00:00
I used to do this thing where I would like sit in a plastic bag
00:02
and then I would like put dirt in it and then tie it and then just
00:05
swing it in the air and then throw it and just, just, just to
00:11
You put it in the microwave too.
00:21
Welcome back to three G season two babies and girls.
00:30
I'm Sasha Mercy Suso in the building.
00:33
And Eric Rivera here, I'm excited.
00:34
We're about to have a dope ass show today.
00:42
And you know, we all love to start the show with our favorite
00:57
So a fan went to a Philadelphia Phillies game.
01:00
They tried to bring his support animal, his emotional support
01:02
animal, which happened to be an alligator named Wally, which
01:06
Wally is on Instagram and he's blowing up.
01:09
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
01:10
Is the Wally is his teeth like shaved off?
01:13
No, he's a legit alligator on a leash.
01:15
The alligator is your pet.
01:17
He's gotta have grandpa teeth, the grandma teeth like he has
01:20
to have them gums like he can't have them teeth.
01:24
That's no, he got a legit teeth and I don't know how this thing
01:28
This should make me nervous.
01:30
How did that happen?
01:32
Humans been making every animal.
01:34
White people growing up.
01:36
Did you, did your, did your relatives have support animals
01:40
No, we were the support animals.
01:44
You look like kisses in the mouth.
01:47
My, my pet Charles, his name is Charlie.
01:51
He's a little rascal that looks like a leather bag.
01:54
If you ask me leather bag that can't even be comfortable.
01:59
Like you just the pattern on the alligator is kinda, yeah,
02:08
I wouldn't mind wearing them.
02:09
I wouldn't mind wearing gonna make them boots.
02:13
He would have been a boo by now.
02:19
It's kind of cute though.
02:21
It's a kind of cute alligator like he's a little soft in the
02:24
Yo, that, that, that fucking alligator look like he need a
02:26
helmet, but I don't understand this.
02:30
That's what I'm saying.
02:31
He don't look like and he over here like just all I think about
02:35
is a gator with a Gucci suit with the Gucci suit that I, I just
02:46
don't understand there's this whole trend where these people
02:48
have to bring their animals everywhere.
02:49
Like I see them at restaurants, see them at the supermarket
02:52
Like what's the OK, so what would be your wild fucking animal
02:55
you would bring like to you, what is your alligator if I have
02:59
any, I'd have monkey, dude, monkey.
03:03
Like you look like you wouldn't have a monkey.
03:10
What would be your ex?
03:11
You, you look like you want a tiger?
03:13
So you go like, yeah, that's what would be your exotic Michael
03:16
Jackson is a monkey.
03:18
No, I would have a fucking lion.
03:28
I'm, I'm talking about some hard shit.
03:31
It wasn't even, what you said is the way you delivered it.
03:35
It was like, I would have a lawyer because that's man.
03:41
You want me to read to you?
03:42
You got a cat in the, you know, you can be kicking out.
03:45
I have a al a lion is fucking hard, bro.
03:49
So you'd be like Joe Exotic, like the lion king symbol, then
03:54
So like you get Joe exotic, Joe exotic, like he had the little
04:00
What's your wild animal?
04:01
It wouldn't even be that big.
04:02
It'll be like the small little monkeys that I thought he was
04:05
like, you know what?
04:07
Just a small little uh Brazilian monkeys that they're like
04:11
They're, yeah, they're supposedly like, they're all over
04:13
the place in Brazil and they're this little, it's like a Marmoset
04:17
I think it's called a Marmoset.
04:20
A Brazilian monkey monkeys, monkeys.
04:24
They're the cutest little thing.
04:25
They're like a mama set, I think.
04:31
That's what you want right there.
04:33
Look how little they are.
04:35
It's like me when I'm old.
04:37
You know what I mean?
04:38
That's me every morning.
04:40
That's me taking a, that's me with this, with this sweater
04:43
Like they killed that monkey and made it that sweater for Jesus
04:47
I beat you on a joke.
04:48
I beat you on a joke.
04:49
I, I knew you were going after me.
04:56
Have you guys watched the show?
04:57
You, you told me a little bit about it and I was like, I don't
05:01
So you dude, first of all, my wife, my wife went to London to
05:08
a wedding and she's just scanning the channels and all of a
05:12
sudden she's like channel four.
05:13
She sees six Dons in a row and she's like, hold on, like actual
05:20
That's how London does it.
05:21
So it's a show in London.
05:22
Circumcised or uncircumcised.
05:24
So it's a little bit of both.
05:25
They're showing this showing, they're showing this show
05:31
they showing, they're showing everything.
05:33
So, so if you, let's say you're single, you go on the show, hey
05:36
you tell them what you like and then they'll have six squares
05:39
first of all, it be, it won't be.
05:42
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
05:43
They'll have six boxes first round they, they raise up the
05:47
So you're, you're basing it on vine and you'd be basing it on
05:50
Don, you just, well, it does, it start off with toes or straight
05:54
It goes straight to the privates to it, man.
05:59
So you see girls walking up to Don's like this one's a little
06:02
t like see that, that's what they see.
06:03
You see the six guys or you would see the six girls and then you
06:07
just based on just privates, you pick your, that's, you eliminate
06:11
someone on that first round.
06:12
Let me tell you something, right?
06:13
If I'm showing dick, it's gonna be hard.
06:16
I'm gonna tell you now I ain't showing, I'm showing you.
06:20
I ain't showing you this.
06:22
I'm showing you that buddy.
06:24
They're on a set is cold and these dudes are out there.
06:28
Some of them are just, oh really out there and I'm just like
06:31
yo, you gotta have a whole different level.
06:34
So have you seen it without it, without, without the blurb
06:38
It's on HBO Max right now or whatever they call it, but yes,
06:42
not only has he seen it?
06:43
He screenshotted it.
06:44
He's like I wanna say this.
06:49
So the episode one, season one, this dude had the confidence
06:53
to get that tattoo on his dog.
06:55
No, mama, that's a fucking tattoo.
06:58
And so his thing is the trunk also.
07:03
I mean, that's how that is kind of you gotta think about it is
07:07
The trunk can I just say I haven't seen you smile like this showed
07:12
up and honestly, am I thinking about it?
07:15
You know, I might want to get like a marker.
07:17
It is, I can just like watch it.
07:19
You realize you not only does he have the confidence to be on
07:22
national television with it out.
07:23
He had to sit in a tattoo chair like this.
07:27
If you guys had to get a tattoo right above Showtime, what would
07:31
you get if you had to get a tattoo over your pros?
07:33
What would it be a lifesaver?
07:44
If you want, I wanna read you.
07:46
That was, that was a funny, I wanna read you.
07:48
That was a good one.
07:51
I'm gonna just put a bow on it because it's the gift that keeps
07:53
on giving the gift that keeps on giving.
08:01
Look at a subway logo, the sandwich.
08:03
You know, what the hell did you see that?
08:11
You know what I mean?
08:12
It is the dating show.
08:14
Why we gotta get Liam, our producer on this dating show.
08:16
I know he's out there dating.
08:17
I'm gonna watch the, the, the, also the other thing, if you
08:21
if you're on looking for dates at the, the, the final round
08:24
you have to get naked with them.
08:25
So you both look at each other naked so that the pair, the girls
08:29
Oh, yeah, I'm talking about, how many times have you been in
08:32
a situation where I, OK, you find that person is attractive
08:35
with all the clothes and then you fall in love with them and
08:37
then finally they're naked.
08:38
You're like, well, we're already here, you know, like I'm
08:40
already in love with you.
08:41
But, but, but if it started off first, you looking at their
08:46
privates and all that stuff, you probably wouldn't have gone
08:48
as far as getting to know the person.
08:50
But me and my girl, we were like we were first talking one time
08:53
I was like she Facetimed me, you know, like face time was like
08:57
She Facetimed me that I was about to jump in the shower.
08:59
I was trying to be like, yo, I'm about to jump in the shower.
09:01
My phone falls the angle that it falls on.
09:05
It was like she was, she saw this spot, this area, this spot
09:12
All of that, that was the, the danger zone.
09:15
She, she said that when she saw that and she tried to act like
09:21
But I could tell for a week she was being a little like she was
09:24
making, I feel very little.
09:26
She just felt like I'm not gonna lie.
09:27
That shit, kinda fucked me up a little bit that way.
09:30
She was looking down at the ground because this was a, this
09:34
is not an attractive spot.
09:35
By the way, it's not, it's not like ma male penises is not something
09:39
that women think and go oh my God, this is the most attractive
09:41
thing ever but it's not just the, the male penis.
09:43
It's this little area of just this pocket of, of wild things
09:48
are, you know what I'm saying?
09:49
Just, it's a jungle down there.
09:51
You know what I'm saying?
09:56
Does it take you a while to say I love you.
09:58
Were you one of those when you dated?
10:01
No, no, not your wife, your wife.
10:07
What other relationships were?
10:09
I feel you're quick to be like I love you.
10:11
I'm sorry what we just met.
10:13
I'm sorry, I didn't you feel like the I like I love you guys.
10:19
He said I have Yeah.
10:27
I don't say I love you like that.
10:28
Do you say I love you?
10:29
I'm gonna tell you that.
10:31
You strike me as on the podcast.
10:33
You very like, yeah, you crazy.
10:34
You strike me as at home, at home.
10:40
He like he don't even look at his.
10:41
Don't talk to my woman like that.
10:42
But at home he like it either.
10:44
What can I do for you?
10:45
I'll do whatever you want me to do.
10:47
The podcast is the only time I can speak.
10:50
I take advantage when I'm here because I'm at home.
10:52
I'm just like, can you keep it down?
10:54
I'm like, all right.
10:57
No, it takes me a while for, for me to say I love you.
11:00
I mean, but how do you feel now?
11:01
You'd be saying I love you now.
11:02
Yeah, because yeah, for sure.
11:07
You know, once you hit thirties, I got the mamas say I love you
11:10
You know, I mean, twenties, you're like, you're prized in
11:13
the way I can't say it.
11:14
You know, I would get excited in my twenties.
11:17
I would get excited when my girl would call me and stuff like
11:19
that and my girlfriend at the time, she would just call you
11:21
just like, oh, but when I answered love, you know what I mean
11:25
You act like you don't care but you do care.
11:27
That's twenties baby.
11:29
I'm not quick to say I love you.
11:30
Who said I love you first?
11:31
You're man or you when you have to say no, no, no, no, I definitely
11:41
I think we said it at the same time.
11:43
I got, I'm gonna tell you something.
11:46
I think at the same time, 12, I got OJ, first of all, he's not
11:54
Why you keep having him sound like Liam Hemsworth because
12:02
I'm excited for this episode.
12:03
When we come back, we have Alfred Robles in the building.
12:06
You don't want to miss it.
12:09
I felt like Oscar was beating up my dad.
12:12
Yeah, and we are back and we've got a special guest joining
12:18
us here at three G's, you know him, you love him, comedian headliner
12:34
Thank you guys for having me, man.
12:35
Like the hat, you know, he's making money.
12:38
Is that what that is?
12:41
It looks like Mommy, I'm taking it back to the nineties, bro
12:44
Was that a thing in the nineties?
12:46
Velvet was big in the nineties with the FP.
12:54
And the old G fucking shirt.
12:55
That's a sick ass fucking throwback right there.
13:00
Who are you going with?
13:01
Oh I was going, I was going for Oscar all the old time, old heads
13:10
It felt like you were going after your parents at that fight
13:13
because he was like new generation and the old generation
13:15
It was like, I felt like Oscar was beating up my dad.
13:28
What's, what's been going on with you, man.
13:30
I've been good, dude.
13:31
I've just been uh touring by myself now a days.
13:36
Now I have a manager and an agent, a call just to call.
13:41
How are you guys doing?
13:42
I'm just calling to say what's up?
13:45
I also have a manager and agent and I call them my uh my girl and
13:51
All right, I'll get better relax.
13:53
We're just starting up, we're warming up but as you guys know
14:00
right now we in the fall if you can't tell by our outfits, did
14:11
So that can only be one thing for all the white women watching
14:14
pumpkin spice season.
14:22
I'm down with pumpkin spice.
14:25
I'm cool with it but it's starting to get a little carried away
14:28
like we don't have to put pumpkin spice in everything like
14:31
pumpkin spice latte, a pumpkin spice cake cool and I was like
14:34
oh we got pumpkin spice toilet paper.
14:36
You're like all right.
14:37
Pumpkin spice is popping right now like we like your pumpkin
14:41
Here's some products right now.
14:42
They're going pumpkin spice they're like ok I didn't even
14:45
know we needed this pumpkin spice latte made out of oat milk
14:55
Yeah yeah yeah I'll get that I get that pump pie pop tarts because
14:59
I'm not a pop tart guy so I'll say no to that because it's just
15:03
gonna be too like sugary like yeah this is reminds me of that
15:07
white kid in class with like smelly armpits.
15:12
Yeah, I like that, bro.
15:19
We got some pump and marshmallows for your hot chocolate and
15:25
I feel like you can find that.
15:26
I thought you would find that at like the 99 cent store all year
15:33
That's a family dollar fucking fine right there.
15:43
It really like car top.
15:45
This is the I spice will punk you.
15:47
You know what I mean?
15:48
You can handle that girl.
15:50
She would definitely call you a munch.
15:52
That's a bronco right there.
15:53
You can, you can't write that.
15:54
I'm down with her too.
15:59
Like do I, I'm down with the cheese one cheese.
16:04
Look at the people eat Doritos.
16:05
So and they be munching on it.
16:08
Pumpkin spice and banana.
16:14
There gotta be some meat in it though.
16:15
Like for me to like be halfway sold like some like slow cooked
16:18
short ribs and then a little bit of like pumpkin.
16:22
I feel like it taste like the apple pie from mcdonald's cream
16:28
I'm down on this one.
16:31
I feel like white people trying.
16:34
That's, that's cultural appropriation.
16:39
It's almost like have you got like I, I went to one restaurant
16:42
they had uh guacamole, they put pomegranates on.
16:44
I was like, what are we doing here?
16:45
Hey, what's going on?
16:46
That's our last was it?
16:48
I thought I was, we were gonna see like something else.
16:51
Like, I don't know, like a pumpkin pumpkin dildo or something
16:58
with a little woman Squire pumpkin Dy.
17:01
What is going on with Sasha today?
17:03
We got company a pumpkin Sasha.
17:06
That's a, that's a scratch and sniff if you want to smell it
17:15
I just learned how to swim, bro.
17:19
I don't know how to drive.
17:21
So that people there's no driving thing.
17:24
You're the only one do you want, you just don't want to drive
17:29
I just get driven because I'll be bagging these dudes.
17:33
She gets driven, you know, pretty girl problems.
17:35
You know what I'm saying?
17:39
Learn how to swim this.
17:40
You can't be this old and just fucking die from swimming.
17:43
You can't be this old floating in the pool.
17:49
How do you die f fucking got shot.
17:51
I know what happened.
17:53
No, he just swam and couldn't handle it.
17:57
It, it took me three months to learn, you know.
18:02
My dad also, they didn't know what to do and he tried to learn
18:05
it and pick it up at an old age and it was just the funniest thing
18:08
to look at was skating.
18:10
Like, like skates, not like skateboard or ski.
18:13
It's skates, literally.
18:15
He's just like but it was so funny cause like my dad was trying
18:18
to learn, we're trying to teach him but then he'll be like he
18:21
turned into like your dad, you know what I mean?
18:23
At first he's like come on LA uh And then he'll get mad that he's
18:26
fucking up, he'll get mad at me for him fucking up.
18:29
II I was, I wasn't like you're on your own.
18:31
This is I'm all the way over here.
18:33
It had nothing to do with you fucking falling right now.
18:35
Now, were you, were you being that ass kid?
18:37
Just like what's up dad?
18:40
Cause he's on the rails this year.
18:44
Keep bubble man backwards.
18:47
Come on, I can, I can take you to then you start, you cross the
18:51
border but you can't skate for doing little circles and shit
18:58
So old school traits.
18:59
What's something that you still haven't picked up?
19:08
But why would you wanna learn how to skate though?
19:11
Like I don't think you need that in life.
19:12
I know I don't, you don't need it, you know, you don't, you really
19:15
don't but kind of you know like just in case you like you, you
19:19
you know the fuss is about.
19:22
Yeah, I wanna know what the rush somewhere.
19:23
You gotta lace up skates emergency, hold on, hold on, hold
19:31
Some home alone shit.
19:33
Something that I want to pick up now, Eric is like perfect in
19:42
Everybody's, I don't know, I sweat buddy.
19:45
I was a high school swim team.
19:47
Of course you were, he was the one that brought Speedo.
19:49
Everybody brought no more short.
19:55
I'm gonna tell you now.
19:56
So I joined uh I went for the trials to swim team and fucking
20:00
I'm, I'm, I was a strong swimmer and then they showed the uniform
20:03
They're like, all right.
20:03
So this is all, you know what?
20:04
And I was like, no, I'm out and I was, and I quit, I was like, I
20:08
saw the Speedo and I was like, no, I can't do it.
20:10
What's the diff difference between a fast swimmer and a strong
20:17
So I don't know what that means.
20:20
I just learn how to molecules of the water to me.
20:31
If I was on the swim team, I'm gonna strong because I don't have
20:33
the length like, like Michael Phelps is a six two dude and he
20:39
So I have to, I, I have to peddle, I have to struggle a lot faster
20:42
and stronger than to keep up with him.
20:44
I'm a stronger swimmer because I gotta keep up.
20:46
So that doesn't make it a fast swimmer.
20:48
No, not necessarily.
20:49
So you like be doggy paddling because you take a dude who's
20:52
like something, it takes, he fucked me up there too.
20:56
I gotta go strong because I gotta catch up.
20:57
Well, that fucking fast.
21:01
My girl is a strong walker because she got a little feet.
21:04
It's not a speeding ticket.
21:05
It's a strong, it's a strong dog.
21:07
Try to catch it to the fucking speed.
21:10
I got, I got, I got a four cylinder.
21:12
Come on the, my, my thing with swimming is that I like to like
21:15
go underwater and just hold my breath and just like, like
21:19
act like I'm drowning just to, to see who cares.
21:25
Listen to Nick and just to know what it feels like to drown.
21:30
Like, imagine someone if I drown right now I'd be crazy.
21:32
And then, and I'll just try to go out and then he comes up to see
21:35
Nobody could have been drowned every time I pop up.
21:41
Yeah, I feel like the world is happier when I'm down there.
21:44
Hey, do you do this when you go?
21:47
Hey, do you do this when you go and get the water?
21:51
Why do people do that?
21:51
I don't know why people do that.
21:52
Do you guys cover your nose to this?
21:55
Because all the water goes inside.
21:59
All you gotta do is this.
22:02
So now that I know how to swim I was doing, but before I used to
22:05
do it, bro, I don't know why though.
22:08
II, I guess because I saw you close your eyes too.
22:12
Do you open your eyes in the, in the, in the under the, I'd say
22:15
I was on the swim team.
22:16
I could do all of it.
22:17
Are you, are you underwater with no goggles and just thug life
22:25
I didn't think you had that in you.
22:33
Not only do I, not only do I do wall flips but I also run on the
22:36
side and feel like I'm in the matrix and I love that shit for
22:43
You have to pee in the pool 100%.
22:45
I'm I'm Mr pee in the pool.
22:47
I love the pee in the pool.
22:49
You over to my house to swim now you, you, you always gonna invite
22:55
us in our listen baby, I'm blessing the pool.
22:57
You know what I'm saying?
23:00
And your name is Jesus.
23:01
A walk of water baby.
23:06
Imagine like walk of water and pee like you know, but I will
23:12
I always like being in the pool like it like you're so free
23:16
to say that but you won't take a shit in the public bathroom
23:18
because that's you don't take shit to the bathroom.
23:27
If you have to take a shit, you gotta pick a bathroom where you
23:32
You have to think these things.
23:35
What shit would I go take at a public bath?
23:37
I'm gonna tell you now, I'll tell you right now.
23:39
Uh It'll either be like, uh, it'll probably be like, uh Starbucks
23:46
What do homeless people taking showers?
23:49
Like I would do it at like a fucking, uh, Panera bread.
23:56
My number one spot, Macy's Nordstrom bathrooms.
24:01
Are they, do you find a Nordstrom?
24:05
It's like a sitting room inside a I should have.
24:19
You're that guy when I'm at the store.
24:21
I was like, why is the thinking of shit right now?
24:24
Iii I could shit everywhere.
24:28
My ex girlfriend was the type that she couldn't uh shit everywhere
24:31
Then she used to blame it on me because we'll drive, we'll be
24:34
driving, hurry up, drive faster.
24:36
I need to use the restroom.
24:38
We passed everything.
24:39
You don't blame that shit on me.
24:42
Don't blame that shit.
24:44
Don't blame the shit on me.
24:47
But no, when I'm thinking back now I was a kid.
24:50
I used to shit outside.
24:51
I like, like I used to shit from sitting everywhere to like
24:54
I used to do this thing where I would like shit in a plastic bag
24:57
and then I would like put dirt in it and then tie it and then just
25:00
swing it in the air and then throw it and just, just, just to
25:04
What the fuck it explode?
25:06
You put it in the microwave too.
25:08
Like I would grab it and spin in the air.
25:09
Throw it up and because I put sand and rocks in it, it's like
25:12
it's because it's tight.
25:13
Like I, I twist it to where like one more twist is gonna, you
25:16
know, so then you tie it and then you throw it in the air and then
25:21
in the middle of the street when it comes down the fourth of
25:29
Did your parents not buy, like did your parents not buy you
25:34
Did you have a child?
25:41
Yeah, dude, I used to fucking put a little treasure spots.
25:44
You Tucson's, what is that supposed to be?
25:48
I used to be on my bike and put a little fucking little treasure
25:51
We make a hole in the fucking dig it up.
25:54
I just feel like you're making that.
25:58
I'm like, I can't take this shit nowhere to like any, any hole
26:01
in the world because I went from shit was the thing to do.
26:06
I thought, all right, keep it moving now.
26:08
I'm more like uh I'm at ease.
26:12
I think viewers, I think it's time to shift gears here.
26:20
So we're, we're about to play a little game on Spotify every
26:25
Uh and we get to see everybody's playlist like, oh, I listen
26:28
to this many hours of Drake.
26:29
I listen to this many hours of Taylor Swift.
26:30
Well, today we're breaking down insights that matter by one
26:32
of the most internet's most notorious platforms, porn hub
26:37
We're gonna find out what each state is searching.
26:41
Uh We'll start with, you know, let's, let's, let's try to guess
26:44
Uh Jesus's home state of Arizona.
26:46
Uh Asian porn, Asian.
26:48
Oh I like me some Asian.
26:49
That might be it after jesus' story.
26:50
I must say shit porn.
26:52
Hey, hey, sounds dirty.
26:55
Two girls and one cup.
27:00
That's what look Arizona need a shower bags.
27:06
Shower sex is always, I hate shower sex.
27:13
I'm down with shower sex.
27:15
It's always uncomfortable.
27:16
That's when I know like adulthood was a lie because in the movies
27:19
there's always sensual and always like, oh it's gonna be super
27:22
lo lo man, it's just dry and fucking, you can't get a good grip
27:28
and there's always that weird pocket where it like spices
27:32
Because for me it's because like when, when you have car sex
27:35
it's always uncomfortable for the guys and then when you
27:38
have shower sex, it's more uncomfortable for the girls.
27:48
It was for you in the car.
27:50
Eric likes to lay down and have her up.
27:55
Eric is the one getting hit in the head.
27:57
Eric, what are you talking about?
28:04
And mine's home state of New York.
28:08
Uh, sewer, sex, sewer sex.
28:11
I don't know, outdoor stuff, outdoors.
28:22
What do you think is the number one source in Texas?
28:29
Little people, little missionary panties panties.
28:35
Well, Texas look like they be smelling, you know, they, like
28:37
they like the smell panties.
28:42
I was kind of close.
28:47
The fact that it says big black ass for North Carolina is crazy
28:52
Uh What's pegging before the first time?
29:03
I heard it before we describe it.
29:04
He says, what do you think pegging is?
29:07
What do you, what do you think it is?
29:09
Uh pegging to me feels like when an older guy is fucking a younger
29:14
girl, he's pegging like it's I, I don't know that to me it feels
29:17
like an old man fucking a 20 year old.
29:22
This is why this is why because it sounds small like a, you know
29:26
little, you know, younger person pegging sweet cute and
29:30
an older guy just fucking taking over.
29:33
But you're pegging, you're pegging, right?
29:35
But there's, there's small, there's older guys that are small
29:38
They don't have to be old.
29:40
I'm talking a Baby Aids and I feel like I feel like we should
29:46
tell them what it is.
29:49
I know what it is because I, I kind of don't know what the fuck
29:55
I think it's like fucking 50.
29:59
0 I switched it to 50.
30:02
If I didn't know what it was, it would just sound like, you know
30:05
somebody with a wooden leg fucking you like taking a wooden
30:09
leg and just fucking you with their wooden leg, A leg.
30:12
I've just seen a lot of porn with hot ass girls and older dudes
30:15
So I'm always like, is this like a thing?
30:16
What would that be called?
30:17
I'm like, it would probably be called p and who?
30:20
What state is this before?
30:21
I tell him what it is.
30:26
What, what, what's that?
30:29
That's Wisconsin fucking put some respect on, put some respect
30:33
on that pegging is when a woman wears a strap on and fucks a guy
30:38
Who wait, wait, hold up, wait, wait, wait, the girl has a strap
30:44
on and what's the guy doing?
30:50
Enjoying the I think he's doing his taxes.
30:56
So he, well then why, why have a dick?
30:59
Because where is this dick gonna go?
31:01
It's gotta fuck something too on his dick is just taking a break
31:07
Fuck, fucking break.
31:09
Well, do you know that like most men's G spot is in their butt
31:13
We heard about the G spot.
31:14
So guys out there like when the girl's fucking them and it's
31:20
not, it's not because it's a girl.
31:22
It's not, it's not a gay because it's a girl fucking them.
31:25
Hey, have you ever gay right now?
31:28
Have you ever used a bidet?
31:30
I heard about the bidet and I wouldn't mind a bidet.
31:33
You see a bidet is fine.
31:35
That's like the first day.
31:36
But if I got, ay, that's the first step.
31:38
If I got a veiny D though in my ass.
31:41
I do have some questions about some of these uh Alaska.
31:46
You get paid a lot of money for that too.
31:48
What is breast expansion?
31:53
It's a fictional sexual fetish of watching a woman's breast
32:00
So it was like a, you just watching?
32:06
I just learned what that was.
32:09
Cream pie is pretty fucking crazy.
32:11
Can we talk about South Carolina?
32:12
What is going on out there?
32:22
If you're in South Carolina, what's happening out there?
32:24
But it could be grandma or grandpa.
32:30
You got the step mom.
32:31
You got the furries.
32:31
You know what the furries are?
32:34
As animals and fur smoking.
32:37
What animal would you be like?
32:46
I'll be, I'll be a lion king.
32:48
I didn't say it like that.
32:54
I'll be, I don't know, I'll just be a little, I'll be a putty
32:59
I don't know, a dog, a cat, a dog, I'll be a dog.
33:06
The thing is Alfred loves cats.
33:09
But now he's a dog, I'll be a dog.
33:11
Give us the explanation why dog, dog stuff for the, for the
33:19
Because I never see cats have sex, bro.
33:23
I hear it but I've never seen like it's called, it's called
33:26
That's what cats do the necks and shit.
33:29
I never heard someone say I got a sty because I was watching
33:36
I can't believe I tell you, I can't like cats.
33:41
No, my girl has a cat, a cat.
33:44
Uh We were doing the show and he was man, fuck cats.
33:48
You're gonna love your cat, bro.
33:50
You're gonna say fuck cats now, but you're gonna cats and then
33:53
he comes back two weeks later or a month later.
33:55
You were right fool.
33:56
I, I fuck, I like the cat because this is what I, what did I say
34:06
I had a good day whiskers.
34:09
I kicked that cat in those three weeks.
34:12
I figured out I like that.
34:16
R did his own thing.
34:17
So I respected that.
34:18
But then I started becoming needy again and I said this motherfucker
34:21
doesn't give me attention.
34:23
Why would the cat give you attention?
34:25
Because I need the attention goes home.
34:27
Puts park, drink some white wine and pets his cat.
34:30
So I can wish in the pool to see if anybody, if he's drowning
34:36
So mind your business.
34:37
And now we are in our favorite segment called Y Corny.
34:44
You're calling, you're calling it right now.
34:47
We're calling the sneakers out Corny.
34:50
You're corny because y'all be saying that y'all gonna be gonna
34:52
be doing some uh giveaways and y'all don't, I've never seen
34:56
anybody win a pair of sneakers.
34:58
You want a pair of sneakers?
34:59
I wake up, I listen, I wake up early in the morning, talk your
35:02
shit early in the morning, your shit to enter drawers and to
35:07
So I start my day off with a loss.
35:10
What time do you wake up?
35:12
The, the drops are usually at 7 a.m. So you gotta be up at like
35:16
Is it like 7 a.m. eastern time?
35:19
So eastern coast, 10 a.m. 16, they've already had their coffee
35:24
They're already feeling good about themselves.
35:25
I wake up to feel let down.
35:28
You're the type of guy that won't wake up early to take your
35:31
But for the, for the shoes, he's iress after the day I wake up
35:37
and I make the breakfast.
35:38
They're like dad's in a good mood or he's in a bad mood because
35:41
So, uh, by the way, if we have any sneaker plugs out there, hook
35:44
us up three Gs for real, you can use the wearing the same sneakers
35:48
in four episodes already.
35:49
We'll give you, we'll give you a nice little shout out and show
35:55
But uh but that's funny because uh we just told them that they're
35:57
corny, corny, corny man.
36:03
They, they give you uh the hopes up.
36:06
You see when you see the little thing, it's like we're getting
36:08
in line and you know what pisses me off.
36:12
The people that do win don't deserve the shoe because they're
36:15
not like the thousands of shoes around or, or they don't even
36:18
know what they want.
36:19
I think I, I think I got something cool today.
36:21
I'm like, bitch, why did you even remember the Jay?
36:23
The ones came out the fucking this girl that doesn't even like
36:27
Well, I, I wonder too because you know how they were talking
36:30
about at one point that they use A I to like um they use bots,
36:35
So I wonder if they put bots in the raffle.
36:37
Have you guys ever like, you know how when someone gets here
36:39
they have that little Gotham thing.
36:40
Have you guys ever screenshot it?
36:42
And put it up on your story.
36:43
Like if you just for the for the you can get the likes you.
36:49
But yeah, Snicker app, you're corny.
36:51
You're corny corny also.
36:53
We, we usually don't do this.
36:54
We had a runner up for the You Corny Award.
37:05
By the way she put on it.
37:10
Don't listen to him, don't listen to a queen.
37:14
You right now that's how y'all tell me y'all dirty, all of y'all
37:24
y'all corn you corn with a little corny.
37:32
Now, I know why you're able to use the restroom anywhere.
37:38
You can't go to the public my camera out next week.
37:46
So I said that's what you'll be doing.
37:48
I've been, I've been wearing the same outfit now for, for,
37:54
What happened was II I actually put on the outfit today like
38:00
yo, I haven't worn this outfit.
38:03
Then I get to the green room and I'm getting my make up done and
38:06
I'm looking at the screen and I had the same outfit, well, with
38:09
black slippers, right?
38:11
And then Homeboy is like, but didn't you go to a party with that
38:17
And then we showed on that episode too that we never even and
38:19
then they had the cooking episode and I had the same outfit
38:24
and right now I have the same outfit, my God.
38:30
Who got the budget for the wardrobe?
38:31
Ok, because you're corny, you're corny, you're corny.
38:36
Dude, I pulled that shit in middle school.
38:38
What kind of jacket is that?
38:40
That's a puffy jacket.
38:42
I got, I think I got it at uh Urban Outfitters that looks just
38:51
And it was a real quick, we gonna take a quick commercial break
38:54
but when we come back, we got a fun new game called Fast Food
38:58
Listen, we're all comedians.
38:59
We work late, we have a couple of drinks and we make some bad
39:02
choices when it comes to fast food.
39:04
So tonight we're drafting our top three picks for fast food
39:07
It's not the same when you sober feeling good, feeling good
39:11
where we, where we going and then also we got a new PC.
39:20
We are back and welcome to the first ever three G's late night
39:27
And the way that this game works is when you're drunk and you're
39:32
wasted and you just want that fast food fix, right?
39:35
That disgusting food.
39:36
The one that you don't care about your health, you just want
39:38
AAA quick fix, right?
39:41
You have to pick your top three, the restaurant and your order
39:48
All right, you guys got it.
39:50
It's there to soak it up fast food spots for my third pick of
39:56
the late night fast food draft.
39:58
Can I give a, you're right out of my, I'm, I'm gonna give a shout
40:05
out to my east coast.
40:06
I'm gonna do White Castle Crave Case and onion rings.
40:11
You put the onion rings in the little burgers.
40:13
You don't even eat bread.
40:16
You don't eat bread for my second pick.
40:19
Listen, I know culturally you may hate it, but I'm gonna Taco
40:23
Bell get that quesadilla mild sauce.
40:26
Nacho Bell Grande and that Doritos Locos.
40:28
Wow, that's horrible, bro.
40:31
And my number one pick.
40:32
Listen, I'm going with a classic.
40:34
They are everywhere they open late night, 24 hours mcdonald's
40:40
Getting that number one, getting that number one big Mac meal
40:43
And if that ice cream machine is actually working in the Sunday
40:47
chocolate M and M's, that's what's up.
40:50
I know you're a bad bitch now.
40:53
Ok, so the third one that I would choose would be Pizza Pizza
40:58
Uh The late night pizza.
41:00
Yes, you're getting that cheesy breast.
41:03
I'm gonna get the chicken wings with the cheesy bread and then
41:05
I'm gonna get half and half.
41:07
We're gonna get a little bell peppers.
41:10
We're gonna have a little sausages on it.
41:14
My second one is Wendy's four for four.
41:16
Come on and my number one I make D mcdonald's is my number one
41:27
and my order is a number two.
41:30
So it's two cheeseburgers with french fries and that is my
41:33
favorite order every time that I'm leaving anywhere, a club
41:37
I'm leaving a comedy show.
41:40
That's what I'm getting.
41:42
That shit is nostalgic for me.
41:44
I've been eating mcdonald's since I was five years old.
41:47
All three will be anywhere that sells breakfast burritos
41:55
It could be a little lady with a cart outside like I eat it.
41:59
Number two is a spot in Montebello.
42:01
It's called Ari's chili cheese fries with pastrami.
42:04
Wow, that sounds like disco fries in New York.
42:08
And number one, of course.
42:11
And as straight fights off, I wanna party with him whenever
42:23
He just, you know what it is?
42:24
Did he just get wet?
42:27
Uh, number three right now is Jack in the Box.
42:33
Jumbo Jack with the ranch butter cream and some jalapeno poppers
42:40
I've never, I've never seen lick his lips so much.
42:42
What about the tacos at Jack In the Box?
42:44
Not in trash, don't ever, don't ever just bring me like that
43:00
Yeah, I gotta go with that.
43:02
Uh I gotta go with mcdonald's and I do.
43:06
What I do chicken nuggets.
43:07
No, I do, I do mcdole with mac sauce, mcchicken with mac sauce
43:15
and then do another mcdonald's mcdole.
43:17
This is all for you by yourself.
43:20
And with some fries.
43:21
My number one dirty, disgusting.
43:24
It was a drunk man meal.
43:30
Tommy's Tommy's California style double quarter pounder
43:36
What the fuck is this with the chili cheese fries on the side
43:42
And the little chilies?
43:44
The chilli right there with the little, you dip it in the little
43:48
Yo, you know what at Tommy's too.
43:49
You could add an egg to the hamburger too.
43:52
You know your fucking style.
43:52
I like this fucking guy.
43:55
There he is in the morning.
43:57
You won't be sweating and just telling God, please just fuck
44:01
But I'm sorry, I did it.
44:02
But fuck, please give me another chance.
44:05
You know, episode eight, we're gonna see him clutch his chest
44:08
Yo, if you're eating, yo, if you're eating Tommy's me at night
44:11
food, you need a BT and be like, yeah, yo, in the comments below
44:17
make sure you let us know what your fast food order is and we'll
44:31
And we are back with one of my favorite segments called Pero
44:34
And that's where the listeners they send in emails, they send
44:36
in messages D MS and we right here, we uh we try to answer as best
44:40
Alfred, you're gonna help us out.
44:41
Listen, we don't claim to be professional.
44:43
So if our advice sends you down the wrong path, we are sorry
44:48
You corny for listening to us.
44:49
So, Liam, what do we got?
44:53
I'm currently dating my high school sweetheart.
44:55
We've been together for over 10 years, but he's constantly
44:59
trying to add a third person into the relationship.
45:02
I know we need to spice things up, but I'm a little scared that
45:05
adding a third person to the relationship may eventually
45:07
lead to him losing interest in me.
45:10
How can we spice things up without risking our 10 year relationship
45:15
I think you start off slow.
45:17
Bring a toy in first before you bring out another person.
45:22
What kind of toy though?
45:23
Like uh for her or for him?
45:30
Hold on, hold on, hold on because we don't know who wrote that
45:32
It was the guy or girl the girl talking about.
45:36
So, so you bring, you bring, you bring a toy in for her, bro.
45:41
There's like a little massager thing.
45:43
II I think it's called uh Hitachi or hibachi the big dog.
45:59
That's how you start.
46:00
Get a toy first and then boom, I'm telling you, bro.
46:05
That's gonna make your girl.
46:07
So when you bring in the toy, right?
46:09
And then you'd be like, all right.
46:10
So it baby the closet and you bring it up.
46:16
But there's a girl who's into that shit.
46:18
It's like I don't want nothing.
46:19
No, I just wanna have a smash vest.
46:21
I know, but you gotta realize there's gonna be insecurities
46:24
involved like, OK, so if all, here's the scenario, your girl
46:28
goes, let's bring in somebody else and then she brings in a
46:31
dude eight pack just like what's up?
46:34
You're not gonna feel insecure at all.
46:36
She brings a heavy hammer.
46:39
Yeah, that'll be tough.
46:41
So, I mean, I was already jealous if she got up a day, like what's
46:43
going on over there?
46:46
It's on the fastest stream.
46:47
What the fuck is going on here?
46:49
Having another partner is wild.
46:51
I think that's a, that's way too if she wants, what if it's another
46:54
girl, we can talk about how it helps both parties.
47:03
I mean, I'm not gonna lie that man because now you got a lot of
47:12
It depends on, it depends on the couple, right?
47:14
Because from what I've heard, there's people that um from
47:18
what I've heard, like I've spoken to unicorns before and unicorns
47:22
is somebody that like, you know, they're the floaters that
47:24
come in and out of like fucking a couple.
47:27
So like I know a lot about.
47:29
So like there was this girl that she said that she met a couple
47:33
and they were very secure in what they wanted and she knew what
47:38
she was gonna contribute in the threesome.
47:40
So threesomes are not just threesomes, like you have to have
47:43
like an extensive conversation to know like what is off limits
47:49
and what isn't off limits during sex, right?
47:54
So I got in my heartbroken on a threesome.
47:58
You know, I remember like, yes sir.
48:01
It was uh uh we're just, this is like a young and my home we were
48:05
like, fuck this girl's down for both of us.
48:08
And then uh we, we, you know, taking turns and then with me,
48:12
she was very polite with the moan and with him, I don't know
48:15
like really bitch hold up.
48:16
I was giving her the pumps.
48:18
I was giving her the fuck.
48:21
She was just give me this and I was like cool whatever.
48:25
She's respectful and then with him slipped it in.
48:29
Oh my uh huh I'm like, oh I think I think oh my God.
48:34
Oh my God, get the fuck out of here.
48:37
What, what did you say?
48:39
Say it again and say it to my face, say it to my face.
48:44
And the whole time I was like they gonna join it no more.
48:46
I was just crying like man, fuck this.
48:48
I was being like, hey, let's go.
48:50
You see homies with that dude.
48:52
Yeah, we're boys but it's awkward sometimes he's talking
48:54
about I wouldn't be boys without forever.
48:56
He's cut off, he's cut off.
48:57
I mean he did like move from my fucking top five from a myspace
49:01
he went to his, how is it his fault?
49:04
He should have known because he shouldn't have gave us the
49:06
You know, I was, you know what I mean?
49:08
You would give it to her because if it was, you, you wouldn't
49:11
be tight and she was like, uh uh uh to you, you would be like,
49:14
Yeah, because you guess what if, if, if a girl is not moaning
49:17
and my homie hit it and then I come in and she's moaning, I'll
49:20
be like, I see what she's doing.
49:21
I'm not gonna make him feel bad.
49:25
I keep it chill for the homie for the homie.
49:28
He thought about his dick and that girl too.
49:32
Like she's fucking exaggerated.
49:33
Like I can't like, there you go.
49:35
That's what I, I can in threesomes are not just threesomes
49:40
they're not just threesomes feeling in my heart, my heart
49:49
Like, have you ever been a threesome?
49:52
You never lived life?
49:56
No, because it depends on the person.
49:59
First of all, there's some people that just do orgies all the
50:02
They just go to orgy parties, they fuck all the time.
50:04
Like three different.
50:12
But I know too much about what time are they?
50:17
The people in threesomes.
50:19
Uh You know a lot about the threesome world.
50:22
You gotta talk, it's all about um conversation.
50:24
First of all, you have to kind of figure out what are your limits
50:29
Can you handle bringing someone into the relationship?
50:31
If you can't, you have to be honest and be like, no, it's not
50:34
But if you become a tough person to watch a girl get fucked or
50:38
your man get fucked or like your man fucking somebody else
50:42
I, I don't know if I can do that.
50:45
Yeah, I think have the conversation.
50:46
Find out what your limit to find out where, where you both stand
50:49
on stuff and then like go without for like dude, toys try to
50:52
spice things up but I tell you something slippery slope because
50:55
you know what's funny too.
50:57
I, I heard plenty of these stories where guys are like, yeah
51:00
You two girls old, fuck two girls.
51:02
One, some dudes don't even last that long.
51:04
So it's just like they want know the girl, they can't even handle
51:08
That's, that's why some dude just waste your time.
51:12
You drive over there, you get a new book that just costs like
51:14
fucking $3000 to go over the cocktail to get fucked for five
51:18
Like damn girl, you good.
51:20
I'm just saying some people, you know, yo, if you gonna bring
51:23
in another dude, apparently Jesus don't put it down.
51:28
Where'd you get that with that?
51:32
You know how to talk through some works.
51:33
This motherfucker, it won't matter which, which you are.
51:36
You're gonna make eye contact with the, with the fuck you were
51:39
Y'all don't know how to be players.
51:41
God damn, you are too awkward.
51:42
We were told you, what are you doing?
51:44
Well, hopefully we helped you out with your question.
51:47
I don't think we did but hey, but let us know what happened.
51:52
People supposed to shout out to Alfred.
51:54
Thanks for coming through, man.
51:58
Let people know where they can catch you.
51:59
Yo, Alfred Robles on everything.
52:02
And uh my next show is gonna be in Brea November 22nd Wednesday
52:07
before Thanksgiving.
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