00:00
Nobody would fuck with Eric cause you know he, he would have
00:02
been like the jock dude, the, the dude that we actually think
00:05
that's gonna make it out the hood.
00:07
You know, I do the work at mcdonald's.
00:11
He's gonna do the gift shot when he gets a scholarship.
00:22
What up everybody and welcome to another episode of Three
00:27
I'm Jesus Sapoa, Eric Rivera in the building and we have a special
00:33
That's right, dude, I've been watching her since I was a kid
00:38
Oh Yeah, that's how you started.
00:40
Not that old pretty young.
00:43
What did you grow up watching?
00:46
Uh I grew up like Chappelle's first special, like, like it
00:50
was almost a big influence for me like his, one of the shows
00:53
Uh Murphy, of course, I feel like we all deliveries and raw
00:58
Uh And then like, once I started doing comedy, like a lot of
01:01
the New York guys like Greg Jr though.
01:03
Uh Patria Neal uh Kevin Hart was doing at that point hosting
01:10
Well, thanks for giving us a long ass list.
01:13
I wanted, I wanted, I wanted one.
01:17
You, who did you watch when you as a podcast?
01:20
And we have, what the heck?
01:23
You sound like the, the, the, the kid is going like, oh God.
01:26
And what about that guy?
01:29
You sound like a welcome to a medium where we supposed to have
01:33
What's wrong with you?
01:34
You like an abusive husband?
01:38
You're like that, that husband in lifetime movies.
01:40
Like, babe, what do you want?
01:42
I know that you a question.
01:45
One moment, he's like, he's really about it and the next moment
01:47
he's like, read the room.
01:49
Don't, don't waste my time.
01:51
The room is reading and, and it's giving, they want to hear
01:54
the story and then instantly regret them asking like, oh,
02:00
I, I didn't care about half of this after a comic.
02:05
I'm like, oh, I'm all right.
02:06
Let him rant on his own.
02:08
This is a snoozer unless the story involves him or it's about
02:14
He don't, he don't have a bit for it.
02:15
That's what happened.
02:16
He don't have a bit for it.
02:18
He's just like, oh, ok.
02:19
He doesn't have his bits.
02:20
That's what it is that right?
02:23
See your brother for you guys to take the whole conversation
02:26
to a halt because now we're scared to talk.
02:30
Don't answer that, you know, am I gonna get corny.
02:34
Who, who Are you watching that kid?
02:43
It's a joke, Je loosen up.
02:45
Does your, does your, does your girl flinch when you ask her
02:48
No, of course, the opposite.
02:50
That's why he's abusing us because you gotta be like, hello
02:52
Yeah, I got a curfew.
02:53
Yeah, dude, I can't say anything.
02:55
I gotta sit down when I pee when I get home.
02:57
Let's open up the show with my favorite segment.
03:07
A Florida woman was arrested after painting car to look like
03:10
Florida highway patrol.
03:13
Wow, that's, that's smart.
03:17
So she painted her car to look like uh highway patrol.
03:20
So she wouldn't get pulled over fire.
03:22
I guarantee when she got, when she did get pulled over and they
03:24
gave her the ticket, she was like, ho how she, she used white
03:27
people words like I am appalled and how dare you?
03:32
That's a ballsy move.
03:34
How long did you think that was gonna last?
03:36
And then they were gonna check the plates and be like, uh yeah
03:38
we don't use those cars.
03:40
We, we don't use the Honda Civics as a police car also.
03:43
Was she dressing like Florida patrol or?
03:45
She's just like Nancy normal clothes?
03:48
And they're just like what the f it, she said she fell in love
03:52
with the color scheme.
03:55
That's like a perfect way.
03:58
But that's a perfect way to like act like you don't know what
04:01
the fuck is going on like I just love the colors game versus
04:05
like I was standing.
04:06
Uh Yeah, that's cool.
04:08
But you also put police on the door.
04:12
That's how white people don't take accountability.
04:14
They just go and say something else.
04:17
You can look at that like, you know what I'm gonna do that.
04:20
What are the odds she said I can do?
04:22
Because my tax dollars pay your sell.
04:26
I feel like a Latina mom.
04:27
Que Huevos, Que Huevos to just drive around and be a cop.
04:31
Well, I did do this though.
04:34
I did do the police uh siren and the lights because you can buy
04:40
those lights at the swap meet cause they had like the green
04:44
and yellow and red and they were just flashy lights and then
04:47
I was like, oh that's cool.
04:48
And then the guy switched it to a mode where it was red and blue
04:51
and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
04:53
Uh let's go back to that.
04:55
And uh it's como la la and I'm like, can you connect that to your
05:04
And I'm like, I could just put that in the back seat, turn it
05:07
on and people will think I'm a cop but oh, ok.
05:09
So it doesn't make any sense.
05:10
No, it didn't make no sound but the speakers are just, and I
05:14
roll down the windows and then we used to go to the neighborhoods
05:16
and we used to do that and let me tell you it worked.
05:20
It fucking worked, dude.
05:21
We were doing it all the time when it works, it works.
05:24
We pulled over like five people and then drove in the back and
05:27
like low key, this woman probably stopped a whole bunch of
05:31
She probably stopped a whole bunch of crimes without knowing
05:33
because people would be like, oh shit, the cops and they'll
05:35
like, just pull away from like probably making a crime and
05:38
she didn't even know that.
05:39
So maybe it was helpful.
05:40
Like he made a vigilante like she was batman.
05:43
Um By the way, I don't even know what that means.
05:46
But I'm saying that you're saying it, I love, I can see it.
05:49
I can see it on his face because I, you a vigilante because what
05:51
I'm about to say, I don't even know if it's a vigilante, but
05:54
I saw a car crash happened before anybody else saw it and I felt
06:00
like it's my responsibility and duty to call uh police.
06:05
You know what I'm saying?
06:06
So I feel like very like, I feel like I was the first to see and
06:09
then people say like, who's the first person?
06:12
And I, and I, everybody was talking to me first for you to use
06:16
Uh as a V I saw him come out and I was getting, I was even can you
06:24
How would you spell vigilante?
06:26
Visual anti All right, visual and then you write ante at the
06:32
at the end, visual, the visual visual, visual V I si don't
06:40
Vigilante is one of the day visual ante vis visual.
06:48
And then auntie is a N UPNUT visual aunties.
07:01
When you got aunties that are visual visual aunties.
07:08
I used to go for like second hugs and shit.
07:11
Can I ask you you guys a question real quick?
07:16
How early is it to bring someone to the Christmas party to your
07:20
How long you been dating her since July?
07:25
I don't know if we love each other yet.
07:28
July, August, September, October, November, December.
07:32
So I I would say six months, six months.
07:35
So we like bitch you around in January after Christmas because
07:40
maybe I'll see you then in January for New Year's.
07:43
You know, if she's a baddie, I'll bring her just for like just
07:46
to show off, you know my aunt, he's like, I'll let them talk
07:50
shit but the boys outside.
07:52
Yo, yo, I like, well, yo, you know I fuck out here.
07:58
But uh yeah, so it's up to you.
08:01
II I live a toxic life player.
08:03
So don't take advice from me.
08:05
I just, I, yeah, I just feel like if you're not trying to take
08:08
this woman serious you don't know how crazy she is.
08:10
If you introduce her to the family too soon and you're not even
08:13
you don't even know if you're really into her and then you
08:17
try to break up with her and she'd be like, I met your whole family
08:19
I can't believe you said that to me.
08:21
And then she like, starts breaking your shit or like, you know
08:24
sending D MS to your family is like, oh I can't believe that
08:31
he or she can I oh my God or she would light your, do your front
08:39
door on fire and you will never know that I would do it just to
08:47
break her into like what she's gonna get herself into like
08:50
That's how, why they are, that's what to do.
08:52
What's up you like this or not, if you really like her, I guess
08:56
Yeah, I think 56 if you start seeing her, like not like you certain
09:00
shit be like, I think in the 56 month mark, you should know if
09:04
you like it or not to bring around the family.
09:05
It's the same for dudes, like same for dudes.
09:07
You don't know if, if you're not really knowing if you're into
09:11
Whatever you said, how many families have you went to go visit
09:13
And you were just like, hey, that serious and I won here kissing
09:16
the grandma like, hey, how's it going when I was in here just
09:19
like I'm about to break up with her on April.
09:21
This ain't even going that far.
09:24
I remember dating this guy and him being like, yo come meet
09:27
my family and I'm like, no, like I don't even know if I like you
09:32
Hold on is the queen of like, yeah, how this guy bug and talking
09:37
about who wants me to come over and shit.
09:39
But I'm telling you, fuck your, I'm telling you the real story
09:43
And I was just like, no, I don't know if I like you like that.
09:46
I still, I still wet.
09:48
Did you go there angry?
09:49
Like, well, I, I really was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:53
And I was like, I'm gonna, that I'm gonna break that.
09:56
I'm like that door that I that is from my brother experience
10:01
Damn, you were like, please, can we just enjoy ourselves?
10:04
If your grandma said I'm gonna kick in the fucking chair, please
10:07
Just, no, because I didn't know I didn't know hungry.
10:10
Now they loved me, they loved me and they were like, when is
10:14
And I was like, never shut.
10:16
Why are you guys thinking that I'm like, I used to get bagged
10:20
Oh my God, I got back so much.
10:22
Damn, I introduce me to them up.
10:27
They used to introduce me to their families all the time.
10:29
I'd be like I don't want to go.
10:31
But, ok, this food, yeah, I like that.
10:35
When he says it is believable and nobody teases him.
10:38
They used to call me money because I'd be in bags.
10:40
You know what I'm saying?
10:41
And I'm just like wallet, they call me wallet because I'm in
10:46
Well, when he says it, it's like believable.
10:48
So when I say that and when I say it, it's like, oh it's a lie.
10:54
I don't know because you know, I got the pimp juice.
10:56
Uh also I've been who say it's believable when he says it because
11:00
you ain't making fun of him.
11:02
He's like that dumb cousin like, oh my God, you're not gonna
11:04
believe what I did and we're like, ok.
11:07
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
11:09
It's my cousin and uh also my cousin, I've been in that relationship
11:14
where like I knew she cheated on me and she invited me to family
11:16
functions and I'm like, all right, bitch, guess what I'm about
11:19
I'm about to be the coolest guy at their party.
11:21
I'm gonna be cool with the dad.
11:23
I'm gonna be cool with the cousin.
11:24
I'm gonna be cool with everybody.
11:25
So when I'm not here, they're gonna be like, what was that cool
11:30
So, so when she was playing checkers, you were playing chess
11:33
my man, I was playing chess.
11:35
I was all in that motherfucker.
11:36
I took the queen, I took the king in my back pocket.
11:40
And then when I see him in the store they see me and they run into
11:42
She's like, oh me, that shes like, oh my God, I haven't talked
11:44
to her and I'm like, how you doing?
11:46
But hey, I see you guys, you're doing good.
11:48
You put him in the bounce and I'm like for that boots and met
11:55
Fuck so long story short, don't take Jesus advice.
12:01
I wouldn't take any of my advice, Jesus Christ.
12:05
But you lived your life.
12:08
If you see a bump, go straight to the doctor, we'll be right
12:10
back after this commercial break.
12:12
Hey, do you wanna look at something?
12:15
It's one of these, one of these, it was that for yo, yo.
12:27
Welcome back to another episode of three Gs today.
12:29
We've got acted out special edition action edition.
12:32
I'm gonna kick it over to stuntman Alec back.
12:34
Who's gonna take us through what we're supposed to do today
12:36
All right, we're gonna act out a little scene with my man here
12:39
We're gonna go through some basics of how to look like an action
12:43
star basically, which pretty much means I don't need any practice
12:46
because I know how to kick ass.
12:47
Uh I don't know if you noticed but I've been in a couple of street
12:49
fights, I've been in a couple of karate fights, uh UFC fights
12:53
Uh yeah, bedroom bi fights, you know what I'm talking about
12:56
what the fuck, sorry.
12:59
Uh So as a sensei you do look like you've got into some fast food
13:05
Good one, good singers.
13:07
Uh Anyways, we don't wanna talk about your butt fights But
13:09
anyways moving on as a sensei uh how do you uh uh perfect a fake
13:16
punch, a fake punch.
13:17
So it's all about camera angles.
13:19
So with this camera right here, if I were to throw a big hook
13:22
there's so much air there that we're not gonna be able to see
13:26
It's gonna be obvious that that was a miss.
13:28
So you wanna make sure everything looks good on camera.
13:31
So what I would do here is with my right hand, I would aim for
13:35
So you take that shot back or on this side.
13:37
So it looks like there's connection because there's no air
13:43
Oh that look legit, that look legit from over there.
13:47
Did it look like a punch?
13:51
Did you so good dude.
13:54
Oh it was way more of that came from, check this out.
13:57
So like yo, what the fuck?
14:01
I swear to God, dude.
14:02
Uh People actually do that when I do punch them.
14:05
So that looks pretty real to me, I'm sure.
14:09
So body hits, the big thing is especially here you wanna make
14:12
a little bit of contact so just hit and pull back like whoa dude
14:19
So just like if you're doing an upper cut to the stomach, you
14:22
wanna make just a little bit of contact and retract closer
14:25
So just go oh wait, what, who, what happens or just?
14:30
But you wanna wait until you feel it to take that reaction.
14:32
So I am gonna feel something just a little bit.
14:35
You got a lot of cushion there, dude, you're good.
14:36
So if you want to practice on me just a little uppercut to the
14:39
stomach, just a little, his ST didn't even move.
14:45
I know, dude, by the way, that's rock hard.
14:49
This guy, we've been on a strike for a while so I try it again
14:55
No, I I said lightly in that.
14:58
00 you not that type of show me.
15:03
It's not that type of show, dude.
15:08
What sells a punch to is the hip movement into it?
15:11
So if you're just here, it doesn't look that powerful.
15:12
But if you turn your hips into it, I gotta turn my hips to it.
15:16
Yo, you got chop bearing hips.
15:21
I like it I like it.
15:23
Those are good moves, good fucking moves.
15:25
And we're gonna throw some knees in here as well.
15:27
A big thing with a knee in a real fight, which obviously, you
15:31
know, you'd aim with the knee cap here.
15:35
We're gonna hit inside the knee, inside of the knee, top of
15:38
the quad so you can do it over and over without breaking ribs
15:42
Get you straight here.
15:45
He's really selling it.
15:47
I love the coughing at the end.
15:49
You're making me feel strong and I'm not gonna lie to you.
15:51
Walking away from this.
15:53
I'm gonna wanna fuck someone up, dude.
15:54
So uh let's, let's how about we paint a scene, huh?
15:57
That's sound of the scenario.
16:00
Uh We're at a club, I tell you what happened.
16:04
I went to go get her.
16:05
So me and my girl, some drinks I came back.
16:07
She'd been dancing with this hot body, ok?
16:11
I got my cool guy glasses on at the club and I'm over there to
16:15
confront you and I'm ready to kick your ass, ok?
16:21
Well, hey, listen here.
16:27
Yeah, that one right there.
16:28
Hey, do you wanna look at something?
16:37
I know that and that's how the cookie crumbles.
16:53
Hey, Alec, can I ask you?
16:54
Why does it look like he's jumping rope when he punches?
16:57
Should he be like firm?
16:59
I don't think he's ever been in a fight because no one, no one
17:03
Like he's doing double dutch.
17:05
I think that's the side you see, you know that's that Bruce
17:08
Lee has a couple of street fights.
17:10
He doesn't know anything about that.
17:12
Ok, I'm at the gasoline station trying to pump some gas.
17:16
Uh You are persistent and trying to hook up with me.
17:19
I keep saying no but you keep trying and trying and trying and
17:23
this is me fighting back.
17:24
All right, dude, please.
17:26
No, dude, I'm serious.
17:28
Hey man, what the hell?
17:31
All right and I'm, I'm gonna stop trying to fuck me.
17:36
Oh that is gonna be a little late for dinner.
17:48
I go, I'm talking about, oh dude, did it hurt you?
17:54
By the way, I would have let you, I wouldn't have fought it.
17:59
All right, let's see.
18:00
Eric Eric's gonna talk about his only like fighting moves
18:03
Uh When do I bite him and use my nails to scratch them?
18:08
And then last punch will be into the trash can if you want to
18:12
punch me in the face and send me that way.
18:13
When do I scream for help?
18:20
How, hey, Eric, good thing you brought a Thong on today, huh
18:26
You can be more flexible, dude.
18:32
You still, you still want your girl shades?
18:34
Is that what we're doing?
18:35
That's what we're doing.
18:51
Um That was so sweet.
18:57
You're, you're Jesus.
19:00
Yeah, you're talking too much and I'm gonna shut you up.
19:04
So you guys, you just say random stuff just this if we're gonna
19:08
be Jesus, you, you do a lot of like, oh my dad and I'm so cool and
19:13
then I'm just gonna uh uh and take you out.
19:18
Walk yourself, dude that you OK?
19:34
Two Gs coming this spring, Sasha, you're up.
19:40
Ah You're trying what?
19:44
Look at Sasha um oh my God.
19:46
I think I'm gonna hit you or kiss you.
19:47
I mean, can't you punch to the face right here?
19:51
Punch to the gut or need of the guy that works too either way
19:59
And then I'm gonna come back and punch you now.
20:01
So what I want you to do this that way and then I want you to grab
20:09
Look at that turn pivot your hips and then I'm gonna fly.
20:13
Oh I wish he hugged me.
20:18
So let's, let's walk that.
20:19
We want to hold his hand so, oh Yeah.
20:26
And so, so what the hell is that?
20:29
You gotta throw your back.
20:30
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
20:33
So all this is gonna be a me, it's here and then just stay out
20:39
of the way and just grab my wrist here and open up and I will OK
20:45
Let's go here and then get out of the way.
20:49
When you say you grew up in the Bronx.
20:52
Where did you grow up?
20:53
I don't, first of all, what part of the Bronx you grow up in?
20:56
I don't, we don't really use techniques.
20:58
It's either this, it's either this right.
21:01
You know what I'm saying?
21:02
It's like a lot of attack your whole body to him like a spider
21:09
looks like she uses weapons.
21:10
She don't really use her.
21:12
So there's an actual scene all talking for you.
21:15
I'm talking for Alec is, I'm walking in this hot w guy, this
21:22
A hot, hot, this hot walk.
21:30
This hot white guy walks in and wants to gentrify the neighborhood
21:35
he's taking over this apartment and you're putting a stop
21:38
He's trying to take over the Bronx.
21:43
Like what's going on?
21:44
You trying to buy the place with your hot ass?
21:46
I just trying to make things better and just whiter that, that's
21:50
That's how you always try to make things better.
21:52
But how about make your face better like this, son?
22:00
Um, you, you feel me?
22:15
He, one more, one more seat, one more seat, one more seat, one
22:21
more seat, one more seat, one more seat, one more seat.
22:24
This is gonna be, you're in the subway and this poor hot guy
22:31
Oh, I got accidentally, he accidentally stepped, stepped
22:36
That's a big mistake in New York.
22:39
He stepped in your tents trying to ask for directions like
22:41
typical white guys do.
22:44
If you tell me where to get the uh a red train, something like
22:48
Blue train by train.
22:49
That's the way you know, Jesus is not from New York.
22:52
I'm not from New York.
22:53
How did you, how can you tell?
23:00
Yo, yo, my man's yo.
23:03
I, I, I'm, I'm too, I'm sorry, I, I have Birkenstock on, I'm
23:07
I, is that, is that a crime?
23:09
Yeah, it is a crime.
23:17
Uh uh What God in your face next time I see you motherfucker
23:34
We wanna say thank you to ALEC for one more time for doing you
23:37
guys teaching us how to fake fights.
23:39
In case you guys, uh you know, ever need to be in a real fight
23:43
He, he showed us a moose, you know what I'm saying?
23:44
So he actually looked like he knew how to fight.
23:47
I don't know, dude, for a second, I thought you were just gonna
23:49
use nails and biting.
23:50
I feel like we should be vigilantes or something, man.
23:53
But for you guys at home, stay put because we'll be right back
23:57
after these commercial breaks.
23:59
Peace Out show show over time.
24:01
That was pretty dope.
24:02
Hey, you know how f from the hood, you know how they like to talk
24:06
about how they, oh man, yo, these cops were chasing me and I
24:09
got away, yo, this food out.
24:11
Exactly like that dude.
24:15
Who, who, who the police pass out?
24:23
All right guys, this next guest that we have is one of our favorites
24:27
Oh man, you can see this guy touring everywhere.
24:30
Uh He is on the hit show.
24:32
This Fool and has a strong podcast called What's Up Food Makes
24:38
As far as everybody tell him some love.
24:42
Hey, how do you like the sitcom set?
24:50
I'm glad I'm, I'm coming down the steps and not going up the
24:53
steps and never coming back down again because usually when
24:57
you're on a you will watch a sitcom, like you're watching a
24:59
show and then, like, if, um, one of the relatives, like, like
25:03
I know family matters.
25:05
I think the, the little sister, one of the sisters went up and
25:09
she never came back.
25:10
She come down for like four seasons.
25:12
Yeah, she disappeared.
25:15
So, if you're ever on a television show, man, be careful, man
25:18
Don't go up the stairs.
25:19
Hey, you know, you got cut out when they're like, you now you're
25:22
gonna upstairs, you're like, damn, that's it for me.
25:24
Yo, Jesus, do me a favor.
25:26
I knew it was coming.
25:27
I can see it in your eyes.
25:28
He went up real quick and then when I leave, I, I always leave
25:31
and I see him talking to the producers and I'm like, what is
25:34
What the fuck is he saying?
25:36
I've been on sets where um you know where one of the actors or
25:39
actresses is doing too much or asking for too much.
25:42
Like maybe we, we should do it this way.
25:45
Maybe we should do it that way.
25:46
And I've seen uh Eric, Eric, maybe we should do it.
25:51
We should just film it this way and it's, it's taking a lot of
25:55
Maybe you should shut up.
25:56
You know, there's this, it's costing um $35,000 an hour to
26:03
It was they yapping you know, but, um, I've seen a director
26:06
go, ok, we're gonna do it that way and I swear, bro, let's do
26:11
And I, I've noticed that they didn't even film it, bro.
26:14
Just, just to shut her or him up, didn't even shoot it, bro.
26:19
But I'm, I'm just, I'm just a guy with one line watching people
26:22
with 10 lines in the movie.
26:24
But killing it, killing it because, uh, that movie you just
26:26
did with Eddie Murphy, bro.
26:27
I come here with one line and I watch everybody struggle with
26:33
Like I have one line, one line and I'm struggling with that
26:38
But I was, I, I forgot my line.
26:40
As soon as Eddie Murphy came into the room, he, Eddie Murphy
26:43
has like, um, three people that work with him besides assistants
26:48
He has a person that looks exactly like him with a, with a double
26:52
who was a real nice guy who I said, what's up, Eddie?
26:56
And, um, and he has another one that looks like him if he was
27:03
So, so whenever there's a driving, he's with those two guys
27:07
Yeah, they're standing in the background.
27:09
So the guy just say you and I are, are talking right?
27:13
So Eddie Murphy is talking to me.
27:16
So after uh when they say cut and it's your turn to talk, it is
27:21
You're talking to the other guy no sight.
27:23
So someone gets hired Eddie.
27:26
So I didn't know this.
27:28
So there's a dude sitting there like this quiet and not saying
27:31
nothing with shades.
27:33
And I thought, and I'm like, they're getting his shots, you
27:36
know, and he has the same skin tone as Eddie, the same height
27:41
everything, bone structure.
27:44
Like when they told that when he, when they did that movie,
27:46
uh when Eddie Murphy has to be the big comedian, what's his
27:49
Uh Do, do, do Sasha Dolomite.
27:53
And um they told him, uh man, we're gonna need you to gain £40
27:59
So he had to gain £40.
28:00
But Eddie wears a fat suit.
28:04
He makes, he makes his double, he's a fucking, you're giving
28:11
So he's gonna be bringing doubles like, yo, you need me for
28:16
When you saw Eddie Murphy, like, were you like blown up?
28:20
I was standing next to um the my where my marker, I guess we're
28:25
supposed to talk and um he sits down, nobody says nothing and
28:30
he looks, he looks at me, he goes, he goes, man, you're a funny
28:34
motherfucker, my man.
28:36
And then everybody stays quiet.
28:38
I, I like the movie.
28:39
And then when you popped in, I was like, oh shit.
28:41
But one of the craziest things that people come up to you and
28:42
tell you all these like rookies and just like, oh you're just
28:45
my favorite or, or all these just ass kissing all the time or
28:48
is it like, ever tell you to call somebody?
28:51
Can you talk to my cousin?
28:53
Um I like like the, the meeting greet.
28:57
Must take a photo, right?
28:58
And move, move it along, right.
29:01
But, but sometimes like he goes, oh man, talk to my um my friend
29:05
man, he got COVID right now and he, he, he gave me the ticket
29:11
And it was, they caught him up.
29:12
He's like, I'm a black ho like this.
29:14
You know what's up fool?
29:23
Uh you said this once in your uh your podcast.
29:25
I think that you said this guy was like, yo, man, can we get free
29:28
You know, my, my grandma just died.
29:31
This person just got killed this and that.
29:33
And you're like, nah, dude, I feel, I feel like you have a lot
29:35
of bad karma right now.
29:36
So I think uh need to work that out before you get it back to me
29:42
They asked me to show my next time, man.
29:45
Like it's weird that they, they tell me like um next time, man
29:48
you to via California, bro, don't get a hotel stay in our house
29:56
at the beginning of a horror film.
29:58
Like, what do they expect?
29:59
You're gonna be like, yeah, you're, yeah, that's way fucking
30:02
I don't know I don't know why I pay for a hotel.
30:04
I have my own space.
30:05
How many bathrooms do you have in your house?
30:08
They mean it lovingly but they don't realize how creepy it
30:11
Like I've had I, I did a show once and this, this lady was like
30:13
I made you this cake and I was like, yeah, I'm not, I don't know
30:17
what she just made like a little bunt cake.
30:22
She was like, I made that I, I love cake way too much to give that
30:27
I would have somebody else taste it.
30:28
And if they don't die, I had, I had a guy bring me A B and he made
30:33
He's like I made you merge.
30:35
I was like, OK cool.
30:36
It was cool share with the you know a little saying I was like
30:39
But then after I was done, he called me just said like, hey,
30:42
so this is how much it was to make the shares move and I'm like
30:45
whoa, you I thought you gave it to me.
30:47
He's like, no, I'm trying to make profit.
30:49
I mean, I'm like, dude, what the fuck?
30:51
I didn't know it was working for you but he just made himself
30:54
into a business to me and I would have told that listen man,
30:57
this sh is gonna be the side of the freeway, bro.
30:59
Go get it right now.
31:01
But we're actually going live right now.
31:03
Do we have any questions so far?
31:04
Well, they wanna know what your guys' nicknames were growing
31:09
Do you guys have any?
31:10
Well, my, yeah, what was your nickname growing up?
31:17
They just wait, that was the nickname you gave yourself.
31:20
Why did they call you Batman?
31:22
I wear the same shirt every day, bro.
31:25
You're like a superhero boy.
31:27
You wear the same shirt I tell you're a batman and that's it
31:32
That's, that's better because it's not like they were like
31:34
oh you smell you wearing the same thing, Batman?
31:38
I got mine early superhero that wears the same stuff every
31:41
day and everybody called you batman through that because
31:44
I used to wear those, remember those under rules Superman
31:47
on in Superman colors and a Superman shirt to go to sleep in
31:51
But I had the batman one but I was the only one that wore it as
31:55
a regular shirt like a little pajama set even after it was too
32:01
I have to wear like this to get out and then came back down my
32:06
son the other day, put on a shirt and like kids just don't know
32:09
like I was like, dude, you can't wear it because why not?
32:11
I like you look like Winnie the pooh dude, put your hands up
32:14
I was like, if you, I could no go change if I can see your stomach
32:18
They used to be a deaf guy in my neighborhood and he was like
32:22
They used to call him Modi Modi because it means deaf.
32:26
But this was like really, really deaf, bro.
32:28
And like, I don't think they ever and a car thief.
32:30
Yes, this fool, you know how fools on the hood, you know the
32:34
you in the Bronx, right?
32:35
How they like to talk about how they, oh man, yo, this cop was
32:39
chasing me and I got away, yo, but this fool, yes, this fool
32:44
Exactly like that dude.
32:47
So we like this, whoa, whoa whoa He'd be like, and then the car
32:57
chase, you know w like that, right?
33:01
He goes up this, he talked about, I was gonna stop like, 000
33:05
I was like, and he goes, but the police passed by, he be like
33:09
this at this, the police at this.
33:15
He's still in the car.
33:16
You can't hear, he's a great mechanic and uh uh deaf.
33:22
But you, you can't tell him, man, my car sounds weird, bro.
33:25
You'll never know what I'm saying.
33:26
Like you still in the car, you can't hear like people coming
33:28
up at you like you can't hear the cops chasing you.
33:31
Like that's confidence.
33:32
I think it's funny like he still be clowning on people too.
33:35
And I'm like, oh shit, he's still, he's still fixing cars first
33:41
Any, any more questions?
33:42
Yeah, we got one more.
33:43
Who's your guys' favorite up and coming comedian right now
33:48
I'm still up and coming, man.
33:50
Still haven't made it.
33:52
You got one line actually up and coming.
33:57
Uh, this is comedian in um, from Texas.
34:01
He's a vet and even Rose Sanchez.
34:06
I know what you're talking about.
34:06
Yeah, he's not into that.
34:09
I saw his, he's funny.
34:13
Like a couple of dudes right now.
34:14
I think uh Ian Lara is hilarious.
34:16
I got you talking about, I know makes your friends, bro.
34:21
It's just somebody you don't know, bro.
34:23
Uh around here, Vince Caldera.
34:34
No, I was gonna say Ian Laa, but apparently he sucks.
34:37
No, Ian Lata I think is really good.
34:39
Uh uh um There's a um what's this?
34:43
Uh oh, don't, don't say OK, I thought you were gonna mention
34:47
people that were on there, call him and see a vice, a joke.
34:54
It took me five or six years to develop, who takes five years
35:00
If it takes five years to develop a joke, it should be stolen
35:04
It should be 5 to 6 years to develop a joke and they steal it,
35:11
I think you forgot that you wrote that joke and then somehow
35:15
you had a dream that somebody stole it and you looking for somebody
35:18
to blame you fight your stick just to write a joke, man, you
35:24
should do, you should be doing on public speaking.
35:27
Stay away from punch lines and set ups.
35:30
You're gonna give yourself a headache.
35:31
When it, when one hour let me tell you, man, when you don't know
35:33
how to play guitar, you join us, it's also bad, you know, and
35:38
when you don't know how to write jokes, you become a motivational
35:41
That's great advice.
35:42
You're giving people great advice, right?
35:44
Comics that became comics and anybody that could, that knows
35:48
how to do a solo ain't playing in non band.
35:54
If you're a guy that could write jokes and you're not doing
35:58
a motivational speaking, they hire the whole shit.
36:03
If you're a great comic, they hire you to host nothing because
36:06
they don't trust your funny ass.
36:08
Well, we also wanted to ask you a question, you know, like uh
36:10
you're from Bull Heights, right?
36:12
And people are saying the Bull Heights is it used to be a tough
36:14
neighborhood uh out of all three of us.
36:18
Do you think we could?
36:19
Which one of us can survive in Bull Heights?
36:22
Would you know who do you think?
36:24
First of all, I don't like how quick.
36:27
And II I think the the the three of you guys will survive in more
36:31
He especially ee even in my neighborhood, Aliso Village housing
36:35
projects, PICO Aliso because there was like um there was not
36:38
one even like she grew up in the Bronx so she knows that there's
36:42
not one type of genre in the hood.
36:45
People think that the hood is just like, you know, like big
36:49
There is big pun type fools because there's also different
36:53
type of fools, you know who like other shit, man.
36:55
Like there's a guy like him, this dude had all this.
36:58
I don't like the way I don't like the way that the way you frozen
37:03
Eric, nobody would fuck with Eric because you know, he, he
37:05
would have been like the jock dude, the dude that we actually
37:08
think that's gonna make it up the hood.
37:10
So we would have, you know, right.
37:14
The dude that works at mcdonald's, you know, the good dude
37:18
you know, he might get like, he, he's a dude that gets shot
37:22
when he gets the scholarship.
37:25
That was that you killed on grad night grad gonna make you but
37:29
he od the the first time trying to weed, you know, exactly like
37:33
you ever have somebody call like, you know who you look like
37:35
you just like uh it's not gonna be good.
37:37
This is not gonna be like he, he looks at the type of kid that
37:40
when he gets out of the car, his mom puts lotion on his face,
37:42
you know what I mean?
37:43
So didn't you tucking his shirt as he's walking into class
37:46
His mom gives him a kiss.
37:48
He has his mom's kiss.
37:50
The lipstick in the forehead.
37:51
Yeah, we all, we all laugh because his mom gave him a kiss but
37:54
We don't even know what that guy like, man.
37:57
Yo, you gotta make it because yo, you got a mom, man.
38:00
Yeah, you got a mom.
38:03
If I see you out here, I'm gonna fuck you up trying to be nice
38:09
If I see you in this corner again, I'm gonna fuck you over here
38:13
But this guy right here like you don't wanna be like this guy
38:17
I'm like, he's your age, bro.
38:22
I'm just standing there like what the fuck?
38:26
The fucking bleachers have a football game and I say this fucking
38:29
fuck it was, I didn't even get to enjoy it because I was on the
38:33
lookout the whole time.
38:34
Like, so there were people watching the game.
38:36
You were down there that only happened in movies.
38:41
You were trying to the time to bust on a big cheer on the movie
38:49
Yeah, I could see, I feel like you, I don't know you would date
38:52
I don't know, just get married and have kids.
38:54
I feel like you would have a toxic ass relationship.
38:56
I feel like it would be loud.
38:58
You would be like that couple.
38:59
I, I would not be loud.
39:01
That's what I will do.
39:04
You keep it in, you wait to get in the house.
39:06
I would be like, you know, pack the stuff and, and leave.
39:10
She'll be at the family party.
39:11
Not let him when we get home.
39:14
I don't know if you wait until you get to the house.
39:15
What changes have you seen in Boyle Heights since you've grown
39:19
Like now is more white people, you know, not saying hi.
39:22
I mean, I don't mind if you move to the hood but say hi.
39:25
You know, say hi to the people that have been, that been living
39:27
there for about say good morning man or say hello man.
39:30
Don't act like you're in Minnesota because you think you were
39:34
like a nerd at the time in the nineties.
39:36
People thought I was a nerd man because, because I was chilling
39:40
man and like I knew stuff that they didn't know because I read
39:42
the newspaper and I remember everybody, you know how to read
39:45
I remember everybody's getting high and I'm like, everybody
39:48
laughing and like, hey, man, everybody said today is such
39:52
But bro, you know who's birthday today is Mo Howard in front
39:58
Everybody says what?
40:00
That was their reaction.
40:01
I can see that I would have been like reads, man.
40:05
I would get upset that you're so smart.
40:06
I'm like, Hey, shut the fuck.
40:11
He's been giving me, use my mind.
40:13
But I didn't graduate high school because I got somebody pregnant
40:20
I was like young having fun.
40:23
Do you know where, where it happened?
40:28
We used to go there every Friday.
40:29
That was our date night, bro, every Friday.
40:31
Um Well, there used to be uh like a little store that sold um
40:37
Tortas both Comoros market putting it out there, but they
40:41
don't even exist and they used to sell alcohol to underage
40:47
It started off with uh a little note that said, uh my dad wants
40:51
a marble lights and it'll be wrapped with the money and then
40:54
they'll give you the marble lights and then they'll give you
40:57
But we just, we go there and buy like a uh 40 ounces of old English
41:03
So that would be like we walk together holding a bottle to the
41:06
park and we start drinking and chilling.
41:09
We could have got jumped, we could have got kidnapped.
41:15
Come on, we're chilling, bro.
41:16
And you having set in the park?
41:19
Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on outside, outside
41:22
Oh, hell no, no, I never done the outside thing.
41:24
I've always been like find a dark corner of the park and the
41:27
park there and then I, ok, you a Swiss sweaters there?
41:33
Yeah, baby, I know this guy had sex in cars.
41:41
You, anybody who has sex in the school at the bleachers, the
41:47
bleachers at the fucking bleachers have a football game.
41:51
And I said, fuck it, fuck it was, I didn't even get to enjoy it
41:55
because I was on the lookout the whole time.
41:57
Like, so there were people watching the game.
41:59
You were down there that only happened in movies, bro.
42:04
You were trying, you were trying to the time to bust on a big
42:10
I got three minutes of this hurry that I had at the time of solo
42:23
you should have done it, but it was like I regretted it because
42:25
it was that one that you don't want people to know that you did
42:28
So why, so why do it at that age?
42:31
Whatever you can get, you can get it.
42:34
You know what I mean?
42:34
Like, I don't know when I'm gonna fucking, you know, I don't
42:36
know what I'm gonna do.
42:37
Is that what you, you, you hold on, you were gonna die tomorrow
42:42
you gonna die tomorrow.
42:45
If you, if a girl walk up to you, if a girl walks up to you and said
42:50
yo, I wanna do it right now.
42:53
You're quick quickly thinking where and how fast can I do this
42:58
I was like, uh, 17 turning 18.
43:02
So, why, why didn't you want your friends to find out about
43:05
Oh, she, she, she, she, yeah, she's definitely not AAA, sit
43:10
down restaurant type of girl.
43:11
She's more of fast food in the car.
43:13
Get it, go bla bla bla bla, you know what I mean?
43:15
Like you wanna, you wouldn't want to hold hands with her.
43:17
You know what I'm saying?
43:19
Uh no, she was pretty p she just was, she was too out there.
43:23
You know what I mean?
43:24
She already did some crazy stuff at a, at a house party that
43:27
And then why would you think it's a good idea to stick your dick
43:29
And I said, you know what?
43:32
I could change her because you know what she was that could
43:38
I was like, she can keep quiet.
43:39
You know what I mean?
43:39
She wouldn't talk about this.
43:41
We, we can make this happen real quick when you were done.
43:43
Did you go back into the bleachers?
43:44
Just watch the game?
43:45
Like, like nothing happened like nothing happened, dude
43:49
I walked in, I was like, oh and I was just like I can look in the
43:52
walk by and I like you highlights.
43:57
He's 17 years old smoking a cigarette.
44:00
I just what's going on?
44:03
This is a high school baby.
44:05
You guys never had a weird high school moment like that.
44:10
I mean, because I feel like you were in health class and you
44:13
hearing all the bad things.
44:14
First of all, I would never put myself in.
44:15
We were P Council Christian growing up.
44:17
So I was a virgin until 19.
44:19
I was a virgin until I was 18.
44:22
Oh, sorry for me being out here, sorry for me experiencing
44:30
I didn't have a game in high school.
44:32
Oh sh what is your game?
44:34
What kind of game did you have, bro?
44:36
II, I like there's a party.
44:39
I always stand by the window like I'm gonna like, I'm gonna
44:42
jump out and um let me tell you something dog if I'm at a party
44:48
and I see Felipe in the corner and I'm like, what is he thinking
44:51
I start like this and I get girls who I got, who got hurt someone
44:56
I hurt or somebody what's going on, man?
44:58
You know what he as you pretend.
45:01
I'm sad and suicidal.
45:08
I can see like the girls just like, I don't know what to do.
45:11
I think he's just like, you know what you should do.
45:15
Why do you like here by yourself?
45:17
I would be the kind of guy that if I'm talking to somebody, somebody
45:21
with more confidence because you just go in and start talking
45:25
to the girl and make out with her and the girl would be ok with
45:28
You know, like somebody gets sloppy seconds.
45:31
I was more like sloppy force like the girl made out with this
45:36
guy and she went to go stay with her husband and then said, I'll
45:41
And I waited, you're waiting in the car and I waited and she
45:46
came back but she came back.
45:47
Hey, you ever had like a hot ass girl that you were like, you
45:51
couldn't believe what was happening.
45:52
You're like, why is this happening right now?
45:55
But there's something usually when that happens, something
45:57
does happen like she's missing right boob or something, part
46:01
of her hair comes off.
46:03
Oh She has a wild story.
46:05
You know, like I saw this a crazy story like I had a room in Montevallo
46:09
wild coyotes and this woman, I saw her at a show with another
46:13
woman and they were talking, you know, we're drinking and
46:16
she's laughing and then I'm, I'm, we're digging each other's
46:20
She said, I'm so happy right now.
46:22
Who, what do you mean?
46:23
Oh man, I just beat a murder case.
46:26
Fuck I'm out, right?
46:29
And you still kept talking, well, let's stay in the bathroom
46:36
But now, man, I was just nothing happened, bro.
46:39
I saw her later on go with a bunch of bikers.
46:41
I thought they were wild, bro.
46:43
Like, like just today was the day that she beat a murder kid
46:46
Like she was here party like, oh, like you got away with it.
46:49
You know, it's funny how you made that crazy, that kind of people
46:57
But that's a good story.
46:58
But things like that like will spook the normal person.
47:00
Is it because like was your upbringing like a little like you
47:03
like you, like my dad was drinking in the house and he was drinking
47:09
and I'm not the only one that's there like 910, bro fucking
47:12
drinking a little chocolate milk.
47:14
And we're watching the news and my dad's vent to me like I'm
47:16
a grown guy like, oh man, this fucking job sucks.
47:24
I should have never had a family.
47:27
You, your wife fucking killing your mom.
47:30
And then, and I'm like, no, bro.
47:32
Like I gotta go to sleep thinking about this and something
47:34
like this, this life sucks.
47:38
Then I would go to, I will go to school like you do your homework
47:41
I'm trying to solve my dad's world problems.
47:46
Oh my God, we're gonna switch gears real quick.
47:48
We're gonna go to my favorite segment called Pero Cara.
47:50
That's where the listeners they write in uh questions and
47:53
we try to give them advice.
47:54
Uh Again, we are not professionals.
47:56
So if we mess up your life, you Yeah.
48:05
I'm currently dealing with a four year old who's turned into
48:07
a snack hoarder last week at the movies.
48:10
He pulled out three chicken nuggets from his pocket.
48:12
Totally embarrassing.
48:13
My wife and I in front of the employees.
48:17
Please let me tell you, bro, you start hiding your weed in better
48:23
Your son is smoking pot already and fucking munchies.
48:28
I don't know how the kid is embarrassing.
48:30
That's what you should be doing, especially if you're trying
48:32
You wanna sneak in a couple snacks.
48:34
So that way you're not spending $15 for a f it's like fucking
48:39
sneaking in candies.
48:40
Like if it was drugs, you know what I mean?
48:42
My mom was like, he was even making holes in the shoe and shit
48:45
just making sure fucking I a whole chocolate bar like no mom
48:47
it's not that serious.
48:49
What's the fattest thing you ever smoke?
48:51
I think it was a Torta.
48:53
A Torta was tough and, and I, and I had to put it right here in
48:57
my, like in my thighs because they were big and it looked like
48:59
I've been fucking doing squats all day.
49:01
So I was eight years old.
49:03
You know what I mean?
49:04
With these slip pants?
49:05
I recently took my kids to the movies and I snug in the M and MS
49:08
and my kids were like, wow, that's crazy.
49:10
My wife was in ma like, she was like, wow, you sneaking in candy
49:13
I'm like, yo, my mother used to sneak in food, Chinese food
49:17
Like I remember she would open up the, the fried rice and fried
49:21
Me and we'd just be watching a movie with a full meal.
49:25
It would get, the theater would get quiet and my mom would just
49:28
sit in the back with a coke.
49:29
Nobody had a fucking damn cold.
49:31
What you, what you thinking?
49:32
What's the biggest thing?
49:33
Oh, big foot long from subway sandwich?
49:37
And it was cooked too, bro.
49:39
So everybody could smile.
49:42
I was trying to balance it.
49:43
I was trying to dip it right here.
49:44
My ranch dude, that, that used to be the funny thing like you'd
49:49
have the meal and then you hear somebody like, yo, what is that
49:51
That smells delicious.
49:52
You're like, oh, where they sell that at?
49:56
Well, thank you fully.
49:57
Thank you for coming through, man.
50:03
Thanks for having me, man.
50:04
Find me at uh Felipe's world.com at the What's so food podcast
50:09
Super funny dude, man.
50:10
He's got specials out on Netflix, man.
50:14
Thank you so much, dude.
50:14
Thank you f thank you, Eric.
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