like, oh, like she can go dang
39:01
the higher the heel is they like, oh then that girl can, she
39:05
You guys are complimenting each other.
39:06
We're like, yeah, so I, I don't, I don't care, it doesn't really
39:10
But also uh funny enough like because we do comedy and you,
39:14
you get out of clubs late and stuff.
39:15
You used to get to see girls coming out, they always holding
39:18
their hand just walking all dirty food in New York.
39:20
And I'm like, that's why you gotta Advil.
39:22
So you don't have to do that.
39:23
You don't have to say it man.
39:24
And then, and I think, you know what uh Advil definitely helps
39:27
for like like pain, like little stuff, big stuff.
39:30
You know what I mean?
39:31
There's different versions like we're, we're, we're changing
39:33
we're changing the game from like the generation.
39:36
Just, just live your life like this.
39:40
We need these little supplements to make ourselves feel better
39:43
You know, my go to when I'm on the road because I'm literally
39:46
traveling airplane to airplane, car to car and get those little
39:49
headaches, little migrants.
39:51
And I just pop in, in.
39:53
All right, it goes away.
39:56
I'm telling you now and I don't care how old people think I am
39:59
Two things I can't live without number one foam roller.
40:04
I roll out my back every day.
40:07
I'm carrying the kids.
40:07
I'm doing the stuff.
40:08
I'm traveling dude and Advil.
40:10
Dual action back paint bam.
40:14
My kids go piggy back ride.
40:15
I'm like, go ahead man.
40:18
So that's like so cute.
40:22
Yeah, that's so cute, man.
40:24
That's like that's like a, a commercial I tell you, I recommend
40:29
I recommend both of them every time like when a young like my
40:33
I'm like yo, foam roller.
40:34
It's a mad action back pain that OK.
40:38
I'm gonna write that one down.
40:39
I didn't know that one.
40:40
I'm gonna write that one down.
40:41
I'm gonna use it for next time.
40:42
Adville action pack, baby.
40:45
Like yo, how are you doing these shows back to back?
40:50
And your back is nice and limber.
40:51
And you're like, man, I went to the right now.
40:53
We're gonna see, we're gonna see Sasha had a red carpet event
40:55
with the heels like, oh what you wearing?
40:57
I'm wearing Advil dual action back pants.
40:59
I thank you very much.
41:02
It looks so healthy.
41:03
Ain't young like, yeah, when you like agile and stuff.
41:08
Oh, man, I tell you, I pop one of those after, like, when I'm
41:17
But, you know, and that's the thing.
41:19
It's like back pain, heart breaks, all that stuff you can.
41:26
What's the, what's the worst breakup you've ever gone through
41:28
Let me tell you something right now at this age, a breakup is
41:35
I'm glad you said that and I'm glad you brought that up.
41:38
He got, he got a kid.
41:39
Now if I were to break up, it's like the hurt that I will feel
41:44
now is hurt that stuff that I was feeling in my twenties and
41:49
in high school that wasn't a heartbreak.
41:52
I didn't lose anything.
41:53
Like this time I would get, I would have to get like I would have
41:56
to move out, find a new place and my kid have to share him to watch
42:00
him grow up with somebody else.
42:01
It's like the heartbreak that you gotta watch him be with some
42:06
other guy, he ain't dead and you just gotta be, you gotta be
42:09
an adult about it and be like, alright, well, but give us the
42:13
the worst because like, yeah, you look back at high school
42:17
and like 20 you're like, yeah, that was ridiculous.
42:19
Like if you want to go back.
42:21
Let me tell you something.
42:22
I know it don't look like it.
42:23
But I was, I love there.
42:28
I always had a girlfriend and, and since I was young, I always
42:32
been around, you know, girls, I just like, like, you know what
42:36
Like I went to tell when it comes to girls because he does his
42:43
Like, you know, it's funny because when I was saying I, I used
42:48
to bag, I used to get back and you'd be like, relax and now you're
42:50
like, look, I used to get on the we talking about bagging yo
42:55
because you know, when, when, when I was uh when I was in first
42:58
grade and like I remember everybody was, you go into the lunchroom
43:03
everybody was afraid to sit with the girls.
43:06
All the girls would sit and you, he was the one he was like, I
43:11
got a picture of me.
43:13
I'm holding this little girl's hand and I told my mom take a
43:16
I'm gonna marry her in kindergarten.
43:19
You have anything about marriage in the kindergarten?
43:22
Come on, I wasn't thinking about our marriage.
43:24
I mean, I would, I would talk to them.
43:26
I don't know, I wasn't even thinking about that.
43:28
Yeah, I mean, I, I'll, you know, I'll put you on the swing but
43:30
I see that's the most we gonna do.
43:33
But those, so that one, that's the thing like I was always like
43:36
you know, talking to girls but the one that like, hurt, I don't
43:40
know if it was my first love, but I really liked her and it was
43:45
like fifth grade and this is the first girl that ever made me
43:49
That I felt that like, look like the lip qui like the one that
43:54
that made me remember the name.
43:56
You can someone do something like this.
43:58
Yes, I know her name.
44:03
She's actually a model now.
44:07
Oh, her name is Sarah.
44:12
She, this girl, I don't know if I can use it, but I'm going to
44:16
Like, do you ever like look her up and be like, damn, no, we recently
44:19
found each other on Instagram and I was like, how you, how you
44:23
So what the national out there?
44:25
How do you spell it all?
44:28
And like uh uh that's her.
44:36
I'll even show you my, my kindergarten picture ebook and she's
44:39
right there right there.
44:43
She broke up with like another or something.
44:45
We just ii I liked her.
44:46
She didn't look like that.
44:47
By the way, when we, when I liked her, she uh so we were in fifth
44:54
So anyways, I looked at her and we were like, I made her laugh
44:56
and then one thing she said like, you're cute because I made
44:59
her laugh and I was like, oh, and I was like, I started looking
45:02
at her different and I was like, I like her too.
45:03
So I told her I like you.
45:05
And then I, I asked her out and she said, yeah, then one of my
45:10
friends, the backstabbing bastard, one of my friends told
45:13
my friend, like you, I'm going out with her and he's like, yeah
45:17
Like, because we were all afraid to ask her.
45:19
She was really pretty and then he's like, what did you do?
45:21
I was, I just asked her, he's like you did.
45:23
So that gave him the confidence to be like, man, I should just
45:25
go ask her, why did I ask her?
45:28
So yeah, he can do it.
45:29
I can she like this on you mother, you know.
45:32
So he was like kind of like the jockey popular kid too.
45:35
So I was like, I mean, she, she looked at me, he was like, well
45:37
he's the only one that asked me and I looked at him and he was
45:39
like, yeah, he's cute.
45:40
So I think that's what it was.
45:42
But then he, I I knew something.
45:45
I knew this is the thing because everybody has a moment where
45:47
they know they like each other.
45:49
You know what I mean?
45:49
You, you catch a moment, you glimpse you're not dumb, you know
45:53
So I was my dad picked me up, I'm going home and I saw them walking
45:58
home together and I was like, no, I remember I drove by and I
46:01
was, and I remember going like, you know, you had that moment
46:03
You're like, wait a minute, hold up how I just got done telling
46:07
him the way I did it.
46:09
So I'm like, nah, he would not, he wouldn't.
46:12
There's no way why would somebody do that evil?
46:16
That's too heartbreaking.
46:18
You know, I'm just like, you know, I would, that wouldn't happen
46:22
But the whole night I'm just like, I couldn't wait to go to school
46:25
because I, I had a gut feeling.
46:28
You just have a gut feeling.
46:29
And I just went to school and I knew something was up because
46:33
her friend was like, he says, can I talk to you real quick?
46:36
And then that's when I was like, oh, here we go.
46:39
She was, she, she sent somebody else to do it.
46:44
And I remember, I remember, I remember they told me and I remember
46:47
I was like, trying to act like I don't, I don't care good.
46:52
You know, you're starting to like the eyes are starting to
46:54
You're just like, oh, like I'm glad because I was going to tell
46:57
her actually that I don't even like her like that.
46:59
So it's all good and they were just happy to help her.
47:02
So she doesn't want you to hate her because she doesn't want
47:06
to date anyone that was her.
47:08
She doesn't, I don't wanna date anyone right now because she's
47:10
not allowed to date and I'm just like, ok, good.
47:12
I was gonna tell her that actually because I, I didn't wanna
47:15
be with her like it was like, I like her but it's like, oh, yeah
47:18
And then I saw them at lunch time holding hands and I said, but
47:23
I thought she didn't want to date anyone.
47:27
You know what I mean?
47:28
Like, you know what I told my, my, my friend like, hey dog, I
47:32
was like, dude, like what the fuck dude?
47:35
Like I told you, I liked her and he was just like, yeah, but I
47:38
told her too and I was like, hey, you know, she liked me.
47:42
And I was saying things like I remember I got mad and I remember
47:45
saying things like, like you cheated on me and the teacher
47:51
Let me just so you don't know what cheating is?
47:53
Stop yelling it out in the hallways.
47:55
I remember I would tell my friends like you cheated on me then
47:58
then and I was just like so salty about it.
48:04
That's a defamation of character right there because he's
48:06
like, she cheated on me, Rick going strong and you want to hold
48:09
her hand with Billy.
48:10
I swear to dude, I told her all the girls in school, I made them
48:16
I'd be like, because I told the sad story, girls are like, girls
48:22
are like, she's horrible and I was like, she is like, I like
48:27
her like putting a letter on this girl day card like you did
48:35
Oh my God, I just made her like, and she was just mad at the fact
48:38
that I made all her friends turn on her.
48:42
So you were like master like you mastered the way to have everybody
48:47
If I'm following, I'm taking everybody with me.
48:49
You know what I mean?
48:52
I'm gonna be my dad's like whoever was talking about, I feel
48:57
like I, I just, you coming with me.
49:00
But what is like the best way to break up with someone?
49:03
I mean like that's like the worst way to break up with someone
49:06
like sending your friend and be like, hey, I don't want to be
49:10
You did that, don't tell me you were that young, breaking up
49:13
Like first of all, I didn't even have, I didn't have that puppy
49:18
Like my puppy love was like when I was like 18 or whatever.
49:21
Yes, because they call me, you know, I was like, so then I remember
49:27
when I went to college, I remember when I went to college and
49:30
one of the kids I used to make fun of me, yo, I remember he said
49:33
one time he's like, I'd rather, I'd rather have sex with uh
49:37
Sasha than a clown, bro.
49:39
And I took that as a clown, a compliment.
49:40
I was like, oh my God, you better.
49:42
But I was like, ok, what are we talking about this stuff?
49:45
But anyway, so he saw me in college and he was like, how the heck
49:50
I was like, I was a kid.
49:54
Did he bring up the nickname?
49:56
Like you guys bumped into each other?
49:57
I mean, looking good, Michael B Jordan.
50:08
I did it, Michael B Jordan.
50:08
Remember I remember me.
50:11
He's like, oh, come on, we were kids.
50:13
You said you remember now?
50:17
That's what, remember?
50:22
The best way to break up is the worst.
50:24
So, all right, we're gonna take a quick break right now and
50:27
when we come back, we're going to have a special guest.
50:30
So is it, is it, is it, is it is it, is it coming up?
50:41
My first heart break he stole from me.
50:42
So that was my first.
50:47
When we get back, we'll talk about my first heartbreak in middle
50:50
I dated her for a week and then she broke up and she goes, I think
50:52
we're just growing apart.
50:53
I was like, it's been a week but in the middle school week is
50:57
like for a long time.
51:00
So let's wrap this up.
51:01
Thank you guys so much.
51:02
That is the episode for this week.
51:04
Uh Shout out again to Advil, our sponsor, a Back Pain Medicine
51:10
Thank you guys so much.
51:11
Uh Until next time you guys do all the things, guys hit the button
51:14
tell your friends and thank you.
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