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Getting Exiled with Joanna Hausmann

3G's
TV writer Joanna Hausmann praises Dominican comedy, Venezuelan dishes, and flexes her accent game.
Show transcript
00:00
I play uh uh uh uh I just wanna, I just wanna make sure, I don't
00:09
know.
00:10
I, I make the best play ever.
00:17
Hey, hey, what's going on?
00:18
Everybody?
00:18
I'm Eric Rivera.
00:19
I'm Sam and welcome to another episode of Three Gs in the Pod
00:24
We are super excited because we got a special guest with us
00:27
uh comedian, writer, actress, social media influencer
00:32
What do you mean?
00:32
It's, it's over.
00:33
If we love each other, why is it over?
00:39
Just not in a good state right now?
00:46
Are you, are you in New Jersey?
00:53
Yeah.
00:54
A good friend of ours.
00:55
Give it up for Joanna Houseman, everyone.
01:00
Yes, I'm very comfortable in this chair.
01:05
Um I would say a one for production quality on this podcast
01:10
Is it good enough to nap in or to work in um work?
01:14
I see myself writing a novel in this chair.
01:17
You know, it doesn't have the support for the neck for the,
01:20
for the napping, but definitely it keeps me a little bit on
01:22
my toes.
01:24
What would your novel be called if you titled it right now?
01:27
Um um 80% Blazers, 20% trauma, I think because I wear blazers
01:35
all the time and I'm traumatized.
01:37
I think that we all, we all have, this is what we do here.
01:42
I mean, people that wear blazers are definitely traumatized
01:45
If you wear a blazer, you know, I'm on a podcast without a blazer
01:50
on, I think I, I made, I made an effort today.
01:52
I'm like, I need to look more laid back.
01:56
Therapist is like she's working on it.
01:58
How did you know?
02:00
Well, that's what we like to do here.
02:01
We want to get our guests comfortable.
02:03
We want to make them feel like they're part of the podcast.
02:05
They're part of the crew.
02:06
Talk about the trauma trauma.
02:13
We're the three traumatized therapists.
02:15
So we are so ready.
02:16
I have a theory that every therapist has to be traumatized
02:20
Can you imagine having a therapist that has no trauma trauma
02:24
here is like, I've been beaten, she's been yelled at and he's
02:27
been too much loved.
02:28
You know what I mean?
02:30
That's been too much love, too much love.
02:35
And he's just like, I get like, hey, have a nice day.
02:40
I'm like, shut up, leave me alone.
02:44
He's so sweet.
02:45
But yeah, so I'm so glad to have you here.
02:47
We've been so excited to have you.
02:49
So we want to know more about you, right?
02:51
Like, how did your parents meet?
02:53
How did you even like, start from the beginning?
02:55
From the beginning?
02:56
From the very, very beginning, beginning?
02:58
Oh my God.
02:59
We got to go all the way back guys.
03:02
So my parents are both Venezuelan but Venezuelan under interesting
03:08
in different circumstances.
03:09
My dad is the son of Holocaust survivors that were like, oh
03:13
we want to go to Ellis Island and they were like Ellis Island
03:15
is closed.
03:15
Dog.
03:15
You gotta go, you gotta, I guess Venezuela will do not dog.
03:21
You gotta go to what's up?
03:25
Same thing we survivors and we're just trying to chill.
03:32
And then my mom's side of the family, my grandmother, you know
03:37
Cuban um had to escape Fidel's Cuba.
03:40
And my grandfather was a politician in Venezuela who was exiled
03:44
and they met in Cuba.
03:46
Um when my grandfather was exiled, my, my grandmother's father
03:50
had a hotel for exiled people from all over Latin America.
03:52
They met there, then they went to Venezuela once you know,
03:55
the dictator fell.
03:56
So, you know, very like dramatic backgrounds that for real
04:05
I'm pretty dumb.
04:06
So what's exile?
04:09
I'm like, yo, that sounds hot.
04:11
It's like when you say your opinion and they're like, get out
04:14
of the country.
04:17
I've been exiled all my life to third grade, fourth grade,
04:21
I get exiled every day at the house.
04:23
I was like, all right, I just exile me just for future reference
04:27
Joanna.
04:27
Next time you say a big word, we don't tell him what it means
04:30
We just like to see if he'll use it exile today.
04:34
Yeah.
04:34
Hell exile.
04:36
I count the amount of times you use that word in context.
04:39
He's got it.
04:40
I got to take it outside too.
04:42
Yeah, I take it when I get home like how was the fuck I was exiled
04:46
I'm so exiled right now.
04:48
I can't even thank you.
04:50
Oh my God.
04:52
Yeah.
04:52
So my family exile as fuck.
04:55
So my parents met uh working in the government as technocrats
04:59
like, you know, my, my dad was a minister.
05:03
My mom was, I don't know, they're like serious people and stuff
05:05
and they met there and then they were like, yo, let's, let's
05:09
have a baby.
05:09
You know what I mean?
05:10
And, but also study.
05:12
So I was so they, they got like scholarships and my dad got a
05:16
job in England.
05:17
So my mom was getting her phd.
05:19
My dad was like, I'll, I'll go and like teach and shit.
05:22
And then I was born there and to this day it's been the most complicating
05:26
factor of my identity because people are like, bro, you were
05:29
born in England, like what it was.
05:32
I thought you were born in England.
05:33
You know, this makes more sense in England than in Venezuela
05:36
But um it was a complete accident.
05:38
I'm not English.
05:39
I have no British blood.
05:40
I know nothing about England other than like textbook stuff
05:43
I tried, I tried watching the Crown.
05:45
I think I made three episodes and I was like, I'm good.
05:47
I'm good.
05:48
Yeah, I think that's pretty much all I got.
05:50
Absolutely.
05:53
Yes.
05:53
Absolutely.
05:55
Um, did you grow up there?
05:56
No, I was only there for like, maybe a year and a half.
05:59
I don't remember.
06:00
I didn't have consciousness really.
06:03
No, not really.
06:04
Um But as I move back to Venezuela at around, you know, two years
06:09
old and I'm going to drop this now.
06:11
And then I was there, I was there till I was six and then I went
06:15
to Washington DC.
06:16
I went to Boston and I went back to Venezuela um for high school
06:20
So, but I would change schools every two years of my life, every
06:24
two years of my life.
06:24
It was a different school, you know.
06:26
So wait, what, what, what the, the move to DC?
06:29
What was that about?
06:30
Because you said technocrats they went to school UK DC.
06:33
How do we get to DC?
06:34
My, my dad got a job at the um not the World Bank, the International
06:39
the IM DB.
06:40
I am.
06:40
Nope, that's not it.
06:42
IM DB is a website where you search for actors.
06:44
Um Something like that.
06:45
Sorry, I think her dad like Leonardo Dicaprio has uh catch
06:50
me if you can like you just doing everything and I'm just like
06:52
oh, this guy is like, does he look like he doesn't look like
06:56
Leo?
06:56
He looks like me with a beard.
06:58
So not like Leo, not like a sexy.
07:05
No, the I the International Development Bank.
07:07
I I figured it out.
07:09
Ok, so he was like, he had a real legit job there.
07:13
And my mom was like, yeah, we'll go and we'll spend like two
07:15
years there and then we'll go back to Venezuela.
07:17
But then like, Chavez, Chavez got into power with Chavez and
07:20
my parents were like, let's wait and see how this is going.
07:23
It works out because this feels like it might end up being a
07:26
dictatorship.
07:27
And they were right.
07:28
My thing too is like, I'm Dominican, right?
07:30
And I wear that.
07:33
Yeah, you didn't know that.
07:37
But you know, and I wear that as a badge of honor because I've
07:41
learned.
07:41
So I feel like there's a lot of things that the reason I am, the
07:44
way I am today is because of my roots and my Dominican roots
07:48
So I want to know like, what are the things that you are very
07:51
proud of being?
07:52
And then your Venezuelan roots?
07:55
You know, I have to say before I answer that I have a very good
07:58
friend who's Dominican and I my favorite genre on the internet
08:04
is Dominican.
08:05
It's just anything Dominican is immediately hilarious.
08:09
Like there's this video that I saw yesterday where there's
08:13
this guy that there was like a car is on fire and this guy is recording
08:17
it and he's like, I mean, the police officer, like, are you
08:27
an idiot?
08:28
Like, and, and when I said this to glo, she was like, this is
08:31
my culture and I'm like, dude, you guys are so funny and there's
08:34
just something inherent in, in, in certain cultures that
08:37
I think are funny.
08:38
Like, so, yeah, I think for me, my uh there, there's something
08:43
about Venezuelan culture that is like, no matter how bad something
08:49
gets like someone will laugh which is crazy.
08:54
Um And perhaps not helpful when there's like an economic disaster
08:59
occurring.
08:59
But there's this feeling of like, I guess we're all in this
09:03
shit together like they did this weird study.
09:07
Uh I think it was the New York Times where they looked at these
09:10
jokes that were popping up in popularity specifically around
09:13
like 2016 to 2018 in Venezuela, which was when the economy
09:17
was like, like in the butt hole.
09:20
Um And they were very similar jokes that as that as in eastern
09:25
Europe during the communist era, very similar, even like
09:30
the set up and punch lines.
09:31
Are you OK?
09:33
Let me tell you what happened.
09:35
You, you hit with two words.
09:36
He did not get in New York Times economic downfall.
09:39
But then you said Butthole.
09:40
He said, I know I can see the glaze look on his face.
09:50
He said I was looking, I'm like, how do I explain?
09:55
How do I explain like the food shortage, whatever I'm like
09:58
but like double, he's just wait to hear.
10:02
OK, let me get the key word today we're talking about, you know
10:09
what me out though is like growing up did you have to like, fight
10:13
with people and explain to them that you are Venezuela because
10:15
they wouldn't believe you.
10:16
They're just like to this day driving up here, bro, when I was
10:19
trying to park, I was like, what to the guy in the parking lot
10:22
I'm like, oh, they're like, you can park here.
10:25
I'm like, no, no, it's like, no, I speak English.
10:32
I'm going to Spanish dude.
10:34
It is, it is one of the most frustrating.
10:37
It's not OK.
10:39
It's not frustrating because it is what made me sort of start
10:42
making specifically Latino content was like, I want to, it's
10:46
I know looking at me and like I speak Spanish, it's inherently
10:49
hilarious.
10:50
So like, that's an easy joke.
10:51
Let me just start making comedy about how absurd my identity
10:55
is, is like Jewish, like ST looking woman who like speaks my
11:03
my family calls me, which is because I, my Spanish is so like
11:09
not pretty like I talk so Venezuelan, like I talk so crudely
11:19
in Spanish and let go and then I'll be like, well, actually
11:24
um as we were talking about the, the tax it so I can flip it.
11:29
So do you ever like, you know, you're kind of a spy?
11:32
Do you ever like always wanted to be a spy?
11:35
You can do it.
11:39
Have you ever been behind enemy lines and like hear what they
11:42
talk about you or they might say and they like, people were
11:47
like, Oh my God, these Latinos has happened to me a lot.
11:52
Um But it's that one, it's not as like gratifying because I'm
11:56
like, I get it.
11:56
I understand why I sound annoying.
11:58
I am allergic to sesame seeds.
11:59
So I have to return this bread and I know I know that I'm being
12:03
an annoying white girl right now, but I will die if I eat the
12:05
sandwich.
12:06
Um I get that and they like, they like, oh shit, you know, they're
12:11
like David Blaine, they saw David Blaine make a disappear
12:16
Yeah.
12:17
Yeah.
12:17
Stick around after this commercial break.
12:20
Like Latino sitting in the back of you guys on the plane are
12:23
just crying like they're sticking up for us and then the other
12:29
side is like, yeah, recently I was in a plane with these two
12:34
women that were celebrating one of their birthdays or whatever
12:36
and they were like, oh my God.
12:37
Yeah, that, that, that, that oh God, so many immigrants on
12:40
this plane.
12:41
And I was like, yeah, and I was like, that's not and they laughed
12:46
and I'm like, that's not funny.
12:48
And I was like shaking.
12:49
I was like, oh my God, I wanna stand up, I'm gonna stand up for
12:51
what's right?
12:51
But this is an eight hour flight and we have not left the tarmac
12:56
So I was like, that's not funny.
12:58
I'm an immigrant and I'm proud to say it and they're like, oh
13:01
yeah.
13:01
No.
13:02
Uh uh uh sorry.
13:02
And I'm like, and I think you guys don't know what America is
13:05
truly about.
13:06
Da fuck you.
13:08
And then I'm like, I should not have said the fuck you.
13:10
I should have left it there.
13:12
My arm rest too.
13:13
No, no.
13:16
It was the worst of my entire, I'm not exaggerating.
13:20
I have videos of it.
13:21
It was the worst turbulence of my life.
13:23
I thought I was gonna die on that plane next to these women,
13:25
these xenophobic women xenophobic and, and by the end because
13:29
I was like, I almost started crying and they comforted me and
13:33
I was like, I'm like, oh God, so point is I have been a spy and
13:37
if I ever go to jail, I don't know what gang I'd join.
13:41
You know, you can just be whatever you want to be.
13:44
But I know, I don't know, man.
13:50
You know what I mean?
13:50
Like I feel like there's ways I, I I'm like, this is what keeps
13:53
me up and I'm like, if I end up in jail for like tax fraud, not
13:56
because I commit tax fraud but because I'm bad at taxes.
13:59
Oh my God, what would I join?
14:01
I think about this shit.
14:02
That's so funny.
14:03
Like Latino sitting in the back of you guys in the plane are
14:06
just crying like they're sticking up for us, I think for us
14:13
But that's the thing is like, that's what people don't understand
14:15
that being Latino is such a spectrum.
14:17
You know what I'm saying?
14:18
It's just like there is the, the culture is what brings us together
14:20
the music, the food, the, the, the community that some thing
14:25
about community that we are able to experience and share that
14:28
every time I find out that someone's a Latino, whether they're
14:31
light skinned, whether they dark skin doesn't matter, they
14:35
understand it immediately.
14:36
But somebody who's like an American white person, they be
14:39
like, you guys stick together.
14:44
You guys don't like shit on each other.
14:46
I mean, except Chileans.
14:47
Sorry, Chile.
14:49
You guys are the weirdest.
14:50
I'm kidding.
14:50
Kidding.
14:51
Kidding.
14:55
I always make fun of Chileans.
14:56
I made a video, a joke video a few years ago where I was like,
15:01
sorry Chile and I apologize for all the Chile jokes I did over
15:03
the course of the year and the years.
15:05
Um and it in Chile and then I got, I got death threats because
15:11
people were like, why are you making fun of us?
15:12
And I'm like, bro, you call Santa Claus.
15:16
How are you not realize how funny you are?
15:20
The country looks like a witch's finger like you're inherently
15:23
hilarious.
15:24
Just embrace how funny Chile is.
15:26
And I just hope that they do because I see myself reflected
15:29
in Chile.
15:29
What a weird little country.
15:31
I'm a weird little girl, you know, so you identify with, identify
15:35
with Chile.
15:35
But I have, I identify with the weird person.
15:42
I have a question a question.
15:44
Everybody knows that the food is the gate to the soul.
15:49
We are real.
15:50
So what would be like, what would be your favorite Venezuelan
15:53
dish?
15:53
And can you cook it?
15:55
Um So, so the, which Colombians claim is theirs and it is fucking
16:02
nut.
16:06
It is not, it is absolutely not.
16:10
And by the way, the Colombian is this anorexic little flat
16:14
pancake and Colombia now is this curvy full of like masa sexy
16:23
little sandwich thing.
16:26
And my favorite, I want to know what it looks like.
16:33
And you know what can you Google?
16:35
My favorite one, which is, but for all the viewers that thought
16:43
she wasn't Latina, she just hit you with the which is, I think
16:50
it means queen.
16:52
You know, I have a question.
16:58
It's like they have the, the Yeah, I don't know.
17:11
I'm just saying, I'm just saying words now because I think
17:18
like, what the fuck, man?
17:21
You never heard.
17:25
That's why I feel so connected.
17:27
I was like, no, because Dominicans, Dominicans and Venezuelans
17:31
I don't know what it is.
17:32
We are the same, it's the same vibe, we vibe, we vibe.
17:36
So we honestly, you know what I miss the most about living in
17:39
New York, the Dominicans.
17:44
That's a a or as, as call it, you know what it, it look like a pan
17:54
taco, that's a dog breakfast that I miss in New York City when
18:02
you're coming out of the club at two o'clock in the morning
18:06
you go get a, that is it, it's like, it's like, I don't mean to
18:11
disrespect.
18:12
I would never have a, after the, for sure, 100% but I would never
18:22
go.
18:22
That wouldn't be my go to.
18:24
Why not?
18:25
You?
18:27
But you haven't, you haven't, I've ordered from that exact
18:33
place.
18:34
So I love that place.
18:36
That place is everything.
18:40
If you look in the window, that's Joan and right there right
18:43
there.
18:45
So I would say this, right?
18:46
When did you move to New York City?
18:48
2012?
18:51
And identity wise, how did you feel as soon as you move there
18:54
So I got there and I was like, I'm gonna die.
18:56
Um is the first thing and then I was like, oh my God, I feel so
19:02
at home here because no one is from here.
19:04
It's like it, it is, it is.
19:06
I, I went to high school in a um international school which
19:11
is like everyone was from basically from somewhere else or
19:13
at least live somewhere else and no one belonged anywhere
19:15
And I was like, I was like seeking that and I think that's what
19:18
New York is.
19:18
New York is just a bunch of people who are like, I don't know
19:21
man, I guess I'm here.
19:22
Yeah, but that's the thing in New York in New York, you don't
19:27
have to constantly be like, I'm from here, I'm from here, I'm
19:29
from here from people just see you and they take you as face
19:32
value and be like, oh you're just cool and like, I vibe with
19:35
you and I want to be around you and that's how it is here.
19:37
It is like you have to constantly explain from, yeah, I mean
19:42
like the only people that literally ask you are like the girls
19:44
that moved to New York like six months ago and they're living
19:46
in the lower east side and they're definitely like, yeah,
19:49
I like literally like I am from New York and it's like, you literally
19:51
just actually you can't say that for one of these look like
20:10
she fight white boys too, you know what I mean?
20:14
No, you know what it is.
20:15
It's funny because when I first moved out here, I guess the
20:20
New York is so aggressive.
20:21
Yo, the New York is, it's so aggressive that it's kind of like
20:25
I chilled out a lot.
20:27
But um I feel like it cost me work out here because in Hollywood
20:31
you kind of have to be like, you know, politically correct
20:34
and stuff like that.
20:35
But I think one of the things that there was one time I went to
20:38
this Hollywood party or whatever and it was these executives
20:42
talking about like, oh, you know, we need a black representation
20:47
you know, like we need more Afro Latinas on the screen.
20:50
And I literally was in front of a lot of people in Hollywood
20:53
and I was like, y'all be talking that shit.
20:55
But we right here and everybody was like, oh my goodness, oh
20:59
my goodness.
20:59
I just, that's what happens when they give out free alcohol
21:02
These things they gave me the wrong people.
21:06
Like what you gonna do that?
21:10
I took my dad took my dad to this NBC thing and had free alcohol
21:14
and he started drinking and after a while he just like they
21:17
were talking about like, oh these are producers, you know
21:19
you guys have to make funny movies, man.
21:21
You guys don't make funny movies, you gotta put, they're just
21:26
like, uh who is this Mexican, man?
21:29
You know what I mean?
21:30
The guy just come in here and start drinking.
21:33
So, yeah, but I think that's why a lot of, you know, people in
21:35
Hollywood are like, I don't know about this one, you know,
21:38
but it's like it is what it is but I mean, I toned down a lot but
21:42
there is something about like just being direct and all that
21:45
stuff that like people can't handle and they think that you're
21:48
being, you're being mean.
21:50
But I think as a New Yorker and someone, you know, you've lived
21:54
there for how many years now?
21:55
I was 11 when I left, right.
21:57
So that's enough time for you to be like, get to the point.
22:00
I want to get to the point like it's not, I don't want to fluff
22:03
everything like we're working together, we're not working
22:04
together.
22:05
We're doing this and we're not doing this because here in L
22:06
A they be like, oh my God, you were great.
22:09
We love you.
22:10
I love you so, so much like there was one time some girl at a party
22:14
was like, oh my God, we need to hang out and then she walked away
22:17
and I'm like, how am I gonna call you?
22:20
I'm about to call you like you hung out with people and they
22:23
started talking about, oh, we go to the game.
22:25
You, you should go go to the game.
22:27
Yeah.
22:27
And then they leave and I'm like, how am I gonna go to the game
22:29
Because you just like they places without giving you any info
22:35
I like the land of everyone loving you and then you're at home
22:37
waiting on a phone ringing.
22:38
Like I think they love me.
22:41
That's how you create your own love out here that ghost people
22:45
man is the of ghost and people so real quick.
22:49
You moved to a, how was that?
22:53
How was it?
22:53
How was that experience here?
22:55
Two months ago?
22:56
Yeah.
22:56
Um It's been a, you know, it's different.
22:59
Um take a, take a while before you love it.
23:02
I have a, I have a quick story that exactly the like change.
23:10
Ok.
23:10
Between the two, this guy almost ran me over when I was crossing
23:14
the street.
23:14
It was, I had, I had the light and he almost ran me over and I was
23:20
like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
23:21
You almost ran me over and then he started to me and I started
23:27
escalating it for no reason.
23:29
I could just walk away.
23:30
And I was like, and then I walked away.
23:32
I was like, I don't know why I did that.
23:33
And then the guy was like, yo, are you from New York?
23:34
And I was like, no, but I lived there for 10 years and he's like
23:37
I'm from New York.
23:37
It was nice to see that.
23:38
That was so nice here.
23:40
But that's the thing.
23:41
If you've been in New York for like 11 years, you are a New Yorker
23:45
like you become a New Yorker.
23:47
And yes, you do because, yeah, if you already know, if you already
23:54
know where uptown downtown, you know where the Bronx is.
23:58
Have you already been in the city for 11 years?
24:00
Because it only really takes you like one, like a year to know
24:04
is everything you've been lost.
24:06
You ever going to make it?
24:08
Your story was funny.
24:09
But that's the thing about like, if you've been in New York
24:13
and you have dealt with how straightforward people are and
24:16
people think it's rude but it's not, it's just like it really
24:18
you cut the fat and everything.
24:20
One of the things that we know you for is the breakdown of accents
24:27
right?
24:28
And you hit, you hit us, you know.
24:33
Yeah.
24:33
Like, how did you become so influenced by like learning so
24:38
much about so many different accents, so many different,
24:40
like moving around so much.
24:41
I always had friends that spoke differently than me and I wanted
24:44
to go blend in.
24:45
And I think one of the reasons I have such a clean accent in English
24:48
was because right when I landed, I was like, and I was like,
24:52
no, I'm not gonna, I gotta learn how to, I got to learn how to
24:55
speak different.
24:55
So I've always heard accents and my grandparents like, do
25:00
you know what my grandfather is, a German Jew who speaks Spanish
25:08
I've never heard that.
25:09
So I just, I just heard accents my whole life and I loved imitating
25:13
them and then I just started learning how to do them.
25:26
Yeah, like every like soccer coach I've ever met.
25:32
Yeah.
25:33
Trying to teach you how to play like messi and stuff.
25:43
And I just, I think accents are like a Mara.
26:04
Mara.
26:05
Hi.
26:06
I like, I like the Colombian.
26:12
I'm married to a Colombian.
26:13
I had to say Colombian.
26:14
You know what I mean?
26:17
He's like, he doesn't have, he's from so he has this like weird
26:23
accent.
26:23
I cannot replicate.
26:25
Y'all know what the fuck going on, man.
26:26
It's your boy out here doing this thing.
26:29
Uh Make sure you stay tuned and check out after these commercial
26:31
breaks.
26:32
I stay tuned and going nowhere.
26:34
What the crazy shit do for freedom and shit.
26:37
You crack that motherfucker it's called, imagine, imagine
26:42
what you'll do for fucking family shit.
26:45
Joanna, let's lighten things up.
26:47
Tell us what you're working on right now because I know you
26:49
you, you were writing on a show, writing on a, writing on an
26:52
animated show currently, you know.
26:55
Um you know, I love that.
26:56
I moved to L A right when the entire city has stopped.
27:01
You know, I, I grew, I grew up in Caracas.
27:03
I like in, like, my teenagers in Caracas in the midst of like
27:05
the protests and I have like PTSD, I like driving like, you
27:09
know, the honky on the horns and the people with the signs.
27:11
Like, and I'm like, bro, where am I?
27:13
Like, L A is such an entertainment town that this, er, this
27:17
um strike feels like it's taken over the entire city.
27:22
But anyway, um, but not as bad as, as back home because here
27:26
I think, I believe imagine Dragons was playing an acoustic
27:28
concert outside of Netflix.
27:29
Yeah, we got free food.
27:30
Yeah, we got these gluten, free muffins.
27:32
I'm like, and, and it's like, so organized, like there's like
27:36
a schedule and there's shirts you have to wear and it's 24 hours
27:40
I went to the protest and network.
27:41
I'm like, yo, what's going on?
27:42
I'm just trying to get a, get a going and they're just like,
27:48
I'm like, because I got the screen play, let me tell you my head
27:52
shot.
27:53
This guy that came from the border and he's a typical Latino
27:56
He came for the border.
27:57
He's adapted to this new world.
27:59
And he like, he like, he like Star Wars but like I need time.
28:06
Well, you know, I, I used to go to a protest in Venezuela, want
28:09
to, you know, fight for freedom, but also like to see the hot
28:12
boys when I was 16 and then my baby, oh my God, he's got protest
28:20
abs.
28:22
So do you like to fight for your free?
28:25
It's a good filter for people.
28:26
You know what I mean?
28:27
Like, you know, it's crazy to meet somebody at a freaking protest
28:31
At least you know about it.
28:32
Like if you got to go to war, you go to war with them.
28:35
You know, like I got you, you got me what the crazy shit do for
28:39
freedom and shit, you crack that motherfucker what you'll
28:46
do for fucking family and shit.
28:51
Look, I bet you fucking will stick up for me and shit.
28:56
I want to follow them forever.
28:59
I want them to be real dude in my mind just gives up protest like
29:05
yeah.
29:05
Yeah.
29:06
You know, I mean, I get exiled whatever.
29:15
A fucking coffee or something.
29:17
Yeah.
29:17
When we do what you want to get out to, I love your voice.
29:23
I never out your ass.
29:24
You shut up.
29:28
Yeah, but it's real like man, everything, it does feel like
29:31
everything has stopped and it's true like when I protested
29:34
There was so many people showing support, you know, and I don't
29:39
know, I know a lot of, a lot of it has got to do with wages and stuff
29:42
But I think the biggest thing that keeps popping up that I think
29:45
it scares the whole A I chat G BT thing.
29:47
Like they're saying, like this is gonna be the future.
29:50
Like we don't need a, we don't need II, I don't know, man, I have
29:56
a, I don't, maybe I'm naive.
29:59
I think I'm naive and too optimistic.
30:01
I've, I've like tried out chat GP t it scares the living shit
30:05
out of me for many reasons.
30:07
But I think something like writing a comedic script or like
30:12
a drama about a human point of view, it's just like it's a fucking
30:16
robot.
30:16
Like, have you, have you read check?
30:19
It's so are you, are you dumb?
30:22
Do you know YG BT?
30:27
Write me something and use the word egg out like the economist
30:31
G BT.
30:31
Make it funny.
30:33
And it's just like, it's so basic.
30:34
I'm like, bro, this is a robot wrote this like, you know, it's
30:37
so funny.
30:37
Does that human touch?
30:38
Did you guys see that Tweet?
30:40
Where, where they asked Chad G BT?
30:43
Um What job would be easier to replace with A I uh writer or CEO
30:51
And the fucking machine was like CEO because being CEO is like
30:55
making decisions based on like a lot of data points and understanding
31:00
the market and that's just something that, that like I is really
31:03
good at, but writing is something that, you know, isn't as
31:06
good at, like, you know, it's getting data points.
31:08
So if, if we're going to replace anything, maybe it's the CEO
31:12
s with a, with A I CEO, the CEO of like, shut that bitch up also
31:26
Like I know this is a dumb question.
31:27
But is it Chad T BT or is it chat?
31:31
Chat?
31:33
I thought it was, I thought it was Chad.
31:36
And then right now when you said it, you said chat, I'm like
31:38
I wish you, I wish you would have Chad and let him do it.
31:45
No, no, let him go with Chad.
31:46
Please.
31:47
I want him at a party.
31:51
I was like, yo, I'm gonna be at one of these, I gotta get the fuck
31:56
out of here out of Hollywood.
31:59
But talking about that even like you, you know, you brought
32:01
something up that's very, very, very, very important like
32:04
CEO S they do make um these executive decisions where and,
32:11
and based on data.
32:13
But when it comes to the arts, when it comes to writing, when
32:18
it comes to creating, right?
32:19
You never really know what's gonna hit because it's always
32:22
something that is relatable to what people are going through
32:25
at the moment that you cannot, you can't be analytical about
32:30
it.
32:30
There's no way to be analytical when you think about every
32:33
hit show, every hit show is not like any other hit show.
32:37
You know what I'm saying?
32:38
Or like, even like every hit song is not like every other hit
32:42
song, like, like a is not like, I'm sorry, you know, it's so
32:47
different.
32:48
It's just, you can't be analytical about it.
32:50
And so you have these CEO S that are sitting up top, collecting
32:53
all these money.
32:54
I'm not talking about anybody.
32:55
Me too.
32:56
But the ones that make $238 million a year to like, you know
33:01
what I'm saying?
33:02
Um Cutting off shows and stuff, they are making these decisions
33:07
and I don't think they really care about um the arts.
33:11
Obviously, they're just thinking about increasing their
33:14
their profits.
33:15
And it's just like you're treating something that is supposed
33:18
to be uh communal and bringing people together as like a retail
33:23
or something, which is not, is not gonna work.
33:26
And then that's why now if they go through like, you know, they
33:29
go the analytical route and they keep going that way, they
33:33
keep missing because it's like you're trying to, you're trying
33:37
to replicate something that at once worked, but people keep
33:40
evolving and that's why art keeps evolving.
33:43
You cannot have a computer, tell you what, what's next.
33:47
But that's the thing is, and this is why I'm trying to say is
33:50
like, if it, if there's going to start in the writers' room
33:52
and get away with it, it's going to go elsewhere.
33:55
So you already see it with like certain like acting gigs or
33:58
certain things like people are getting cut and they're trying
34:02
to figure out ways to make more money.
34:04
But when it comes to the arts, you got to let it be.
34:07
If you want to secure the bag, you got to secure the culture
34:11
That's how you got to do it.
34:12
If you just, if you're just trying to get that check, then forget
34:16
about it.
34:19
New York in here.
34:22
Do you guys remember when Discovery acquired HBO?
34:26
And then all these like this movie that was done, they like
34:30
they were like, no, we get a, you, you know what I want to do,
34:39
bro?
34:40
Like once I make millions and millions and millions of dollars
34:43
dollars, I'm going to buy Max now because it's not HBO anymore
34:46
I'm gonna buy Max Dominican.
34:50
That's it.
34:51
They do show Max and I'm gonna call it El Maximo.
35:05
Every, every food will have its own show.
35:08
People will get paid shit.
35:11
Oh Guys, I love keeping the energy going.
35:14
We're gonna, we're gonna change courses to a segment that
35:16
I like to call the Silver Tooth kit of the week.
35:20
And you know what, you know, a silver tooth kid of the week is
35:22
right.
35:22
You know what?
35:22
You know, I, I think that we're equal because I didn't know
35:27
what, you didn't know what Exile was.
35:29
The New York Times.
35:30
And now I have no idea what the fuck you're saying.
35:33
My princess, I'll tell you right now.
35:36
Uh Summer too.
35:37
Kid is one of those like bad kids in the playground that you
35:40
know, they, they, they, their teeth, they can't even take
35:45
care of their teeth.
35:46
They messed up.
35:46
They're just wild boys.
35:47
You know what I'm saying?
35:48
And we have clips of wild, wild kids.
35:52
Uh and we're gonna watch a video right now, so I love kid content
35:57
Oh, yeah.
35:57
Well, let's see how this goes.
36:00
I'll tell you what normal birthday party.
36:06
That's not as happy.
36:10
Yeah, it be.
36:15
Hm.
36:16
Right.
36:20
He's not waiting.
36:21
He don't care.
36:22
He's impatient.
36:25
Oh, that talking about, he said, look at the, look at the, I'm
36:31
I'm about to whoop his ass.
36:32
I'm about to kill him right now for everybody.
36:36
He did that because he wanted to eat the cake.
36:41
First of all, his dad is already losing hair.
36:46
Look at, look at this kid right here.
36:54
All right.
36:54
Hang tight.
36:55
We'll be right back after this commercial break.
36:57
I'm a therapist and I just feel like me and you like it's kind
37:00
of the same thing, right?
37:02
Because it's kind of like you get into people's minds, but
37:04
I feel like you do it with a larger crowd.
37:06
I just do it individually and I was like you should get fired
37:09
This kid is either going to, you know, be in prison or with that
37:16
attitude in either way.
37:18
Yeah, because he just doesn't give a fuck.
37:20
He's gonna go to like eight divorces.
37:22
I don't like his wife.
37:24
You're just gonna be throwing her control.
37:30
He said fuck your cake.
37:36
And that kid is like this is my cake.
37:38
You want it now that little kid is both his parents look like
37:45
yeah, we he looked at he was just like yeah like you can't swallow
37:50
Yeah.
37:50
When he gets pulled over him, when he gets pulled over, he's
37:55
gonna be like license registration.
37:57
No, I don't want to, I don't want to take me to Oh my God.
38:04
I both love and fear him, you know.
38:07
Oh my goodness.
38:10
You know what pissed me off.
38:11
I love cake and I feel like cake is so sacred like it's a sacred
38:15
piece of, of dessert because you're celebrating somebody's
38:20
life.
38:20
Ok?
38:20
Yeah, you can eat cake any time of the day, any time of the year
38:23
but it's a birthday you celebrating and you're going to destroy
38:26
that.
38:28
I, I don't want to go too much off the subject.
38:30
But are you cake or cupcake cake?
38:34
Cake?
38:35
You look like a cupcake guy but I don't really like either.
38:40
What?
38:41
Oh my God.
38:50
Uh I just wanna make sure I make the best play ever.
39:04
I got, I got the dry aged cheddar.
39:07
Come on.
39:09
Yeah, that's right.
39:21
I'm a cook kind of guy.
39:22
Anyway.
39:22
Move on.
39:23
Well, we like to help people here and so we got a segment here
39:25
called where we have voice mails, IgD MS, emails from our viewers
39:30
and we try to help them out as best as we can.
39:32
I'm glad you're here because you hit him with the big words
39:35
Uh So like the five letter word exile.
39:39
So, uh what do we got today?
39:42
All right.
39:43
This is another one for advice.
39:44
Open up your hearts team.
39:47
Hey, jeez, I just moved to L A.
39:51
My roommate is a comedian and I know for a fact that I'm funnier
39:55
than them.
39:57
What should I do in comedy to prove my point.
39:59
Tiktok dances, Instagram rants.
40:02
I don't really have the confidence to get on stage yet, but
40:04
I know I can get there with practice.
40:06
What's the best approach to my situation?
40:08
Let me stop talking and do I have you?
40:15
I wasn't my boyfriend who wrote that.
40:17
That person who wrote that is a white guy called Connor fucking
40:23
Connor.
40:24
It was like, I'm fucking hilarious, man.
40:27
You know, when I'm like, you know, when I, when I was in the basement
40:30
my friend, man, all the fucking dude left how much you want
40:33
But this guy is not funny.
40:34
That's the dude that comes up to you after the show like, hey
40:36
listen, listen, you can, you can use this for your skits ready
40:40
story.
40:41
Feel free to use it and then tells you a story that he's the only
40:44
laughing at and you're just like, why are you, what's going
40:46
on.
40:48
OK.
40:48
We have to help this person though, right?
40:51
You have to help him.
40:52
Sorry, Connor.
40:54
Um How um how should they?
40:58
I just feel like first of all, why you, why you shitting on somebody
41:01
You know why I didn't like the way you started it the way you
41:06
started it didn't run me the right way.
41:09
I'm triggered because people talk like that about me all the
41:11
time.
41:11
So I'm triggered.
41:13
Watch your mouth.
41:14
You know what I mean?
41:15
Remind me of my father and you're answering your own question
41:18
I, I don't, I don't have the confidence to get on stage.
41:22
That's like you never be funny.
41:23
You don't have the confidence.
41:26
But if I practice so I love his first point, that guy should
41:32
I should, I do like a Tik Tok dance to show like first of all
41:34
no, no, you don't prove someone.
41:37
They're funnier than them with a Tik Tok dance.
41:39
OK?
41:40
No, you write some jokes and you take your asset open mic and
41:43
you fucking go through in an Uber.
41:47
And I say I'm a comedian and the guy driving is like, oh, I'm
41:49
pretty funny and they proceed to say the worst racist jokes
41:55
I've ever heard in my life.
41:57
And then you're like, this must be a joke in and of itself.
42:00
Like the fact that you said you were funny and then they are
42:03
convinced that they are my friends tell me hilarious.
42:07
They try to they try to find it but they don't remember it.
42:09
They're just like, oh hold on, you're gonna, and it's like
42:14
dude, you're searching for.
42:16
So um hold on, there's this fucking joke, dude.
42:19
Fucking, yeah.
42:20
So we're going to two guys in the bar and then shit, what is it
42:24
that joke with the bar?
42:30
No, I'm gonna call you, give me your number.
42:34
I'm gonna remember that fucking joke.
42:36
This guy get the fuck out of my face.
42:37
There was this guy that he was just like, oh you, you're a comedian
42:40
I was like, yeah, he was like, yo, I'm a therapist and I just
42:43
feel like me and you like, it's kind of the same thing, right
42:46
Because it's kind of like you get into people's minds, right
42:50
And you try to like bring, you know, your trauma and like make
42:53
people like come to an understanding, but I feel like you do
42:56
it with a larger crowd.
42:57
I just do it individually and I was like, you should get fired
43:02
because that is not like that's the last thing you want to get
43:08
in the chair.
43:08
Like, so what do you want to talk about that?
43:09
First of all, first of all, before you start airplane food
43:13
am I right?
43:14
Hold on.
43:15
Yeah, because this plane about the crash and I gotta go but
43:21
I hope that was helpful.
43:23
Yeah.
43:23
Yeah, you gotta work on your uh you got to work on being a better
43:28
person.
43:29
Look, if you're serious about go to open mics sink a swim.
43:32
That's how it is.
43:33
And I call open mics.
43:34
The opposite of therapy.
43:36
I went to like open mics in New York and it would destroy my soul
43:39
So I want you to go there.
43:41
It will make you a better person.
43:43
It will.
43:43
Yeah, you won't judge your roommate as much.
43:47
I think I am.
43:47
So that is it for this episode?
43:49
Shout out to Joanna Hausmann for coming through, check her
43:51
out social media if you want to plug in right now.
43:55
Let me, it's on Twitter.
43:56
It's Jona Houseman, Instagram, Joe House.
43:58
Honestly, just, just Google Joanna Venezuela and I pop up
44:02
because my last name is a nightmare to spell.
44:03
All right.
44:04
So thanks for tuning in.
44:05
Make sure to comment, share and tell everyone about the show
44:08
Subscribe.
44:08
Do all the things, tell people how help us, help us, help them
44:12
out and we were struggling but help us out.
44:15
Yo, just know that this is a great podcast that help us out and
44:22
subscribe and all that shit if you know what's good for you
44:25
right?
44:26
Don't threaten people.